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New Kid In Town

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    #1

    New Kid In Town

    Hi there folks,
    I am very happy to have come across this site. It breaks my heart to read some of the threads but also many make me laugh out loud as I can relate to them so well.
    I started drinking at 13 and somewhere along the line lost the ability to know when I had had enough to drink, always the last person standing at the party...still with beer
    ( whatever was avail ) in hand. I have been very aware of my drinking issues from about 17 yrs old and have tried everything to moderate but alas my mind is set..after 3 drinks the chemistry in my brain switches to a beer hungry greed beast. I've done the AA thing ( 9 months of sobriety ). I Became a perfectionist during that time not giving myself a break, taking WAY too much on.

    Well , I could write a thesis about " the bane of my existence " so I will stop here for now.

    It is comforting to know that I wasn't the only one that would say the night after a big one " I AM NEVER DRINKING AGAIN" and in your heart really really mean it. While your mates just laughed it off.

    So Hi again, thanks for having me....I hope to draw from and give some inspiration to this wonderful site!

    Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained
    Feel the Fear But Do It Anyway
    Tags: None
    #2
    New Kid In Town

    :welcome: Up & Away.
    Nice post, you seem to be in the right frame of mind to beat this beast. :goodjob:
    M W O is a great place for advise & support. Keap posting & coming back, It brings this most difficult journey a lot more in reach.

    All the best.
    K.F.
    There's more to life than success. The greatest success is living well.

    Comment

      #3
      New Kid In Town

      Hey there and welcome UpUp!!
      I can relate very well to your post and you will find endless support here..
      More power to ya!!

      Comment

        #4
        New Kid In Town

        Welcome!

        You will find tons of support here! So glad you found us.

        Comment

          #5
          New Kid In Town

          Welcome to yet another Aussie!! Wishing you every success (like me!) and enjoyment from this wonderful community.
          It always seems impossible until it's done....

          Comment

            #6
            New Kid In Town

            Thanks!

            It is great to get such snappy replies- thanks everyone.
            The Biggest hurdle for myself is deciding on which path to take...
            That of sobriety or keep plugging away at moderating?

            My mother was an alcoholic for many years but she has learnt to moderate over the years and is a responsible in control drinker now. This is were I get stumped. My mother will tell me just to keep working on moderation techniques because she believes in me. I am sure you all can understand though that sometimes you simply don't want to take the risk of having another hangover and removing even more of your fading dignity and self respect.

            I believe that if I truly knew that I had no chance of learning to moderate I would be able to commit to sobriety....I guess that is why we all slip back into old ways...The hope of gaining that elusive control.

            I was sober for 9 months and felt really powerful and in control but I also avoided many different occassions/events that were alcohol orientated. I alienated myself and felt more alone than when I was drinking.

            I would like to know of any networks that non drinkers/ recovering alcoholics can talk and actually organise events ...no alcohol events. I just never meet non drinkers!

            I deserve an amazing , full life..we all do!
            Looking forward to a brighter future.
            Feel the Fear But Do It Anyway

            Comment

              #7
              New Kid In Town

              The social life aspect of not drinking is a difficult one to say the least. I actually had to change my social circle for a long time, although these days I can hang out in the pub with my mates without even thinking of drinking.

              I started making new friends who's focus was on what we did, rather than where we went (the pub). For me that meant joining a motorcycle club and hanging out with them - it's hard to drink when you want to ride!

              Do you have any hobbies or interests you'd like to take up? That's a great way of meeting people who don't drink.
              It always seems impossible until it's done....

              Comment

                #8
                New Kid In Town

                Hi Up! I second Flip...getting to do things where people don't drink - or rather, drink is only an after event option...things where doing things precludes drinking-in-activity...(rather than thinking-in-activity!! Which is better!)

                Moderating was my goal....and I'm there.....(just now anyway - ever never complacent!) BUT....
                1. There isn't any alcoholism in my family. (Yet your Mum's cracked it so....!)
                2. I hadn't drunk (more than socially) for most of my life - yea...then I went crazy!)
                3. I drank at home and wasn't pulled to drink by friends/family etc.
                4. I did 106 days before even trying an AF beer! Which was great - all the taste and non of the worry!
                5. I've reached a point that I don't like the woozy feeling of drink....
                6. ....so I have found a point of enjoying just a half glass of wine topped up with soda 4-5 times a week. Back to the standard 'aperatif' before dinner (not that posh believe me!)

                This probably doesn't seem like moderating to most! I mean, don't we drink to get that woozy feeling? Um, for me, the moment I start liking that again is the time (for me) I am in trouble. And, like sugar, it stays overly sweet if you stay away from excess...

                So, why do I diddle about with this little bit? Coz I can.....and I feel so lucky....so many would be 'off again' at just one sip. And I'm not and it stops so many 'questions' and is soooo easy I find. Someone pours me a glass of wine at Christmas....I can sip it, top it up with water, leave half of it, make it last 2-3 hours...and not want any more...it's so easy to say, "No thanks,I'm fine" when someone goes to fill up my glass than, "No I don't/can't/mustn't drink/am on meds/yah-de-yah..."

                So, maybe I am saying that my mods is worthless to others! (I can see why!) but just maybe, if still getting woozy is the goal but just not falling down drunk...hmmm, that's so hard. Once woozy I would think all self-control, sense of amounts etc goes out of the window and away it all goes? And, for me, I would need to start looking at my reasons very hard....what's turned up that I am avoiding again? We are all so different....some talk of 2-4 glasses 3-4 times a week as modding.....I'd be on the floor now!! Yet, when I stopped 8 months ago, I was on half a bottle of brandy a day and rising....eeek! (A couple of months of that...shall we just say, I went through a bad patch!!)

                I have seen so many 'versions' of ways out in loads of people here....but as RJ (Roberta Jewell!) named it "My Way Out"....I guess I would..and that's what's so amazing about this place. And that all the versions have a thread/place/bunch of merry pilgrims so there is so much more 'room to move' than AA.

                I hope you find your way out happy and successfully....we're all here to support and follow and muudle through with you! I hope you don't mind my burble above...not meant to be 'a method', just where I am and what's worked for me - so far! - in case there's any meat on the bones you can find useful....

                Anyways - here's to new hobbies and pastimes without drink featuring big and then new friends and a new life for you! If we can do it, so can you!

                Love FMS xx
                :heart: c: :heart:
                "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

                Comment

                  #9
                  New Kid In Town

                  Welcome and stick around..it is a great community...:l Buckle

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