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mya
January 5th, 2008, 02:37 PM
two days that is all i lasted!
Jan 2 and 3
And the only reason is b/c i didn't leave my house and yesterday i take my son to the library i went to rent movies and then picked up a pint.
My husband is playing golf right now and probably thinking I'm a loser!
I wanted to play golf too but no I'm home too tired and drinking again
Like I said I suck

buckledown
January 5th, 2008, 02:46 PM
First, YOU DO NOT SUCK!...this has happened to all of us...i can have such resolve and as the days go by i weaker and give in...we understand....be proud of the achievements you did make and start again...make a plan and look at your triggers for drinking...most of all keep posting and keep being honest...it is a journey and you can do this....don't beat yourself up...sending you big hugs...and blessings...buckle

Rags
January 5th, 2008, 03:07 PM
Dear mya,
I agree with buckledown.
Please don't be so hard on yourself. Saying /thinking negative things about ourselves won't help, it will only reinforce and keep you at low esteem. Hey, you lasted 2 and 3, and there's the rest of the month to go. And the New Year is a hell of a time for many of us to be going AF with so much temptation around . So, why not start again tomorrow and see if you can go another 2 or 3 days. It isn't easy, which is why we're all here, but please try not to listen to the little voice in your head that tries to sabotage your resolve. You can do this.... you've already had 2 days AF, so just set yourself up for another couple of days AF.
Take care,

pixie
January 5th, 2008, 03:07 PM
Beating yourself up doesn't help any - it just feeds the fire. Try to pull the positives out of this -- you were AF for two days. And now go for three, or four, or more. Look at this honestly, without self-loathing or excuses, figure out what you need to do, and try again.

It's a process, but I know you can do it, because we can ALL do it.

pixie

Determinator
January 5th, 2008, 03:11 PM
self esteem issues are common amongst us here. Take heart Mya....we know the feeling. The simple fact that you come here shows that you are NOT a loser.

betty boop
January 5th, 2008, 04:35 PM
You are not a loser, If you were then you wouldn't be here ........

Be strong, you have done two days which is good by anyones standards ...

Keep it up .......

SK8RGRL
January 5th, 2008, 04:54 PM
2 days! 2 days! hey listen... I am the 2 day expert yeah!! well tomorrow will be day 3 for me .... come join me!

keeta
January 5th, 2008, 04:58 PM
mya,
firstly, you are not a loser. Also, you re not alone. I slipped after 3 days. I am not feeling terribly positive about today, but if nothing else, I know I WILL try again.
Hang in there, keep posting, and don't give up!
Hugs!
Kee

MyOwnWoman
January 5th, 2008, 05:07 PM
I used to really beat myself up too for making it just one day, or two days or three, then drinking again. But I kept trying anyway. Quit and got back to drinking again, over and over again. But ya know what? With every day that I was AF, and especially every multiple occurences of AF days, I got stronger and more confident. And I criticized myself less and less, which is huge in furthering success.

I know it may seem like you are stuck, but really, with every effort and every AF day you are getting yourself further along the path.
DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

bootcampbarbie
January 5th, 2008, 05:11 PM
yes take stride in that you are taking inroads. and i know i've probably already asked but are you on rj's program? because it works if you do it the way she puts it down. supps and topa work magic. just wanting to give you a hug before i jump on the plane :)

Saint Jude
January 5th, 2008, 05:29 PM
Mya, 2 days is awesome! Ive been modding for 2 years..and haven't been AF for ages! (not drunk... like the old daze, but not AF )
I'm wayyy over-due for going AF.
Don't discount those 2 days you have. :goodjob:

Dolly Sunshine
January 5th, 2008, 05:47 PM
You don't suck alcohol sucks and our reaction to it sucks.

planetjanet
January 5th, 2008, 07:31 PM
Hi Miya,

Not much to write because I think everyone said if for me and that's don't beat yourself up for something that is a hard thing to do. You should be proud that at least you were able to go 2 days AF and that you come on to this site and was honest, wow there is alot to be said about that :goodjob: It shows that you are being true to yourself. Just brush yourself off and start again, the mere fact that you are having the willingness to want to make a change, hard change and stop saying you suck!!!! Hope that helps :)

Keep us posted and get yourself back up...YOU CAN DO IT!!


Big hugs,
Janet :h

Accountable for Me
January 5th, 2008, 07:47 PM
Once I stopped beating myself up for a slip, I started to gain control of the AF. Don't beat yourself down. We suffer from esteem issues to begin with, hence, the drinking problems.

Be kind to yourself and try to say positive things about yourself. It is HARD to stop, period. The more you try, the better you will get. It is like learning how to ride a bike.

Hang in there!

mya
January 5th, 2008, 07:52 PM
Thanks everyone!!! makes me feel good
i can do it and i willl
dh and i are watching football and i cannot beleve that the redskins lost
now lets go stellers!!!

Suzanna
January 5th, 2008, 08:35 PM
Good for you Mya!! Hey go Jaguars! LOL

Keep at it and keep thinking positive thoughts... it is our awareness of our drinking that helps us to control it with the knowledge that we are not alone in this, not at all. As long as we know that we have a problem, and others share that problem, and we can come on here and learn from each other, it can only result in more controlled drinking leading to af days, adding up. We can begin to define what goals are right for us.

Big :l Suz

fickle
January 5th, 2008, 08:44 PM
It's ok, I suck too..

Keep a little diary.. log of days you go AF.. and be PROUD!
I could not imagine any AF days before coming here and finding everyone with the same goals and aspirations.. and often similar slips.. but keeping on trying leads to so many successes!! IT's true! I have lots of AF periods and lots of slips.. but each time I'm learning more and more that worrying & beating myself up is the biggest trigger and staying calm and trying again is the only way. I made it AF for two weeks then did a silly thing! Am having trouble going more than a couple of days at a time right now but know I will make it longer soon. Thanks for starting this thread.. i needed to read it too! :H

mya
January 5th, 2008, 09:21 PM
Ok suzanna !
let's go steelers

Thankful
January 5th, 2008, 10:51 PM
Mya - ditto, ditto, ditto to all of the above. I'm glad that you seem to be feeling better. Good for you, hun.

I just want to add that I have only been a member 10 days, but they all have been AF after binge drinking for many, many years. Well, what I really wanted you to know was that my day 3 was always hell for me. On day 3 with MWO, I logged on crazy with cravings. I didn't think I would read anything that would keep me from drinking. But I was wrong. I found some wonderful and encouring words. I cried when I read them and it kept me away from the beer. Which by the way, is around me 24/7. I live with my family who all but one is a raging alcoholic. So I know how hard it is to stay sober.

So bottom line is, if you can just log on when you get that craving. Even if your out and went to the liq store, log on before you even crack open the bottle. We will help you.

Good luck. I know you can do it. You bounced back with amazing optimism!!

The only thing I can't ditto on is the teams :H . GO PATS!!

mya
January 5th, 2008, 11:13 PM
thanks but right now my dh is bout to jump out of his skin watching the game steelers winning by one