I need to let rip

[hippie37]

I have just had the best day with my daughter which had me on such a high but my ex has just dealt me a low blow with not allowing me to see her other than alloted days due to some fucking bullshit about my daughter's routine. I didn't get to see her last Saturday because she was ill and she was really upset so the plan was to see her a bit more regularly even if that just meant a few hours every other day. She has now gone in the completely other direction and is saying "WE" i.e her and her new partner don't want to upset her routine as such. I'm absolutely fucking livid and cannot understand her mentality at all and this sudden "WE" approach. If my daughter misses me and wants to see me then I should be able to do so for her sake. Fuck this routine lark or EXCUSE as I see it. I've tried diversion tactics as far as my thinking goes and tried to calm down and I've tried to see this logically but I just can't. I am so fucking pissed off right now that i just needed to let it out here. I've never ever felt like this before and it does literally feel like I've been kicked in the bollox. I've been sat hear stewing over this for hours, I've been on youtube watching some music vids and other sites but i cannot get this anger and hurt out of my head. Nothing is working so I thought I'd vent it here FINALLY and try and put it to rest.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Cinders]

I need to let rip

Hippie,

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I can't offer much advice except to recommend you stay calm around her mother and her new SO. Antagonizing her won't help.

I can't imagine the pain of not being able to see my children whenever I wanted to. :l

Love,
Cindi

[happydog]

I need to let rip

Hi Hippie,

Sorry if i read this to late, but just to let you know i really feel for you. I Hope you have calm down. Just reading your post i could feel your anger and your blood boiling. You are a really good dad that always wants to be there for your own daughter. she cannot take that away from you. (I know there are some that are never there for there own kids)...just hope things works out ok for you. As cindi said stay calm around her mother.
Stay strong and calm.

Love
Teardrop.x

[Noelle]

I need to let rip

What did you do to piss off your ex-wife? Think about that and and then see what you can do about it. Or you can tell us, and we ALL can think about how you could handle your ex so that you can see your daughter more often. She's punishing you for something.

I think it sucks big time that you can't see your daughter. Is visitation determined by the courts or your ex?

[tea]

I need to let rip

HIppie, I am crying for your pain here. Although I don't have children myself a member of my family who I was very very close to has stopped me from seeing their children because I fell out with their mother in law....... family can hurt you right to the core of your being. Hope this passes for you.

Lxx

[wimpey]

I need to let rip

Oh Hippie, I feel for you right now.........easier said than done I know but try and calm down....stay level headed.......and go along with what ever bull shit games they are playing......it's wrong to use kids as pawns, but some "grown up's" do........please dont rise to this one......they probably want you too!

W

[Captnjack]

I need to let rip

Hi Hippy'
take care to have them taken from us hurts .

[Guest]

I need to let rip

Hi there, I am going through a seperation/divorce as well. I personally would never keep my child away from the father unless I thought it was not a good situation for her. But, there are lots of spouses out there who use the child as a means of control and it's not a nice thing to do, and they don't realize that the one who ends up hurting the most is the child. Keep your comments and conversations to her at a minimal, and get a lawyer. You will need to start keeping track as you may need to fight for custody (either full or joint) in court if it goes down that road. I am prepared for that now. It's not fun or easy in anyway, and having your child used against you is the lowest thing someone could do to another. Be strong, and be smart. You'll have to start looking one step ahead. The courts don't fool around when children are involved.

p.s...sorry, I know this is the guys corner.

[Captnjack]

I need to let rip

Gia
Such wise words thanks

Danny

[tlrgs]

I need to let rip

i can totally relate i feel the same way about my two sons its like one minute they love me and the next they want nothing to do with me . and it has alot to do with their mom. but anyway take it easy and stay calm it will all happen in good time . look at it this way its more time for you to help yourself even more . just keep on doing what you are doing to make things right and they will come around . stay strong god bless you

[Captnjack]

I need to let rip

Hi hippy,
I feel for you for a dad to have others dictate when he can or cant see his daughter is heart breaking its not bloody right. take care in knowing she loves you.
Danny

[trixietrack]

I need to let rip

so sorry hippie. i have a lot of women friends who use their children as a way of controlling their exes. I can never figure out why they don;t realize that it's hurting the child.

also it ends up backfiring because when the child is older they will resent the parent who was keeping the child from seeing the other parent.

I also have noticed that on the average, it is women who play this game. I think it's good that you are venting your anger here, then you can be as cool as a tomato when you see the ex and your little girl won't see an angry daddy.


stay strong, you have a right to be angry.

[Heavenly]

I need to let rip

[QUOTE=trixietrack;294277]so sorry hippie. i have a lot of women friends who use their children as a way of controlling their exes. I can never figure out why they don;t realize that it's hurting the child.

also it ends up backfiring because when the child is older they will resent the parent who was keeping the child from seeing the other parent.

Yep .... I second that !
I have also done it myself to a certain extent .... until I had a wake-up call and changed/ing my ways... hopefully my husband can see the changes too, maybe she will realise too. Hope so.

Heavenly

[JackieB]

I need to let rip

My advice is to be consistant in showing your daughter how much you care. Kids can be smart, and in the long run she will remember the hard time her mom is giving you and her. Hang in there and keep in touch with her as much as you can. Calling in the evening (not to upset her routine) to say goodnight may be helpful if her mom will allow it. See what a lawer might say regarding contact and visitation. Good luck. Non-custodial parents always get screwed but, things can turn around in the long run.

[IAD]

I need to let rip

Heppie,
I've been married twice, lucky for me we did'nt have any kids in the first go round ! But I can imagine how terrible things can get. I have friends in the same situation that your in. Your kids will always remmeber how you treated them. ( Way after thier 18 !) Keep up your end of the bargin ! Your EX won't always be in control ! Your kids will always remmeber all the good time they had together with you ! (Kids don't forget !) Good Luck ...IAD