View Full Version : Hi I'm a Newbie

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March 2nd, 2006, 07:25 AM
I'm just preparing to start out. Is this working for you guys? I so need it to.
Some encouragement would be welcomed.>d

March 2nd, 2006, 08:13 AM
Welcome P...

You have found a great bunch of people here. I have been posting on this site since Feb 14th...I have read the book, taking some supps, and have decided to go Topa free.

You also have found us in the middle(well...not quite the middle, huh girls?)
of March Madness. Some of us are trying to abstain for a month. Everyone is non judgemental and relates to what a struggle to moderate drinking is.

Please read past posts and you can get a feel for the group and the "approach" Pick up the book, it explains the approach as far as supps, excercise, topa etc...


March 2nd, 2006, 09:35 AM
Hi Pickelili;

Welcome to the board! Everybody here is very supportive of each other..


March 2nd, 2006, 10:11 AM
The program is working great for me! My biggest mistake was not fully jumping in from the beginning. I bet many others would agree. If possible, if you are serious and ready and have read the posts enough to decide that this looks like a program designed for you, DO IT!!.
Order or download the book, make a dr. appt, order or buy the supplements at a health food store (or they are under "companion products"), get the cd's...although that's the one I'm kinda slacking on... and here I am giving advice...uh oh.! ;)
Anyhow, I did all the other stuff. I am doing the topamax. I'm currently on day 14. I have had a total of 6 drinks in 14 days. I used to drink an average of probably a bottle of wine or more a day!! That would be...14 x 5 drinks per btl...70 drinks!!!
HOLY CRAP!!!!!! OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS!!! What a lush!!!
70 drinks!!! Whoa!!! I just freaked my self out.
No bloody wonder I have lost 5 pounds in 2 weeks.
OK, I'm Ok. a hem
to answer your question, the program works. i feel sheepish
luv, becca

March 2nd, 2006, 10:23 AM
Yes this program works. But just like anything, you have to be committed to working it. I would recommend getting the book and following as closely as possible. All aspects of the program are designed to work together, however, many people on the board have had success using parts of the book tailored to their needs. Best of luck to you in your journey.

March 2nd, 2006, 10:24 AM
That's 14,000 calories
Maybe more!!
I have some very BIIIGGG wine glasses.
Ok, I gotta go to work
Have a great, sober day 2, everyone!!!

March 2nd, 2006, 10:41 AM
Becca's calorie count...

Oh Becca...that is so funny (well you know what I mean...)!

I don't even want to add up all the calories in all the beers that I was drinking...uggh! I think I was even lying to myself how many I could actually put away in a day!
Happy Sober Thusday (day 2) All,
Love, Tammie

PS: -- Welcome, this is a great program and it does work but you have to work it also and put the effort and will into it! What helps so much is this site with all of the wonderful friends on here!

March 2nd, 2006, 03:49 PM
I am scared, and I am new!

Hi everyone. I just wanted to let you know I found this website this morning and I have been reading tons of threads today. I have cried and I have laughed! That tampon box hiding is hysterical- HOWEVER doesnt beat one of my old hiding spaces--- which I will tell later, LOL!

I have wanted to admit my alcoholism to 'someone'- ANYONE- and I feel that after reading today about your group, I am ready to start the process of taking control of my life and my behavior. I need to work on getting healthy!

I have never spoken to anyone about this before. I am scared. I am going to continue to read here. Thank you!

March 2nd, 2006, 07:12 PM
I just found this today too

Looking forward to a new beginning.

Sorry I missed March madness, I would have enjoyed the support

March 2nd, 2006, 07:15 PM
Re: I just found this today too

Missed it? It's only March 2nd. It's never too late! You can still get a good solid 30 days behind you. Welcome to the board! Gina

March 2nd, 2006, 07:19 PM
Re: I just found this today too

My Way Out has not deadlines, no "strict"set of rules. Join things as you feel is right for you. We will let you join march madness in July, if you like!! It's all about the support. We're just trying to string a bunch of days of sobriety together, and doing it as a group is enormously helpful. Join in if you are ready! We'd love to have ya!

March 2nd, 2006, 08:11 PM

I have enjoyed reading all day- I am leaving work now and I am headed home to where I would normally uncork 2 bottles of wine- puts me to sleep- to start this thing called life tomorrow morning! I am going to log on tonight instead of doing that. I think today has to be my first day of not drinking! I am 32 years old and I have been drinking since I was about 14. The past 3 years I have not missed a day of drinking....not one day! This is a God send website for me. I found it after asking the Lord above to help me!

March 2nd, 2006, 08:23 PM
Re: Hi

Hi all and welcome,

Just start reading and posting...joinging in where ever and when ever you feel comfortable...we are all just a like you each trying to accomplish the same goal!

Hey it's only March 2...dang, just kidding..lol!
They don't call this March Madness for nothing!

March 3rd, 2006, 01:51 AM
Re: Hi


This program works!
I am near the end of week 9 and I have gone

Drinking my around 4-5 drinks many days a week (not all days--- I usually had about 2 days a week where I didnt drink) ...plus a real bender every couple weeks where I really did myself in.
..I was always a "happy drunk" though and every one (usually) loved the cute little drunk girl side of me. Except me, especially the next morning ,...and ....wasnt liking myself at all in general.
I usually drank more than any of my friends and could hold more liquor. I also was starting to do some secret drinking.

Zero to 3 drinks per week. Dont really have much taste for it. Want to stop because I get an uncomfortable buzz afer a few sips, want to slow it down and go to sleep sober that night. Have lost 14 pounds. Have regained my sense of power and clarity of thought. ANd a brighter sense of the future and my control over it. I did not have to admit my problem to a group of cultish strangers and declare myself powerless as in AA. I did it in the privacy of my own lifestyle. I am SO PLEASED WITH THE RESULTS.

Before starting MWO, I tried alot of things to "cut back" or quit, I was so sincere and sometimes desperate to stop the insanity and change. But everything else I have ever tried failed within a month. MWO was the ONLY thing I have tried that has worked. ALL the ingredients of this program are key ingredients! I believe one must do ALL of them , from the very beginning. Do not leave out anything if possible! At least that is what has worked for me.

Not only was I worried about the very detrimental long term effects of alcohol on the brain and the liver and causing cancer etc etc,... but there was this overall sense of just being STUCK... Of not living optimally, of going round and round. and not living up to my potential.

20-25 drinks per week is NOT moderation. And my key life memories were more and more and more being recorded as "drunk" memories. It was getting so OLD! and what if I wound up doing something really reckless under the influence and getting myself in to some real irreversible trouble?

This program has worked for me from the day I started it, and it has been alittle scary and alittle expensive and taken some effort, but WAY easier than just quitting on ones own. A so very very worth it. Best of luck.

March 3rd, 2006, 12:51 PM
Re: Hi

Pickelili & 2Drunk42Long,

Welcome to the board, I have been a member since September. This program has literliary saved my life. I was drinking every night to the point of blacking out. I would go to different liquor stores because I didn't want them to know I was an alcoholic. Like others I would hide my booze, refill the bottle so that my husband wouldn't think I was drinking as much as I was...ect. Now taking 225 mg of Topamax and Kudzu I can controll my drinking along with the support of this board. You also will be suprised what can be accompolished. I know this because....I thought I was hopeless and I'M not!

March 4th, 2006, 01:56 AM
Pickelili & 2Drunk42Long,

Pickelili & 2Drunk42Long,

Hi guys, So glad you've decided to take this important step with us. Like Gina said, it's NOT too late to join us now! Our minds play tricks on us all the time by telling us things like 'now isn't a good time to quit because a: b: c:'
You are here because you are willing to make a change in your life. We here in this group are far from perfect, but we are finding the joy in every sober day we experience. And when one of us falls, there are twenty others there to pick us up, dust us off, and remind us why we came here in the first place.


March 4th, 2006, 11:03 AM
I found this website a couple of days ago and it's now all I can think about (that and wanting a drink!) I really want this but am absolutely petrified. I've been drinking since I was about 13 , am now 29 (and a half...lol) and in serious need of stopping. I need to get back some control over my life. I've always felt so alone even in company and it's only now that I've read some of your entries on here that I've realised that I'm not the only person in the world to have this 'secret' life. I truly hope that I will find support from like minded people on here and also give support to others when they're feeling weak or vunerable. Good luck everyone who's trying to get through each day sober. One question though, how long does it take for your sleep pattern to become regular? On the odd night that I don't have a drink I'm lucky to get 3hrs and with 2 children under 6, the next day is a killer which just makes me want a drink! Any suggestions?

P.S. Have ordered my copy of the book, just waiting for the postie to deliver!

March 4th, 2006, 11:18 AM
Hey, Im Tracey,
Its good that you found this site... Im 21 and am addicted to alcohol but since ive been loggin on, everyday gets a little better... there is nothing but wonderful people here that are more than willing to help... so your definitly not alone. ask any of us any questions... this is like a family to me and i have gotten nothing but support from day 1.

Best of luck and God Bless.

Tracey x

March 4th, 2006, 11:25 AM
Hi Lush...

You will be sleeping like a baby in no time! Actually better than your babies, lol...know idea why they say that cause we all know babies never sleep! Anyway back to sleeping...if you go without any supps it takes about 3-4 days for the booze to get out of your systems. IE: night sweats, can't sleep....

The supps in the book..you can also find them listed in Dr Garcia forum posted under "Please post info on meds and supps in one spot..." and or you can purchase them here on this site as well. They all help with withdrawls and sleep, anxiety. cravings...Good luck to you, this is a great and wonderful spot to get the help you need and deserve! Hope your book arrives soon!



March 4th, 2006, 01:57 PM
Thanks Tammie and Tracey for your replies. I've spent the whole afternoon reading entries on here and I am, frankly, blown away! I never ever thought I'd find people that saw/experienced the world the way I do (well, I suppose for a long time we haven't seen or experienced a lot outside of alcohol or at least nothing that hasn't been effected by it, tainting things!) You are all a breath of fresh air and for the first time in a very long time I'm getting the 'warm, fuzzy feeling' but for completely different but positive reason. WOW! (Sorry, gushing a bit now...lol!) It just feels that I now have somewhere to turn.

Can't wait to receive the book. I've also ordered Topa on-line, didn't realise how expensive it would be. Do you know whether it's available on prescription here in the U.K? I've spoken to my G.P. in the past but I really wasn't taken seriously, the only thing recommended was A.A. and although I didn't call them, I read up and was sent some literature and it really didn't seem my sort of thing (if you know what I mean?!) It seems that here in the U.K. you'll only be offered help if you're on death's door and even then it's reluctantly (maybe I'm just or a cynic, or need to change my G.P!!)

Anyway, am probably boring you now! Just want to say Thank 'God' I've found you all. KEEP STRONG coz through your strength you give me mine x

P.S. could you call me Michelle instead of Lush?!!! Thought it was witty at the time! x

March 5th, 2006, 12:48 AM
Hi Michelle

Nice to meet you Michelle...that does sound so much better than Lush! Doesn't it, lol...

Anyway, once you are on Topa and can show your GP how well you are doing maybe than they will be more inclined to prescribe it (that is what I plan on doing...) mine wouldn't prescribe it either, kept giving me the AA route...blah, blah... I am in the US by the way. There are some others on here from the UK however so maybe they can jump in here and give you there info. However, one I do know had to go the off shore route also..and is waiting for her topa too. It is alittle expensive but if we look at how much we spend a month in booze then I think we come ahead pretty darn quick!

Take Care,

March 5th, 2006, 06:11 AM
Re: Hi Michelle

hi michelle! i'm in the uk too and have had no luck whatsoever in getting any anti craving medication from my doctor! i got the same feeling as you that they'll only prescribe something for alcohol withdrawal in the uk if you're at deaths door! not fair!i saw my doc on thursday and she said "well done for going three days without alcohol,you're over the worst now!" like @#%$! stupid woman!!!so luckily i'd already ordered topa online so i'm waiting for the postman! i'll just do this my way!!! anyway if you wanna chat anytime ez box me! i'm 33 with 4 kids so know how difficult it is regarding sleep etc!: take care jenny

March 5th, 2006, 07:58 AM
Re: Hi Michelle

Thanks Jenny, I've sent you a message in response!

Just out of interest, how do you get into the chat? Am I being a complete twit??? Just comes up with a blank page! Maybe it's my laptop! : Anyone????

March 5th, 2006, 09:03 PM
I'm a Newbie

Thanks so much to all of you for your advice and words of welcome. Like so many of you I have never admitted to anyone that I have a serious drinking problem and it is such a relief to be a part of a group that has so very much in common. That all of us have experienced the same, actions, thoughts, guilt and desperation.

By the way, if you think I'm posting at all hours of the night - I promise it's not because I up drinking - it's just that I'm on the otherside of the world to most of you. I'm a kiwi.

Thanks again - P:

March 6th, 2006, 01:55 AM
I'm so scared, I need to start

I am so scared. My health is going down hill and need this support soooo much. I am so glad that I found this site. I started reading the book and have laughed and cried. I am so afraid to see a doctor for the meds, I am so embarrassed to admit my problem, any thoughts....

March 6th, 2006, 03:42 AM
Hang in there Sami

I'm just new too. Get yourself registered and get on the programe. I've only got the book and tapes so far, supplements and topa on the way. I've been stuck like glue to this site all week - and I reckon this is where you've got your best chance of breaking the habit. Some of these people are so inspirational. We all have faced up to our problem and we each are not just looking at Our Way Out - put we're serious about making it Our Way Out.

Just do it Sami. We're all here to support each other.


March 6th, 2006, 06:55 AM
Re: Fuzzy Vodka head

Another day, another fuzzy head....sigh. I am so bored of this, I don't even enjoy it anymore, wish I could just stop. I am so impressed by all of you that are doing March Madness (will there be an April Abstinence, I'll be in on that one!). Well done, you are an inspiration. Keep it up, I'm rooting for you!

The postman has disappointed me again this morning, no book, no Topa, no supp's, no fair!!

Is anyone worried that they may be replacing one crutch with another (i.e. the med's)? In a few months time when we are all abstaining or moderating will there be a need for a Topa Anonymous site? Lol...just a thought.

Sami, welcome. You are about to meet a lovely, lovely group of people. If it's support you need then you're in the right place. Good luck in your journey.

Please let the postie bring me something other than bills tomorrow.


March 6th, 2006, 10:42 AM
fuzzy vodka head

Hi Michelle
I am based in the UK, and I was able to get most of the supps from Holland & Barrett except the Kudzu which I ordered from www.auravita.com (http://www.auravita.com)., they are based in the UK, and delivery is just a few days. I am taking H & B own brand calms, they seem to work. The All in One you do have to order from abroad, there is a site in the UK you can order the Topamax from, but I haven't taken that as I want to see what happens with supps. Pushchairaddict(Jenny) had the website for that if you look in the other posts, can't remember which one. I am doing OK with the supps I have and the cd's, I am on the March Madness programme and I am on day 6, the longest I have not had a drink in many years. Best of luck. Mary

March 6th, 2006, 11:23 AM
Re: fuzzy vodka head


Hi...I hope Mr. Postman comes to your rescue today and makes you very happy! Sometimes they do take awhile though, it is a bummer....

Anyway, I loved your "Frog.." post today in the Abs section. Couldn't have come at a better time. I wanted you to know how much I greatly appreciate it. I'm still climbing...day 6! I am sure there will be an April Ab's. The trick is to be really, really ready. I had started planning in advance! Plus I have a goal that I want to achieve at the end which helps. Still not easy by any means but the supps and topa help take some of the edge off...I need to be better with the cd's and excersise!

Well, I justed wanted to say Hi and thanks! Good luck with Mr. Postman today..hope he gives you a ring!

Take care,

March 6th, 2006, 11:41 AM
Re: crutches

hey Michelle!
Just wanted to respond to your concern regarding using the supps and meds as a crutch replacing the alcohol. I was worried about the same thing when I started, and still kinda have some concerns about how much this computer is on my lap.... hee hee!
Putting alcohol in your body: Bad
Putting herbs and vitamins in your body to heal and cleanse: Good
Talking yourself into drinking/rationalizing/all that crap we tell ourselves when we open our first drink: BAD
Pounding on this keyboard: BETTER THAN THE ABOVE!!!!
I also figure, that the topa and some of the supplements can be temporary and weaned off, once we have retrained our bodies and minds to think and do differently with the alcohol, whether it be abstain or moderate. At that point, we can take whichever vitamins and/or herbs as appropriate to maintain good health and energy in general and not be constantly warding off the Boozy-Boogyman. I just made that up. See? the supps are making me SMARTER. :rollin
Keep posting!

March 6th, 2006, 10:47 PM
So, I've been reading these messages. I have almost everything lined up. Tomorrow, I'm joining in on March madness.

Wish me luck


March 7th, 2006, 06:14 AM
Re: no fuzzy head!

Good morning everyone!

I woke up this morning minus the fuzzy head! This is because I didn't get drunk last night (yay!). I had some drink in the fridge but everytime I went to get it I kept thinking of you guys doing so well, so thank you very much!

