Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

[Iwantout]

Hi Guys,
For the last 2 months I have done really well moderating. No drinking during the week and moderate drinking (for the most part) on weekends. I have noticed anxiety on the days that I am not drinking, making me want to drink. Until Sunday, I was able to control the urge to self-medicate...Then all hell broke loose. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and I had several panic attacks at the hospital. To overcome them, I bought beer. Lots of it. I probably had 18 yesterday. I feel like a piece of sh!t today. More anxious of course and just had my first beer already. I don't want to fall back into that vicious cycle...I don't enjoy drinking now, it serves to overcome my anxiety...What can I do?
My doc prescribed Valium since my hubby's cancer diagnosis but I haven't taken it yet. What should I do? Take Valium or the drink? Both are addictive and not able to deal with my anxiety longterm? Is my general anxiety caused by drinking even after 2 months of moderating? If so, how long does it take to become "normal"...For 2 months I limited my drinking to 2-4 drinks once a week. What gives?

[Cinders]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

Iwantout,

Hopefully your doctor did not prescribe enough Valium to get you addicted. The medical profession is well aware of how long you can take it without becoming dependent.

I, personally, would take the Valium short term and avoid drinking at all costs.

My personal opinion, though.

You know you are addicted to alcohol, that is for sure.

BTW, I am truly sorry about your husband. I hope everything gets better there and he becomes well. :l

Cindi

[cowgal]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

dittos

I am truly sorry about your husband, and I think Valium is better than drinkiong at this point of time, I am also having a hard time stopping this HORRIBLE addiction, I hate it, it is ruling my life!!! I hope I can kick it this time:fingers: :lilangel:

Much to love to you and I will be thinking of you and your husband's battle ahead....mine had a heart attack ( alot different, but could be bad still, esp since he hasn't followed any doctor advise on diet or excercise, drinks like a fish and smokes weed every day ) STUPID!!!!

Anyway enough of mine, I hope and pray for you and yours:h

[lorisunshine]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

Dear Iwantout,
I can feel for you. My husband was diagnosed with C. as well and I went absolutely haywire. I had been AF for month and was feeling positive and good about myself. I am back on the wagon for the most part, but keep falling flat on my face when the anxiety hits.

If I had been presented with your choices, I would definitely take the prescribed valium for the short term. It will give your mind a breezer and you can start sorting things out. Do not drink with the Valium. I know it will be hard, but you will need to take care of yourself first and foremost.
Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time.
I am sending you buckets of hugs.
Lori

[Finding My Self]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

Iwantout. I am so sorry to hear your news.... I hope your DH is OK.

All I can say is that yes, I self-medicated for anxiety and used Valium for ages.... I even still have the occasional 2mg. but never two days in a row...I just found it 'broke the cycle' and I could carry on for some while without too much panic.

But no booze is actually very helpful but it took a good 90 days to really notice. I still feel anxious loads but am just getting used to it. (4.5 months now.) It's been there since young childhood so.....must just be me. I hate it but I hate being pissed more! And the anxiety that follows that. So....when I am anxious I find if I stick with it it passes much more quickly than I am fearing...but I think if i had a DH diagnosed with C I would be all over the place...so. I'm so sorry.

I so wish you well....sometimes it seems we have fear of fear more than anything....don't be afraid of it....it can be OK. Have you thought of hynotherapy?

Love and best wishes to you
FMF xx

[Iwantout]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

Thank you all for your support! I have decided to not go cold turkey but bring it back down...I have done that two months ago, slowly decreasing my beers every day until I was able to do 2-4 drinks a week. It took a lot of willpower but despite the lingering anxiety, my life was better and I felt good about myself...I feel worthless today because I should be with my hubby all the time but I'm so scared of another panic attack...

[Accountable for Me]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

I am sorry for your news about your husband's cancer diagnosis. They say that the word 'cancer' can bring on more fear, worry, and anxiety than any other word in the English language.

