Is it wrong.....?

[keeta]

Is it wrong to not be certain you should have married someone? (i am 40 yrs old, and first marriage)

Is it wrong to want attention beyong being told I haven't cleaned something, or finished dinner yet?

Is it wrong, I want an hour to myself to decompress after a day of kids, and cleaning etc?

Is it wrong, I want a best friend and unconditional love? (when I give it the best I can?)

Is it wrong, I look after 6 kids, 7 dogs, 5 cats a husband and a rabbit, and no-one ever says "good job, Kim"?

Is it wrong I am feeling sorry for myself AGAIN?

I don't know what I am doing wrong?

I try so hard to be the perfect "everything"...I fail.

I am so sad right now..I wish I could just learn to do things right...so I could be a lovable person...

crap...sorry...pity party again...I am pathetic

[Ripple]

Is it wrong.....?

keeta, you have the 'right' to all the above, who is telling you it is WRONG?

~Ripple~
:l

[keeta]

Is it wrong.....?

my husband, ripple

[keeta]

Is it wrong.....?

And he is king of the universe holding court with all the kids, and I am satan/lousy wife/mother/cook/you name it/...because I want his attention...
Fuck...I could take a header off the bridge and no one would care for long....

[keeta]

Is it wrong.....?

not that I have the guts, cause I don't...but I still picture it...a big ole nose dive, away from my pain...ahhh...if only it were so easy.

[keeta]

Is it wrong.....?

AND.....

dinner isn't ready yet, and I now have people telling me how hungry they are...including hubby saying I should have planned better...I can't do this any more...I can't handle failing time and again....I don't belong here, cause I fail...I don't belong anywhere...and that truely SUCKS....

[Thankful]

Is it wrong.....?

Keeta, take a deep breath. That's not just an expression, seriously breath deeply for a few. Life is overwhelming sometimes.

Go easy on yourself. No one is perfect and you sound like you are driving yourself nuts trying. Six kids? Assign chores. All the experts say as young as 5 yrs can do chores. Ask you hubby to help you make out a fair schedule and ask him to back you up. This is not just giving you help, it's important that the kids learn repsonsibility. Relax, hun. Give your self a break.

Sounds like you really need to have a heart to heart with hubby. If you can't be honest about your feelings then you just may be married to the wrong person. However, you can not be mad at him if he has no idea why. It doesn't work that way.

Good luck. We are here for you.

Love, Me
:l

[dexterhead]

Is it wrong.....?

Hey Keeta, sweetie, you belong here, we love you!!!
Can you talk to hubby honestly?
You sound very overwhelmed.I've never had kids, so I'm not the best to give advice. BUT, you definitely deserve to be appreciated, loved, and have a little time for you.
Marriage is so damned complicated, I know ... it's about tradeoffs, and that's just the begining of the complex dynamic.
Keeta, we love you and we want you to be happy. You are our 3 cats missing/happy ending Keeta!!! Please let us know what we can do:h :h :l

[Victory]

Is it wrong.....?

Take a break girl and let him work it out

Keeta are you feeling used and abused? Time to stay with family or friends for a week or two until he realises just how much you do. He may even find some appreciation for all your hard work. Good luck. :h

[Ripple]

Is it wrong.....?

sounds like the relationship is toxic. been there, done that..you need some love and acceptance from your husband & he needs to work with you through these times. mine would run away and use the excuse I have to work, so i would spend all the money. its hard when we are stuck with wimps.

sorry...
~Ripple~
:l

[Preciouspinot]

Is it wrong.....?

It sounds like you are being taken for granted. If you let people treat you like a doormat, they will wipe their feet on you. You have to stick up for yourself and say enough is enough. They are not going to magically wake up one day and admit wrong doing. Love and take care of your family but, set LIMITS. You can do this with a firm but, kind hand. You will gain their respect by doing so.

[keeta]

Is it wrong.....?

everyone is fed.now I can be alone because he doesn't want anything to do with me....I can't do this any more......I need to be loved.....that bridge is looking better and better

[Ripple]

Is it wrong.....?

are you serious about the bridge? that is awful scary & manipulating for readers. you have to do something...make the first move and give him a hug. maybe he is like my man, another child, the oldest, who needs security and my comfort in order for me to get it. i am powerless with alcohol, therefore i rather not do it anymore. he has to live with me sober and spend less time with me doing what he likes best.....drinkie...and i can live just well without him. throwing the bottle away for me is the strength knowing how much it has fucked up his life. DON"T JUMP FOR HIM.

sorry for the rant...
~Ripple~
:l

[Noelle]

Is it wrong.....?

Before you jump, think about your kids, okay? What would happen to them?

Are you going to "let" him make you do something like that? Because he can't, only YOU can.......so again, what would happen to you kids??

[keeta]

Is it wrong.....?

Noelle, thanks for killing my pity party.sheeeeeeeeeesh