Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

The first of the month is such a motivator. If anyone needs an impetus to start anew, today would be a great day to do it. Because I'm writing this thread after 1 AM (insomnia again), I was the first person to fill in a zero for the month of March in DrinkTracker. It feels good to know I'm not going to drink today. I'm having a luncheon w/friends later, & they're bringing the wine. However, I'm planning on having them leave w/any unfinished bottles. I'm not at a place in my program when I can have open bottles in the fridge.

Deter: I hope you did okay out to dinner w/your wine-tasting friends. I've found that I can enjoy good food accompanied by selzer or water. I never really drank for the taste of the wine anyhow. It was always for the effect it had on me.

I must admit that I have to fight that old enemy of mine: denial.
-"I'm not really that bad, am I?"
-"I've never crashed my car, gotten arrested, lost a job, etc. etc."

What I usually try to do is give myself a healthy dose of reality to counteract the denial.
-"Normal drinkers do not drink whole, big bottles of pinot by themselves in one day."
-"Normal drinkers do not pass out, black out, or get violently hungover."

I just hope the bad thinking diminishes w/time. I get tired of talking myself out of it. On a brighter note, it is getting easier to talk myself out of it. That's progress.

Have a great sober weekend everybody. I'll check in later. Mary

[Cinders]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Mary, Up with you. Sigh. Love the insomnia thing..

Yes, that chatter in the brain that tries to tell you it is "Okay" to drink. I am sure we all hate it but know we must fight it. Just part of the deal.

Like you, Mary, I simply cannot have booze in the house. Period. If I do, I will consume it and it seems that no matter how much or how little is in the house, I will consume it.

So, to stay sober, I know I must keep this house AF.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Cindi: Part of my progression into alcoholic drinking was drinking to fall asleep. However, it was shallow, fitful sleep. So, just a few hours of sober sleep is better than drunken sleep.

I hope the Chantrex is working for you. I'm sure the smoking is tied somehow to the drinking. Perhaps if you break one, the other will go too. I know that sounds simplistic. Keep trying. I'm just grateful you are still here. Let us know how things go w/the doc on Mon. The Antabuse is a big step...especially for an older person (please don't take offense at that). It's just that everything has side effects. But, if you need to do it, at least until you can break the hold alcohol has on you, then do it...if the doc says ok.

Good luck. I think of you often...& Adrienne of course. I know from my alanon experience that we can't control what our grown kids do. Take care of yourself. You've got your hubby & g-kids to think about too. They need you.

Mary

I hope this doesn't sound like a guilt trip.

[universal]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Mary, I took your advice and decided to jump in here too.

The start of the month is a great motivator for me - a new chance to start fresh.

I will not drink today.

Love and Hugs,
Uni

[Cinders]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Mary,

No guilt trip at all. My counselor reminds me that sobriety is my number one priority because all the rest will fall without it. It truly makes sense, kind of like on the airplane where they tell you to put your air mask on first before assisting others...

Unfortunately, I won't be able to get Antabuse until March 14th, which is a long time away, because that is my appt with my shrink.

Monday is with my doctor. I am going to request liver enzymes, etc, so that before I go to shrink I will know if I CAN take the Antabuse, I know it can hurt the liver and she wants to check up on B12 (gastric bypass thing.)

I am excited like a little kid about the Chantix, though!! I do think they go hand-in-hand for me.

I am hanging in there, though. Hubby is helping.

Uni, glad to see you jumping in!! We can do this, girl!!

Love to all,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

tk: Thank you for this post. I read it at just the exact moment I needed to. I can't tell you what a gift it was. Mary

[aquamarine]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Hi Everyone. I haven't posted in awhile, but I'm going to try and stay AF for March. I feel like I have come pretty far since I started here- but not far enough. I still have that complete "brain takeover" and drink a bottle of wine about once a week. I don't blackout, or get sick with that- like I used to on a regular basis when I could consume more frequently. But I know know know that I have to totally give it up. I'm postive of that.
TKeene- I've done that same thing with vodka! I think this "thing" is so ingrained in my brain that it is almost impossible to get out for good. You know- if I were allergic to peanuts say- I know for sure I would never eat a peanut again even if I loved them. There would be no possibility of that . So what's the difference? I'm not trying to sound negative but as much as a I really want an AF life I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to do it.
Thanks for listening! Aquamarine

[retteacher]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Aqua: Keep coming. This thread is very encouraging. M

[Determinator]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Happy Saturday ABlanders!

TKeene, fantastic posts! I can so relate in many ways. something has changed for me as well and alcohol is not being processed by my body in the same way.