More good news for me is that my Kudzu arrived this morning too, must be a sign! So I've taken my first dose along with some Milk Thistle (that I already had, ironically), I'm just waiting on the Topa and the book, then I'll get the rest of my supp's from Holland and Barretts (thanks for letting me know, Madisonmay)....I guess it starts here!! I'm so excited....is that naive? Probably but it makes me feel good so, hey I'm going to revel in it!

I'm so proud of all of you and so pleased I've found you as before I truly didn't think there was anyway out...now I know better.


P.S. Good Luck Jane, I'll be thinking of you, and everyone else, every step of the way.

P.P.S. BoozyBogeyman, you crack me up Becca:rollin

March 7th, 2006, 06:23 AM
Re: no fuzzy head!

Hi Michelle,

I'm new, just started yesterday in fact. WELL DONE for the lack of fuzzy head today!!! That is fantastic. I bet you feel proud - when was the last time that happened?

I must admit I feel pretty fuzzy, one and a hald bottles of wine last nite - my usual....I have set myself the date of Thursday to start - I am off on holiday for a week and I think that is the best time for me to start. I am ordering everything I need today, but I will have to wait until I return to start for real. I do so hope I can find the will power, I think that is all I need - a couple of hangover free days to get my thougths focussed and I'll be on my way. I am so sick of being like this - it is just so BORING!

By the way, I am also from the UK - one child and work part time. I am thinking about posting on the " what's the worst thing you've ever done..." thread, so watch out for my confession!.:p

Congratulations again and keep going girl!


March 7th, 2006, 01:05 PM

Thanks for your support, Lulu. I've had a good day, had toddler group with my youngest so that took my mind off of things! Managed to get home without stopping at the shop for 'supplies' which is what I usually do, am in for the night now so am safe!! I don't expect I'll get much sleep tonight but hey at least tomorrow I'll wake up bright and breezy (she says hopefully!).

I read your post regarding your special night in the hotel, LOL LOL, laughed my butt off. Think that'll keep me smiling for a while. I'm still trying to think of my most embarrassing moment, the problem is I was probably too drunk to remember it (which is a blessing in disguise!). When I remember I will post it!!

I can't really remember the last time I woke up without the fuzzy head thing. But yes, I am proud of myself today, something I haven't allowed before. If I had a night off before I would start to congratulate myself but then start thinking "don't be so stupid, it was 1 night for God's sake, it's nothing to be proud of". Now I'vefound this site I know it is now.

Take care all, thinking of you

Michelle x

March 7th, 2006, 07:56 PM
Re: lulu

It seems that you all have been talking a bit, but I have a question for you all. I'm just starting this, but really want to make it work. I have the CD's (put them on my ipod and made playlists for each day of the week), got the topomax yesturday, waiting for the supplements to arrive, but have most of them to fill in with in the meantime,... my question is this, what do you tell or don't tell your friends? I'm thinkiing of going with the "just gave up drinking for lent", but don't want to jink myself.

Any thoughts.


March 7th, 2006, 08:15 PM
Not drinking excuse

Hi I just tell people "I am not drinking tonight" usually i can use the excuse that I am the "driver" or saying you have a headache is a good one. People will only ask once if you give them a clear and firm answer "No thanks I am fine". I have already told me close friends and family that i am not drinking for two months and that way they know up front what my plan is.

March 8th, 2006, 05:47 AM
not drinking excuses

mmmm... I have not been going out or socialising for a while now (not really since the incident I refer to on the whats the worst thing... thread). But it's a good question and one that needs to be answered honestly. I think that part of the problem with the way we drink is the excuses we give. If we lie about why we are not drinking, won't it be easier to go back to drinking and no one would be any the wiser.

I think it may be better to just say simply I'm cutting down or quitting because I want to be healthier. I don't know, but what happens when lent is finished, then what do you say? Or are you planning to go back to moderate drinking after that?

I think if you are honest, without going into the gory details, most people would be understanding and supportive. I hope at least, and if they aren't then who needs friends like that?

I am getting my supplements today and plan to start tomorrow - already had this planned as I am going on holiday tomorrow, but when I found this site three days ago I knew it would make my plan ALOT easier!!

best of luck starting!

March 8th, 2006, 07:50 AM

Hi michelle,
I am from the uk in kent and have been away from the board for a while I found mwo book on internet while I was looking up alcoholism I ordered the book and my gp laughed when I mentioned topas and said it was off perscription drugs and no way would I get them so I ordered from medmex on internet cost about ?90 got the all one from sratford which tastes awful but mix it with v8 juice and its not bad got everything accept cd's then I went off the boil and felt I wasnot ready drinkings getting worse I even went to see a rehab place but I haven't got ?2,000 for ten days in there but the man thought I needed to detox.My husband works alot in the evenings so when I have sorted out the kids I steam into the wine and just keep going sometimes at the weekends I start at lunchtime.It's horrible this craving I really want to start the program like everyone has been saying whats it going to be like without alcohol I am quite a quiet person and it's always so I thought given me confidence but maybe it's false.It's just relaxed me all these years but god knows what it's doing to me and sometimes I get all bolshy.be nice to chat with you michelle and anyone else I am going to beat this.

March 8th, 2006, 10:08 AM
Re: newbie

Hi Chadonnay44,

How you doing? This is my third day of moderation, although haven't had anything today (yet) and I am struggling, probably because I've only got this site and the Kudzu supporting me at the mo', (that and the huge row I had with the tax office this morning....bloody useless). I'm STILL waiting for the Topa and the book and have ordered a few other bits.

I was just wondering whether anything in particular happened to make you "come off the boil"? Or was it just that the cravings got too much for you? I have to say that I feel like chewing my arm off today!!

Anyhow, you're back now which is the most important thing and if there is anything I can do to make your way out any easier then just ask (that goes for anyone in here.......unless it's illegal!!)

Have a good day/evening everyone. Well done all the M.M's for working their butts off to try and get through this. Without wanting to sound patronizing....I proud of you and without you all I'd be a dribbling, smelly mess, sprawled on the floor.


March 8th, 2006, 12:22 PM
Hi Iam another UK Newbie

Hi Lush

Great to see someone else here from the UK!!, I also wish to get the drugs over here, I hav'nt been to the quack yet ,as with you last time I tried it was pretty hopeless, they only took me seriously when I was admitted to hospital looking like magre simpson!!(yellow jauncice) I had liver faliure. Stayed on the wagon for over a year so it can be done!!, sadley now drinking again so now I need to start again. Let me no if you have any luck with the drugs or find an on line supply. I feel like my time is running out . Still got to be positive and this great site could be a life saver.


March 8th, 2006, 12:45 PM
Re: Hi Iam another UK Newbie

Hi Whitestar and welcome!

Regarding the med's, I've ordered mine online but can't remember who from. I just did a search and then compared prices (it isn't cheap but then as someone here said to me, when you calculate how much you spend on alcohol it probably at least evens out). However, I think I read on one of the posts that you can get it on inhousepharmacy.co.uk but you'd have to check. I've done so much reading on here over the last week that it's hard to remember who said what and where! Mine is travelling from offshore so I've still got a while to wait yet but am managing the moderation so far....can you hear my nails scraping the edge of the cliff?? lol

It's such a shame that you 're drinking again after a whole year (you must have been proud) but as I've said in an earlier post you are here now and you want to change which is the main thing. It's all about stepping stones in my opinion and you can't get to the other side without the first, second and all consequent steps.

Anyway, keep posting. There is a multitude of help and support here. The more I'm here, the more questions I ask and the more I read, the stronger I become and the more I learn. Good Luck and hope to hear from you soon.


March 8th, 2006, 01:45 PM

welcome whitestar and chardonay, I am a fellow Brit - our numbers seem to be rising daily! (must be something to do with the lousy weather: )

I'm sorry that you have both fallen off the wagon recently, but it is great that you have turned up here, there are many helping hands to get you back on. I found this site a few days ago and have been feeling much better for all the support. I hope you also can get the boost you need to give it a real go.

I have also been trying to get as many of the meds here as I can - not done too well and I think I will go to the inhouse pharmacy website michelle recommended. I'm going to start abstaining tomorrow anyway as was my original plan. I'm hoping to abstain for a month and then try moderation. Starting to feel scared of the enormity of my task, but quitting can't be as bad as how I feel the morning after the night before.

keep in touch and best wishes for a successful MWO.

By the way, well done Michelle on your third day and don't chew that arm off, you might need it one day!

March 8th, 2006, 02:18 PM
Hi, I'm a Newbie too. (1st posting, hope I'm doing this right)
I downloaded the book 2 weeks ago after a really long drunk weekend. Read the book, great book, like reading my life story. I started the program that day, note to anyone else starting, wait until you have supps and CD's. It is really hard to start without. Lots of aches and brain pains. I am working on moderation and I would like to hear from beautifulwreck or anyone else working the program without Topamax. I come from a long line of alternative healthcare folks so RX is not for me. I am doing the supps and CD like I should, and my drinking is way way down, but still having trouble fighting my "drinking queues". My friend said give the CD's more time, but any suggestions would be good?

March 8th, 2006, 06:25 PM

I just sent you an e-mail to your box....
Hope the info helps

March 9th, 2006, 09:24 AM
Hi everyone!

Hope you are all ok. Well, this was my 4th morning of waking up minus the fuzz which I have patted myself on the back for. Yesterday was awful, really, really hard but I went to bed at 9.30 so as to get it over with as quick as possible, slept quite well, dreamed of taking big swigs out of a huge Vodka bottle...lol! Thankfully just a dream.

My Topa AND book arrived this morning so have been walking around with renewed energy today (just what I needed after yesterday...divine intervention??) Am just bursting with motivation and enthusiasm so am sending some to all of you in the hope it rubs off a little.

My mum phoned me last night at 9.30 so was already in bed and the first thing she asked was whether I was sober! Hahaha, had to laugh (to myself of course), kinda says it all. I inwardly glowed as I told her I was.

Another thing, regarding the social outings/being offered a drink thing- I was at a cosmetics party recently when the woman sitting next to me was asked whether she wanted a glass of wine, she replied "No, thanks. If I have one I'll want more so I don't drink." It really stuck in my head as it was direct, frank and said without any stigma and was taken without any comment. Just something I wanted to share!!
(God, I'm a LONG way off from putting myself in a social situation where there's alcohol, think it'll take a while!)

Anyway you lovely people, have a good day and thanks for the support, I couldn't do it without every one of you (well, I might be able to but you know what I mean!)


March 9th, 2006, 10:58 AM
Hi Michelle,

Quite the comment isn't it and at a place you would least expect to hear it! Wow, that is so me, is all I can say. Good for her to except it and to be so open about it. Wouldn't you have loved to have spoken with her about that? This is just such a private and personal issue...

I'm so glad Mr. Postman made you happy today!:lol
Enjoy the book, you will find strenght and see alot of yourself in there I am sure! Plus the topa will take some of the edge off for you I hope...and give you some of the extra will power and strenght that this journey takes!

Have a great day (or evening for you as it maybe..)
All my Best,

ps....start with 25 mg of topa a day for 1 week then go up to 50mg of topa per day...wanted to add that incase you didn't get that far in the book yet!;)

March 9th, 2006, 11:24 AM
Hi there

Hi L

Great to hear from another brit! Have just ordered the book, managed to get it from amazon.co.uk. Have made a doctors app for next Wednesday to see if I can get Topa on script, she already knows my history so fingers crossed otherwise I will order on line. Thanks for the support

March 10th, 2006, 05:20 AM
Hi I'm new

Hi everyone, I'm new and on day 3. Am going cold turkey at the moment. Have not received the book yet and was wondering what are the side effects of the topa? I have seen mention of some when reading the threads. Have also to get the Kudzu. Always find the first week or so not too bad, its when the memory of the hangovers and the feeling of self disgust fades that I fall off the wagon. Thats why I have been leaving that kind of stuff in reserve.

Really enjoy reading about all of you, it has been so helpful.

Good luck


March 10th, 2006, 09:57 PM
Re: Hi I'm new

Hi Rustop:

I started on Topa a week ago today- 25 mg. Really have had no side effects @ all except maybe being tired. Do not know if the tiredness is from the topa or from the Calmes Forte but I can live with it. I went up to 50 mg today and was immediately exhausted. That is still ok with me, as I am getting deep REM sleep @ night which I think I lacked for years. Also, being tired keeps me from a run to the store for wine, which is a really good thing! I have not had any alcohol since starting the topa so don't know if it will make me stop drinking sooner as it has many on the boards. Hope this is helpful info. All the best...

March 11th, 2006, 06:34 AM
Hi, i dont dont know what to say but i think i need help.......... i cant help myself, i drink......... all the time....and i hide it from my friends, i go to work everyday and its not easy but its time to change. i have to do this........cant type right now

March 11th, 2006, 06:56 AM
well you're in the right place! you'll find so much support here,you don't have to post anything yourself if you don't feel up to it,just keep reading and it'll get better,promise! jenny.take care

March 11th, 2006, 09:17 AM
I too am a "newbie" and like many of you have struggled with drinking for years. And, like many of you, am sick and tired of living my life this way. I have tried AA, a treatment Centre and found they do not address my reality. I drink every day and the more beer or the bigger bottle of wine I have at home I know it will be gone the next morning. Being aware of that I would buy fewer beer or smaller bottles actually believing I "was doing something" to curb it. I was actually lying to myself..I would sometimes find an excuse to drive into town and buy more if I didn't get the desired buzz. Or, if I managed to curb it this way for a period ot time, I would then spend the weekend in a drunken fog. Not pretty. I hope in my heart of hearts that this site will (that I will allow it to) help me to create the life I crave.

March 11th, 2006, 10:02 AM
Re: newbie

Hi michelle,
hear I am again glass of wine in hand sat lunch hubby at work feel so fed up with myself the reason I went off the boil was that life gets tough stressful and sometimes boring and I never really took the bull by the horns and thought I'm going to do this sometimes people have to reach rock bottom I know my drinking has got worse and I've done some ridiculous things but I don't know when to say to myself enough is enough like someone said what else do you do until you find pleasure with other things in life like reading walking taking your kids swimming and not thinking I'll get back and have a glass of wine!

Wish this stuff had never been invented.well done for your moderation it's so tough and your doing it without the topa's.
Next week I am going to try the topas and kudzu got to order the cds.:keep up the good work it's good i'm not alone by the way can you call me candice.

March 11th, 2006, 01:12 PM
Re: newbie

Hi Everyone.

Hope you are all ok. Wow, 5 days!! I can't believe it! I have gone from drinking at least 6 pints of Stella (5.2%) or a small bottle of vodka in the evenings, every evening for who knows how many years and that was a quiet night, to just ONE pint per night and that's only out of habit. I don't really enjoy it. I've now just got to work out how to break that habit. Any ideas? I know it's still only early days I'm not getting complacent, I'm just chuffed with myself!

I went to get the last of my supp's today so just waiting for the AllOne now. You really see the world differently when you don't have a hazy hangover head! I've also started having flashbacks to when I wasn't drunk every night and I'm talking years ago, very strange. Just enjoying a cup of tea in the evening, simple pleasures huh!

The side effects of the Topa makes me laugh as I'm even more scatty than when I was drunk! A word of advice for people just starting out-don't put anything down that you might want a few minutes later because you wont remember where you've put it!! Or maybe that's just me. It doesn't effect everyone in the same way! It's made me tired by 9.30 too but I don't mind that one bit, am enjoying getting a good nights sleep, it's been a long time. Also, as RJ says in the book, don't bother telling me your name as I keep getting my daughters names confused with my cats!!!

Well, enough of my babbling. Have a sober weekend.

Luv to you all.


Candice, I'm going to send you a private email shortly. I gotta go cook dinner now though. Hang in there. You don't HAVE to hit rock bottom to want to change x

March 12th, 2006, 07:13 PM
Re: newbie

Hi all, I've been waiting to receive everything so that I can get started. I finally have the vitamins - have read the book - have been listening to the cd's - and took my first 1/2 of a 25 mg. Topo an hour ago. My fingers are already tingling.
I'm excited - and nervous.
I have found the postings on this website so inspirational that I wanted to say thank you in advance. I hope to be as successful as you have.
Any and all advice is greatly appreciated.

March 12th, 2006, 08:18 PM
Hi Jenny,

Thank you so much for your encouraging message, i didnt even know if my cryptic comment got out to anyone... I logged on this morning to find your message...

Yes i will keep reading what others have posted, that is what inspired me to join in the first place.

Im going to speak to a counsellor also, i have self esteem issues as well as drinking issues. I dont even know which order it came in lol, did i have self esteem issues which started me drinking or has the excessive drinking caused the low self esteem, anyway i guess im at the beginning of a long road to recovery and self discovery........

