View Full Version : Can't sleep...visions of blackout moments

February 18th, 2008, 03:43 AM
Hey everyone. I just moved during which I drank continuously for 5 days straight from the time I got up , to the time I passed out and in the middle of the night when I would wake up I would take 3 or 4 shots and go back to bed.. The end result, was me trying to have lunch with my family and going into a severe panic attack that sent me in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. I told the doctors and nurses that I wanted to stop drinking, and the support was AWESOME. The doc is referring me to an addiction specialist sometime this week and we'll talk about some of the options I could do. He even hugged me! This was not the response I was expecting! I thought looks of horror would wash across every face in the room. But no, I was treated with respect and dignity! The doc also told me that being an alcoholic is a disease. and not to be ashamed or feel guilt. He said if you had any other disease, would you beat yourself up? Wow I never thought about it like that.

So anyway I originally wanted to confess some of the things I did during my blackout-stage, so that maybe it would let me get some sleep, instead of letting then run through my mind and keeping me up.

1. I tripped and fell, it was so bad I wasn't able to move for several minutes. My body is covered in deep blue bruises.
2. I had a bottle 1/2 vicodin pills and 1/2 codeine pills, which I can't find, but the bloody noses I keep getting could be a sign that I snorted them
3. I walked (stumbled) around the city, at night harassing homeless people and anyone who would get in my way.
4. I think I attempted to apply for a second job.... but this is very foggy ( so I have no idea where I should never show my face again.)
5. I fear I might have spoken to my new landlord in an unfavorable manner, however I think this could be a dream or a hallucination. ( how do I recover from this? or find out if I actually did?)
6. I think I might have tried to buy more AL! and said some horrible things after being refused service.

Well, that pretty much sums it up... hopefully this confession will help me let it go and get some sleep, which I DESPERATELY need!
Any tips on what I can do?

February 18th, 2008, 04:19 AM
down2earth, I`m sorry you`ve had such an ordeal, but so glad you are going to get the kind of help we all need or have needed in the past. Glad you are here.

Starlight Impress x

February 18th, 2008, 04:29 AM
Hi Down2earth, been there, done it all - horrible, horrible feelings/flashbacks. Not knowing what was real and what you dreamt also ...... no way of knowing until you get some feed back I'm afraid.... With you all the way, I so relate to what you posted you are very brave owning up to that. If you still aren't sleeping try writing it all down, I know I keep saying things like that but it really helped me to write it down and I still keep a notebook by my bedside to log dreams, thoughts etc. Wishing you rest.


February 18th, 2008, 05:00 AM
Thanks, I think it just helps being here, and knowing i am not alone.

February 18th, 2008, 05:21 AM
Down2earth, never forget you are NEVER alone, we are all around you always.


February 18th, 2008, 07:04 AM
down2 earth, Nope, not alone. I have wondered if I had a dream or really did something. And too scared to ask about it. Too ashamed I guess is a better description. I don't want the feeling of thinking to myself do I say I was drunk and don't remember if I..... So I'm here trying to sort things out and get sober. You can too

February 18th, 2008, 10:51 AM
It sounds like you are on the right road to recovery. Just look forward, don't look back, you've got to focus all of your energies on each present day to beat this thing. You have a geat attitude and you can do it!

February 18th, 2008, 11:20 AM
hi there down2earth.. you are not alone . i have been thinking the same .. so give your best .and keep on posting .good luck.and for the sleep take some sleep aid ..advil pm works really good

February 18th, 2008, 12:38 PM
Hi Down: so sorry about your ordeal. yes, been there about wondering, "did I dream it, or do it?" don't worry about it until you feel better. hope you got some sleep.:l :l

February 18th, 2008, 01:35 PM
Down2earth, first a big congrads for getting on the road to wellness!

in addition to your regular multi-vitamin I would immediately start taking supplements of B1 (thiamine) at least 500mg per day and also take a magnesium supplement 300-500mg per day (it may give you the runs but your body is badly depleted right now) and at night 1300mg of calcium. these things will also help with brain function and your sleep.
be well!!!

February 18th, 2008, 03:03 PM
I think you writing it all down for everyone to see might have helped. And everyone is right.....you're not alone!

February 18th, 2008, 03:25 PM
Thanks for all the advice. I don't know what I would do if I hadn't found this web-site and all of you.

betty boop
February 20th, 2008, 10:40 AM
Down2earth, I only just saw this, I too have been there ......... I made the mistake of confessing to my parents, only to be told, 'but no one wakes up and drinks in the night' !!!!!

Yep right, I then found this place and found out that I wasnt alone, you can do this I promise .........

Stay strong you will feel better soon ......... :l :l :l

February 21st, 2008, 07:50 PM
Hi Down! how are you doing ?

February 22nd, 2008, 11:17 PM
Hi down2earth,
It has been awhile since I have posted here, so I guess I am new again.
WOW ! You could have been talking about me although I was on a two week self
medicating as I refer to it, and had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. Anyway I was treated well by the doctor very compassionate.
But he said I had to stop drinking. I was so sick. Anyway I have been using benedryl and B-6. But I still don't sleep well I guess it just takes time.
Anyway take care and let me know what works for you.


February 24th, 2008, 02:03 PM
Hugs to you Down2earth and don't be surprised to feel really depressed from the withdrawal, ashamed, etc, etc...also I hope that your therapist will consider topomax to help your cravings because it REALLY helps to take them away. Even if you decide to become a moderation drinker in the future. Be well and remember you don't have to do this yourself, other people are there for you!!!! :)