Straight up, I'm an alcoholic. I'm playing games with my health care provider team. I've told them that I'm an alcoholic, but I've downplayed, dismissed, and flat out lied about my consumption habits. He got me enrolled in a V.A. program, but I didn?t follow through. I'm at the age, now, where bad health choices are catching up with me. I'm overweight, have high blood pressure, get swollen ankles when I drink, I live with diarherra most of the time or at least very soft stools, and my blood sugar is borderline diabetic. I also suffer from psoriasis and extremely itchy skin. My dermatologist has ordered blood work to be done. The last time I had blood work done, I had elevated protein levels in my blood that indicated that my liver lining was leaking. (I read somewhere that if your liver isn't functioning properly, it can deposit toxins in your skin resulting in intense itching.) He wants to rule out any internal itch causes, but if I get the blood work done, my secret of being an alcoholic will be revealed. The last time I had blood drawn, a nutritionalist correctly identified my secret but left me an out. She said my sugar levels indicated that I was drinking a lot of alcohol or that I was eating a lot of simple sugars. Ever since then, I've avoided all lab work because I know it doesn't lie. I know I need to quit, doctor, but the only thing that really matters is that next beer. I'm consciously disregarding my well being because I've resigned myself to the realization that I'm just killing time until I die, so what's the use. Might as well go blitzed... I?m too book smart for my own good. I know all of the programs and can talk recovery with the best of them, but it?s just a game. For example, if someone asks if I have a sponsor, a ?yes? appeases them (halo effect?) and they don?t ask any tougher questions, like, have you talked to him today? or this week? or what does he say about this? I have no real desire to recover and zero follow-through. How do I end this living Hell?
-
-
Blood Tests
Dear Blood Tests,
I've worked as a VA physician and have many colleagues currently at a VA clinic in my community. Please take this next sentence to heart and in a kindly manner. You are not fooling anyone. Feel free to use all the information on this web site and take it to any provider to begin treatment for this disease of alcohol addiction. You will find helpful clinical studies, research, and other links related to the MWO program. I would recommend leaning on the discussion forum and use it as your family of group support. It is important you understand you are only hurting yourself when you behavior as you have. Unfortunately, this disease encourages people to come up with all kinds of excuses and rationalizations. You are not the first to behave in this way. But you must now face up to it and make a change.
I believe you will find the MWO program very useful. If any of your VA providers would like to talk to me, I would be more than happy to discuss the program with them. They can contact me via Roberta's help desk. The Email is info@mywayout.org and she will see that we are put in touch.
Thanks for your honesty. Now lets get to work!
--Dr. Garcia
Comment