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gunslinger76
April 7th, 2008, 08:58 AM
How do one go from just stopping and forgetting about a loved one witch passed away and now consumption of the demon rum is getting worse ? Everyday , every minute it consumes me , calling my name ,. I'm DESPERATE and there is nothing else i can think about ! Getting more reckless by the day , and nothing else seems to matter any more,...

livingfree
April 7th, 2008, 09:29 AM
Hello gun - Do you have family or friends that are near you that can help you with the loss of someone in your life? I think when you lose someone - you need those around you on a daily basis for some time. You don't want to be alone at a time like this. Reach out to those in your family - work - neighbors - friends first.

As far as the drinking - it is understandable to turn to anything that will NUMB you out at a time like this - but I can tell you from experience - it will only make it worse. Put the bottle down and try to get rest - nutrition - and lots of water.

Keep posting here also - it helps to know you are not alone - and everyone here can relate to many things you have going on.

Best to you
Liv

jinja
April 7th, 2008, 09:43 AM
Hi GS, sorry to hear about your loss. I am also the type to search for oblivion rather than 'feel' anything. I can relate very much you using AL as your 'anchor' - although you clearly realise this is not working. I totally agree with Living - please reach out and talk to friends and family etc. Perhaps honoring and rejoicing in the fact you were priviledged enough to have loved and been loved by someone so special to you - maybe trying to 'feel' the joy of that life, rather than the loss.

I know it's easier said than done!!

Good lucK & keep posting.

Take care
xxx

:welcome:

FloridaBoy
April 7th, 2008, 10:00 AM
:welcome:


I was where you are when my sister comitted suicide. It was a complicated mess and I will never figure it out but I have learned to accept it. Death is part of the circle of life and life goes on. If you keep drinking you are only going to shorten yours. Find someone to talk with. Discuss why it troubles you so much. Or do it here. Hindsight, being 20/20 the drinking did not help me deal with it.

Pamela
April 7th, 2008, 10:04 AM
Hi GS,
I'm so sorry for the way you feel right now. I've lost many in my life (sister, Dad, then Mom) way before their time. Try writing about what happened here - about the person you lost, about your relationship, what happened, anything you want. I will read it all. It helps. I look forward to hearing from you.
P

Finding My Self
April 7th, 2008, 10:24 AM
Hi GS...

I am so sorry - and sorry you are feeling so awful..... The rum wont do anything really..... it seems to numb but everything's there afterwards, eh?

If you can talk to someone - ANYone....do it..... If the rum is because there isn't anyone (and sometimes there isn't and that's awful too), then come here and 'talk' loads - type away dumping like crazy....there'll always be someone here for you - 24/7 worldwide....

I just lost my Mum and although we weren't that close it is still hard....odd....and I can see how hard it is to talk to people about it; maybe my feelings are 'odd' I fear....or I'll be told what to do when all I want to do is talk...I think...although I am not sure I do...I don't know what I want...the 'right' thing/time hasn't happned yet and that's horrible too.... I hope there is someone for you somewhere.

But I don't want booze any more - this time last year would have been awful - it would have been booze all the way but I know now it doesn't help - it only makes things worse....grief AND hangovers = ugh's-ville!

Perhaps find - or find another - grief counselling service....we have Cruse here in the UK....? But keep asking and looking - and be gentle on yourself....

We're here for you whatever...

Really thinking of you.
FMS xx

Cinders
April 7th, 2008, 11:48 AM
Gunslinger,

Your post sounds so serious that I think you need to check into getting professional help ASAP!!

We are here for you and care. :welcome: but I am hearing desparation and I think you should start calling out for help where you are. Get to a doctor, even if it is just a GP, and talk about what is going on, perhaps you can get a referral.

Take care and we are here 24/7 if you need to post or chat or whatever.

Love,
Cindi
XXI

Pamela
April 7th, 2008, 02:59 PM
GS, please respond. We need to har from you. Just write!
P