May the force be with you all......Sanya

March 13th, 2006, 11:00 PM
Hi I'm a Newbie

Well. Here goes. I haven't ordered the supplements or the CD's yet, but have read the book and stayed sober for the past 2 weeks.
Is anyone from Canada? Can we get Topomax here? I already know that beer is available - in a rather big way.
Cna't wait to get started. The thought of having one beer after a hard day is heaven. Only one.

March 15th, 2006, 04:18 PM
new to site

I need something, someone to talk with. I can't talk to family. I've always been strong, but the last 10years have been a major tour of my judgement. I can't control myself any longer. I've been in a new relationship for three years, which his drinking doesn't help. I hate my weight gain and I want to be in control again

March 15th, 2006, 07:22 PM
Hi there I am also A newbie and I do not know if I am posting in the right section, but if I am I need some help.. I just stumbled on this website this morning and was blown away I could totally identify with everything. I downloaded the book read it went to my doctor got the topa went to the halth food store got the supps and took my first topa two hours ago and I am having a glass of wine right now...I also just ordered the hypno tapes... How long did most of you have to wait to begin to feel results and is it ok to start with out having the hypno tapes right away??? Any replies would be appreciated...

March 21st, 2006, 04:44 PM


sorry you had to wait so long for a reply...

I have been doing pretty well with the supps and will power alone so far - I intend to get the CDs soon as I believe they will really help. It seems that many (most?) of the people here are using the meds too, but not everyone. People seem to take from the programme what they feel comfortable with - it really is a question of what works for you. For me, it was my time to stop - I think that is why it has so far been relatively easy ( I do get cravings at 5pm though when I used to be buying, or drinking my first bottle of wine.) I am going for complete abstinence for at least a month and then I'll see...

The support you get on the boards is as helpful as any other aspect of the programme.
Keep posting and good luck!


March 22nd, 2006, 07:02 PM
Re: Topa Side Effects

For those who were asking earlier. I definitely do have some of the cognitive ones. I'm at 150 mg/day right now. I have a little more problem typing than usual (dyslexic typos), and some problems with finding words when speaking. One day last week, I almost drove by the entrance to the plant where I have worked for the last 5 years! Fortunately, my husband and I commute together, and he noticed what was happening and stopped me. I have started adding the GABA to my supps routine. I've also noticed that the problems are worse towards the beginning of the week and even out toward the end of the week as my body adapts.

But they haven't been severe enough to impact my work..and I write for a living...

I also feel that if I don't continue to work on my alcohol consumption I won't have a job to worry about!

March 23rd, 2006, 09:55 PM
Hey there.
After reading the book and exploring this site for a while, I just started a week ago on the supps (but for Kudzu its on the way) and Topamax and am very impressed. (I ordered the CD's yesterday) On the very first evening on the topamax I poured a small glass of red wine with my meal. My wife pointed out 2.5 hours later that after getting involved in projects around the house I still hadn't finished that glass. That has never happened to me before, ever. (I am a fairly heavy drinker.) In fact, before I would have almost seen it as my duty to finish that glass with the meal, and then have another, of course.

I do have some side effects from the Topamax, mainly brain fog/slugishness. Exercise helps. It was worst when I started at 25mg the first few days.

I titrated up to 50mg last night, had 2 glasses of wine (hey that's better than my usual 3-5 bourbons) and feel really good this morning, with just slight fog and I haven't even been for my morning run yet.(My doctor is following the Topamax dosing as in the book and the study)

I think the supps are very important. It is working so well at this point (first week ) and I"ll be adding the Kudzu and CD's next week. When I get the Topamax to the optimum dosage, I'll abstain completely for 30 days, and then go from there.

What I notice most after a week is not just reduced cravings but I'm also not preoccupied with the thought of drinking, or when I need to make another run to the store, etc.

Good luck

March 24th, 2006, 05:22 AM
thank you so much for this email

oh god...

i am you as well...

this email is so full of truth...how many of you out there know all of this to be our story as well????

thank you....
thank you ...
thank you...

just this one letter from you has made me feel even more the same as all of us here...

blessings for your poetic honesty...

March 24th, 2006, 09:51 AM
Hey Backpacker.. that's a great post.
I've got more motivation now to hassle for topa..
Thanks & Hugs to you

March 24th, 2006, 11:08 PM


March 27th, 2006, 09:47 PM
Been watching for a while, I'm Ready

I've so enjoyed all of your posts over the last three or so weeks. I've been waiting for enough money to get on board myself. Because I'm so broke I already have a head start on March Madness.

I have to say, I am going to need your support guys. It seems to be a tight knit group and I don't want to invade but I don't really have many places to turn for the love and kidness you are giving each other here.

I look forward to being a part of something as nurturing, fun and honest as My Way Out.

Talk to you soon.


March 27th, 2006, 10:32 PM
I need this

I've tried and failed so any times. Have tried to start moderating. I don't think that will work, but the thought of never drinking again is so hard to imagine. I love my wine, but I do believe it is killing me and starting to interfere with my work and relationships. I did well all weekend, then last night I stopped by a bar on my way home from a weekend workshop as I walked to the subway station. I was just going to have one Irish coffee. I met a lovely couple who were sitting next to me and we had a really nice chat (along with another Irish coffee!)
They left and I just getting ready to go when a very handsome gentleman sat next to me and offered to buy me a drink. Of course I said yes! that led to 2 more glasses of wine and intoxication. I'm lucky I made it home. I feel like @#%$ today and disgusted with myself. I have ordered the book and gotten some of the supplements. Can this really work? I'm desperate.
:( :( :( :(

March 28th, 2006, 11:17 AM
Re: I need this

To everyone on this thread that I just finally read. Welcome and please don't feel like you are invading. This is a great community where everyone who struggles with alcohol is welcome. If you read t hrough old posts you know what a life saver it has been for us and the more people who find it and use it the better.

You would be hard pressed not to find a story or an experience that you can't relate to and you will always get the support that you need.

Keep posting and welcome to the program


March 28th, 2006, 05:24 PM

What a difference a day makes. I feel much better today (no drinking last night, but that's a pattern for me). When I feel crappy, I don't want to drink, so today has been more difficult...thinking about drinking, but now wanting to stay feeling good. It's nice to know that we're all helping each other to face our demons.

April 9th, 2006, 09:06 PM
Hi, I'm starting out right now. I want to be alcohol free, and I want to start now. It has been since I was 14 that I have been binge drinking hard, and I am not in my thirties. I want to stop. Can you help?

No beer

April 10th, 2006, 02:07 AM
Sure, just hang in there and keep reading. Download the book and read that if at all possible.



April 13th, 2006, 01:56 PM
Hi No beer - I agree if you order the book that's a good start . If you really want this you have to do whatever it takes. Order the supplements (they really do help) I'm unsure why but they do and most people on the board will agree. If you are in dire straights I would go to my doc and ask for the topa. People have been having a lot of success with that. It's not for everyone but at least after reading the book you can figure out if it's for you. It sounds like you really want this so go for it.

This board is amazing and you will be surprised with yourself if you keep posting. You will get a positive charge from people on here and you will also realize you are not alone.

I wish you success on your journey and hope to hear how you are doing. Remember Rome was not built in a day......


April 16th, 2006, 06:56 AM
Hi all, what a great site :) .My names Graham, im 25 and from the UK. I've been drinking pretty heavily for the past 10 years and have decided enough is enough : .
I go through fazes of different drinks, sometimes 8 beers, sometimes a bottle of vodka most nights.
I'm not a unhappy person, quite the opposite, but am fairly shy. I think thats the reason I started to drink, that and my dads a alcoholic(8+ cans of beer, everynight for the last 30 years).
I have lived in a few places with work, which I enjoy. I lived in Austria for 3 years and made some good freinds through work who would ask me out in a evening, but mostly I would just stay in with a bottle :rolleyes , proberly because it was easier than facing my social phobia. My work has'nt been effected by drinking, although I do act rather strange sometimes in a morning after a vodka sesh. Once I sort my head out by lunch, I feel rubbish cos i've acted a prat during the morning, which makes my sad and angry which then makes me want a drink when I get home at night.
On the few occasions i hav'nt drank the night before I feel good and act fine, and i feel pleased with myself and more confidant and that little voice in my head says ' ooo, well done you, have a drink tonight to celebrate, a few drinks wont hurt' !, then I do and the morning after I feel rubbish and paranoid again and the cycle starts again.
I've been sober for three days now, which feels good but I would love to get some Vodka and have a good sesh, im my room, on my own with my p.c. How sad is that? I can do much better than this, i just need to keep reminding myself that drinking is no future.
Sorry is this makes no sense, i just needed to say it :) Thanks.

April 16th, 2006, 11:08 AM
Hey Cheeseburger - Welcome. You picked a good place to start. Read some of the posts and maybe download the book which would be a good start. It's amazing how you will start thinking more positively and start making the changes. However, not to get ahead of myself. I think once you read the book you can understand what I mean. You may decide to do the whole program or just part of it.

In any case I wish you luck. Just to let you know I think you should post on a new thread. This one has been around for a while and you might get missed. Just, right at the beginning Select add a new topic and just say your new... or Hi whatever. This way people can see someone new is in the group and you will get more feedback.

Good Luck,

April 16th, 2006, 06:48 PM
I've been on the site several weeks now and just joined. Thought I could do this by myself but no luck. I did not have a drink for 4 days but today was a little hard sooooooooo had some wine.
I bought the vitamins at a health store. They do make a little difference but not as much as I thought they would. I do like the idea of privacy. Just can't go to AA. I am a professional with an ego. Afraid to face some demons so just deny they are there.

April 16th, 2006, 07:52 PM
Hi Diane, Congrats on 4 days! That's great! I havn't done that in in about a mo. now... Maybe again, sometime soon?
Still gearing up... I'm strugling w/ having the temptation in the home...
My Hubby enjoys his beer...... & I'm the one w/ the problem. so.....although, lately he's been drinking more than me... Hummm.
He's never missed work or lost a job, etc... over it...Anyway I do know what I'm capable of if I'm not very, very, vigilant ...the support would be nice,but...
So, this isn't really about him, sorry I'm rambling...
But really congratulations, and welcome aboard! Hugs, Judie

April 16th, 2006, 08:24 PM
Hi St Jude,
Changed my user name to Trak2 for a personal reason. I do get nervous about my drinking. I love my wine. Lately it just has been out of control and have noticed a persobality change. Everytime I try to cut down it just doesn't seem to last very long. This week however I did not drinknfor 4 days and I am proud of that but still don't know if I can do that forever. Inhaven't bought the book yet but have done allot of reading in the last 2 months. Do enjoy this sight the most.
Thanks for your support.

April 18th, 2006, 02:56 AM
Hi I'm a newbie

Reading your messages makes me think that anything is possible. I am living in Belgium where I have been with my husband and three boys for twelve years. I have been drinking two bottles + of wine per day for as long as I can remember. I have tried to stop several times but always end up falling off the wagon and hating myself for it. I am determined to succeed this time and you all make me believe that it is possible. I have also ordered the book and didn't drink anything yesterday for the first time. Not sure if all these other things you talk about are possible to get over here - I have been prescribed Clonazepamum in the past but always stop taking it because I want a drink. Good luck to you all...:)

April 18th, 2006, 03:08 PM
Re: Hi I'm a newbie

Hi Cochinelle,

I hope you stay with us and start the program. Everyone is so wonderful here and we are all in the same struggle to get the help we deserve. It can be a challenge - but I have found it isn't as hard or as scary with all the help of the suppliments and medications. I finally received my Topamax in the mail (I too, would never want to have a prescription filled for fear of someone finding out about my problem). So even in Belgium, there is hope. This on-line community brings the world a little closer :)

I spent 7 years in Germany (I am from the U.S.) and looking back, my drinking really became a problem during this time. The culture there is so centered around drinking. Not that I'm blaming 'that culture' for my drinking, it was just easier to accept my behavior then.

I understand how scary it is to think of not drinking. Don't be hard on yourself if you slip, but always move yourself in the direction of change and every little step counts here!
Take good care,

April 19th, 2006, 07:46 AM
hi i'm a newbie

I am really going to give it a try. Trouble is the prospect of sitting sober around lots of other people having fun is pretty sobering! One of the reasons I got into drinking is that i found it relaxes me - until the next morning. Like you said, in cultures where everybody drinks it is hard not to drink. I am waiting for the book and am determined to give it a try. Being able to swap notes with other people in the same boat really helps. Thanx for your good wishes - good luck to you too.


April 20th, 2006, 04:34 AM
Re: hi i'm a newbie

Hi Cochinelle,

I don't know whether you got my post on the other thread but I sent you an ezMail if you check your ezInbox. If you already have then just ignore me!!!

-Michelle x

April 21st, 2006, 07:22 AM
Re: hi i'm a newbie

thanks for your e-mail Michelle. Hope you got my reply. Still waiting for the book and will give it a go............... thanks for listening!!!

April 24th, 2006, 07:09 PM
Hi I am new too and just found out about this site yesterday from my best friend that I have not talked to in a long time. Life has a way of sending us what we need and I know I need to start something because I know I have a problem. I have managed (or at least think I have) to keep this a secret from most people in my life. I come across as very put together and also an avid health nut and runner. I put allot of demands on myself and at the end of it all I am exhausted and turn to drinking too much, then I hate myself and feel physically sick. It really has become a rat race and I can honestly say that I hate being drunk. I would drink wine with the excuse that it is good for you and that it is more sophisticated than drinking beer but I know that's all one big lie I tell myself. So I am really thinking about starting up.

April 25th, 2006, 04:50 AM
Can you tell me where to get the Topa on line. I also live in UK.

April 25th, 2006, 06:31 AM
Re: hi i'm a newbie

Hi again Cochinelle,

Yes I got your reply, thanks. Have you received your book yet? If not don't lose your resolve!! Keep reading the posts here, they're a great source of inspiration and if you feel like it, start posting yourself too. It might keep you going until the book comes. Don't feel you'll be judged if you're drinking whilst posting, it's not like that, we all understand!! If you have any questions, I'm sure they'll be answered. My ezBox will always be open for you hun if you need to off load in any shape or form. Good Luck!

-Michelle x

April 25th, 2006, 06:36 AM
Hi Helen and welcome :D

I'm in the UK too. The site mentioned before on here is inhousepharmacy.com (supposed to be very reputable! (sp?)) However, I just Googled it and compared the prices as it's sooo expensive! There's not a lot in it though. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

-Michelle x

April 25th, 2006, 06:59 AM
Hi tryingtobegood2,

Welcome to the site. Have you read many of the posts? If you have you will have noticed a common thread running through them that sound a lot like yours- the self hatred, the waking up not wanting to feel like you do anymore, the guilt, the drinking to escape...the list goes on!! So you are not alone!! Have you read the book? Along with reading the posts on here (and posting yourself if you feel up to it) I would advise doing this first, then you'll feel stronger about your decision to stop/moderate your drinking (I did anyway!) and you'll know what the hell we are all talking about...lol!!

Anyway, I hope this doesn't sound too preachy...I don't want to scare you off. This program really has worked wonders for me. I'm at a place now that I never dreamed I could ever be (regarding my drinking anyway!!!) It's not easy but if you really want it then you CAN do it.

-Michelle x

April 26th, 2006, 04:06 AM
Thanks Michelle

I have not received the book yet but was so disgusted by the copious amounts that I have drunk over the last few weeks that I have not touched a drop for two (big deal I know!) whole days. The invention of the box of wine was great for some but for me was a bad thing because I keep drinking and do not see how much I am drinking. I have also started taking Rivotril which my doctor prescribed. I can only normally take it for ten days - don't know why as it seems to be an epilepsy drug like Topa so I may get some Topa as it is really helping the cravings. Unfortunately my food consumption has soared so if you hear news of a whale being spotted in Belgium - look no further!!! Can't wait to get the book. Thanks for your support.

Elaine xx

April 26th, 2006, 04:26 AM
Hi Cochinelle,

Well done on the 2 days!:D That's fab'! And it *is* a big deal. I can remember when I was still drinking and there was the occasional day when I wouldn't and I'd think to myself "Well done", followed by "Don't be so bl**dy stupid, it's one day, for God's sake" which would promptly push me back into drinking again. The truth of it is you have to start some where, which means there has to be a Day 1, Day 2, etc.....hopefully, sooner or later it'll be weeks not days!!

I'm not familiar with the med' you wrote about but if it's working for you...! Have you spoken to your Doc' about Topa?

I was supposed to go to my Dr's yesterday but they couldn't fit me in for an appointment due to their new system.....>: ...the same thing has happened today which has resulted in me running out of Campral, I think I'm going to be in for a rough 24hrs!! Grrrrrr......not a happy chappie!! I have to say I'm a little worried, I hope I'm strong enough to see it through.

Keep strong and have a good day.

