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    #1

    Hurting

    I took my first drink, well, about 8 beers, when I was 12. 12, it is hard to believe it when I say it. 12. I am now 41. I hate being a drunk. I hate that I brought my children into my hell. I hate that my grandchildren see it. I have tried to quit, but just cannot fight the craving. I am so sick today from drinking 2 margaritas plus a bottle of wine last night. I did that because I am upset with my husband at the moment.

    For whatever reasons, I do this to myself almost daily and have since I was 12 - almost 30 years. I long for sobriety, but honestly have no clue how to get there.
    ":welcome:"
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    #2
    Hurting

    I am so sorry to hear your story. do you come from a family of drinkers?

    i think you have found the place to get some sober time. A year ago I was a mess I felt like there really was no way out. it took a while for me to get healthy. the book is the first thing I would suggest getting.

    just writing your stories here is a healing process.

    people are so supportive here. there have been so many times that I feel like I have truly good friends here.
    please stay around
    welcome
    You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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      #3
      Hurting

      hi there..gourmet..welcome am guessing you are new to this site . and if you are great job bye making your step in finding help for yourself.did is a great place for support. read alot and post any or all of your questions. learn as much as you can. and remember only you can make the change for yourself.you are not alone we are here for you anytime.do your best and peace and god bless you and yours
      :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
      best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

      Comment

        #4
        Hurting

        Oddly enough, none of my family drank. It is just me. I bought the entire MWO program a few months ago. I need to read the book again and start listening to the CD's again. The only thing I can seem to do consistently is drink. I feel horrible, ashamed, and helpless.
        ":welcome:"

        Comment

          #5
          Hurting

          Hi Gourmet, sorry you are feeling so bad today. Many of us felt the same way when we found this place. Since you have read the book you already know that there are many paths to sobriety. You need to find the one that will work for you. Meds? Supps? CD's. Several people here have taken the step to take antibuse for a while. Have you tried talking to your doctor. There is no reason to be reluctant or embarassed to do so. Trust me, they have heard it all before.

          Reading and posting also helps a lot! I hope you are able to figure out, your way out of this. It is so worth the effort!

          Best to you, Kate
          A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

          AF 12/6/2007

          Comment

            #6
            Hurting

            Hi gourmet...

            Since you feel like crap today.. maybe try not drinking just for tonight?

            You obviously have the desire.. that first day is really the toughest... really. It's only for tonight... Each day is a new opportunity.. and choices...

            I hope you find your answers from within... gourmet has to talk to gourmet...
            P.S. You can't love if you don't love yourself... :heart:

            As you wander through life, sister/brother, whatever be your goal, keep your eye upon the donut, and not upon the hole.
            - Sign in the Mayflower Coffee Shop, Chicago

            Comment

              #7
              Hurting

              gourmet;303101 wrote: I took my first drink, well, about 8 beers, when I was 12. 12, it is hard to believe it when I say it. 12. I am now 41. I hate being a drunk. I hate that I brought my children into my hell. I hate that my grandchildren see it. I have tried to quit, but just cannot fight the craving. I am so sick today from drinking 2 margaritas plus a bottle of wine last night. I did that because I am upset with my husband at the moment.

              For whatever reasons, I do this to myself almost daily and have since I was 12 - almost 30 years. I long for sobriety, but honestly have no clue how to get there.
              to eliminate the DRINK problem - consider love for family. to hell with the husband they come last in these situations, if he is selfish you don't need him. get strong and to become strong decisions have to be made, ones that will be life changing. its a cycle that cannot be broken until something happens... you will know when your time is right. eace:

              Comment

                #8
                Hurting

                Ripple is totally right!!:welcome:
                Also dont think of yourself as a drunk only makes things worse! You can be an over indulger and that makes it much better.
                Anxious

                When the heart cries for what it has lost the spirit sings for what it has found!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Hurting

                  hi Gourmet. your situation could easily have been mine by the brief description. The brain is a marvelous thing...we can take the destructive energies of guilt, self hatred, frustration and "morph" them into positive directions. yes it is hard. yes it can be done.
                  nosce te ipsum
                  (Know Thyself)

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Hurting

                    anxious;303402 wrote: Ripple is totally right!!:welcome:
                    Also dont think of yourself as a drunk only makes things worse! You can be an over indulger and that makes it much better.

                    DRUNK                    =person who over-indulges with alcohol. :brainfart: anxious, you should not be coming to a board that promotes sobriety and post anything is better about alcohol because there is nothing good about it! and please don't send another private retarded message...:creepydude: find something to doo. :spam: there are many places on the net that offer help for mental illness.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Hurting

                      gourmet;303101 wrote: I have tried to quit, but just cannot fight the craving. I am so sick today from drinking 2 margaritas plus a bottle of wine last night. I did that because I am upset with my husband at the moment.

                      For whatever reasons, I do this to myself almost daily and have since I was 12 - almost 30 years. I long for sobriety, but honestly have no clue how to get there.
                      Hi there, Gourmet, and nice to meet you...

                      "I cannot fight the craving".... totally understandable. When you woke up and discovered that dull, beating, throbbing sensation in the frontal lobe of your brain... you hated yourself, didn't you? Every step you took echoed in your head, and you thought to yourself... WHY in the HELL did I drink all of that crap last night?

                      As the day goes on, you take better care of yourself... maybe a couple of Excedrin, a hot bath, a sweaty workout, lots of water or tea.... and in the early evening, it happens again... the little voice in the back of your mind whispers, "Okay, I feel better now... I could really use a lovely glass of that fancy merlot you bought for me... please?"
                      And, game over.

                      Well, you mentioned your husband ticked you off, but then you more honestly said, for "whatever reasons". We'll find any reason to justify drinking. Sad. Mad. Glad. Take your pick.
                      If you aren't taking any supplements, I strongly recommend starting again.... Vitamin B complex is crucial. L-Glutimate helps control cravings. People here swear by the kudzu (do you have any left?)...

                      You aren't alone, Gourmet... I feel the desperation in your post, because I've been to that lonely spot before, too. It doesn't have to be that way.                       When you get that craving, come here and read. Post for help. Go to chat.

                      You can do this, dear. YOU                       deserve to be happy.
                      Much love,

                      Patty

                      Patty
                      Tampa, FL

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Hurting

                        smoke BUTT!

                        Love ciggie in the ASS of that avatar Pat. :bubbeblow:

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