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    Depressed

    I am not doing well at all today. I don't want to do anything. I went to lunch with a friend and she knew I was a wreck the minute I sat down. At this point I don't know if drinking is causing the depression or if being depressed makes me want to drink more. And the hangovers are not even physical anymore, they're psychological. I'm sick of feeling like shit all the time. My husband and baby don't deserve this, and neither do I.

    CS

    #2
    Depressed

    Alcohol is a depressant and of course if you have no control over your life due to drinking that is also depressing. Most people here talk about reaching rock bottom and then taking the first step which might be just coming here or admitting the problem to someone. I know I reached rock bottom just less than 2 weeks ago lying in bed with a major hangover and i hadnt even said goodbye to the kids when they went to school. I cried my eyes out and then just thought thats is ENOUGH ENOUGH. I am dying here and I doing it to myself. I am now on medication and 12 days today without binge drinking or smoking. It is so good to feel so in control and the sense of achievement as each day goes by is just amazing. I hope you get some inspiration from all the posts here which I do. You just take one little step to a new and better day and be nice to yourself.
    BH

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      #3
      Depressed

      looks so welcoming on the board-Depressed...last post by boozehag. really makes me feel like i fit right in? :welcome:

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        #4
        Depressed

        CSO4 ~ I can relate. I thought that I suffered from depression for years. I too drank to be happy even if it was just for a little while, knowing all along that alcohol is a depressant. Since I quit drinking, I no longer feel like I suffer from depression. So it clearly was the booze causing the feeling. Can you commit to a certain number of AF days?

        Also, I want to suggest that you take supplements. There are many out there that you should look into such as 5-HTP, Sam-e, some amino acids that help to stablize our moods. Also, something you can but at a local drugstore and start taking right away is Omega 3 Fish Oil. It not only is great for your heart but it is excellant with helping with depression. I take the fish oil (among other things). It really does help.

        I see also that you have been a member for a very long time. Why not visit the boards more often? It really helps to read other members stories.

        Good luck. I hope you start feeling better soon.

        Love, Me
        :l
        Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

        Comment


          #5
          Depressed

          Hi CS- sorry you are having such a tough day today. Can I ask how many days you have been without drinking? There are so many changes going on in your body right now and even more going on mentally. I found that I had to keep focusing on what I was doing and why. I also made very short term goals for myself - like, I'm not going to drink tonight but I have no idea about tomorrow.
          I am just not going to drink right this minute.
          I also focused on my reward which was usually just not having a hangover the next morning. Focus on that. This is tough for so many reasons - hang in there. Post more and let us know how you are - there is always someone here.
          Lisa

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            #6
            Depressed

            CS, I hope you feel a little better since you have posted. Please get help. You do not have to, or deserve to, suffer the way you are suffering. I fight depression all the time and really need my medication, which helps. Your family needs you to be healthy and you do, too. Take care and God bless.

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              #7
              Depressed

              It is a cycle that is not good and I have done it too. Ya feel bad about something so you get somw AL as a reward then the next day you feel like crap and the reason you felt bad is still there. Then you get bummed 'cause you drank and the cycle starts again. It is the road to nowhere and I traved it often. It is unpaved, the scenery sux and the food is awful.

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                #8
                Depressed

                CSO4,

                I can relate to how you are feeling. It always seems like the bottom is going to drop out, but its just the effects of the alcohol. It makes you panicky, anxious, depressed, you name it. Please know that tomorrow will be so much better, and the next and the next. Just give it time.

                E

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                  #9
                  Depressed

                  I agree that the depression is always made worse by alcohol ... You won't know if you have some other depression issues unless you can get away from the AL for a period of time. I would suggest telling one person in your life that you need to have a break from ALcohol and enlist their help. It makes a big difference to be accountable to someone on the inside of your life. I know thats hard - as we all seem to have the "secret" in common - but it pretty much shatters the lies we tell ourselves when we tell someone. It is humbling and makes it easier in the beginning.

                  Love to you
                  Liv
                  AF since Jan. 1, 2008 .... It all began right here


                  Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now.


                  (from the Movie "Once")

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                    #10
                    Depressed

                    CS - I remember you from before. I'm sorry you are feeling bad. Have you been to the doc lately? Are you on any anti d's or do you think it is the alcohol alone making you feel bad?

                    :l
                    Marcie

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                      #11
                      Depressed

                      CS,

                      You have been here a long time like me, and I remember when you first found out you were pregnant. I remember how scared you were, but excited at the same time. I truly think that as women our hormones do not do us any good service with the alcohol battle. I admire you very much, and you have a lot on your plate. I am trying to "teach myself" to not use stress as an excuse, because I have found that stress will always be there. Always.

                      After all the time I have been here... have done the supplements, Campral, Topamax, etc, but am now trying Antabuse. It just takes that mental battle off the table, even though I do feel sad at times that I cant drink. Have you considered it? Its worth looking into.

                      What is your drinking situation now if you care to say? Going AF is hard, but if you want that depression to lift in a flash, going AF is the best medicine out there. I also have found B vitamins to be hugely helpful!

                      Thinking of you...
                      Allie
                      If you do not live the life you believe, you will believe the life you live.

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                        #12
                        Depressed

                        Hello CS -- I am sending good thoughts your way and also a link to check out: Energy Healing | Distant Healing | Energy Healer Michael Mohoric
                        I had two distant healing sessions with this person and have been able to be alcohol free for four days now -- the longest I have been in years. I am paying, but he also does free group sessions. So just thought I'd pass that along.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Depressed

                          cso4!

                          Thank you for coming back! Read and absorb and continue to be a part of all of us. Something will click. Support is a lovely life-affirming thing. As we all struggle, we pull upon each other's strengths and challenges. Doesn't matter if you were here 2 days ago or 2 yrs ago. This is a medium that allows humility, anonymity and the release of one's heart w/o judgement (I hope). I know for sure, that I cannot face the folk in my small town in an AA meeting. The strength and honesty I feel here is what helps me move on and not get worse. I need anonymity, but above all, I need the affirmation and support that I am an OK person.
                          Keep posting. If positive attracts positive, I know you will find it here without judgement.:l

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Depressed

                            Hello you :-)

                            As someone who has suffered depression and anxiety and has a drinking problem, I can give you most excellent advice...

                            Go to your GP and get some Diazapam (valium) makes it so easy to stop drinking as withdrawl symptoms are nil..

                            I find when I don't drink for a few weeks, my depression and anxiety totally disappears...

                            Worth trying to get your life back...

                            Good luck XXX
                            What you perceive is what you believe, so make sure you look at things the right way....

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Depressed

                              Hi CS, there is no doubt in my mind that the alcohol exacerbates and even induces depression. Work on eliminating it from your system and then see how you feel. Anti-depressants may be called for as well. I am alcohol free and I suffered from very serious depression and anxiety. Not so anymore. Good luck, j
                              Cuckoo for Cocoa Puff!!!

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