View Full Version : Something to offend everyone!

April 21st, 2006, 08:57 PM
What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it!

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not gettin any!

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the diff. between a boyfriend & a husband?
45 min.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife. (I think a 45 cal might be quicker)

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

What's the diff. between a new husband & a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same thing that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What's the diff. between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

How do you get a sweet little 98 yr old lady to say the F- word?
Get another sweet little ol gal to yell "Bingo!"

Hope I didn't leave anyone out!! Ha!... Happy Friday everybody!...Hugs, Judie

April 22nd, 2006, 08:50 PM
Good laugh Judie! I needed one today!:rollin

Saint Jude
November 5th, 2007, 03:16 AM
Bump again..
OK I gotta admit.
I'm looking in the archives for that old hilarious one about the woman who tried to speed up the "bikini waxing process" with a blow dryer...
She ended up calling a friend while being stuck to the bottom of her tub...
Does this ring a bell with anyone?;) :H
I swear it wasn't me!
But I do remember it was way back... in Laughing out loud... and funnier than sh*t!

betty boop
November 5th, 2007, 04:57 AM
I know the one jude .... I will have a look ....

November 5th, 2007, 03:51 PM
I dont think you offended goldfish??...But you got everyone else....Excellent:) .

November 5th, 2007, 04:14 PM
Number 3 on that list I didn't find funny Jude!!!!

November 5th, 2007, 04:23 PM
Oh Hippie, stop whining and go out already.