View Full Version : On the deck....

March 2nd, 2008, 12:41 AM
On the deck?

Sometimes it just hits you. Sometimes it just comes in so crystal clear, and you know it has been worth the trouble. I had one of those moments this evening.

Today the weather was beautiful here. I worked outside in the yard, and played with the dogs quite a bit. I ran those dogs until all their rambunctious exuberance was spent. They settled down and needed to rest after I paid them the attention they always crave. The little beasts that they are.

So I had the urge to hit the treadmill again later on, and I pushed hard again. I set a new personal distance record for a 30-minute program of intervals. I am working to get a 10K run in before this year is out, and training hard to condition myself for that.

I was drenched in perspiration after the run, and immediately decided to walk outside on the back deck where the air had cooled off, and the sun had just gone below the horizon. A slight cool breeze was enough to dry me, but not chill me. The last light of the day was fading, and the stars started winking on one by one. My entire system was still intensely fired up, and my senses were very much heightened naturally. The trees are still bare from winter, and I could feel them just beginning to stir somehow, preparing to wake and grow leaves.

I think I was charged up with all those natural endorphins and things, and I could almost feel the blood and oxygen pulsing painlessly in my brain, and flowing through my lungs picking up the oxygen from the cool night air, and charging my system with goodness.

Everything was just right, and as the last sunlight faded, and the constellation Orion came into view, all was perfect. I was part of it all for once, just like it was when I was a little kid. I felt like I belonged in the universe for once.

I was completely, and totally, without a doubt sober. Every cell was sober and alive. Damn it felt good. I have not felt this particular sensation since before I began my descent in the fog of drinking. The healing and recovery is ongoing.

Just had to write this, because the good things are not written about often enough. Just a simple sensation of what the booze takes away so quickly from us, and takes so much time and effort to recover.

807 days alcohol free

March 2nd, 2008, 07:39 AM
Neil, that's beautiful. Truly. I felt the combination of peace and vibrancy. Thanks very much for sharing.

meditation mama
March 2nd, 2008, 07:48 AM
Fantastic, Neil! Absolutely fantastic.. I could feel it.

Thank you.



March 2nd, 2008, 09:11 AM
Very nice Neil,

I could feel your energy connected to this universe and the true beauty of what is all around us. Thanks for the lift.

March 2nd, 2008, 10:02 AM
Goosebumps. I remember that feeling! Like Peter Pan remembering how to fly. I want it back! Thanks.

March 2nd, 2008, 10:32 AM
Wow! Neil!!

Thank you for this eloquent and inspirational start to my Sunday! It made me break out it a huge smile!!
It truly is the normal, most common things in life that make us feel alive!! And joyful!! Things that we can only notice and appreciate with clear minds and healthy bodies!

Thank You!!

Carpe Diem!!!

March 6th, 2008, 09:00 PM
Nice imagery Neil. sounds like a good day and good feelings.


Finding My Self
March 7th, 2008, 03:53 AM
Neil - that's lovely....thanks for taking us to your evening.

It's great isn't it....to be really 'there' (or 'here') and, what's more, not to want, and realise one doesn't need to add in, a drink for any reason whatsoever. That everything is right there in us, for us and out there when we stay open.

It sounds a beautiful place - both in your back yard and in your heart!

Finding My Self. xx

May 15th, 2008, 05:31 PM
I wanted to drop you a line to say thank you.
Last summer I followed your roadtrip....I was struggling hung onto every word. It was like a novel that I was addicted too! I felt like I as there with you....
You are and excellent writer and and inspiration to us all.
Congrats on your 807 AF days!!!

May 20th, 2008, 10:38 AM
Hi golf4me:

Good to know that you got a charge out of my "Journey into Sobriety" road trip log. I had a blast on that trip, and enjoyed writing about it immensely. Perhaps a retirement vocation, when I am done with my
engineering career?

I am starting on my 900 day essay shortly. Don't post as much as I used to, but I still return here frequently to read up on how things are. A lot has changed since I started.

Still lurking.

887 days AF

May 20th, 2008, 11:18 AM
I missed this thread somehow back in March but am so glad to have read it today Neil.

I was part of it all for once, just like it was when I was a little kid. I felt like I belonged in the universe for once.

I think my searching for this state of consciousness has in itself blinded me and I need to just let go sometimes and live in the moment; IT will come to me.

Love and Happiness