Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Hi All: I thought that once I stopped drinking all my problems would be solved. Now that the newness of sobriety has worn off (no, I'm not thinking about drinking again), & the holiday frenzy is over, I'm in my world in a different way. I have the same family issues I've always had. However, the drinking took up a lot of space in my head (even when I wasn't drinking). Now that the blockage of booze has been removed, my thoughts & feelings seem very immediate & sharp. Like everyone, I have my problems, & the lack of booze puts them in stark relief. I had a very down weekend. I did all the things I could think of to lift myself:
-kept busy
-saw the g-kids,
but the depression lingered.

I'm thinking that this is the universe's way of telling me that I have something to learn from my feelings. I feel a little better today but still not quite myself. Depression has never been a big part of my life...except when it was a direct result of my drinking. I'm going to ride this out. I'm going to an Alanon meeting tonight & will try to attend others this week. It sometimes helps me to hear others talk about their struggles & how they are trying to solve them.

I know this post doesn't sound like the old "cheerleader" Mary, but this is how I feel. I know in my heart of hearts that drinking wouldn't do anything positive, so I will not drink. I've thought about it as a source of relief, but I will not drink. I will not jeopardize all the sobriety I've built up (94 days) in order to get the false high. Thank you everyone for listening...I hope this made sense. Mary

[treeman]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

mary....always look forward to your post...

i know what you mean and state about life..."the hits keep coming"....
just because i stopped drinking...6 days AF...the world hasn't stopped....the president hasn't called to congratulate me and say thank you, next on the agenda is world peace. all of the usual problems are still there, some more acute than others. now that i'm sober, i seem to be able to prioritize a little better. scheduling has become a little easier. i do less running around "putting out the fires"....

of course, anxiety kicks in during certain hours and under certain issues...i just think that i am starting to train myself to deal with problems better....i believe that after adequate "training" it will become 2nd nature....just need to stay on the bicycle and stay out of the ditch....

sorry for the rambling...

[Finding Me]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Thank you for your post Mary and please don't feel like you always have to be the "cheerleader". Sometimes it is nice to allow others to help and support or just lend a shoulder to lean on.

I may be going in a opposite direction then you are thinking but I will throw this out any way. I have done a few 100+ AF days here and there before and when I do I get the feeling after awhile of a let down or a depression if you will. Maybe I did want a big party from the president and a big diamond from the hubby...lol or for me it is the fact that my family see's me as "recovered" and don't see the struggles that I still face on the inside. So I am left to deal with that on my own and still deal with lifes daily issues as they come and they are still there they never go away, do they?

Sometimes it is the time of year or month also that is just hard to shake. Just let it ride and see where it takes you...

Happy Monday Everyone!

[rustop61]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Hi everyone

Thanks for being so honest Mary. Dont apologies for not being upbeat all the time, none of us are. Glad that you are feeling a little better today. I guess up to this you were on a high, motivated by your success and boy have you had some success in MWO. Things are probably settling down and you are entering the next phase. I think it was Starlight who experienced something very similar. Hang in there, things will get better and we are all here to support you.

Rustop

[juli86]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Hi Mary...thanks for the honest description of your feelings. I've heard several people say they're a little blue right now because of the anti-climax of the holidays, plus the winter weather. Maybe that's all it is for you right now. Are you able to take some time just for yourself? I've found others' suggestions about treating yourself for a while as if you have the flu....really, really indulging yourself in taking care of yourself....to be helpful to me so far. I had several AF days in November and December, and today is day 7 in the current string, so I'm nowhere close to you, but a little self-absorption has worked! Hang in there, and thanks for all the wonderful posts...

[universal]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Mary - I am sorry that you are feeling so down.........

I know that sometimes it feels like once you remove the alcohol all will get better in life - of course that is not the case - things will always be thrown at us, triggers will always come forth. I love that you have recognized this and have still said - no, I will not drink. That to me shows such inspiration.

