Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

I'm back from the party & happy to say that I did not drink. The drinks table was loaded w/goodies, but I stuck to soda & am glad that I did. If I had indulged, the whole night would have been obssessing:
-When can I have my next drink?
-How can I make it a stiff one wo/anyone noticing?
-How many can I have & still drive home?
-etc. etc. etc.
Instead, I followed the conversation,spoke coherently, & remember the whole evening. All the guests were normal drinkers, & there's no way I could have followed suit.

tkeene: How's my partner doing? I hope well. We're halfway through the weekend, & that's generally my biggest challenge...how about you? Take care of your sobriety, & I'll check back later.

Mary

[Theme2be]

Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

That is fantastic, Mary!

Are you doing the supps or Meds? I completely related to your forcast of what "if" you would have drank, esp, the part about making the drink strong.

Good for you,
Encouraging for me,

Karen

[cassy]

Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

Hi Mary

Fantastic that you did the party sober.I started a thread yesterday about going AF for Lent.
Hope i get the grace and courage to accept that life over the next 6 weeks will be different .
Ash Wedesday for me kicks of with that Ancient and public sign of my intention to embrace self denial.

I still hope to return to moderating again at Easter time as not oarrived at the point of wanting to pack up all together YET!

Hope to walk the journey with people on here!

I,ve started planning what to do in my "danger zone" ..the evenings after 8...some early nights might be a good thing too.

Glad to hear you are on track....it inspires me to have a go at self denial...hope I dont hit the chocs to replace one habit with another!!

Regards Cassy

[The Londoner]

Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

Hi Mary, Karen and Cassy!

Hope your Sunday is off to a good start. I am hibernating at the moment, only went out once since Thurs for the essentials and am eating myself out of fridge and larder! I suppose in its way, it is my preparation for Lent, when I intend to simplify my life, purify it I suppose, yet also eat well,reflect on and enrich my life and reach out to others in any way I can.

I started early and have not been drinking since Monday. Pre-Lenten preparations, so it's not such a shock to the system!

Oh and by the way Cassy, I have been indulging in Dark Chocolate with raspberries-well it was in the fridge, crying out to be used up! If you need choccy to keep off the booze, I'd buy it!

Mary, I so admire you at that party, it's hard to do but oh so worth it!


:h Anna:h

[slightlysuze]

Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

Anna....great to see you around again....I've missed you :h Food Sister :h !!

I've done a tiny bit of moderating but am really aware that it needs careful control, so maybe a Lenten AF would be good!

Happy Sunday to everyone here!


Suze x

[Finding My Self]

Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

Hello - just popping in to say Hi! And well done Mary! And good luck Cassy for Lent. And Hi Karen, Anna and Suze...!

Anna - you are amazing! Isn't it funny how different we all are! If I were to be in the house just for a day I would go mad! Been like it since childhood...sort of lose touch with (my!!) reality - need to know the world hasn't disappeared and abandonded me! (There is no way on earth I could watch those films about being the last person left on earth after a disaster!!)

But I am glad you are enjoying it - good on you!!!

Me - just going on with the strange realisation that I work so hard being 'positive' about things and feel so joyful most of the time but still the needs and wants go on in the background in my 'denial field' and I have to watch them as they can creep up on me - not to make me drink but to trip me up anyways! You see, I am just fine and lucky and healthy and got food on my table and, and, and...(and I am!)...but I am lonely, want touch - need touch and to touch, to be loved and to love another, family, community, purpose and direction......

Anyways - hope the 'Brits' aren't getting as blown away by the gales as we are down here and that everyone else's Sunday is lovely and either restful or energetic - whichever you would like it to be!

Thanks for letting me be a bit 'bluh'....

Now for a

FMS xx:h

[meditation mama]

Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

Good Sunday Morning!

Mary - A very hearty "good on you, girl" for getting through that party! I knew you were going to be fine, though. You have so much inner strength and insight. I hope you see what we see... I absolutely understand what you mean about - after that first drink.. Oh, do I!! I remember my last company party in December. It was horrible. I did you list and much, much more. My only saving grace was that everyone else had been drinking loads, but I really was bad that night. I was scheming all night. I was absolutely obsessed and preoccupied with alcohol, not the party. I don't even remember talking to people, not because I was drunk, because I was preoccupied. It was ugly, a lot of things were just ugly.

Mel - Sent you a PM...

Cassy - good luck with you journey, too! Sounds like you plan to be AF between now and Easter? .. Let us know what we can do to help!

Anna - It's is really good to have you back. Your posts always inspire me. I love the way you so eloquently write. Congrats on your week-free! I think I stayed in for the first two weeks, ate and slept. I felt safe. It was a really good healing time for me. Thank you for being here.

Suze - Happy to see your dancing chocolate self today! It never ceases to crack me up! How are you these days? You said you have been moderating? How is that going? It is amazing - I had wished for so many years I could do that. I think I'm finally at a point where I can say - I am so happy for someone like you and don't get that cringe, or want to say - I wish I could. I don't wish that anymore. That's just not for me. It didn't work (but I gave it the 'ol college try - hundreds of times)... Good for you!