-Michelle x

PS. If anyone else reads this and has any suggestions they'd be much appreciated!!;)

April 26th, 2006, 04:45 AM
Am seeing my doctor next week - she is on holiday at the moment but am definitely going to ask about Topa. Can't take Rivotril for more than ten days - don't know why but definitely need something I can take long term. Am feeling pretty shitty today. Tired, and a bit shaky but determined to see it through. Has the Campral helped you? Do you take Topa as well? The cravings have been under control for the last two days but i am terrified that it will not last. Seem very tired too so slept a lot yesterday as I was not at work. Thanks for your support - you are a doll!! You sound as tho' you are doing tremendously and are an inspiration to us all!!

Elaine x

April 26th, 2006, 04:53 AM
hi michelle! you sound like you're doing brilliantly! perhaps you could take lots of kudzu until you get your campral script? may help! i've been doing okay with just moderating,but at weekends i still seem to go over the top so i know i've got to sort it out! take care. jennyx

April 26th, 2006, 05:26 AM

'ello stranger!! How have you been? You haven't been posting much so I wasn't sure you were still around! Are you bald yet?? :D

Are you still taking the Topa? That should have stopped you drinking so much?? (Or at least made your hangovers worse!!)

I went to my first 'sober' party on Saturday! Thought I'd stick out like a sore thumb but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be! I didn't get any snide comments/looks (I think we make more of it in our heads), most people that asked about it just saw it as a lifestyle choice...like not smoking or being a veggie and I think everyone said "Good for you", so I was pleasantly surprised.

I've also noticed that I've stopped patting myself on the back everyday for not drinking which made me chuckle. It's just become normal for me to not drink!! I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN!! Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way complacent (sp?) about it..to be honest, I don't think I ever will be..but I'm getting to the point where it's not dominating my whole thinking process and that's exactly what I've wanted all along! Yay!

Anyway, there goes my essay writing again!! Well done with your moderation hun. Anything less than what you were drinking is a step in the right direction! And thanks for the advice, although I think it'll be sheer bloodymindedness that'll get me through!! x

-Michelle x

"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop" -- Confucius

April 26th, 2006, 05:57 AM

I found I was absolutely exhausted for about the first week and a half and even now I tend to go to bed for 9.30! I think your body is just taking a well earned rest from all that poison it's endured!!

I took Topa initially, it worked wonders but was soo expensive hence moved onto the Campral. I found that the Campral wasn't as effective with the cravings as the Topa (for me) and I had to fight that little bit harder. Another thing with the Campral is that you have to have been sober for a while before taking it. I can't remember how long...a week I think (perhaps someone else can jump in here??)

I see you have joined the 2 week ab's! Well done, I think that's a fab' idea. I know when I first started, literally the first few days, every time I heard that voice in my head screaming for a drink I imagined all the girls (and the few boys!!) on this site sitting in their lounges struggling too and I thought to myself "if they can do it, so can I", it may sound silly but it's got me to 9 weeks without getting drunk so I don't care if I'm silly!

Lastly, I know you are terrified....so am I. I guess it comes with the territory. But I say it's good to be scared because for me it's that fear, amongst other things, that's stops me going back to the place that was so dark and lonely and scary. I'm just starting out in this new place and I carry around that fear as a reminder of what I have achieved, off my own back, for me and my daughters. Have a good day, I'll be thinking of you.

-Michelle x

"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop" -- Confucius

April 26th, 2006, 01:39 PM
Ok - i will carry on snoozing in the afternoon without feeling guilty. Our new three month old puppy loves it so it is good for both of us!!

Can't decide whether to try the Campral. I think I may ask my husband to go and get it so that I am not recognised as an alcoholic. He will just have the embarrassment of being recognised as the husband on one!! I certainly do need something to get me through the early evening. Maybe think I should give some of the other supplements a go - have you or anyone else tried anything and found them effective?

Hope you are doing ok without the Campral...

Elaine x

April 29th, 2006, 07:32 PM
I too, am just getting into the program. I have the book and the CD's. I have ordered the All One sup, and the Kudsu and should receive them next week. I am buying the other sups locally. I saw my Dr. yesterday and was very surprised at how supportive he was. I took him some of the research materials, as suggested. He was interested in reading more about the program. He had never heard about using Topamax to treat problem drinking. I was honest with him for the first time ever about how much I drink on a daily basis. I have been seeing him for about twelve years and for twelve years I have been lying. I told him if I had been truthful he would have insisted I quit long before now, and I wasn't ready. I also explained to him how nerveous I was, and how hard it was for me to open up to him, and he said he totally understood. I felt a big load lifted when I left his office. I have been dreading that day ever since I decided to start the program. Hope you other newbies will have the same experiance.

A qiuestion for anyone with an answere. Did you stop drinking at your onset in the program, or did you taper off as the cravings subside? I would like to hear about both approaches.
Thanks for your support. Eliziby

I forgot to mention that I left my Dr.'s office with two perscriptions for Topamax, and he is going to see on a regular basis while I'm on the program.

April 30th, 2006, 04:19 AM
"Did you stop drinking at your onset in the program, or did you taper off as the cravings subside?"

Hi Eliziby,

Firstly, good for you on making this big decision! To answer your question from my experience...I didn't really think about it too deeply initially and drank "moderately" for the first week (having 1 drink per night as opposed to having 6!) But I soon realised I wasn't comfortable with doing this as it still felt that alcohol had a hold over me. So I decided to abstain. My thinking *was* for a period of abstaination and then see how I felt once the hold was broken but coming up to week 10 now (Mon) and I'm going to stick with abstaining, for now anyway. It's been said by a few others on here, and I have to agree, that a period of abstaination is a good idea, just to give your body (and mind) a rest. Then you can re-evaluate moderate drinking with your eyes wide open. That's my 2p's worth anyway!! Good Luck and Wishing You Strength.

-Michelle x

May 8th, 2006, 07:24 AM

I'm new too... fed up with my abuse of alcohol since my husband died - a bottle of wine most nights - and the feeling of having no control, worrying about the effect on my 13yr old, my health etc etc (although he tells me in no uncertain terms). I went surfing this morning in desperation and stumbled across this website... (after ordering numerous amount of books at Amazon!).

I've now ordered the book, cds and supplements - and feeling positive that this is something that can work. Not sure what to do about the medication though. Really don't want to go to my GP with this... but feeling a bit wobbly about ordering them overseas (I'm in the UK). Had a look online but can't quite bring myself to press that order button - taking antidepressesents so concerned about any clash with them. Still, I've also downloaded the book so will start reading it and think about it.

May 8th, 2006, 07:29 PM

I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband!How difficult this must be for you. I'm inpressed that you have the courage to seek out help. I too can easily consume a bottle of wine a night and am very new to the program. Have started the May abstinence program and there is a great deal of support there so you can hop right on . I received the book and the cd's last week and have been going through them . Found the cd's strange at first but am now hooked on them. They are very relaxing. I am not taking the topomax either as wanted to try the program without it and did worry about requesting it from my Dr.. Perhaps one of the others can tell you more about how it has helped them. If I cannot work the program without the topomax then Iwill try to get it but for now will try without it. As I said someone who is taking it can advise you better.
Welcome,we are all here for you

May 9th, 2006, 04:13 AM
Re: Newbie

Hi wrightkp,

I'm in the UK too. If you get yourself registered I can send you an ezMail if you'd like and I'll let you know about my experiences with Topa, etc. (I'm also on antidepressants). You wont be able to get it on prescription here, not for alcohol dependence anyway!

To register, click on the 'register account' link, somewhere at the top of the page (I can't remember where exactly!!), it's quite small so you might have to squint!!

Take care, I hope to hear from you...oh and welcome!

-Michelle x

May 9th, 2006, 04:15 AM
Re: Newbie

Me again!

Just had a look, "register free account' link, top left of the page!! :)

May 9th, 2006, 05:10 AM
Re: Newbie

Hi vinophile and Michelle,

I've now registered (was wrightkp). Thanks for your welcomes.

Just told the bereavement counscellor this morning that what I drank was a problem for me as I wanted to drink less etc etc. I'm one of these once the bottle is opened I basically finish it. Didn't have any last night but was thinking about it alot. Reading some of 'My way out' and I'm thinking, I know exactly what they mean!! I'm looking forward to starting the programme :)


May 9th, 2006, 01:56 PM
I read a number of comments about tapering off versus quitting and my approach is to plan on moderating when faced with the "opportunity" to drink and then otherwise not drink because I just don't want to think about it. Yesterday, Like Eliziby, I found my kaiser physician, her staff, and the pharmacist very supportive of my decision to do something about my alcohol consumption. None had heard of Topomax for cravings but were very interested in how it might work. Kaiser has a very strict( they don't let you take alergy meds etc.) AA based addiction program and I was pleasantly surprised to find my doctor more cooperative. Oops! tangent. I related to a lot of people on the posts and would like to moderate, yet I also realize that it might not be an option for me. I live in Northern Cal and would be intersted in learning more about the buddy system and how to get the best support from this website.47, Married with children. Stay at home (past two years). DAy 2 - Keke

May 9th, 2006, 02:51 PM
A 'My Way Out' virgin

So... got the book ordered

May 9th, 2006, 08:02 PM
Re: A 'My Way Out' virgin

Welcome Karen,
This program is a great help to stop drinking or to learn how to drink in moderation. If you are considering moderation a period of abstinence is recommened you can read more about it in the book when you get it.

You will find a lot of support of many women and even a few guys too, who all share many of the same issues.

Great job getting a start with some exercise, that is an important part of the program!

Good luck!

May 10th, 2006, 05:17 AM
Re: A 'My Way Out' virgin

Thank you Marcie...

May 10th, 2006, 01:15 PM
Keke, I am in Day 3, and upon starting MYO, I ask the question if at the on set should I moderate or abstain. I believe it was Donna who responded. She said that either way you choose to go (moderation or abstenence) you should obstain for the first thirty days if I remember correctly. Donna, if you are out there, correct me if I'm wrong. I think I want to mederate, but I know right now, if I had taken one glass of wine when having cravings the last two nights, I would have crashed. You may be stronger than I am. Good luck, be strong, and know we all are going through this together. Eliziby

May 11th, 2006, 09:33 AM
I am from Toronto. Did you find a place to get Topamax?
Not much luck yet.

May 13th, 2006, 03:20 PM
I found a site for topamax online....www.nightanddaypharmacy.com (http://www.nightanddaypharmacy.com)....

I was able to get it from my GP though. I was just checking out my options if she wouldn't write the script for me.

May 14th, 2006, 05:42 AM
new here

Hi all

I have been reading the posts over the last week or so and actually had a couple of non drinking days only to really go on a bender Friday & all day Saturday. My problem is Chardonnay. I also am lonely but only because I isolate (AA word). I have ordered the starter kit and really want to get going.


May 14th, 2006, 05:37 PM
Re: new here

Pebbles, welcome to our group. You have taken the first and one of the hardest steps to overcoming your problem drinking. Keep coming here for support and what ever questions you might have about the program. There are a bunch of great people here who stand ready to help. :) Eliziby

May 14th, 2006, 06:56 PM

Thanks Elizby - I like most people on these boards am a very "high functioning" drinker. Great career and lifestyle but get me alone for a weekend (yep this is a bad one) and everything goes right out the window. Even missed taking mom to brunch as I was too sick (drunk). Pretty bad for a 41 yo. I have done the AA thing but the whole inventory and telling everyone your forgiveness yadayada not to mention some real bi%$tchy women has made me a non AA person.

Well, thanks and I hope this program can get me back on track.


May 14th, 2006, 07:28 PM
Re: Thanks

Welcome Pebbles!

May 15th, 2006, 05:09 PM
Re: Thanks

Hi Peb, I too was a highly functioning drinker. In fact, I was a clauset drinker. For many years, no one knew I drank. If we had places to go or things to do, I waited till afterwards to start drinking, which might mean I would stay up later to get the effect I wanted from my wine. If I could start drinking earlier, I would go to bed earlier. Whatever was the case, I drank nightly. I could never reveal my secret which is why I too, was never a candidate for AA. First of all I had too much pride to admit I was unable to stop on my own. I have always felt that I was in control. Secondly, I would hurt alot of people who I have kept it from. I may tell them some day when I have it under control. I prayed for several years for something other than AA that would help me get control over this terrible habit, and I think MYO just might be it. I am in my eighth day. There are others in this group who are at the same place and we are keeping each other posted on what's happening each day. I hope you will join us. We are here for each other. E.

May 15th, 2006, 05:25 PM

Thanks E - I will be touching base. Sure feels good that the hangover will be gone soon! I love those nondrinking mornings - jogging without the hangover is heaven.

It is nice to have people here to confide in about our issues. There must be millions of people like us out there.


Oh, I am taking Mom out to lunch on Wednesday to make up for my "sick" day yesterday.

May 16th, 2006, 09:45 AM
Re: Thanks

Enjoy your Mom, tell her you you love her while you can. I can't do that any more. My mom passed away several years ago. I miss her. E.

May 16th, 2006, 04:46 PM
Another Newbie

Wow. cQN i actually post without registering first? I've used bulletin boards for years (atkins, for example). Anyway, I am extremely intrigued and like Ms. Jewell I am a professional woman who does not want to involve my work, my doctor, or anything else that would put me totally out of the closet.

Of course I realize that some of my behaviors - and cripes, the odor - we drinkers don't even realize that we smell like drinkers to regular folk - in spite of the mouthwash and perfume, etc. etc.

Well, I'm looking forward to learning here and hope this is finally where I'll find some answers. Please wish me luck.

P.S. Not making excuses, but a little background. I got divorced five years ago from a very unhappy, verbally abusive relationship. Thankfully I got my only daughter through high school before I had to make that decision (last straw was the cheating). I stayed single for the time my daughter lived at home and went to a local university; two years. When she left I kind of burnt out and hooked up with a lovely man who also has a serious drinking problem. And it is costing us a lot. I am thinking of leaving him ... i can afford to pay my own way .. I foolishly thought that if we had the same problem we could help each other. We tried AA, we tried cutting down and abstaining completely but neither worked. Can any one relate to this?

May 16th, 2006, 10:47 PM
Re: Another Newbie

losingtouch, The only thing I can relate to is the problem drinking and AA not being the answer. You should post this where it is more visable. This is on page 6 of this thread. If you start it as a new topic, you'll get a lot of response. There are really great people here who ready to help you. Eliziby

May 21st, 2006, 08:16 PM
Hi! I'm new!

Hey guys and girls...I stumbled upon this site searching for alchol rehab programs. I don't see the AA thing working for me, and it's kind of hard facing people and saying I'm an alcoholic at 22. I have been since I was about 16, though.

Anyway, I was justing going to say hi and introduce myself and all that jazz. I'm going to work on getting the book this week and read up on the message board and such.

I look forward to seeing where this can take me!


May 22nd, 2006, 07:08 AM
Welcome Amanda.

There are a lot of great folk here. Hang in there and try to learn as much as you can about the program and folks. Hope you stay with us! Cathy

May 24th, 2006, 03:02 PM

hi there lushliar

May 25th, 2006, 11:21 AM
And yet another newbie...

It is such a comfort to find there are people out there just like me...with the same problems and feelings. I have been drinking since I was 18..now 43. the last few years have gotten really bad. I drinik every night, one of those big bottles of wine...and wake up the next morning wondering what happened the last few hours of the night because of blackouts. My husband also drinks, but is very moderate and is not like me. I tried AA once and the highlight was having a big furry cat come and sit on my lap. I have a good job, do not want to tell a doctor, don't want others to know about my problem. I am sick of it, and regret it in the morning, yet the next evening, it's another bottle.
I found this website yesterday, ordered the Topamax from off-shore, and ordered the cds, book, and vitamins. Hopefully will get them all next week.
I do have a question though, I drink to get that "high feeling", does the drugs help to not need to get high?


May 25th, 2006, 11:48 AM
Re: And yet another newbie...

Hi Smokey, and welcome. To answer your question, or try to....
Before when I drank, I drank to get get that "high" feeling, but also to get that feeling of "normal" & comfortable, maybe, "less anxious" is a better way to describe it. I always felt like I was missing something, and couldnt quite relax & enjoy myself, unless I had a few drinks in me to loosen up.
Now with being on topa, I feel more relaxed, with myself. I'm moderating, I did do a period of abstinance(18 days...was going for 30..but...), anyway, I'm happy with my progress, and so is my Hubby.
Now when I drink, I drink slowly & actually sip & enjoy it, instead of "drinking on a mission" & chugging or slurpin for all it's worth & hating myself later, then wondering what happened!:rolleyes Quite a nice change!;) Welcome aboard. I used to watch people drink, like I'm doing now, with envy....and almost get mad that I couldn't do that. I really feel like I'm being re-wired! Pretty neat! Hugs, Judie

May 25th, 2006, 02:33 PM
Re: And yet another newbie...

thanks Judie. I know, when I drink I pretty much chug it until I get that feeling..then I start slowing down abit. My hubby has a couple glasses of bourbon, and I'll steal sips of that too, in order to get high really fast, also drink on an empty stomach. Am so sick of doing this. I enjoy the high, but then the next morning can't remember anything. Getting tired of the blackouts. Watched Idol last night, and couldn't even remember who won until I looked on the Internet. I never remember getting into bed. I'm waiting for all the stuff before I quit, then will try moderation first. I really want this to work and have been looking for the answer for some time. I have a good feeling about this program after reading all of the posts.
Thanks for the hugs, and back atcha!