A lot of cancers are treatable nowadays. What was his diagnosis? Was it caught early? I know my questions don't matter at the moment but I want to try to give you a little faith to grab onto right now.

Please be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. You will need to be strong in the long term not only for yourself but for him as well. I know you are feeling like a puddle of emotions at the moment. Please know drowning yourself in the alcohol won't help you any. If anything take the Valium for the very short term.

I am thinking of you, and please keep us posted. :l

[nancy]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

Hi I want out

I hope the valium is short-term. Is this some kind of old-school doctor? Why is he prescribing valium?

hmmmm

It sounds very addictive. I thought SSRIs were good for anxiety? Aren't there other options? Is this doctor primary care doc? you probably need a specialist, psychiatrist.

First of all, Accountable is right. There are so many different kinds of cancer with different prognosis. Has it spread yet? The word cancer encompasses a lot of different meanings so don't let it FREAK YOU OUT.

The fact that you moderated for two months is great. So you got freaked out and regressed. I don't think that means anything. Get back on track and read up on the type of cancer your husband has. PM me with some more details and maybe I can send you some useful information.

So back to you. You JUST got hit with this news and binged. Can you give yourself a week alcohol-free to just let the news sink in and spend time with your husband? one binge doesn't set you back to square one.

There are effective anxiety meds i think, but lifestyle issues are very important. how much caffeine do you have a day? Do you exercise? Review all that stuff. Don't just take an old-fashioned addictive medication for something you might be able to handle.

You think you can't handle this diagnosis? I bet you are not giving yourself enough credit!
Find out how resourceful you are and accepting of difficulties in life. WE don't do that when we are running to the booze too much.

Take care of yourself above all!

Nancy

PS, when I joined late last year there were lots of useful threads on this website about anxiety. Please do a search and make the most of it, PM members etc.

[ChangeAgent]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

I'm so sorry about your husband's diagnosis.

I've had anxiety issues for as long as I can remember, and would like to offer the following. You are facing a new challenge, it may be worthwhile to explore dealing with anxiety in new ways. Hypnotherapy might be great. I have had tremendous improvement in not reaching for the booze AND having much less anxiety by learning meditation. One short class per week, a few 1/2 hour CD's, and the book the Power of Now have been very helpful. Exercise is also very helpful.

Thinking of you.

[Lorelei]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

I found hypnosis very helpful in controlling my drinking, make sure that you keep listening to the CD's even after you are alcohol free...thats where I made my mistake. Try a few different ones as everyone is different.

Cancer is a huge blow but it can be dealt with. My mom had cancer and eventually passed away (of different reasons BTW) and it was hard. Try and take time for yourself. You can't help hubby if you are a mess. Best of luck to you, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

-lorelei

[BILLYJACK]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

In not here to judge or preach so please forgive me if im sounding that way. BUT, dont we alcoholics look to find EVERY reason in the world to drink,no matter WHAT it is?

Im very sorry about your husbands cancer and I will pray for you and your family. But sister, you have to be STRONG for other family members too. I lost my mom/dad and sister of 49 years old,all within 15 months of each other back in 99-2000, all of them to cancer.And I used their Illness and deaths as a sling so others could feel sorry for me, and so that I could JUSTIFY my alcohlism.

Learning to stray away from our addiction is a very difficult thing to do, especially when we have a loved one who is in distress. But even more important is the fact that if we as alcoholics are ever going to have a chance at recovering ourselves,we MUST learn to live with the hard facts of life, no matter what obstacles we are faced with.

Please find someone very close to talk to about this,and if you cant STOP the booze completely, than at least try to moderate.Think very HARD about what you are doing BEFORE you do it.

God Bless you and your family.

[nancy]

Can't handle the anxiety...screwed up

To billyjack:

I see you joined very recently..

And YES you do sound too preachy. Do you also post under different names?

This is not an AA recruitment center.