View Full Version : It's the weekend, nothing can stop me from drinking

January 18th, 2008, 06:46 AM
Hi there,

Friday is here again and I've been craving a drink all week but promised myself I would let myself go on Friday and Saturday night the same as last week. I know a lot of you will probably think I should cut it out completely but the thought of not drinking at all makes me want to head off to the nearest off-license. Before this I was drinking over half a bottle of vodka every night. I find it easier to stay off alcohol during the week, I don't even think about it until the danger time when I would normally have started drinking. This is usually between 7.00pm and 8.00pm when my young sons have gone to bed and it's 'me' time. A couple of the posts on here give me some inspiration with this suggesting finding a hobby or craft to do instead of drinking.

Before I started drinking, I used to spend all my spare time oil painting, making stained glass panels, lamps etc, reading and doing crosswords. These were once my means of escapism before alcohol took over. I havn't done any stained glass or oil painting since I had my first son, somehow the things I used to enjoy doing got lost in the responsibility of raising two babies and all the stress that involves. By the time my sons started pre-school I'd almost forgotten who I was and what I enjoyed doing. Suddenly finding that I had a bit of time for myself once again after more than 3 years of nothing but looking after children 24 hours a day came as a shock to the system. Instead of looking at my career options and my hobbies to fill the time I relapsed into alcohol and have been stuck there over the past 3 years steadily getting worse and worse.

When I reflect on this time, I think to myself "What a waste of life". I could have spent this time training at college for a career and have had a decent job by now. Instead I've spent the last 3 years drinking and nursing a hangover nearly every day. I missed the last two years of school through problems at home and so had no qualifications. I spent the next 15 years drifting from one dead end job to another in the meantime I gained 6 G.C.S.Es at nightschool. During this time I dreamed of training for a career but there was always something that stood in the way and then at 31 I had my first son.

Last week I filled in a form for voluntary work and am waiting to hear from them. Not drinking during the week makes my mind clearer and I decided this would be my best option as a starting point back into work. If I can get clear of this alcohol problem once and for all I would still like to go back to college and train in psychology. I have some training in art and design as I completed one year of a 3 year course at college but dropped out because I just couldn't stand some of the arty farty people there. I have always been interested in art therapy and dream of becoming a teacher in this. First, I need to find a job to fund this. I'm probably dreaming well above reality but then it's nice to have a dream.

Apart from my boys who I absolutely adore there is nothing happening in my life. My day consists of getting up at 7.30am, getting my sons ready and taking them to school and then spending the rest of the day doing boring chores in the house and watching mind-numbing day-time TV. At 3.00pm, I pick my sons up, we do some reading, my other half gets home from work, we have tea and a couple of hours later it's my boys bedtime. The rest of the night is spent watching more mind-numbing TV if I'm not drinking. My next plan of action is replacing this mind-numbing TV with my hobbies I mentioned earlier.

Well as for today, I just want to drink. I'm adjusting to not drinking from Sunday till Friday night for now and hopefully I will eventually phrase out this weekend drinking too.

January 18th, 2008, 07:05 AM
Welcome, Marden. So glad to read your story. There are a lot of identical issues between us. I used to weave, knit, needlepoint, quilt, read, etc., That all went down the tubes when the vodka too over. I don't have children, but spent the last so many years taking care of a sick mother and a father with alheimzers. Now that they have passed away, I don't know who I am, don't know what happiness is and don't know how to get it. It's been painful. But it sounds like you have great strength.

Stay with us, please. Read and post. You'll meet some wonderful people who can really help with their enthusiasm, experience,support and love.

Good luck with the job. I hope you hear soon!

Suki xxxx

betty boop
January 18th, 2008, 07:43 AM
Mardan, I'm glad that you are rediscovering yourself, sounds like you have a plan, good luck with the job!!!

I really do admire your honesty about your drinking, and :goodjob: on the weekdays AF, that is fabulous ....

January 18th, 2008, 08:04 AM
Hi Marden, and welcome. You have managed to stop the alcohol during the week and
will soon manage the weekends. I read an article in the paper yesterday, by a woman
who stopped drinking completely, she managed by cutting down first in the week and
then completely. She did it by replacing vodka for wine/beer and then stopped completely.
I don't think I could do it gradually, but you sound like you can, so maybe you could replace
the vodka for something less potent.
Best of luck.

January 18th, 2008, 08:22 AM
Mardan, Why don't you paint this weekend? I wish I could, but I don't have a creative bone in my body. The best I can do is paint walls. :)

January 18th, 2008, 08:42 AM

Not drinking during the week is a huge accomplishment. You really should be proud. Just have a plan in place so that this weekend doesn't slip into Monday and then so on.

I remember when I was working on my "issue" before and managed to cut out the weekday drinking. I was so thrilled, but then found that I was drinking more than I ever thought possible on the weekend. But, being sober during the week makes you find strength to do it during the weekend.

You have come so far. I know you can do this.


January 18th, 2008, 08:46 AM

Everyone is different and when is comes to abstaining everyone does so using different approach. I don't think there is a one that suits all.

Well done on abstaining during the week and even on the voluntary work.

I would just suggest that if you fancy a drink over the weekends then try to alternate your drinks with soft drinks or some non-alcoholic wine/beer in between. My problem is when I do drink I make my drinks very strong and knock them back as if someone is about to snatch them out of my hand. Pace yourself and maybe cut down slowly.

Mandy x

meditation mama
January 18th, 2008, 09:36 AM
Hi Mardan!

I agree.. Not drinking during the week is a great accomplishment! Not only have you stopped drinking during the week, you have started to blossom... really. Those seeds are starting to come back up through the soil. Your thoughts are changing, your actions are changing, YOU ARE CHANGING. Keep going, sweetie. Don't give up, the rest will come. Stay here, keep writing, and keep fighting.

You are a lovely woman. I am proud to know you...