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**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 07:42 AM

July 13th

ditto Kath

WOW!!

procrastination!, unstructured time!, weekends and being AF!, perfectionism!,......you sound like me!:lol

I have been AF for 2 whole days, and will try again today......it is somewhat difficult during the week and almost impossible on the weekends, but with all your help it is doable during the week-days-in fact I have been able to go Tue-Thurs at least most weeks since finding this program!!! Kudos!!:rollin :happy

I still find when I drink I can't stop though!! I started being able to (only had 6 lites instead of 12!), but at time went on, escalated to 8, then 10, back up to 12 and 18 again....>: :evil talk about self-loathing!!

Spent all the money and time on program only to feel as though I failed at yet another program!! AA and MWO!! How devastating....BUT your kind words and never-ending support and love have kept me here and trying!!:

Kathy, you are in the right place, and you have been here for a while, so I think you know what you are doing and have DEFINITELY helped me w/ a problem or few!!

:h

Have a GREAT day all!!

Mary Anne:h :P :d

**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 08:28 AM

July 13th

Re: ditto Kath

I think it's what many of us moderators go thru in spurts, Kathy, so don't feel too badly. Like, this week seems pretty easy for me, but last week I was REALLY up there with the drink count. Week before that, easy. Now, thankfully, last wk, I feel as though I've (hopefully!) learned enough to get on track after a bad week and giving myself those liberties, and the "bad" days aren't the 13-15... more?? (I would forget), but I do get into the 8,9 range over the course of a "bad day", like that Sammy concert when we started at 1pm and didn't stop til 1am! Do that a coupla time a week and you're in for a helluva weekly drink count!
Anyway, I didn't like that, so that's why I upped my topa this wk. Didn't like being ABLE to count that high! So I'll spill it for this wk for you: sun: 6, mon: AF, tues: 3 with hubby out of town, so I get a gold star for that one! wed: 1 that I didn't even finish (started brushing my teeth as I was putting the boys to bed, and went "OMG! I've got my wine down there! OH WELL..." ) dumped it.
Running: Mon: 3 miles, Wed: 4.25 miles plus 1 bonus mile for hour long conditioning/yoga class!
So I'm at...10drinks, 8.25miles.
ooooooooooh. close race!
ANOTHER concert tonight! Spending the night in cleveland! Contemplating taking 150mg?? only been 3 days at 125, so I don't want to totally space out. I think I'll just stay at 125 and exercise some limits! Like 2 before, 2 during, 2 after limit or something. We just tend to make SUCH an event out of these things! It is fun...it's my Cowboy Mouth band!! Did you guys read my song I wrote to Lorik?? Hee hee... you have to hear it to understand. They liken the lead singer/drummer to "Animal" from the muppets! He's a riot. They are from New Orleans- real southern rock!

OK, everyone else, MA, hope you get your meds and eyes and joint pain worked out SOON. Hugs to your brother! Nice work on the AF days. They DO help.
frmca: I agree with Kathy. She always gives great advice! Do what you have to do for you, and as long as he is not drunk driving and he is staying safe, maybe he's just taking some liberties right now. If it does become a problem between the two of you, I'm sure you will have to address it. For now, get yourself on track, or you guys may end up throwing stones at each other! (speaking from personal experience!) good luck!
Judie, we need to talk soon!

How is Mary (MKR) doing?? Busy probably! Chrysa? you feeling better? I've been reading your posts on GD, and sorry to hear about your loss.

Off to swim practice for us, now. Lots of strength, and MWO angels on both shoulders today! (as in, no MWO angel on one shoulder, bottle of wine devil on the other!! hee hee!)
Love,
Becca

**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 09:55 AM

July 13th

Re: ditto Kath

Hi

I am feeling much better esp with the topa out of my system I feel like I have come back from the walking dead. But I slipped terribly last night with 4-5 rum & cokes. I don't want to dwell on it. I have a serious problem & need to get about fixing it. Period. Talk to you all later.
Chrysa

**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 10:55 AM

July 13th

Quik check in

Hi ya'll! Just a quik check in. I've gotta run into to town this mornin to the Vet. Not a big deal, just booster shots for my little guy. Had kinda funky weather the past 2 days,(on my days off), and been in a funky mood....:rolleyes Drank more wine than I should have yesterday & last night. I didn't get out of control, but I finished off a pretty good sized bottle in 2 days, haven't done that in a looonnng time...

