Hi Everyone.
I've been a heavy drinker for the past 13 years or so... I'm now 31 and ready to change. I started binge drinking at 17. HEAVY drinking on the weekends with my friends, etc.. ALWAYS to excess. I rarely drink every night NOW BUT did at one time (see ex marraige below). When I do drink It's frightening how many wine spritzers I can put away. Sadly, I have been drinking in some way, shape, or form since before I was even old enough or experienced enough to KNOW who I was so how will I recognize myself without the sauce??? I'm terrified that I won't be able to function socially without alcohol. Not that I socialize all that much anymore anyway... Cuts into my weekend drinking time... Can't drink that much around people that wouldn't understand. Gotta keep up appearances. LOL. As I'm writing this, I'm noticing how retarded that sounds. Funny, how rational some of these things sound in your head.
I grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive step father and was molested by 2 DIFFERENT neighbors at a very young age. The first neighbor was a female and I was only 6 years old. The 2nd was male and I was 11. I imagine I started drinking to dull the pain caused by these traumatic events. I was also painfully shy & awkward growing up and I found that alcohol helped me to become BOLD... the "it" girl... At least in my own mind LOL. I shudder to think what I REALLY looked like staggering around acting like an ass-hat.
I maried the first man to pay attention to me, my highschool sweetheart, when I was 22 y/o and he turned out to be a not so nice RAGING alcoholic. Actually, he and I started binge drinking TOGETHER at 17. His weekend drinking turned into nightly drinking. I slowly followed his example. After all, If you can't beat 'em Join 'em. We were together for 8 years, married for a hellish 4 most of which were spent indulging in nightly drink-athons and fighting. Separated and divorced 5 years ago... Water under the brindge. Got rid of the douche bag ex but not the juice.... I have since met and married the man of my dreams. Handsome, sexy, sweet as hell, supportive. My prince charming. We bought a beautiful home toghether approx 1 year ago.... This man absolutely ADORES me so WHY AM I STILL DRINKING? It's ridiculous. I have everything I've EVER dreamed of. Yet ,I still feel the need to drink. I would say my alcohol cravings are more due to HABIT, boredom and lonliness... prince charming works alot to pay for the beautiful home
Amazingly enough, prince charming has only mentioned my drinking on ONE occassion after a pretty bad WEEK DAY bender which is not very common for me. He voiced his concern. I acknowledged said concern and continued on my merry way. He RARELY sees me drunk because he's typically sleeping by the time I stumble to bed on the weekends. The few times he HAS seen me drunk (not just tipsy) I can SEE the concern in his eyes.
I'm very glad to have found this site because I recognized that I had a drinking problem many years ago (probably around the time I ditched the ex) BUT always felt like I would eventually grow out of it... Ahhhhh, the naitivity of youth. By the time I recognized that growing out of it didn't seem likely, I realized that AA was not for me. I'm a very private person as I imagine most problem drinkers are and am not fond of the emphasis AA places on religion. Feels good to know that I'm not the only one struggling. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. This having been said, I typically have no problem going 4 days without drinks. Thursday nights and Weekends seem to be my downfall.... I imagine since that's the time that I've ALWAYS boozed it up and HEAVILY at that. I can't even begin to think of other things to do on Fri & Sat nights... Sad really.
Anyway, I just wanted to say Hi and introduce myself. Have a pleasant evening all!
:new:
I've been a heavy drinker for the past 13 years or so... I'm now 31 and ready to change. I started binge drinking at 17. HEAVY drinking on the weekends with my friends, etc.. ALWAYS to excess. I rarely drink every night NOW BUT did at one time (see ex marraige below). When I do drink It's frightening how many wine spritzers I can put away. Sadly, I have been drinking in some way, shape, or form since before I was even old enough or experienced enough to KNOW who I was so how will I recognize myself without the sauce??? I'm terrified that I won't be able to function socially without alcohol. Not that I socialize all that much anymore anyway... Cuts into my weekend drinking time... Can't drink that much around people that wouldn't understand. Gotta keep up appearances. LOL. As I'm writing this, I'm noticing how retarded that sounds. Funny, how rational some of these things sound in your head.
I grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive step father and was molested by 2 DIFFERENT neighbors at a very young age. The first neighbor was a female and I was only 6 years old. The 2nd was male and I was 11. I imagine I started drinking to dull the pain caused by these traumatic events. I was also painfully shy & awkward growing up and I found that alcohol helped me to become BOLD... the "it" girl... At least in my own mind LOL. I shudder to think what I REALLY looked like staggering around acting like an ass-hat.
I maried the first man to pay attention to me, my highschool sweetheart, when I was 22 y/o and he turned out to be a not so nice RAGING alcoholic. Actually, he and I started binge drinking TOGETHER at 17. His weekend drinking turned into nightly drinking. I slowly followed his example. After all, If you can't beat 'em Join 'em. We were together for 8 years, married for a hellish 4 most of which were spent indulging in nightly drink-athons and fighting. Separated and divorced 5 years ago... Water under the brindge. Got rid of the douche bag ex but not the juice.... I have since met and married the man of my dreams. Handsome, sexy, sweet as hell, supportive. My prince charming. We bought a beautiful home toghether approx 1 year ago.... This man absolutely ADORES me so WHY AM I STILL DRINKING? It's ridiculous. I have everything I've EVER dreamed of. Yet ,I still feel the need to drink. I would say my alcohol cravings are more due to HABIT, boredom and lonliness... prince charming works alot to pay for the beautiful home
Amazingly enough, prince charming has only mentioned my drinking on ONE occassion after a pretty bad WEEK DAY bender which is not very common for me. He voiced his concern. I acknowledged said concern and continued on my merry way. He RARELY sees me drunk because he's typically sleeping by the time I stumble to bed on the weekends. The few times he HAS seen me drunk (not just tipsy) I can SEE the concern in his eyes. I'm very glad to have found this site because I recognized that I had a drinking problem many years ago (probably around the time I ditched the ex) BUT always felt like I would eventually grow out of it... Ahhhhh, the naitivity of youth. By the time I recognized that growing out of it didn't seem likely, I realized that AA was not for me. I'm a very private person as I imagine most problem drinkers are and am not fond of the emphasis AA places on religion. Feels good to know that I'm not the only one struggling. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. This having been said, I typically have no problem going 4 days without drinks. Thursday nights and Weekends seem to be my downfall.... I imagine since that's the time that I've ALWAYS boozed it up and HEAVILY at that. I can't even begin to think of other things to do on Fri & Sat nights... Sad really.
Anyway, I just wanted to say Hi and introduce myself. Have a pleasant evening all!
:new:
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