I was prepared to go AF for five days Monday. However, like Lucifer himself were monitoring me, I began getting hammered socially. I mean neighbors, people at the store...everybody. I'm definitely stigmatized. The drink has been my magic elixir for this and while it generally works, I know that it is beginning to work on my body as well. That's why I sincerely wanted to turn over a new leaf. I found out about this program and it really inspired me to want to change. I bought the book. While it is generally directed at the working professional ( desk job types ) I found universally useful info in it.
Anyway, what do I do? I want to get into a healthier routine, but getting my self-esteem and security smashed by the town in general just perpetuates the rut I've been in. It seems so hopeless. I want to help myself, but all I get is injured socially. The only support I find is on here. That's great. But even I cannot totally live through the monitor.
What do you do when any necessary public contact just pummels you?
I ask questions that many probably cannot relate to. In a nutshell, the problem most likely is: I'm on disability and people do not approve of me. This is largely why I'm trying to rehabilitate myself because no one can really live in isolation totally shut out from society. I have to fit in to a degree. They don't seem to understand that these years of abuse and drinking have not led me down:confused confused: the road to improvement. They seem to think that berating me will propel me to become productive in their eyes. While I wish I would have caught on to this mentality A LOT sooner, now I'm facing some personal rehab before it's a possibility. And little to no outer support.
I tell myself "just do it" is probably the only way out. But, I've developed a chemically dependent mind. I can only take so much of their scorn before I'm popping cans again.
I'm worth saving! Even if the majority doesn't agree. I believe being given life means you have the right to that life. I know we suffer repercussions for our wrongdoings, even at the hands of the court of public opinion. But what do you do when community just has it in for you?
Anyway, what do I do? I want to get into a healthier routine, but getting my self-esteem and security smashed by the town in general just perpetuates the rut I've been in. It seems so hopeless. I want to help myself, but all I get is injured socially. The only support I find is on here. That's great. But even I cannot totally live through the monitor.
What do you do when any necessary public contact just pummels you?
I ask questions that many probably cannot relate to. In a nutshell, the problem most likely is: I'm on disability and people do not approve of me. This is largely why I'm trying to rehabilitate myself because no one can really live in isolation totally shut out from society. I have to fit in to a degree. They don't seem to understand that these years of abuse and drinking have not led me down:confused confused: the road to improvement. They seem to think that berating me will propel me to become productive in their eyes. While I wish I would have caught on to this mentality A LOT sooner, now I'm facing some personal rehab before it's a possibility. And little to no outer support.
I tell myself "just do it" is probably the only way out. But, I've developed a chemically dependent mind. I can only take so much of their scorn before I'm popping cans again.
I'm worth saving! Even if the majority doesn't agree. I believe being given life means you have the right to that life. I know we suffer repercussions for our wrongdoings, even at the hands of the court of public opinion. But what do you do when community just has it in for you?
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