Thank God I don't have a headache! Time for me to re-read my Mod Plan! Ok, Good day everybody.:P :d ...Judie

Chryssa, so sorry to hear about your loss. You're in my prayers. Things like this really make me question my faith...hard to find reason sometimes...:h :P I guess it's not for us to know.:d :h

**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 11:14 AM

July 13th

Re: Quik check in

The day after my birthday. Last night my son and daughter-in-law and my husband and I went to a very trendy hotel restaurant in the uptown area of Dallas because my son knows the chef. We had a huge meal with wine. Somehow with the topa, I taste the wine, but I don't feel the buzz in the same way. I do get a headache, though, and I do get my same old digestive problems. I don't seem to have the problems that you all complain about in terms of wanting to keep drinking once I've started. But if it's a two-hour meal, I'll drink through it. Not before the meal, though, and not after, which I would have done before I started MWO. No, everything is fine. Except for running to the bathroom in the middle of the night and making it...or not. I'm sorry the topa was such a bummer for you Chrysa. You might up your gaba and kuzu and use your cds more. I have gotten really lazy on the exercise and the hypno. I did order an exercise dvd for people with osteoporosis, though. Have a rockin day, Becca. I've heard of Cowboy Mouth. I think they used to play in Austin. Tomorrow we are going to hear our son play in San Antonio at a place called Floores Country Store. You can check their web site.

**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 11:21 AM

July 13th

July 13th

Hello Ladies,

Long, long day yesterday. My mom had her mastectomy and her vitals were good, her immune system's so shot her doctor wanted to see her at home asap. You can pick up so many nasty germs in a hospital! Her first lymph node didn't have any cancer on initial testing and that result usually holds 85% of the time on the rest of the testing. She is so tiny and frail, that is the scary part, but she has tons of spirit. We brought her home last night and she did well through the night. We can breathe a sigh of relief.

Now, just have my own second mammogram and sonogram tomorrow morning. I am hoping someone ready the films wrong! told my older sister, who had a lumpectomy in December but not parents or other siblings.

Judie, do the wet suit. I even used one in the Virgin Islands and the Pacific is sooooooo cold compared to the Caribbean. Hate to be the "Advisor" on this but your hubby is right, don't go out alone. Not always the best idea, even if you are itching to get out there.
:h It's just because I love you that I say that!

Mary Ann, it may be tougher to do mods than ABS. I am not sure I keep running between doing really well on mods/abs and then going overboard for where I want to be. I haven't had a night though since March 27th that I don't remember what I did or feel completely hungover. So take it easy on yourself, if you are not perfect yet! I am so sorry to hear about the glaucoma, hard to believe he told you 4 years ago huh? Is he cover his a** or do you think it is true? what are the recommmended treatments?

Becca, you are such an excellent record keeper! Recording it - really does show you what you are actually doing. You know the exercise part is so great too and you and Judie, seem to get more than the rest of us! That endoprhin thing is great huh?

Kathy, you are your own gate keeper - which can be good and bad in itself. tough position to be in but very independent also . . . which can be cool! Please don't feel like a failure, you don't have anyone in the house to keep track but you do have us to talk to.
:d and you have been wonderful with all of us.

Chrysa, I haven't been to general discussion yet. I am sorry if life is being tough on you right now. I am Miss rum and coke, can take or leave most everything else. Unsolicited Advice From Me: Try big glasses of water in between the drinks (Judie's advice that seems to work.) I tell myself I can have two so then kind of like candy as a kid, you want it to last - so I drink them slower and have water in between. works most days for me!

frmca and all who's husbands seem to throw road blocks up and or count your drinks but include some of their's in the count. Geez! been there, done that, didn't tell mine for a couple months about the program just because he seems to pull out the blocks. Gotta say I firmly believe it is because he may have to change so he ups the ante. Judie, you said yours had the July 4th discussion - Mine ripped the party open with my brother on the 4th - the whole darn weekend. Last week, I got home about 7:30, nothing defrosted for dinner, made myself a drink and before I got it finished he asked me how many that was. This is while I am still cooking dinner. Kind of lost it with him and said, while my liver enzymes have always looked good, his have been high for years. I basically told him to get a life, help out, whatever, but don't be counting drinks I haven't even been home long enough to have . . . because I have still been at the office busting my hump!! He replied with, you don't have to take it so personally >: Yeah RIGHT!

Have a great day ladies, we can do this!

:h :d :P

**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 11:21 AM

July 13th

Re: Quik check in

July 13, 2006

Dear Kathy,

Don't be scared to move to Absville, if that's what you want to do. I hear it's nice there this time of year! Maybe you can just get a rental there for a while. I hear Donna is going on vacation for a while... she may be interested in allowing you to move into her place.
If you do plan to stay in Absville for any extended period of time, that's great, too! I'll send a buff, handsome man over to help you move. I found this great moving company, where you can pay extra to have a sexy topless man move all your stuff, then even perform extra "services" FREE OF CHARGE!! No joke! Heck, I'll just send him over anyhow.
We'll all visit you often, and you better be sure to keep providing us with the amazing support and advice we have come to be so fortunate to have!
Just keep us posted, OK? No stress.

May this transition be as seamless as your flags....(does that even make sense?? I'm trying to be clever here, but I'm afraid the flags have seams....they are very neat though!!!oh boy!

)
Love,
Becca:d :h

**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 11:59 AM

July 13th

chrysalis

Dear Chrysa,

I just read your post under the 60's set. I too have used alcohol to deaden the pain of a couple nasty accidents. It is tough to feel chronic pain. I have been given pain meds but they almost always make me feel super lightheaded and nauseous. So for me alcohol is my home remedy. Have your tried the CD's yet? I have found that for those few minutes that I am in deep hypnosis, that numb heavy feeling he describes gives me a nice break from the pain, makes it easier to handle the rest of the evening.