May 25th, 2006, 10:01 PM
just wanted to say hello

May 26th, 2006, 07:16 AM
Hi Kimber and welcome!


May 26th, 2006, 02:14 PM
Re: And yet another newbie...

Smokey, like Judie, I went abs for awhile (not as long as she did) but before joining MWO, I drank 8,9, sometimes 10 glasses of wine every evening. Mostly 8 or 9. Now after 3 weeks into the program, if I have any, all it takes for me to be satisfied is 1 and 1/2 glasses. My husband is a non drinker and he is pleased with my progress. To answere your question from my prospective, it doesn't totally wipe out any and every desire you had or have for whatever you like to drink, but I can say that for me it numbs it. Hang in there with is Smokey, I think you'll like us. Eliziby

May 27th, 2006, 03:40 PM

I've followed your posts or at least the ones I found. How is it going for you now? I, too, am inclined to drink a bottle of wine a day. There were times I'd add, say, a gimlet out to dinner. Now the gimlet is off limits and I'm ok with that. And I've always had a rule--none during the day. But come evening, it is just part of relaxation, or so it feels. Now I know it's too much. My doc said keep it to two a day. I'd like to do that. Hope it is still working as well or better for you!


May 28th, 2006, 03:12 PM
Hi, I just found this website today, and decided to join I have not purchased the book yet but plan on it. I have pretty much screwed up my life but decided today that it's time to change. Cried for a while, I don't do that to much I generally drink. Today will be my first day of sobriety.

May 28th, 2006, 05:11 PM
And yet ANOTHER newbie

Hi folks,

'just found this site and am thankful, excited, and today sober. Fortunately I haven't yet completely screwed up my life, although I was dealing with a major hangover this morning. Tomorrow morning I will not have a hangover, this I know and for this I am thankful.

I've sobered up several times before, often for extended periods. Sometimes the first few days are tough, but invariably I feel SO much better.

I don't know if complete and total abstinence is the correct answer. I do know that deciding to get good and drunk (and I believe it's a conscious and willful decision on my part) rarely makes me happy in the long run. When I just have a couple drinks, there's no problem, no hangover, and no regret for things I say or do.

I believe there is a lot of disinformation out there regarding alcohol abuse/addiction, as well as a huge profit-motivated industry. This being said, I'll support whatever works.

I am certain my life is 'manageable' and I am in no way powerless ... in fact I am empowered by the understanding that I and only I can do this. But a little help, comraderie, and support from folks in similar situations would really be appreciated.

What can I do for you?

OK, gotta read the forums, order the book, etc. Best to you all.


PS - to fedup2006, your can better your life! and there's a whole world of beauty and love out there beyond the pain and shame. Crying is OK, getting drunk is not. It's time to stop drinking, soon it'll be time to stop crying.

May 28th, 2006, 05:44 PM
Re: And yet ANOTHER newbie

Hi Ug,

Welcome to MWO! You got it about right, read the forums, order the book, etc....however, you can download the book if you don't want to wait for it in the mail. This is a place of great support, and you are most certainly right, you are not powerless!

This program can work for you, it certainly has worked for me! (I am now successfully nine weeks in) So, best of luck to you as you begin your journey! Let us know what we can do to help you on your way! ;)


May 28th, 2006, 05:52 PM
Hi Fedup,

Congratulations on day one of sobriety!! Give youself a big patt on the back!! You should be proud of yourself for deciding that you want to change your life. That is not an easy thing to do! And you know what else, a good cry is just that, a GOOD CRY, so let it rip!!

You can download the book so you don't have to wait for it in the mail, and you can be on your way that much quicker. I want you to know that you have found a place of great support here and are among people who truly understand how you are feeling! Let us know how we can help you get started on your way, and welcome to MWO!! ;)


May 28th, 2006, 09:17 PM
Thank You.

May 28th, 2006, 09:36 PM
Your Very Welome!

May 30th, 2006, 04:01 AM


May 30th, 2006, 10:05 PM
Hey fed up, I'm just starting, too. Looking forward to feeling good when I wake up tomorrow. How arre you feeling? annifofanni

May 31st, 2006, 02:27 AM
Feeling great! Tomorrow will be the test I own a bar/steak house and I'm the bartender for the next couple of days. I'm a little apprehensive.:rolleyes

May 31st, 2006, 08:39 AM
L-Glutamine works great....

Hi all! Still waiting for my pkgs, so went to a vitamin store last night and bought kudzu, calms forte, l-glutamine, and GABA. I usually start drinking around 5pm..(and don't stop until bedtime..). Hubby and I got home around 7pm last night, only had a few glasses of wine left, so I took 1 l-glut tablet and emptied the contents under my tongue, and took 3 calms forte pills. Waited about a half hour and read a book in bed. Drank the two glasses of wine. This is going to sound really wierd but...I got this really weird feeling inside my brain, like I could feel the alcohol effects around the outside of my brain, but felt like there was a big rock on the inside, that was keeping me from feeling any of the euphoric effects...has anyone else felt that. I believe it was the L-glut, keeping me from getting that eurphoric or high feeling...Hope this didn't sound too stupid!
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this???
THanks! Don't have any bottles of wine in the house, don't want to buy any either. Going on vacation this saturday to grand canyon, and would like to NOT drink during this time...

May 31st, 2006, 10:18 AM

Hi Smokey and Saint Jude

I am so like you two. I have been reading the boards for about 4 hours and have been so impressed with everybodys attitude. I am from UK and have been drinking like a fish for years. A real quaffer. From what has been said so far the printer is zipping the book out now. I am in my 3rd day of no alcohol from usually a bottle of gin a night. Sleeping is doing my head in, but I am determined to abstain for at least a month. To all you others out there, you certainly have been an inspiration and you are the first people I have told that I am an alcoholic apart from the wife. I am looking forward to speaking to all of you at some stage



May 31st, 2006, 10:27 AM

Hi Kirky. I have never admitted to anyone I was an alcoholic, not that they didn't know that. I am on day 4 of no alcohol. Feeling quite anxious. I have to bartend tonite but plan on being on the board after work to celebrate the end of day 4.
Congratulations and hang in there.

May 31st, 2006, 10:46 AM

Hi Kirky & Fedup! Congrats on 3 & 4 days! That's great! Those first few are the roughest...:x It definately gets a whole lot better after that! Hang in there. welcome aboard and we'll see ya around campus!!?;)

Kirky enjoy your reading today!

And hey Fed, good luck with bartending, I've done quite a bit of that myself. I love the joke telling & tail-yanking... but I'm such a pro @ hidin stuff in my coffee cup.... not sure I could trust myself to tend bar anymore...:rolleyes
Athough, I do serve wine & beer where I wait tables, it's still not like being the "BUS DrIVER" so to speak!:b

May 31st, 2006, 10:47 AM

Thanks for the quick reply I am fedup

I do not envy you. Just being near all that alcohol must be tempting. I used to work for my mother as a waiter in her restaurant when I was a kid, about 12 and I think that is where some of it started, going round minesweeping leftovers.

Good luck with it


May 31st, 2006, 10:49 AM

Thank You and good luck to you. I wouldnt work in a bar but we own it and I don't have a choice so I'll buck up and deal with it. (sound tuff huh :) )

June 1st, 2006, 01:39 AM
O.K so I chickend out, I called in my backup bartender while I did some baking at the other restaurant. One of the regulars called me and asked me to come over for a drink, so I went....and I DRANK WATER WITH LEMON!!! Damn that felt good. B.S. with the customers and didnt drink a drop of alcohol. So Tomorrow I'm ready to get behind the bar. I think I can do it.

June 1st, 2006, 04:49 AM
Well done. At least you thought about ways to get round it. I had another sleepless night last night. Hope it goes away soon. Keep up the good work


June 1st, 2006, 08:30 AM
I am sleeping better already. Hang in there, the only way to go is up. If your going through Hell, keep on going don't slow down, you might get through it before the devil even knows your there.

Take Care

June 1st, 2006, 10:52 AM
Hy Barb, I know that song!:evil Hang in there! Sounds like things are getting better for ya already! Looks like we were posting @ about the same time yesterday, don't know if ya saw my reply(back a page). Congrats on just drinking water last night, that's a BIGGY!;) I miss bartending... but not sure if I'd trust myself @ it these days...:rolleyes maybe someday... I just know too damn many "tricks", I'm afraid the temptation would get the best of me!:b :hat

Hey Kirk, Hang in there,... it will get better! Have you tried Calmes Forte? Or Melatonin? for sleep? I know when I first come off a binge, I'm so guilt ridden, all I can think about is everything I've done wrong, and all the problems I've caused...:( The longer you stick with this, each day, it gets better.;) ) Before you know it you'll be so busy doing healthy things( you forgot you enjoyed), you won't have time for that self -loathing. Hope I'm not "over-speaking" here... Just remembering how it was for me!:rolleyes Hugs, Judie

June 2nd, 2006, 07:48 AM
chat with me

i have just ordered my topamax and i have the book.
did you get any side effects like blurred vision, hair loss?
also why do you have to start at 25 mg and then increase the meds? the book does not explain that.
thank you so very much

June 2nd, 2006, 07:58 AM

do you have to stop drinking completely for one month before starting the TOPAMAX?

June 2nd, 2006, 08:03 AM
Thanks Judie

Day 5 now, and I went out for a meal last night and watched my wife drink 2 glasses of wine with no problem. She went to bed early and I could have easily sneaked out to the garage and got some alcohol but did not. I took some Benedryl last night, it was a bit better, but still not good. I kept waking up in starts , must be dreaming. I might go out later and get some melatonin.
Thanks for yor advice. I have read up to side effects now in the book. I am still considering the tapes as I know I am susceptible to hypnotism, but may just get some local supps from Barret& Johnson to see how I go. Dont really want to do TOPOMAX as I will have to get it from a different country. I dont think I am as bad as Roberta and Brenda as I don't crave alcohol during the day or in the morning. I think I have over the years just got more dependant on it to go to sleep. But I have always had a atrt time of about 6pm and always resented it if I had to go and pick my boy up from cubs at 8pm. Waffled on enough for now ttfn


June 2nd, 2006, 10:12 AM


June 2nd, 2006, 11:01 AM
Re: alcoholic

Hey Moodus & Tanya welcome aboard,
Moodus, No, you don't have to stop drinking for 1 month befor starting the topa. There is a recommended abstinent period suggested as part of the program. Do you have the book? I didn't when I first started, but sure wish I had!:rolleyes

Tanya, can you tell us something about what's going on? So we can help you ? This is a wonderful p;rogram. You'll find some great support here...;)

June 2nd, 2006, 02:36 PM

dear st.jude. thanks for the info. how about side effects?
i cannot wait to start the program. my friend and i are supporting each other. we are just waiting on the TOPA.
i am a little nervous about the blurry vision. i think that starts when u get to 50mg.
how long have you been on the prog?

June 2nd, 2006, 03:05 PM
Hi! I am in day 3 of MWO and day 3 on TOPA. Read about the program earl week while desperately searching for the answer for a private solution to my problem and there it was. Ordered the book, read a little, made an appt. with the doc. ordered the cd's. Had my appt. with the doc on Wed., started the Cd's that night and I'm amazed! After being able to put away half a fifth of vodka 4-5 nights a week (not proud of that) I had 1 drink the first night on topa, tried the 2nd and poured it out. Made 1 drink the 2nd night and only drank half and am not sure I want any tonight. Day one and 2 on the topa I really felt lousy and slow. Today I feel alot better. I'm taking supps. Getting plenty of rest, water and eating light. This is amazing! I hope to be able to be a lady like social sipper rather than the closet guzzler that I've been in the past!

June 2nd, 2006, 04:01 PM
Hi Best,

Welcome to MWO! You sound like you are on your way already! Glad to hear you are drinking plenty of water, that is very important. Don't forget exercise, that will help also! This is a great site with plenty of support. Read, post, post, read. Let us know how you are doing! Best of luck as you are getting started! ;)


June 2nd, 2006, 04:04 PM
Re: alcoholic

Hi Tanya,

Welcome! We are here to help. Please let us know what we can do to help you. This is place of great support. You are among people who know how you feel! ;)


June 2nd, 2006, 04:13 PM
Re: alcoholic

Hi there Tanya,
Talk to us.

June 2nd, 2006, 05:22 PM
Do you have your CD's? Night 4 was the first I slept all night. I took a Clams Forte tablet and listened to my Sleep to Sleep learning CD and went right to sleep. Haven't had a problem since. This is week 4 for me. Welcome newbies to our group. Keep coming back. There's a lot of support here. My advice is to get the book, the supplements, and the CD's and get started. It works, and we're all here to help each other. Good Luck, Eliziby

June 2nd, 2006, 08:32 PM

Hi everyone,

I've been hanging around the site for a couple of weeks now, and I've posted a couple of small blurbs. I got my CDs and supps today. I am looking for a new doc (not sure about the topa) and have an appointment to "interview" one on Monday. I haven't posted much cuz I am not really even "on day one", but I wanted to make some noise and some contacts so I have the support when the time comes....and it's here. You all are great to read, and I hope I am in touch with all of you for a good long time.

I just literally breathed a sigh of relief...


June 2nd, 2006, 08:52 PM
Re: Introductions

Hi Pam,
Good luck with the "interview" on Monday. Let us know how it goes.


June 3rd, 2006, 07:56 AM

hey, i'm not on day one yet,either but i am sure enjoying reading what people comment on.
my day one will start when i get my topa.
if you cannot get it from the doc you can always order it online without a presc.

June 4th, 2006, 05:31 PM
Well...anther newbie. I have a Dr's appointment tomorrow and am gathering the supplements. Gonna order the CD's too. This seems like it will be good.

June 4th, 2006, 07:34 PM
Welcome to the new comers. I feel like an old timer at 4 weeks now. Wow this group just keeps growing and growing. It's really great. It's unbelievable,to me, how many there are of us in this world who have a problem with alcahol and want help with it and either don't know where to go or can't find the right place, or can't afford the treatment available for it. AA is good I guess, and works for some people, but not for everyone, and is certainly wasn't for me. I didn't drink in public and I couldn't share my problem in public (in front of people). That's why "MY Way Out" was so attractive to me. So far so good for me. There is a lot of support here. You guys keep coming back, gut your stuff together, and dive with us. Eliziby

June 4th, 2006, 07:51 PM
Thanks, Eliziby,

I am very grateful for people like you who are caring about us new ones. Congrats on 4 weeks, anni

June 4th, 2006, 08:23 PM
So after 4 weeks how are you doin? Are you takin the topa and how do you feel now? Gabby

June 5th, 2006, 01:54 PM
Hi everyone,

So, I think I found my doc. I'm going back to him for a physical, but we had a long discussion about the program and he wants me to bring in the literature. I did ask him how he felt about off label prescriptions, and told him why. He didn't balk at it, so that's good. To be honest with you, I don't know how I feel about changing the neurotransmissions in my brain! I think I'm going to go ahead and start without the topa. Any feedback veterans? Thanks.


June 5th, 2006, 08:14 PM
Hi Pam,
I am by no means a veteran but have been following the program since May1. I decided to try the program doing everything but the topomax. Did abs for most of May, had a few drinks at the end of may and am now back doing abs.I can not say how I would be doing if I were taking the topomax but must say I am fairly happy with my progress even without taking it. If, in the future, I feel I need it then I will be open to taking it.It was easier at the time just to start the program straight away without seeing my Dr.. Perhaps someone who is taking it can tell you more but sofar I have been ok without it.
Good Luck

June 6th, 2006, 09:36 AM
Thanks Janet, that's good to know. It sounds like you've had a great month. If you don't mind me asking, how much did you used to drink? I am going to get organized and go ahead without the topa. Thanks again for the input.


June 6th, 2006, 12:16 PM
Hi Pam,
As my name implies I am (was) a wine drinker. I call myself a flying below the radar drunk.Like many others I started out having a glass or two at night then it got up to a bottle. Not every night but if you can drink a bottle of wine 4-5 times weekly something is wrong. I would love to moderate at some point but don't know if that will ever be possible. For now I must abstain. Not so much fun when my soul is crying out for some fermented grape product but I do feel better in the morning. Let me know how it goes for you.

June 6th, 2006, 12:27 PM
i'm nwq, roo

I just ordered the book and the CDs, priority mail! i'm reading these posts and feel so much of your pain...i have been a heavy drinker for way too long and it's affecting me too much. i don't have the energy i used to have and it's getting too hard to hide my alternative life. i lay on the couch at night after the kids and my husband have gone to bed and i just sob, with a wine glass in hand of course. i have to get control of this. i'm going to try it without the topa, too, and see if i can do it. though the weight loss aspect of that drug does sound appealing :) would love to hear from others who have had success without adding the precription...thanks...