This time of year is difficult for many - after the frenzy the gloomyness of winter can set in. Take some time for Mary - have a hot bath, read a good book, go for a long walk or whatever it is you like to do. Try to get some sun on your face - always helps me.

94 days - says something great to me! You are a strong woman, I hope you have a better day tomorrow - let us be your cheerleader for a while.

Keep smiling,
Love,
Uni

[retteacher]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Everyone: Thank you so much. Your words helped me more than I can say. M

[Determinator]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

whew! late check in for garlic breath. been running around like a rat in a maze today.

Mary, you are still cheerleader as far as I'm concerned!
even your garlicy friend here isn't always chipper and up for games....that is life. However life is mostly very darn good these days.

since alcohol use is a symptom...once we've removed they symptom we must now get to work finding the reason behind it...a new challenge. probably not what we wanted but it is what it is and we keep up the adventure.

happy adventuring friends

[vinophile]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Good Evening Abstainers,
Just saying a quick hello.

Mary, I'm sorry you're down but do so thank you for your post. I know you are retired but you are indeed such a wondeful teacher!!!! Your post really hit home with me tonight .

Thank you.

Janet

[Cinders]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Mary,

Your post today was SOOO inspiring. Because, even though you are down you are thinking about life in the whole.

Booze does NOTHING good to make our lives better.

Life, in its wisdom, is sometimes difficult. Sometimes hard.

We COULD drink ourselves into oblivion but where does that leave us???

Good on you for not wanting to drink even though depressed. You are an inspiration even when depressed, girl!!

I hope you wake up tomorrow feeling great. However, I know that even if you don't feel great, you will still not drink because IT WILL NOT MAKE THINGS BETTER BUT MUCH WORSE.

I love you so much for your honesty, candor and truth.

Love,
Cindi

[charlee]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Mary
Loved your post....Hoping for a better tomorrow...

[retteacher]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

I did go to an Alanon meeting & the camaraderie there helped a lot. I won't drink my way through these feelings. I know they won't last forever ("this too shall pass"). Thank you everyone. Mary

[Accountable for Me]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Mary, you are doing wonderfully. I think it is the time of year. It seems many are feeling some sort of the blues. I also think it has a lot to do with the resuming of 'life' after the focus being on the holiday season. I, too, am feeling a little off, myself.

Keep you chin up - you are doing mmmmmmmmmmarvelously!

[YoungAtHeart]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Hi All, and Espec. Mary,

Mary, when I reached 100 days, something started to change for me--I didn't feel as comfortable counting days anymore. It was a little depressing, because I had to wait longer for another week or another month to pass. Suddenly, from the days passing by so quickly, time seemed to slow down. I was jealous of people who had more sobriety than me, thinking about how loooooonnnnnggg it would take me to get there. It seemed like it would be endless for another month to go by, and then there was life--the good, the bad and the ugly--to deal with. I started feeling angry about not being able to drink sometimes. Thank goodness for my therapist, who understood and helped me talk through it. I don't know if that makes any sense to you or is relevant to you at all.

I do know that it passed with time. I just rode it out. Now, I smile as each month passes, but I feel much more content. I can never completely relax, of course, or AL might decide to try and creep back into my life.

Anyway, I hope that you figure out what is making you feel blue. I think that the aftermath of the holidays might be a big factor, too.

Lots of love,:heart:
Kathy

[Denise]

Mon. - Jan. 7 - Daily Thread

Hello Retteacher and Everyone.

It might sound strange but there must be a kind of mourning period after giving up alcohol. It's a big life change after all. Just like any other mourning period we have to let it run its course; it's important to let it happen. And like all mournng the feelings will ease over time.

Also I agree with others about the time of year affecting mood. I've suffered from depression since I was a child, and the winter time is always more difficult. And it always gets better as the days get longer.

Day 2 AF for me. Feeling inspired by all the courage and determination expressed on here.