No rah, rah bull here, just a nice break from pain.

I wish you a peaceful evening of no pain.

Hugs,
Mary

**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 01:57 PM

July 13th

Hey All!

No exercise or cd's yet, but I am making a BIG DENT in the BIG PILE of papers on my desk and kitchen table!!! Lots of filing will free up a lot of space in my house and in my head so that I will be able to take better care of myself so I won't be thinking "I really SHOULD be ......."

Mary Anne, just keep on trucking. Abs days do get easier for some, look at Becca!! Just don't be too hard on yourself!

Mary, I'm glad your Mom is so spunky. I hope that she continues to do well. I am also hoping that the results of your tests tomorrow morning indicate that there is nothing for you to worry about!!! Many prayers for you, my dear!!!:P

Sorry to hear that you are getting ripped off in the weather department Judie!!>: Hope that your funk lifts and you get re-inspired by reading your mods plan! Hope the clouds lift as well!!

Sophia, boy that dinner sounded good!!! Major yum!

I love elegant dinners. If only they could make a REALLY GOOD non-alcoholic wine, life would be perfect!

Incidently, just cause I'm moving to Absville, doesn't mean I won't come visiting!! I would miss you all too much! I hope you won't mind my popping in!!! We just won't be able to have drinks together!:rollin I'm sure you'll understand! I just know that I'm sliding down the slide. This isn't a case of my being hard on myself; it's just a case of my not denying that I need to do something different now than what I have been doing!

Becca, it seems like the longer you do mods, the better you do--with me it is the opposite, the longer I do it, the worse I do!!! There are those like Tawny who just keep it up day after day.... and Judie, who has an extra one or two and then gets right back to it!! I just need to get some good abs under my belt before I even THINK about moderation again! So I hope you will all pray to whatever diety you observe for my success, 'cause I'll need it!

You are all so sweet and supportive to me, what would I do without you?? Remember, Absville isn't far away at all!

Love,:d :d
Kathy

**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 05:45 PM

July 13th

Mary, you've got a lot on your hands. I had a lump removed last year, and it was benign, but that didn't mean that I wasn't way spooked by the experience. To have to do that and take care of a mother with a mastectomy would be really scary. I will keep you in my thoughts.

**Guest** · July 13, 2006, 09:18 PM

July 13th

Hi,
Just checking in for today.3 wines & I am going to bed now. OK day. I feel very bad that I have not kept up with everyone. I want to -- when I get my energy back. I read through today's post ..and....

Thank you all so much for thinking of me -- I am just not used to that. And I really appreciate it. And I think you are all totally wonderful & inspirational.

I hate, hate the thought Kathy, but I am going to have to follow you someday into absville. So so scary.

Anyway, you are all "phenomenal women". I feel blessed to have found you. If I could just step up...

Oh yes -- msg received from you all & universe -- getting back into the CDs (thx - yes good for back pain) & altho I hate swallowing pills will do the GABA daily as experiment to see if it works. Then move on to other supps to try to find most effective. Also I really want to get back into regular exercise. I have to really. Too old not to. Since I started on the topa in April my exercise has been bare minimum -- just couldn't move from the drug.

I hope I can maintain something. Feel very pathetic & a failure at the moment -- all of it - -the topa not working (had high hopes), not exercising enough, drinking hard liquor again. Oh dear. I hope I can get it together for a good week next week.

I have never been this open or honest about the details of how I feel myself regarding this or much of anything else so up close in. This is new.

Well rambling. Those icons on the right are starting to look like friends. Funny.

Thank you all. Hope everyone has a good night.
Manana~ Luv~Chrysa

**Guest** · July 14, 2006, 09:45 AM

July 13th

Not Rambling!!

Hey Chrysa,

You're not rambling at all. In fact, you move me greatly!! Maybe this honesty is new to you, but it inspires me to be more honest myself, and it seems to come naturally to you. I also know what you mean about those silly little folks starting to look like friends too!! NOW THAT IS SCARY!!!

I'm sorry that you are so tired. The exhaustion comes through in your post. If you understand football at all, I hope you can understand this analogy. I don't think you have failed. You just didn't make the first down this time, so you can't go for the touchdown this time around. You have to drop back and punt for now. But you will get the ball back and try again!! Lots of us, including me, don't get this right the first time.

Anyway, I have to run to work now, but I'll be back later. Hope to see you on today's thread. I just had to respond to your post from what is now yesterday!

Love,
Kathy

**Guest** · July 14, 2006, 10:27 AM

July 13th

Re: Not Rambling!!

Thanks Kathy -- so much. :c :h And yes -- I get the football analogy -- great one!

**Guest** · July 14, 2006, 10:31 AM

July 13th

Re: Not Rambling!!

PS -- we need a happy tears smiley face !!

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