June 6th, 2006, 12:46 PM
Re: i'm nwq, roo

Hi Missy,

I am taking the topa, but I wanted to say Welcome. The sobbing on the couch after the kids and husband had gone to bed with a wine glass in hand sounded all too familiar to me! It is just AWFUL, I know. I can tell you Missy it has been TEN weeks now since I have done that because that is how long I have been on this program.

I am glad to hear you have ordered the book and the cds. I hope you look into getting the supplements as well. Go to the homepage and click on "Important Program Updates". You will find all the info you need about the supps there. Many people do the program without meds, I however find the topa to be a great help.

Here's to to starting the program Missy, and no more crying alone, at night, on the couch! ;)


June 6th, 2006, 04:05 PM

Iam asked with for information concerning the blurred vision while taking topa. Could anybody please respond to me question. Started cold turkey last night, without sup. or topa, sleepless nights. What can I take to help with restlessness. Thanks for your support.

June 6th, 2006, 04:54 PM
Re: Help!!!!

Hi Moodus,

The blurred vision is a rare but serious side effect of the topa. There is a research part of this site that offers more information on the subject. Also, side effects are covered in the book thoroughly.

As far as restlesness, calms forte is quite helpful. You can find this at almost any pharmacy or health food store. Also you could try some chamomile or tension tamer tea.

Make sure you are drinking PLENTY of water to keep yourself hydrated and to help flush the toxins out of your system!

The supps for cravings are kudzu and l-glutamine. You should be able to get these at your nearest health food store.

If you go to the homepage and click on the link "Important Program Updates" you will find all the info you need on all the supps used in the program.

Hang in there! I know you feel like crud now! Are you by yourself? Are you ok otherwise?

Keep in touch! It does get better! ;)


June 6th, 2006, 05:33 PM

thanks, donna, for your reply earlier today. i feel a little better already just having found this site and all these amazing people. it gives me so much hope!!! i feel somewhat optimistic for the first time in a long time that maybe i can make this work.

June 6th, 2006, 06:31 PM
Re: thanks

Believe Missy, if I can make this work in as bad of shape I was in when I got here, and that was pretty bad shape, I have a good feeling that you can make it work too, if your ready for a change! ;)


June 8th, 2006, 02:30 AM
> i'm nwq, roo

Hi Missy

The one thing you said that sticks out to me is that you have to take control. If you are serious I believe you can do it. I am on Day 11 of abs. I am not taking any meds apart from nytol to help me sleep . I have had two good nights sleep so far, and still feeling groggy in the morning, so that may be the nytol, so tonight I am going to try without it, but will take it if I wake up. I was on a bottle of gin a night twelve days ago. Although I am dog tired, mainly because I have had some bad nights, I feel much better during the day, no fogginess now, and it is nice when I go to see people in my job, that I know I cant smell of alcohol. I have been invited to a leaving do tomorrow night. Not sure whether I sam going to gobecause the booze flows at theses things but if I do go I am not going to drink alcohol. If you are determined you can do it. I enjoy getting up in the morning now because I know I am going to feel good

good luck with it


June 8th, 2006, 01:46 PM

thanks, kirky and donna! i was hoping my cds and book would arrive today but no such luck. i got two day shipping so hopefully tomorrow so i can really dig in over the weekend...i did not drink at all tuesday. wednesday i went out for a business dinner and had 2 glasses of wine over like 4 hours, then just 1 1/2 glasses when i got home much later so for me, that is progress...i am cautiously optimistic that i'm going to embrace this. one of the things that hits me like a ton of bricks as i cruise through these boards is how many of us lead this double-life. i know my friends and family know that i like to sip wine at social functions and perhaps they might even think i drink a glass or two more than everyone else but they would never, ever imagine that i'm capable of plowing through an entire bottle several nights a week...it feels so unbelievable to actually admit that "publicly" for the first time...progress?? let's hope :) thanks and enjoy the rest of the day! here's to us...

June 8th, 2006, 05:10 PM
Re: thanks

Good for you Missy! I hope your cds and book arrive soon! It does feel good to know you are not alone! Hang in there! ;)


June 9th, 2006, 09:22 AM
yet another newbie!!

Hi Everyone.
I'm from UK, read the book yesterday, just ordered the cd's and supps today, trying to find a gp in England that will give the topo, but it's finding impossible!! so I'll wait for the delivery of my things and start without it...
Found this site 10mins ago and it makes my heart smile to think that there are SO SO many of us who want to give up and are lucky enough to have found this site, so thankyou to all who have written, you are all inspirational!x

June 9th, 2006, 10:20 AM
Re: yet another newbie!!

Hi Maireuk from the UK :) ,

I too am from the UK. Have Doctors turned you down for the topa then? I didn't try mine - couldn't face it I guess. Just went ahead and ordered it overseas and going into my third week now. That's exactly how most of us feel about this site when we find it. We just can't believe it and you just sit there going, 'oh my god' over and over and smiling... and feeling so positive for the first time in yonks :D

June 9th, 2006, 03:51 PM
yet another newbie!!

Hi marieuk

welcome. I am also from UK. Yes, it is amazing how many lovely people are on this site. You must have been looking generaly about this problem to have found it, so that is obviously a good thing, because you are facing up to it. It is also good that you have thrown yourself into it, by ordering the stuff. It is good that you are here. Keep in touch and let us know waht is happening.


June 9th, 2006, 08:24 PM
yet another newbie!!

Hi Everyone:
My father died on May 10, 2006. Going to the funeral stirred up layers of pain that years of therapy had mostly put to rest. Several of my sibs behaved outrageously (without alcohol). Their rage and pain was awesome. He was an emotionally detached man, soft spoken and with a talent for cutting sarcasm that was world class. I went to the funeral out of curiosity--he and my mother have been demented for at least four years now--and before that were involved with each other in a paranoid dance that left the kids neglected but possibly better off. So what does this have to do with drinking? I drank heavily (for me) while I was there. Probably no surprise, but once again I had to face what I have known for years--I can't control it. I don't drink a lot, but it's the pattern. I read this over and over in the book and in your comments. The cravings, the trigger for drinking, the blessed relief of the first and second drink, but the humiliation in the morning, the wondering if anyone could tell, and of course the shame that I had let myself down again. After I got home, the drinking continued, and last night in desperation I sat down at the computer intending to contact AA online. Which I did. But I also found this site, and downloaded the book. I have read most of it. Could this be true? You all are saying that it is, so I am going to try it.

I tried Campral, a year and a half ago. It is wonderful. The cravings stopped within two days, and I didn't care if I ever drank again. The relief! Unfortunately, I developed one of the rarest side effects--hypothyroidism. After six weeks or so on the drug, I abruptly fell off a cliff into massive exhaustion, depression, a weight gain of 20 pounds without the food to match, and anxiety. My internist said my thyroid tests were normal, but I could find no other explanation. Like Roberta Jewell, I research everything a lot. Reading used to forestall the drinking! Finally, in January, I saw an endocrinologist who confirmed my research, and I'm back to normal. But I'm afraid to take Campral again--though since I am taking thyroid medication, it probably would be okay.

This idea of drinking in moderation, and of being able to stop! To really say, "No thanks," to a drink and mean it? Wow!

Sorry to carry on so, but it has been a tough month. This site has made my day, though, and I'm definitely going to try this program.


June 9th, 2006, 09:16 PM
Re: yet another newbie!!

Hi Ellen,

Welcome to MWO! I am very sorry for your loss and for what sounds to be a very rough time! I have been on the program for 11 weeks now, and though I have not yet tried moderating there are many people here who have done so successfully and will give you advice about it. I just wanted to say welcome! ;)


June 10th, 2006, 05:28 AM
Re: yet another newbie!!

Hello Ellen

Sorry to hear about your circumstances. I am no expert on moderation as I am only abstaining at the moment. I have been on the wagon now for 13 days, and a lot of that has been down to the inspiration I have received from the book and from the people on this site. I am awaiting the CDs to hypnotise myself to stop wanting a glass by my side. Everybody is different, so I do not know what your drinking habits are. Mine is just taht, a habit. At a certain time of dat a bell goes off in my head saying I must have a frink. I am now drinking alcohol free beer and ginger cordiall. The only initial problem I has was sleeping, that is why I used to drink, to get to sleep. The last two nights I have taken melatonin, which has knocked me for six. Keep reading these boards and you may find someone who is just like you who you can relate to. Good luck. You can do it, because you have tried before. This may be the lifeline you have been looking for


June 10th, 2006, 08:42 AM
Welcome, Ellen...

Welcome, Ellen. I too am sorry for your loss and look forward to working this program together with you and the others I've received support from over the last few days. I'm on day 4. listened to the "clearing" cds for the first time last night and read the book yesterday. Have had 4 drinks total since Tuesday. progress for me. Am trying, like you, to pull myself out of a depression, which in my case has been largely fueled by alcohol. I have to tell you it felt so good to get up this AM, make my kids a beautiful breakfast and feel energetic at the table as we discussed our upcoming day, instead of guilty, wondering if i was going to MAKE IT through the day...

i do hope the CDs work for me so much. i didn't feel like i really got into it last night, can anyone tell me if it takes time to feel like you're "getting it?" i won't give up, i'm very determined this time and again so happy to have found this group...here's to us...

June 11th, 2006, 09:01 AM
one step forward, two steps back

so i was feeling SO great yesterday morning, i wish i could bottle that feeling (no pun intended :) . even had a great, great day but, by evening, was reminded of a couple of incidents that "set me off" lately (very hurtful situation with a couple of friends...even as adults some times we can feel like we're in 7th grade again!) and, with my husband away, there really was no reason (so it seemed) not to drink. i listened to the hypnosis cd earlier in the day and felt confident i could stop at 2 but i didn't. i'm so ashamed, i drank more than i even usually do -- a whole bottle PLUS 2 glasses. i'm devastated and so mortified. clearly i still have so much work to do, i know that, and i'm really determined to get back on track. i'm really sad...and if it wasn't for this site, i'd feel TOTALLY alone...even though there are people all around me...i am praying for the courage and the strength to succeed on this program...for all of us.

June 11th, 2006, 12:26 PM
Re: one step forward, two steps back

Hi Missy, I'll bet there's a lot of us here, that can relate to the "cat's away" atitude...:rolleyes :b I know I always did that... Untill I found this site and got on topa... I was so suprised at myself, the last time my Hubby was out of town... I spent most of my non-working time right here... on these boards, or in the chat room! Didn't even think of getting a bottle of somthing to make me stupid... like I used to always do!:eek :b Quite a change! Stick around, sometimes it just takes a while...;)

June 11th, 2006, 12:35 PM

Hello everyone:
Thanks, Missy, Kirkpl, and Aution(?) for your messages. I have just placed the order for the extreme pack and the CD's. I started Campral again, which works very well (and I'm hoping doesn't make my thyroid condition worse). My last bout, similar to yours, Missy, scared me--hence the Campral, until I get started on the program. I guess, Missy, I wouldn't bother feeling ashamed, except I always do, but it is rather pointless, I guess.:( I have reviewed the Topamax material and other stuff, and I am somewhat scared of the topa. My job requires that I remember at least most stuff and write reasonably well. I think that I am going to discuss with my doctor using naltrexone in place of the topa. If that doesn't help, I'll probably go on to try the topa.
Thanks again. Ellen

June 11th, 2006, 03:34 PM

I was thinking some more about Missy's post--her slip, remorse, etc. That led to my thinking about the situations in which I was vulnerable to drinking, period, and then drinking too much. Missy mentioned a painful reminder or experience with friends--certainly I have experienced that--it seems to me that there can be among some people an absolute refusal to admit, even in safe situations, to problems. Their response if you are foolish enough to admit to yours is judgment (especially with alcohol!), criticism or attack. I was thinking of the years in which most of the people I was surrounded by were like this. This has changed somewhat--I don't tolerate it if I recognize it (and that's a big if), but I do realize that for many years, alcohol was my best friend. It takes away pain (sort of), eases anxiety (while probably being depressing) and lonlieness, and generally made me feel okay. At least until the next morning.

Also, about the cat's away business--I recognize that too. However, when I actually talked about it with my husband he was okay with it--probably relieved. He certainly knew or guessed about some of it. So it's finally out there. I do think he doesn't still know the depth of pain I have felt about this over the years. That is still hard to talk about.

Stay well, Ellen

June 11th, 2006, 04:10 PM
some excellent help

Hi, I don't post much but have the same problems and do MUCH research. Please read the following links. They have so much great information and background to help everyone.
www.lightconnectiononline...colums.htm (http://www.lightconnectiononline.com/Archive/may05_colums.htm)
www.lightconnectiononline...colums.htm (http://www.lightconnectiononline.com/Archive/jun05_colums.htm)
www.lightconnectiononline...colums.htm (http://www.lightconnectiononline.com/Archive/jul05_colums.htm)
www.lightconnectiononline...colums.htm (http://www.lightconnectiononline.com/Archive/aug05_colums.htm)
www.lightconnectiononline...colums.htm (http://www.lightconnectiononline.com/Archive/sep05_colums.htm)


June 11th, 2006, 09:09 PM
Hi P,

I just signed up today and already, I have received some great responses...I have a feeling I was brought to this site for a reason....the welcoming kind people....I feel will be a life boat...Look forward to chatting with you.. :)

June 12th, 2006, 02:38 PM
How do I know I need to be here?

I stumbled across this site from another message board and have been fascinated by the stories and struggles. I wonder if I need this? How do you really know?
My story is that I have no history of alcoholism nor does anyone in my family. I am an active church member and great mom and wife. I only drink wine (I like beer but hate the gas!) It started out with a little glass after the kids went to bed. Then after a couple of trips to Europe and daily wine with the evening meal we started doing that. It was that sophisticated, healthy dinner, some jazz, sharing the day with the family. The only reason I question my being here is that I get really annoyed if we have dinner with someone who doesn't have wine in their home or if we are out and someone wants dinner at IHOP or somewhere that doesn't serve wine. Then I question why does it matter so much. I get through the meal and often do not have wine at home later and am proud that I don't "need it".
One side note is that I don't drink soda (the gas again) and don't care much for iced tea and besides it keeps me awake if I drink it in the evening. Wine is perfect and of course does have some healthy benefits if I just had one glass each night. Some nights though 2 glasses turn into 4.
Feedback please. No matter what I don't want to abstain all together. I would like to look at alcohol like I do donuts. Love them but don't eat them often!
Newbie too

June 12th, 2006, 04:38 PM
to scrapbooker2

Hi Scrapbooker2. I can only say that when I first read what's under "My Story," (follow the link on the site in the top navigation bar), I felt like I was reading my own words. I literally almost fell off the chair and at the same time, felt I'd finally arrived where I needed to be; my reaction was THAT powerful. I don't know how anyone else decided this was the right place for them to start but that's what it was for me...the constant seeking out that much-needed drink, thinking in advance how I would get it, getting annoyed as you say by people who didn't get it and all the while acting publicly like it didn't matter if the host opened another bottle of wine. So that's why I'm here. Officially 1 week tomorrow though struggling. Last two days have been great after a horrible Saturday evening (detailed above). I am trying hard to use the CDs...and even while I'm driving I'm repeating my suggestions to myself...and trying to remember how wonderful it feels to go through a day feeling clear, focused and healthy...my two cents. Off to my kids piano recital. They're playing their first duet together, which I feel like I'll really be able to enjoy :) I hope the next two days are stable for me and everyone else!

June 12th, 2006, 05:46 PM
Re: to scrapbooker2

Hi. I am just starting today. Horrible night last night. Drank 2 bottles of wine(the usual every night) and wrecked my car. Spent the night in jail and am probably getting a DUI. Don't remember anything. I have officially hit my bottom.

I know that i should start abs today, but I already am craving a glass of wine to take the edge off. How sick is that! Should I stop cold turkey? I don't know if I can do it. I need help. I am soooo scared. I don't feel in control. All kinds of thoughts flying through my brain. I want to do this.

June 12th, 2006, 06:27 PM
it can happen only if you try

Hi keeganshea
I've been coming to this board for a little while and dont post much, just read. But what people have to say can inspire you to think about what we are doing /have done to ourselves by overindulging.
I hope everything works out for you. We all have to start somewhere.
at the end of the day trying ,however fast or slow you progress is better than nothing. I struggle everyday and fight everyday, some weeks are better than others, but the better days are becoming more frequent after 10 years of madness and i'm only 32. Give it a go you have nothing to loose. Good luck.

June 13th, 2006, 06:07 AM
Re: to scrapbooker2

Hi Keeganshea,

Welcocme to MWO! I hope you are all right, and that no one got hurt!! I am not so sure about cold turkey. I know for some there is a danger for serious withdrawal symptoms. I do not know if that if that will be a problem for you or not. Are you able to download the book. There is a section in the back that outlines the stages of alcoholism that may help you decide where exactly you fall.

There are alot of supplements involved with program that do help with withdrawal sypmtoms. You can go to the homepage. There you will find a link called "Important Program Updates". It outlines all the supplements used in the program.

