View Full Version : Growing Old

March 4th, 2006, 05:45 PM
The elderly couple are sitting in church.

The wife leans across to her husband and says "I've just done a silent fart. What should I do?"

The husband replies "Change the batteries in your hearing aid!"

(Well, someone had to start the fart jokes.)

March 4th, 2006, 08:20 PM
Old Folks

Ok , So there's this Old man & Old woman sitting on the porch, rocking,watching the sun go down. All of a sudden the woman gets up, goes over,and smacks the ol man in the head. Then, goes & sits back down. They sit there, rocking... after a while the ol guy says ''Hey, What'd ya do that for?"
She says, "That was for 50 years of bad sex!" They sit there rockin away for a bit...
All of a sudden the ol guy gets up, goes over, & smacks her in the head. Then goes & sits back down...they continue with their rocking... a few minutes later she asks, "What the hell did you do that for?"
He says, "That's for knowing the differance!"

PS This part is true...My Grandma divorced my Grandpa after 54 yrs... and got re-married. She was a newlywed in her 70's! Never too late to find true love!
She's now 98, will be 99 in May, she still looks great.... she sure misses "her Dale"(my Step Grandpa), she's outlived both Hubbies. And you guessed it, she's quite a character!

March 4th, 2006, 10:56 PM
Re: Old Folks


There's a different old man and old lady at the doctor's. The old man has had health problems and he's also deaf. The doctor explains the situation.

"I'll need to run some tests. I need blood samples ..."

"What'd he say, Marge?"
"He needs some blood"

"....... and I also require some urine samples ......."

"What'd he say, Marge?
"Shut up, Harry, just wait a minute, let me listen to the doc!"

" ....... and to be absolutely certain, we'll also need to examine some fecal matter ......

"What'd he say, Marge?"
"Never mind. Just give him your underpants."

OK. I'm biding time. 1 hr and 55mins before I can have a drink.