Failed, failed failed

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

I am only posting this as a wake up call to myself, so please don't worry about replies. I have failed - sorry Bessie (happy birthday by the way). Had a huge binge weekend and am now sick as a dog - this is now rock bottom for me, but I can't seem to see any way forward. I was so positive on New Year's eve and now I am so pathetic. I am losing my grip on everything, work, family the lot. So I am crying my eyes out now and yes, I am drinking the wine left over from yesterday - just a mess, sad, ashamed and lost. Sorry guys.

[KateH1]

Failed, failed failed

Hi Last,
Nothing can make us feel more depressed and hopeless than a hangover!! I know, I have been there many times. First of all, poor the rest of that wine down the drain and start drinking tons of water. Time to detox, sweetie! Honestly, more wine is the very last thing that you need!

Also, what are you doing to stop drinking? Are you using the Kudzu and L-glut? Have you read the MWO book?

By the way, no need to apologize to us, many if not all of us have been where you are right now! So, dump the wine, dump the guilt and get back on track!

Hugs,
KateH

[hamlet]

Failed, failed failed

Dear Last

Don't just beat yourself up, all roads have bumps in them, you have hit a big pothole, but you can pick up and carry on trying.

Starting is the hardest thing to do but you can start whenever you want, including now if you stop what you are doing and reassess.

I am hardly in a place to be counseling you after many years of drinking, plenty of failures in stopping etc but I feel for you, been there done that and now trying again. Please give yourself another chance.

Blessings and love, M

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

Failed, failed failed

Thanks Kate - I've read the book, got the t-shirt, been a member of this forum for a long time and still can't seem to get my act together! I tried Kudzu but it made me feel like I had the worst bladder infection ever - I'm scared to take it again, but no-one else seems to have had this reaction. I really appreciate your response and support, but right now I am a hopeless crying mess - thanks again anyway.

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

Failed, failed failed

Hamlet - thank you also.

[buckledown]

Failed, failed failed

You are not hopeless....just struggling with a problem...remember that everyday is a new day and you can always begin again...it is a gift...i have been where you are many times and the hangover makes the depression sooooo much worse...tomorrow with sleep and water things will look brighter...drink lots of water and tea and try to flush your system...keep posting as the day goes on and we will be here...i am sorry you are feeling so low...but you can begin again...big hugs to you...blessings..buckle:l

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

Failed, failed failed

How can total strangers show such compassion and kindness - I can't even show kindness to myself. Buckle, I have thought for a long time that I suffer from depression, but my upbringing and my "mind" doesn't allow that to be true - pull yourself together, that's my answer to everything. Well, the left over wine is now finished, not poured down the drain, but poured down my sorry throat - strange thing is that there is whisky, Jack Daniels and red wine in the house and I won't touch any of it because I don't like it - just dry white wine, what a plonker!! Yes, I am struggling, but I do appreciate your kind comments and support - I will try - I've not eaten at all today and it is now 15:45 UK time and getting dark and it's raining (just for a change!) - thanks again, you are all very special people.
J

[janka]

Failed, failed failed

You sweet, poor lady. Last you've done the drinking before and maybe you should really think about how you will mod or abs and what will make this time different, and just do something to get an improvement ... baby steps, that's all. You see, I am an idiot ... I became af with a medical emergency that got me in the ICU -- all by accident ... I waited too long. you have an opportunity to do it as you prefer and at your own pace ... please take good care of yourself and just get a start in a healthier direction, j

[KateH1]

Failed, failed failed

Summer Wine,

I hope that you are feeling a bit better today. This alcohol thing is not for wimps! It can really bring us to the depths. I know, I have done it all, poored the alcohol down the drain! Swore to myself I would never drink again, so many, many, times! Only to go right back and put myself in that horrible, sad, liquored up place!! Talk about self torture! I so wanted to be able to "Learn" to "Enjoy"....wine, you know in that romantic way that it is shown in the movies and in books..........yep! right! Learn?????? Not possible, it is not about Learning, it is about having an allergic reaction to the stuff.

Last year, since starting here in late Aug. I had several strings of AF days, just when it would start to feel good, I would drink.......crazy, that is all I could tell myself.....I am crazy to do this!

Well, on Dec 23, I decided to become a Non-Drinker! I would no longer feel sorry for myself because I could not enjoy the drink! I would focus every day on how great and liberating it is to have that beast off my back, forever! Yes, I have momentary struggles, at times, fooling myself for a moment, that I might be able to have just one, or two? Instead, I get busy, read post's, take a walk.......make some Detox Tea. So far, I am feeling really good! Amazing how much better life becomes with each passing day!

I am not special, You can do this!!! Please try, and I MEAN, Really Try!! Please!

Take Care of You!
Hugs,
KateH

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

Failed, failed failed

Hi Kate - thank you, I am feeling so much better today. This time yesterday I was crying, feeling sorry for myself and I stood and looked at myself in the hallway mirror, still in my PJs, hair looking like an explosion in a mattress factory, face all puffed up, wine glass in one hand, wine bottle in the other and I cried at my own reflection! Today, I am showered, dressed, just taken the dogs for a walk before it gets too dark - not had any wine today and will not have any this evening. Kate, you know, I think I can do this, this time. I really scared myself yesterday - I will come back to this thread this time next week and I know things will have changed for the better.
Thank you everyone you are very special peeps!
xxx

[Accountable for Me]

Failed, failed failed

Hangovers do, indeed bring about the worst in depression. Think of this as a possible turning point for you! There are tons of people here who can help you get your life back on track. Stay close to us and lean on us for support. Many of us had hit a rock bottom and can provide you with our experiences. Getting those emotions out is very healthy!

[buckledown]

Failed, failed failed

great that you are feeling so much better...sometime it takes getting that low to make a change...hope you get a good rest tonight as well and you will feel twice as strong tomorrow..hugs to you..buckle

[KateH1]

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Hi Summer Wine,

Wow! What a difference a day makes! I know you can do this! I can't wait to see you here next week!! In the meantime, set your attentions, every morning, before you brush your teeth!!! This has been a powerful tool for me!

I will share my intention for today:
Today, I am a non-drinker, only people and ideas that serve my greater good come into my life.

Keep posting!!! Happy AF Day!
Hugs!
KateH

[keeta]

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Summer.without.Wine!

glad to hear you are feeling better! keep it up!
many hugs XO
K

[Akinna]

Failed, failed failed

HI..
BEEN THERE SO MANY TIMES ALSO.. LIKE THE OTHERS I SAY DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP.. THIS IS A LEARNING PROCESS. . IT'S JUST A LITTLE BUMP.. .. NEXT TIME WILL BE BETTER.. ..

TAKE CARE...