I can tell you this program does really work. I just want to make sure that you are safe in the beginning! I know what it is like to be scared, I was there so I hear you! You have made a great first step by coming here! Get the book, start making a plan. There is plenty of support for you here! I hope this helps!! ;)


June 13th, 2006, 11:53 AM
Re: Repost.

Hi Keegan,
Today is a new day, I have not been in jail (Thank god) for wrecking my vehicle. Have put it in the ditch a couple of times, had to walk home in a raging snowstorm, damn near froze to death. Once had to call my boyfriend, who dosen't drink much, I could have drowned, truck sitting half way up in water. I am trying to quit, have not yet but am not drinking as much as I used to. This site is my saving grace. Keep coming, it will help. It's addictive and that is what most of us need to get away from alcohol. Someone to talk to that is just like we are and understands. I have spilled my guts on this site and what a relief it has been.

June 14th, 2006, 09:47 AM
Re: Repost.

I just registered on the post today. Been drinking since I was 14, am 33 now. This past weekend, I remember nothing of Fri, Sat, or Sun. woke up Mon. with bruises all over me from falling down. I don't like myself, what do my kids and husband think. This is the first time I have tryed to quit, but have been to AA (courts, DUI, parents) didn't like it. Was very happy to find this post. My question is, is deciding in your mind to quit enough before the sups and book get here? Is there any sup I should go buy immediatly? I think boredom is my biggest trigger so have signed up for volenteer work to help. I haven't had a drink since Sun. (Wed. now) But am up all night with terrible hot sweats and then goosebumps and freezing- how long will this last. Reading you all has really helped these past couple days-thank you all.

June 14th, 2006, 09:53 AM
Re: Repost.

I discovered this site yesterday. It started with a report on NPR that said that coffee counteracts the effects of alchohol in causing cirhossis of the liver. I found myself thinking, "That's good news. Just drink more coffee." Then I realized how crazy that sounds and I googled "alcholism" and found this site. I was so excited that I downloaded the book. I've been kicking around the site this morning, and I noticed that someone referred to Campral. What is the difference between that and Topamax? I'm planning to make an appt. with my dr., and I want to be prepared. So many of you seem to have had problems with getting doctors to prescribe that it worries me. It takes nerve for me just to post this, and the idea of trying to persuade someone that I need a medication that is not even recommended for the treatment of problem drinking seems pretty intimidating.

June 14th, 2006, 10:00 AM
Re: Repost.


Campral is for abstinance, it is a drug approved to help with alcohol. Topa is not approved for alcohol issues, but it does help with moderation. You may have more luck with Campral since it is approved for this issue. Bring the Lancet article with you to the dr or better yet, drop it off ahead of time so your doc can read it. You should be able to find it under the research tab.


June 14th, 2006, 10:02 AM
Re: Repost.

Thanks, Marcie. What did you do? It sounds like Topa is the better drug for the goal of moderation. Maybe I need to find a doctor that I know is sympathetic to the program.

June 14th, 2006, 10:22 AM
Re: Repost.

Hey Beth welcome aboard & congratulations on 4 days! The worst of it should be about over... hang in there! You should be able to get some L-glutamine at any drugstore(amino acid), and kudzu you might find at a health food store(I got mine off the web-it was cheaper)also Meletonin, to help you sleep, you should be able to get at a drugstore as well.
Hopefully you'll start feeling better any day...if you can a nice soak bath might help. Your skin is one of your bodies biggest cleasing organs. Keep posting & again welcome ... Glad you're here. There's a lot of wonderful people here & some great support. Hugs, Judie

June 14th, 2006, 10:22 AM
Re: Repost.

My doctor did prescribe topa, but I was unable to take it for medical reasons. I now take Campral. Some people have better luck with a psychatrist.

June 14th, 2006, 10:56 AM

hey fsophia -- i heard that npr report too and thought the same thing! how funny! i'm on my second week, day 4 of having nothing at all to drink and i couldn't feel better. it's a cautious optimism because last week i had a setback but i am working so hard. listening to the cds a couple of times a day and repeating my suggestions all day long it seems! i appreciate so much the support i've received during this short timeframe and feel like i belong somewhere for the first time in ages. as i said the other day, it's incredibly freeing to really talk about this stuff for the very first time ever. we all know far too well about hiding our issues...i never even admitted to a close friend that i could polish off an entire bottle of wine in an hour! now to be able to say it to people who won't judge and understand...amazing. here's hoping everyone has a great day, stay strong and keep workin' it!!

June 15th, 2006, 07:38 AM


i ORDERED TOPA FROM A PLACE IN THE U.K. called MAGELLANRX on May 3lst. I paid cash and have not received nor heard from this company.
Anyone heard of MagellanRx?

Is there anywhere else that I can get the topa on line without a prescription?

June 15th, 2006, 10:49 AM
Re: topa

Check out the MEDICATION thread, there are two online companies that have already been tried posted there.

June 15th, 2006, 08:02 PM
Looking forward to the same

Your comments make me realize what I want to accomplish. I have begun to hate myself and the fact that I have to drink every night just to ...what...go to bed? How did I get here...all I know is I want to leave this routine and optimize the beauty life holds in store for me. Thank you for your words ... they are very encouraging.

June 15th, 2006, 08:54 PM
Just stuff

Sorry I can't help with the topa scrip...and Bkincade, your comments are so on target! I hope everyone had a good day. I've been using the CDs for over a week now and i must say i really do feel like they are kicking in. I play the shorter hypnosis one at bedtime, then sometimes a bit of the sleep one. I find myself thinking about this program all the time, seeking out ways to keep it going. Today is my 5th day without a drink at all! Tonight i attended a meeting and for the first time in years, sat there without cursing people who like to hear themselves talk because they were cutting into my drinking time. The clarity with which I see some of these things now is overwhelming...truly. However, I'm still being very cautious. I have a couple of social events this weekend, that will be the true test...wishing everyone a great weekend! Stay strong! I hope I can...

June 15th, 2006, 09:00 PM
day 6 on topa

today is day 6 on topa for me and I am still drinking. not nearly as much as befor but it has not killed the urge so far. i am takin 25 in the am and 25 in the pm. maybe i need to increase the pm dose to 50 or try something else. i feel so weak because i cant beat this stupid addiction!!! i have been having depression which I know the drinking does not help at all but I just can not seem to pull out of it. this is the third time in my life this depression thing has happened to me, last time was 10 years ago. harder this time for some reason. any suggestions or help would be appriciated.

June 16th, 2006, 05:01 AM
Re: day 6 on topa

Hi Jb,

This addiction is a beast that you need to fight from the inside out. Do not feel weak because you are having a hard time. And PLEASE do not feel weak because you are depressed. Get your fighting shoes and get ready to kick some butt!!

You are right in that the alcohol is making the depression worse. Have you tried seeking professional for your depression? I know in the end it is the only thing that helped me with mine. There are amazing medications to help you as well. There is absolutly no reason you need to suffer like this!

As for the topa, I know some people have increased their doses more quickly however I would not make a 50mg increase. I would try and stick to the dosing schedule as much as possible. Perhaps increase 25 mg a few days early, I did that. Someone else may have a different opinon on this. As you get to higher doses you will feel more relief, give it time.

Hey, are you doing any other parts of the program Jb? The supps, the cds, exercise...all of these help with depression and with the drinking. Really, I had both problems quite badly and I don't seem to have either anymore! The clearing cd really helped "clear" alot baggage from life. If you are not using the cds, give it some thought.

I hope this helps Jb. You don't have to suffer alone! There is plenty of help out there for you! Hang in there, it does get better! ;)


June 16th, 2006, 01:06 PM
day 6 on topa

odly enough, today i feel a little bit nor normal. i am seeing a professional for the depression, just started. i take paxil for the depression, was on 10 mg, just increased to 20 about 2 weeks ago. maybe that is beginning to helt also. i am really laxed on the excersize part of it but the last few days i have been forcing myself to do vigorus work around the house and yard. i think it is helping a bit. no cds so far. thanks for the help donna.

June 16th, 2006, 01:11 PM
Try this for the cravings

I do this before I start drinking in the evenings...
I used to start drinking my wine after 5pm and would end up drinking a whole (big) bottle. Now I take my Topa around 5 or 5:30 pm and empty a capsule of L-Glutamine underneath my tongue also. I don't start drinking until about an hour or so later. I have been on the program for 2 weeks now, am up to 50 mg of Topa, take all of the supps and since I've started, only have up to two glasses of wine, or 1 glass of bourbon (lots of ice) or maybe just 1 glass of wine, every night so far. Hope this helps...

June 18th, 2006, 01:19 AM


June 18th, 2006, 05:00 PM
Re: hi

HI there.....welcome!!!! How are ya doing?

June 18th, 2006, 06:43 PM

my husband drinks too much. was wondering if anyone out there can help me or understands this sadness?

June 18th, 2006, 10:36 PM
Re: drinking

Yes we do......re-post on general discussion to get more responses, my dear...we are all trying to tame the beast....Anni

June 19th, 2006, 06:18 AM

Hi every1.

i've tried everywhere to get topiramate from uk drs, but no joy, i'm prepared to get it from US, but terrified about side effects and whether i may have an analphalatic shock from taking it (i'm allergic to lots of medications) Also i'm weening myself off Lustral (sertirizine) for my PMS and depression, so dont know how they will react together??
can any1 please give me some info on this as i cannot get any answers from anyone or anywhere!!
loads of love and thanks.
Ps, i'm awaiting my cd's and supps etc from US and i have read the book, so i'm desperate to get started.

June 19th, 2006, 01:25 PM
Re: help!!

This is my first posting. I found this site 3 days ago (after I had drinks at lunch). My fiance confronted me about my drinking (for probably the umpteenth time) that day. So, now I've decided to actually do something about it. Today is my third day without a drink. The first day wasn't so bad because I was upset/worried/embarrassed about the incident between my fiance and I. But last night I really really wanted a drink. I'm planning on doing this program and hopefully getting on topa. I don't want to say that I won't ever drink again; but for right now I don't want to drink and when I do drink again I want to be able to control the amount. I was drinking about 2-3 bottles of wine each night and 3-4 mixed drinks at lunch time. I also have been throwing up for about 6 months however the docs can't find anything wrong with me (I'm sure it's the alcohol). So, you could say it was a 'little' out of control. :c I hope I can get the support I know I'll need from all of you here. I'm going to order the cd's, supps, and hopefully topa.
I want to say thank you to everyone for your posts as they are very supportive and I hope I can succeed with your help.

June 19th, 2006, 03:46 PM
Hi sandjam

Hi Sandjam,
Glad to hear you want/need help with the evil drink!!
I too drink much the same as you, and it's the reaction from the hubby and kids which actually make me want to drink more (control thing going on i think, with me)
but since accidentally finding this site it has given me SOOOO much confidence in believing that "WE" can beat this thing with all the "tools" we have be given.
So here's to you, I and all "the Gang" who have had the courage to come here with likeminded people to kick this addiction in the butt once and for all!!
No-one said it would be easy but I know that without this site I think it would be damn near impossible, so thanks everyone and keep on supporting each-other.
loves and hugs.
marieuk x
ps i'm still waiting for my "tools" ie, cd's supps etc, but this site keeps me sane while i'm waiting!!

June 20th, 2006, 04:50 PM
Re: Hi sandjam

Welcome sandjam and marieuk,
You will find many many stories like yours here. Get the book, supps, cd's and topa/campral. It does take some personal commitment as well, but we are all there to support you!


June 21st, 2006, 01:01 PM

I didnt realize that night sweats were a symptom of drinking! I am 45 and I thought, going thru early menopause. OK. Now one more reason to be here. Still stupid with all this...!

June 23rd, 2006, 05:44 PM

Hi fellow newbies. Just checking in...did anyone else have trouble registering for the site?? I can't seem to get it to accept a registration. Anyway, it's been I guess about 3 weeks now for me, I've slipped a few more times than I would've liked but in general, have NOT drank more nights than I have and a several of those I was able to stop at the third glass of wine. So, in all, definitely making progress. Feeling stronger for sure. Healthier. Trying hard to do the CDs every day and actually even look forward to them. I am realizing that emotional issues definitely trigger the drinking for me, especially when I feel hurt or anxious so I'm trying to heighten those "suggestions" to help with that as I use the cds. Anyway, wishing I had the nerve to ask for the topa (would love the weight loss aspect too...) but am still trying to go without it.

Hang in there everyone! I think of all of my comrades on this journey every time I pick up the book, listen to one of the CDs or think about this program. Good luck with the weekend, always a tougher time to get through without over-indulging...

June 25th, 2006, 12:33 AM
Re: hey

Well my first full day w/o drinking was last Saturday. I have been pretty much under control since then although I have had a few drinks 3 days in total. But I haven't drank so much as I would have before. I'm still waiting for all of my materials and my topa. I'm really hoping this will work once I get all of the materials together. I hope everyone takes advantage of this site for help and companionship. I have been on this site for over a week now and I just told my fiance about it and the steps I am going to take to 'help' my situation. I just hope I can do this and that everyone's continued support will help.

June 25th, 2006, 08:51 AM
first week done

I have been sober for 17 days and started the supps 7 days ago. I have been on Campral for 17 days, and it seems to work without too many side effects--one seems to be a low-grade headache--but I don't get it all the time.

I do get what I am thinking are emotional cravings (since Campral effectively, supposedly, takes care of the physical ones). Without alcohol, I realize that I am a really anxious person. I knew I was an anxious person, but it seems that I am really, really anxious! Also, I think sadness, tension, etc. seem to serve as triggers--not a great surprise, I guess.

I've used the hypnotherapy tapes every day, thus far. and they are calming, relaxing, and I think they may be working. When I found myself thinking, "I sure would like a glass of wine," this mental override came through--not particularly in words, but just like a "NO."

I was exercising before but have increased it--Pilates--which is relaxing, and aerobic, and oh, my God, spinning! I may not continue with this. It certainly is a work out, and I'm pedalling rather slowly compared to die-hards in the class. It still takes me at least an hour after stopping to cool down. However I have lost six pounds. So.... With the alcohol I am not drinking, I have estimated that, doing nothing else, I will lose 2 lbs. per month. 24 pounds a year, 48 pounds in two years etc. You get the picture. I actually need to lose only about 25 more pounds--so then I can eat the saved calories from alcohol!

Things I have discovered: I added the GABA and the glutamine in the recommended doses--perhaps this helps cravings, it is supposed to--but then I started doing this on the first day so I can't tell what it would have been like without them. I am going up to the new recommended dose on the kudzu as soon as I order a new bottle. I mix the All One in Crystal Lite (I tried three flavors and some needed a touch of Splenda but otherwise were fine). Someone on this board said to put the powder into the liquid--so true--the other way around makes it hard to mix and there are these disgusting lumps. I picked up this cute little thing at Williams Sonoma (probably could get something similar and cheaper at Linens and Things or Target--but this was $20.00) called a 'latte foamer'. I guess this is for all those folks out there who make their own lattes and puzzle about the lack of foam. Their lattes don't look like Starbucks! A tragedy! It is battery powered--so you can take it anywhere--like on vacation which I am going on in two weeks intending to lug my supps, powder, and latte foamer (!) etc. along. It mixes the All One completely in, and creates, you guessed it, foam on top! Almost, but not quite like a smoothie. Add the Splenda and it almost doesn't taste like vitamins. Okay, so this is silly, perhaps, but anything to add some humor to this process. Also this thing makes "whipped cream" if I can call it that, out of skim milk. My son was experimenting on all of the fluids in the house with interesting effects. This is turning into a family project--my daughter said she was so proud of me for not drinking, and my son asked where the wine was (intending to get a glass for me). I went to a party and didn't drink (Campral helps here as one will have a vicious headache--I think worse than any hangover--if one drinks), and it was interesting to watch other people get drunk and silly and to be one of the few sober people there. I don't think I have ever done that in my life. I think the party was even more enjoyable. What a concept!

One last find. Walgreens has this huge pill box. Seven across but only four down (five would be ideal). However, this thing is about a foot long and eight or nine inches wide. It is called a "Divididose," in case you want to try to find it on the Internet. However, it is not something one can easily lug to the office--fortunately, I work at home--but, one could fill up baggies with the daytime doses to be discreet at work. That mid morning handful is a handful and if observed would undoubtedly spark questions. The pharmacist looked at me oddly when I was buying it--and although I didn't have to explain, I did--said it was for my elderly father-in-law--he takes so many medications, don't you know, and it's tough for him to keep them straight. Shame and humiliation--such longtime friends.

A somewhat funny thing. A woman at my spinning class starts every class (I only go twice a week) telling us how many vodka tonics she had the night before and how bad her headache is. I frankly feel sick at the thought of getting on the bike with a hangover! That would be hell! I know the instructor and had mentioned before that I was stopping drinking for awhile to improve my spinning! Yeah! She asked me how it was going, and I said fine (sort of), and this other woman overheard us. So she has stopped drinking. She says I inspire her. I feel like I'm cheating a bit, because without the Campral, the supps, and the hypno tapes, I might be drinking. And this isn't something one can casually drop in conversation--hey, do you drink too much, sounds like you do, so did I, but then found this nice program that has you taking thousands of pills each day and swilling vitamin juice and listening to relaxing tapes, and then maybe, just maybe you might be able to stop, or at least slow it down. Not casual conversation.