Finding - You are the sweetest thing on this planet, I think. My heart swells evertime I read your posts. You are a very positive person, for sure! I think it is OK to want those things, and to acknowlege them - you have to put it out there. The Universe doesn't know unless you ask. You have to ask with all the gusto you can muster.. it's OK.. write down what you want - don't hold back. Make a list and pin it up in your bathroom! Trust it...

tkeene - Oh, darlin' - that took more courage than most people could know, well except for us. We have all been there and all had to come back and talk about it. Or at least if we want to heal we HAVE to. You are healing. Each time you drink and come back it is a step closer. Not to say you should keep drinking, of course. But if you do, you keep coming. That puts a chink in AL's armour and makes you stronger. The other thing you must keep in mind is that you cannot think of that person as an evil twin - it is you and you cannot kill you. You cannot tune this out, or push it into the darkness - it will be hiding. You have to bring it into the open - into the light where it has to squint to see.. it need to see that it is not good. That there is good, that you are good and worth more. It is alcohol. It is something you do, not something you are. It takes a lot to get it out of you, but it can be done. You can do this.. I know you can...

Well, I have to head back to the spa.. Had a little hiccup with the celeb group yesterday and we need to get some in today.. but I only have to work for a few hours. They are really fun, so I don't mind..

Have a wonderful Sunday and do something really nice for yourselves...

Namaste,

MM

[retteacher]

Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

tkeene: Of course you're still my partner! For Feb. & for however long it takes. You know the amount of times I've slipped. The important thing is that you came here & 'fessed up & are back at it again. We are not drinking today. No matter what! I won't drink even if my ass falls off (as the AA's say)!

We're having a small superbowl party tonight, & people are bringing beer (no big temptation for me), & I'll instruct them to bring it back home when they leave.

tk: I'm not much for kicking butt...even as a teacher, I was somewhat of a softie. However, I can only say that MM's suggestion is a good one. When the alcoholic voice speaks, try to counteract w/an argument or see why it popped in. I know those urges that just come on out of the blue. As you know, I gave in to one after many, many AF days. I thought I was immune. Instead of speaking back to the voice, I poured myself something to drink. For me, (especially in the beginning) it's helpful not to have any alcohol in the house. However, I know your husband is a drinker & might balk at that idea. Perhaps you can come up w/something. Anyhow, think of today as your start. I know how much you want sobriety, & you'll have it. Start today. If there's anything else I can do or say, let me know. Mary

PS: Cindi, hope you doing OK. Adrienne is in God's hands & is being taken care of.

[YoungAtHeart]

Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

Hi Everyone,

It's so good to "see" some new faces around here. I sure hope you will all be hanging around here for a while, through thick and thin.

Mary, I can relate to all of your points about being at a party with normal drinkers. Many of my friends are heavy drinkers too, so we would ALL be eying the bottle to make sure we all got our "fair share". How pathetic is that? An old friend of mine wrote to "congratulate" me for staying on the wagon, and he said that he should give up his two beers a night. I had to write back and tell him that I would be THRILLED if I could have two glasses of wine a night! At any rate, I'm so happy that you made it through with flying colors.

Hi Karen and :welcome: to the group. Let us all know how we can help you!

Cassy, maybe it would help if you try not to think of going AF as self-denial (hard, I know). I have friends who have transformed the concept of Lent into trying to do good and positive things for themselves and others, and maybe it would be helpful to look at going AF in that way, too. It's a period of time where you are trying on a new lifestyle to see how you like it.

Anna, sounds like you are off to a great start.

Suze, it's good to see you here. I'm completely behind you if you want to try an AF Lent.

FMS, I think that I am more like you than I want to admit. I am also generally positive and outgoing, etc., but deep down inside there's a little voice that is talking about all the wants and needs that you talk about in your teeny little print. I am truly happy that I have learned to be more emotionally independent, but sometimes I wonder if I have learned a little too well??

tkeene, on a somewhat different slant from what MM says, your "evil twin" is a part of you that you will have to learn to love and embrace if you are ever to get clear of AL. We all have that part in us that wants to escape rather than deal, or party instead of grow up, etc. Letting go of AL means coming to terms with parts of ourself that we might not want to look at, but with it comes an amazing freedom. You might not understand right away what triggered you. You won't learn if you just get down on yourself though.

MM, I hope you had a good day, with time to rest and enjoy as well as work. It's always fun when work is a bit like play.

Anyway, I'm off to a superbowl party myself, so I will go armed with AF wine. I think I am feeling some temptation to drink somewhere inside of me, even though it is not really conscious. I think I will bring it up in therapy on Tuesday. My therapist will like that. She is afraid that this has been too easy for me, so I must be hiding something.:H

Hugs to all,:l
Kathy

[juli86]

Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

Young at Heart...this sentence in your post jumped right out at me:

I am truly happy that I have learned to be more emotionally independent, but sometimes I wonder if I have learned a little too well??

You're the first person I've come across to express exactly what I feel. I'd love to talk to you about this sometime.

[livingfree]

Sun. - Feb. 3 - Daily Thread

Sunday Evening

Hello all - well - I made it through the quick trip to my parents house. It turned out to be quite a fine time. My hubbie and I had another great talk on the way. (This seems to be happening more and more - which is odd ....) And the dinner affair went great! I was the only one not drinking - which at first was a little uncomfortable, but as I sipped my soda and lime (I made the bartender make it over - because he put it in a large water glass .... I thought it looked un appealing so had him make it look like a gin n tonic .... which I would have never drank in my drinking days I might add .... but I wanted to feel like part of the Party! ... I am so silly). Any how ... It turned out to be a splended trip! I might just find I like this new life after all!! The big test is this next weekend. We are spending the weekend with friends who love to party. It will just be the 4 of us. I'm not ready to start sharing yet - so what do you all suggest ??

I love reading all of your posts and feel like it's easier to get to know people on this site, than it is right in my own neighborhood. Odd. To all of you - tomorrow is a new day to say :no: to that X Al. Don't let him in the door - call the MWO cops if you have to but DON"T believe a thing he whispers in your ear. He's a lier. There is no truth in him. He come to destroy and kill.

Hugs to you all,
liv