View Full Version : How to write

May 4th, 2006, 06:55 AM
Just in case you need a little help...

1 Always avoid alliteration.
2 Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3 Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4 Employ the vernacular.
5 Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6 Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7 It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8 Contractions aren't necessary.
9 Foreign words and phrases aren't apropos. Even if they are Lingua Franca.
10 One should never generalize.
11 Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate
quotations, tell me what you know."
12 Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13 Don't be redundant or overly verbose. Don't use more words than
necessary, it's highly superfluous.
14 Be more or less specific.
15 Understatement is always best.
16 One word sentences? Eliminate!
17 Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18 The passive voice is to be avoided.
19 Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialism.
20 Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. Track them down
until the cows turn blue in the face.
21 Who needs rhetorical questions?
22 Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

May 4th, 2006, 05:04 PM
This is absolutely hysterical!.


May 8th, 2006, 09:54 PM
OMG I am an English major -read word freak--and I adore the word "verbose"--subj. "verbosity."

It is a flu-like virus loose in Washington, D.C.. . . . no cure has yet been found . . . .flee the area immediately . . . .

May 9th, 2006, 08:54 PM
This is a billion times funnier than anything I've ever read, and I never exaggerate, know what I mean?

October 28th, 2012, 11:42 PM
Love it, ESP #14!