Okay, now onto week two!

Ellen :D

June 25th, 2006, 08:18 PM
Re: first week done

WOW Ellen!

Thank You a million times over for sharing all of this with us. What a wealth of information for all of those just starting out. I don't suppose you could start a whole new thread with this. I fear this information that could help so many may get lost here at the bottom of this long thread. You could copy and past into a new one so you wouldn't have to retype it.

It sounds like you are doing so well with the program! I am in just thrilled for you!! Keep up the good work, and great big welcome to MWO!! ;)


Oh, you have to register to edit like that. But if you get registered, you can join in some chats, and you can send and receive ezmails also!

June 26th, 2006, 11:17 AM
Hi I'm a newbie too. Am looking for advice on medication can anyone help? Have been to my Drs today & asked about Topamax but was refused because it is not licenced here in the uk for alcohol cravings! Does anyone know of a reliable source on the internet where I could purchase it from? I was offered acomposate but am worried about the side effects especially weight gain. I have read the book back to front and rearing to go but already feel like I am hitting a brick wall.

Sorry for going on so much, hope someone can advise.
Thank you - Mariashep xx

June 26th, 2006, 12:06 PM
Not sure where a good place is to get the topa, but campral(acamprosate) is a good choice as well. I have no side effects from Campral. Topa does have more side effects, so if that is what you are worried about Campral may be the way to go. I do not think that weight gain is a side effect.

Good luck to you,

June 26th, 2006, 01:43 PM
I understand that you can't drink at all with Campral. Is that true?

I really don't know if I want to go the medication route because I don't believe my craving are physical - it's all mental with me. I feel like I'm missing the party and that something is going on without me when I choose not to drink. Then I get resentful and depressed. I have lots of things I like to do by myself. I love to knit and belong to a knitting group. I am a member of Weight Watchers and often go to the meetings for support (I also work there). However, my hubby likes to work around the house, go to the bar and watch TV - that's it! It's a miracle that I can get him to go to a movie a couple of times a year. Then, after the movie, we head to the bar anyway. He's a wonderful man, but I wish he didn't enjoy his booze so much. He's not worried about it, but sure does affect my behavior.

Thanks for listening to my whining! :happy


June 27th, 2006, 05:10 AM
Hi Barb

Not really sure about drinking on the Campral or not I know you have to abstain completely before starting it. I know where you are coming from about the mental side of things! I feel that my home life is based around alcohol BBQ with neighbours etc... and if I don't drink I have not confidence whatsoever and just sit there like a lemon.
There must be a way round it?
Take care

June 27th, 2006, 11:46 AM
mee too on all this

I have a hard time when everyone else is drinking, I start, then I can't stop......THEN the physical craving (need for alcohol to feel normal again) kicks in.....I actually drink in the AM alot! I am very ashamed of that! But it seems like the only way to "normalize" myself anymore!!:(

My huband drinks every day, and other things too.........all the people at AA would always tell me I need to leave him yada, yada, yada........I don't WANT TO!!! We have 15 yrs and 2 kids and alot together.....hopefully the topa will make me "not care" about him (or everyone else around me, since the whole entire family drink like fish!!)

I am desparate, but on day 2.....I am a newbie too!

Thanks for the topic!

Mary Anne:

June 27th, 2006, 03:38 PM
Re: mee too on all this

Boy does that sound familiar!! I've been in & out of Re-hab, ...Hubby & I agreed to no alcohol in the house... after I got out of treatment. That lasted maybe a month!! If that...:rolleyes He likes his beer... so do I!! And if ya can't beat em.... Join EM!! It's pretty damn hard to not drink when someones sittin right next to you in your own home.. after a hard day of work... crackin' open a cold one...(not to mention, my family... @ gatherings!...)
That's what I LOVE about this program!:h I've found a way, I can actually have a few, and still have my life....:happy ..and be able to function. and be responsible, ...hold down a job, keep my word, be reliable, stay outa jail...Even "like" myself again!:rollin

These past 6 months have been the best I've had in many, many, decades!:P :h :happy ...Judie

June 28th, 2006, 08:04 AM

Thanks, Judie for the encouragement, I am on day 3 w/out anything....still waiting on the topa, read the book cover to cover last night, still don't have the kudzu, but plan to go to a huge healthfood store this Sat....will buy one tape today, so I can start on the hypno..........still don't know how I am going to comfortably do that in my house w/ 2 boys (12 & 14) and hubbie.......very anti-"psychobabble" sorta guy!

With all your support it should be ok though!!

Mary Anne:D

June 28th, 2006, 11:26 AM
Need advice

I am starting week two, and I'm happy and doing well, except for two things. One, I have diarrhea in the morning, and I don't know where it's coming from, (well, I guess that sounded a little strange. I do know where it's coming from, but I don't know what's causing it) and the other is that I have had an arthritis flare-up. I think the arthritis will subside with NSAIDs, but I think maybe it's the neutraceuticals that are causing the diarrhea, and I haven't a clue which one. Dr. Garcia's thread is blocked right now, so I'd appreciate some home-grown advice. Anyone?

June 28th, 2006, 12:51 PM
Re: Need advice

Hi there, I can't speak to the arthritis flare up, but the other may be due to detox symptoms as your body adjusts to the nutrients. Magnesium and vitamin C especially do this in large amounts. If you have fiber, you may want to add a bit in, perhaps some ground flax seeds which will also help with your GLA. As for the arthritis, if you can find some pure bulk MSM and start with 1/4 tsp daily, then go up weekly until the pain and stiffness is gone, it works wonders. It does detox you though, so you may want to go slow if you are experiencing detox from the nutraceuticals.

June 28th, 2006, 10:23 PM
New and not sure

Hi guys,

Been plugging into the messages and so much is hitting home. Every morning I wake up and say to myself (in the bathroom mirror for full effect) "come on you can do it, detox, get your act together etc..) and it works great until around 5:00 pm if I am really good and then the bottle of wine (common drink of choice I see) starts winking at me. I have two young kids, who need Mommy to read bed time stories, help with homework, but I know that I neglect those duties. My husband likes to drink too, so what can I do to get out of this hole. I am a role model in my "other life" I am a personal trainer and exercise instructor and if my clients were to ready this they would be totally shocked. Yes Miss health and fitness is drinking herself to an early grave. I have already had 3/4 of a bottle and can type this with no problem, my tolerance is tremendous which I know is not a good sign. I train others to get fit and watch their diets and cannot help myself, even if I think or know all the reasons why I should not be doing this. Sorry, just had to get it out of my head.


June 29th, 2006, 08:16 AM
Re: New and not sure

B, I know what you are saying. I am an instructor for a weight loss organization - have been at my weight goal for 10 years until, somehow, 20 of my 45 lbs crept back on. I know it was booze. I eat well and exercise (unless booze gets in the way and makes me feel like not doing either). I feel like a hypocrite.

I too have a hubby who likes to drink and just doesn't think much of it. He can drink, and it doesn't really seem to bother him. I see him giving me funny looks when I get up to make myself that third drink. My son also made a comment about it during the school year when we were having a fight about his grades.

Now is the time - I either have to get it under control or quit. There is no good time except right now.


June 29th, 2006, 08:39 AM
me too again

Hey B and Barb:D

Not a fitness instructor, but avid gym attendant, and healty food eater, but BOY can I drink:rolleyes ! I can drink my hybby (or almost anyone in his family)under the table, thought about treatment, detox, tried AA, you name it.........have a meager 4 days(including today!), but feel really GREAT about this program and all the people here...Keep posting and reading, there is hope!! I finally got and read the book, started supps and am waiting for the topamax.......:(

Give this a try, I have read that others drinking won't bother us in a while...can't wait for that!!

Mary Anne:h :P

June 29th, 2006, 10:25 PM
Tonight I went to a workout class instead of sitting...

Thanks for the replies,

Tonight I went to a class at the gym for a workout, because I was going crazy around 6:00pm without my evening drink (shouting at the hubby and kids for no reason except I was cranky). Feeling better, will go to bed soon, without any consumption.. but it's Friday tomorrow so I am going to try hard to moderate at least. This is a great site and I can relate to the messages here. It's good to know that normal everyday people who have decided that they need to do something about drinking are brave enough to face it and try to change.


July 1st, 2006, 03:23 PM

I am also new to this program. I have the book, the supps, the CD's and was ready to go last week, however, it has been a little rocky as I have been drinking heavily every other day. The supps seem to help with hangovers at least. I also really need to stop as I tend to black out when I drink and wake up feeling bad the next day. Last night I even drove my car to get beer! I feel like an idiot for doing that! You all are very inspirational! I will keep logging on to see how you do it and I keep hoping I will succeed.

July 1st, 2006, 03:50 PM
Re: Hi

Hey there Lissa,

We have all been there, so don't feel bad.........driven MANY MANY times when I shouldn't have, that is what is so great about these boards is that you can talk to people who can relate without feeling bad. Just give it a try for today, it is all we have. Did you see a doc yet about the topa?? I took my first dose today, tried to have a beer, it tasted like sh*t and I haven't had another for a while, may have another when my hubby gets here from working, but who knows?? It works so far, had WAY less drinks this week, in fact didn't drink at all Mon-Thurs, without the topamax!! This place and program are great!!:D :h

Mary Anne

Hope to see you back!:P

July 1st, 2006, 05:05 PM

Hi Mariashep, Barb, Mary Ann and of course everyone:

Specifically to your questions about Campral: You are supposed to start it when you haven't been drinking. I'm not sure what that means--possibly that you haven't been drinking on the day you take the Campral. I think the manufacturers don't want anyone to think that it will help with a serious withdrawal--because it won't. I had mild headaches on it initially, but those went away. I had tried it a year ago (without this program) and I thought it was great, but it may have triggered hypothyroidism in me. This is an extremely rare side effect, and I was borderline hypothyroid anyway. I'm on thyroid medication now and started using the Campral and have really had no problem except as above. I can't drink on it--and the cool thing is that I really don't want to. My eventual goal is moderation, but I am staying abstinent for a month and then will cautiously try. When I tried to drink on Campral (two glasses of wine), there was no immediate effect, but I had a terrible headache the next day. Worse than any hangover. Eventually, I want to try Naltrexone which supposedly you can drink on--just no buzz. Also, kudzu apparently prolongs the effect of one drink--so you don't want more. Can't speak from experience with the last two. Topa scares me--I don't need the memory problems. It's probably safe enough--and it sure seems to stop cravings.

I have known several personal trainers who had "substance abuse" problems. Just proves we are all human.


July 1st, 2006, 09:45 PM
Still alive and kicking

It's Saturday night and I am now having a couple of glasses of wine, nothing since Wednesday, but I feel more responsible since joining "the club" it makes me feel a little more responsible (that's what we are looking for, right?). My kids are watching a movie after a day of playing and having fun (with Mom too). I taught my Bootcamp class this morning after having no vino the night before and I really felt "on fire" (the class participants certainly felt my extra energy!! If only they knew why). What does anyone know about GABA? Is it all it's cracked up to be?


July 2nd, 2006, 05:47 AM
Re: Still alive and kicking

Hi there, great going! I've added a bunch of ed posts in the general discussion that you may want to read but gaba is really good for anxiety and calming you down, however, you need to take it with b6 or activated b6 (p5p). It doesn't cross the blood brain barrier completely but you do need it for all of your cells so it does work well. I also use phenibut, which also has theanine. Phenibut crosses the blood brain barrier more efficiently. Anyway, just check out the first two or three pages in the General discussion area for a lot of the background on the aminos, drinking causes, why it's not in your mind, what type of drinker you might by (thiq, allergic, etc,) and some nutritional formulas that can help you with stress, fatigue, anxiety, etc, in addition to the current all-in-one. Again, great going on the exercise! Kick butt!

July 2nd, 2006, 12:20 PM
Hi I'm a newbie!

Hello everybody!
I have just found this site this morning and am totally unable to stop reading all your stories. I am not alone. I have tried so often to stop, but it never lasts more than 3 days at the most. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am afraid that I have drank enough to have procured peripheral neuropathy, a condition that feels like you just fell into an enormous anthill and all the beasts are actually living under your skin. I am a good 40 pounds overweight, my stomach is visibly extended and only male size sweat shirts can hide some of it. Every morning I great myself in the mirror with such disgust. Ain't it a great way to start the day.
Do you think there is hope for me after all these years.

July 2nd, 2006, 09:07 PM
Re: Hi I'm a newbie!

Where are all the med posts in the general discussion? Can't find them.

July 2nd, 2006, 09:16 PM
second week done

24 days sober! Campral definitely helps.
When I have 30 days in, I'm stopping the Campral and will see how moderation goes.
I'm using the basic program of supps plus glutamine, gaba, and now I have increased the kudzu. So now I won't know what's doing what, but I don't care if the demon is controlled.
Going on vacation this week, and dragging the supps, the All One, my "latte foamer" (mixes the All One very well), with me. I refuse to take the huge pill box and got envelopes of various sizes today to organize the pills by time, day and week. It's a good thing that this part only lasts for six weeks. I really like the hypno tapes and may continue using them.

Still spinning too! Damn!

July 3rd, 2006, 06:52 AM
Here are the links to the meds and educational posts in GD.

It's not all in your mind! Nor lack of willpower
p095.ezboard.com/fmywayou...1365.topic (http://p095.ezboard.com/fmywayout62668frm9.showMessage?topicID=1365.topic)

What kind of Drinker am I? (quiz)
p095.ezboard.com/fmywayou...1364.topic (http://p095.ezboard.com/fmywayout62668frm9.showMessage?topicID=1364.topic)

This gives some excellent background for nutrition, diet, etc.
links...p095.ezboard.com/fmywayou...1294.topic (http://p095.ezboard.com/fmywayout62668frm9.showMessage?topicID=1294.topic)

Additional nutrition formulas for stress, fatigue, etc.
p095.ezboard.com/fmywayou...1363.topic (http://p095.ezboard.com/fmywayout62668frm9.showMessage?topicID=1363.topic)

Dry Drunk/Sugar Cravings
p095.ezboard.com/fmywayou...1392.topic (http://p095.ezboard.com/fmywayout62668frm9.showMessage?topicID=1392.topic)

THIQ in the BRAIN, why some can't stop drinking
p095.ezboard.com/fmywayou...1393.topic (http://p095.ezboard.com/fmywayout62668frm9.showMessage?topicID=1393.topic)

July 3rd, 2006, 07:25 AM

Don't think nobody cares!! I hope you get to read this soon!:D There is help, start with downloading the book, go all over the web site and explore.......read a bunch of posts!! Get the supps and topa (it has worked so far and only taken 3 days worth!!) exercise(that wll help w/ the weight!!:happy )

Also, one side effect you may have from the topa is weight loss, I haven't had a decrease in appetite, in fact have an increase so far, but only on 25 mg: ;)

You will meet sweet and caring people on this site, so keep posting and register, it is easy and free!!

Mary Anne:P :d

July 3rd, 2006, 10:37 AM
Hi Mary Anne,
Thanks for the support. I am so hopeful today. I only had one drink late last night and of course I only slept about an hour.
I am in a really good mood today (almost feisty!). I have ordered the book and the disks and can hardly wait for them to come. I can feel in the pit of my stomach that this has to work for me. I am a very private person, but I know that I will need all of your support in this.
Thanks soooooooooooo much for your comments,
Kind regards.

July 3rd, 2006, 12:43 PM
Hey there Lori,

I am a VERY private person too:( , hence, why AA didn't quite do it for me! Standing up in front of everyone (or sitting and talking) HOW devastatingly horrible!! You will get all the support you need here, hopefully!! I check and post as often as possible, not always as sometimes I am busy at work, but today I am BORED beyond tears......Keep me posted as to how you are feeling, it is 1:45 PM EST where I am, and I will be here another 3 r so hours just goofing off!!
:p :

Mary Anne

PS: Glad you are feeling better! Sleep will come!!:) :h :d

July 4th, 2006, 02:36 PM
I'm a newbie!

Hi Maryann,
finally got back from a stupid meeting. Had a bad day yesterday. Lost a deal, had a complaining client and another potential deal is down the tube and ended up having 3 drinks. What's this about 5:00 in the afternoon. Thats when I get antsie. That's also about the time that my husband tinkers his ice cubes into his glass - can hear it all over the house. He drinks his fair share, but I think I am drinking more than him now. He thinks he does not have a problem, but I know otherwise now. I wonder if neuropathy is reversible in the long term. Also found something somewhere that says that one cannot work off the extra calories from alcohol. I believe it. Am looking forward to the books and CD's. How does one turn off ones brain???? I am always going a 100 miles a minute. I need some peace and hope. Lori.