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    How to write

    Just in case you need a little help...

    1 Always avoid alliteration.
    2 Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
    3 Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
    4 Employ the vernacular.
    5 Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
    6 Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
    7 It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
    8 Contractions aren't necessary.
    9 Foreign words and phrases aren't apropos. Even if they are Lingua Franca.
    10 One should never generalize.
    11 Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate
    quotations, tell me what you know."
    12 Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
    13 Don't be redundant or overly verbose. Don't use more words than
    necessary, it's highly superfluous.
    14 Be more or less specific.
    15 Understatement is always best.
    16 One word sentences? Eliminate!
    17 Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
    18 The passive voice is to be avoided.
    19 Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialism.
    20 Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. Track them down
    until the cows turn blue in the face.
    21 Who needs rhetorical questions?
    22 Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

    #2
    How to write

    This is absolutely hysterical!.

    Thanks.

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      #3
      How to write

      OMG I am an English major -read word freak--and I adore the word "verbose"--subj. "verbosity."

      It is a flu-like virus loose in Washington, D.C.. . . . no cure has yet been found . . . .flee the area immediately . . . .

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        #4
        How to write

        This is a billion times funnier than anything I've ever read, and I never exaggerate, know what I mean?

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          #5
          How to write

          Love it, ESP #14!
          Alcoholic (or Ally)

          "Only a fool knows everything.
          A wise man knows how little he knows."

          Please feel free to block/ignore my posts through your control panel.

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