Hi Aquamarine, nice to see you here
Universal great chatting with you last night
Cindi, so glad you are hanging in there dear
Mary, so true. if you were to hand a big bottle of wine to a normal drinker and say: "here drink the whole thing" they would shake their head in disbelief. sigh. we must embrace the fact that we are different.

Party last night was a HUGE success and break through for me. I was lively, happy, relaxed and found it easy to be AF. I stayed awake and didn't retreat to my "dark place" as I would have done if drinking.
i enjoyed the company of all and they enjoyed my company. What a nice night thanks to being AF

be well friends

[Thankful]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Hello, eveyone.

To all ~ I hope this finds you all healthy and happy. Welcome to all the new comers. I hope you get what you need from this thread. There's always a lot of great advise here.

Sorry I haven't posted for a couple of days. Been sick in bed. I was on Wed night (in chat actually) and I wasn't there 5 minutes when I started to feel really weak all of a sudden. I checked my temp and sure enough I just broke out with a fever. Woke up the same way, so finally went to ER. I obvisously was not going to shake this illness off. Good news is that it's only acute bronchitis. So they have me on cough syrup w/codine and an antibiotic. Suppose to be in bed for 2 more days, but I had to get up for a little while. I think the fever may finally be gone, but it seems to come and go.

Still feel great from finally being able to give away those beers I told you about. Still can't seem to get over how good that felt. That alone gives me so much motivation.

I'll get back to my regular routine asap. I just had to check in today as I miss you guys so much!! Take care.


Love, Me
:l

[Lefty]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

March-ing

To celebrate my second day here...I'm considering going AF for March. I'm checking in to Shick Shadle two weeks from tomorrow. Going in AF for the two previous weeks would be such a great head start. It means dumping the 3/4 of a bottle of merlot sitting on the counter...which I would have consumed if I hadn't been chatting with some new friends on this site last night.

I'll spend the day thinking about it. I think I can commit to not buying anymore, but I'm not sure I can dump that bottle.

[Janice]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

What a night!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi everyone, just managed to get the computer to myself today and its 8.30pm!!!! Had an amazing night last night. Went to an evening wedding reception, and had the best night out I've had in years, and I mean years.

It was day 3 for me yesterday, and I didn't touch a drop last night!! Whats more, I danced and danced and danced till my husband dropped - yep, had to drag me off the dancefloor at 12.30!!!! Dancing was amazing. I have never felt so confident, so free, so HAPPY!!! I looked all around me and the majority of people were either very much under the influence (some having been there all afternoon as well) or well on their way!!! What an eye opener it was for me!! At one point, I just looked around and thought to myself "I want to tell all my MWO friends about this fantastic feeling!!".

Got a family wedding at the end of March - can't wait!!

Day 4 for me today, got up at 7am and went swimming (that wouldn't have been possible after last night if I'd had a drink!!). I can't tell you how motivated last night has left me. Instead of feeling "poor me, I can't have a drink" I came away feeling I'd had the best night since....well, I can't remember for years. I actually had the confidence to dance with a bunch of women who I'd never met in my life while my husband was talking with colleagues, I was singing to Gloria Gaynor "I will survive!!" and all the actions. Little did anyone know I was singing about AL!!! "Go on now GO!! Walk out that door, don't turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore..."

Haven't felt tempted at all today, I want to savour that feeling, I don't want to go back.

Off to catch up on all today's posts now. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. Love to you all....

Janicexxx
__________________

[Cinders]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Today's thread gives me so much hope and a great sense of relief.

Thank you Mary, tkeene, Det, Janice, Thankful and everyone else.

There is light at the end of this tunnel and it is NOT a train, it is light and hope.

Thank you, all of you,
Cindi

[Beck]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Hello everyone,

The mind can really play tricks on you. Mine keeps saying that I have been AF for 27 days - can't really be that much of a problem. I have to remember that it has taken me 3 years to get this sober.

I too have switched my poision a few times - unfortunately, I really liked vodka - it was my "hidden" drink. Wine and beer were much more socially acceptable.

Good AF weekend to you all.
Beck

[Determinator]

Sat. - March 1 - Daily Thread

Janice, what a wonderful post! yeah!!!! that's how I felt last night at the party I was at.

Lefty, it was a hoot chatting with you last night. if you are not chemically dependent with the need to taper down then poor the crap out and don't buy anymore! if you need to taper down then you know your self better than we do....just be careful. glad to hear you are going to Shadel...love to hear how that goes.

Cindi, yes there is light