Wednesday 16th April

[Seen the light!]

Morning to you all,

I read all your posts every day but lose track of names to comment to - I'm sure in time I'll pick it up! I do recall it was Cindi's 30 day celebration so a big WELL DONE! to you.

Well it's a grey and rainy morning here in Northern England and I have been up all night long with a stomach bug (does anyone know if Tonic Water goes off - cos that's all I can think of that's caused it) I'm not feeling my best but at least I know it's not self inflicted!

It's also my birthday today so I am deciding whether I am fit enough to go in to work today - I've got a fridge full of cream buns to take so I'd better try my best!

Hope you all have a good day - this is Day 3 AF for me - gonna be my first AF birthday in a LONG time xxxxx

[Janice]

Wednesday 16th April

:bday2: Well happy birthday Seen the Light!! Hope you feel better as the day goes on and enjoy your first AF birthday....tonic water has become my favourite drink, don't know if it goes off really?? Anyway, hope you feel well enough to tuck into those cream buns!!

Mam was obviously still on my mind when I went to bed cause I woke up in the middle of the night having had a terrible dream....one of those that is so real, so clear....I was on the phone to mam and dad.....like I used to when Dad lived at home....and mam was drunk....I could clearly hear Dad in the background, screaming at mam who was on the phone to me, as drunk as anything, hardly able to put two words together but still shouting back at Dad and calling him all the names under the sun to me. It was how things used to be - a typical nightly phonecall - before Dad had to move out....at 84.

Day 50 for me today.....I feel strong, and definitely motivated!!!! Beck said the other day "I am not drinking without making a conscious effort to not drink" is where I'm at. Last night cause we were in such a mess in the house and I hadn't prepared anything for tea, we nipped out late for a curry. Its so good to not have that desire to drink and envy at others with a glass of wine in front of them......I didn't feel like this when I was AF before.

Another nice, sunny morning here so going to get all my washing done and wipe all the dust down...again!! Wishing you all a good day.....Janicexxx

[rustop61]

Wednesday 16th April

Hi everyone

Happy Birthday Seen the Light, hope you are soon feeling better. Janice great to see you so upbeat and congratulations on Day 50. I am so proud of you, you are an inspiration to the rest of us. Great to hear that the thinking changes, I'm looking forward to that!! Mind you, sat down to dinner with 6 others on Sunday and we were all drinking water and it felt fine, did not even miss the wine.

Everyone else big hello. Hope all went well with your daughter yesterday Cindi. Let us know how things are going. You too Mary. Try to do something nice for yourself, as you probably know stress seems to be one of your triggers, like a lot more of us!! Al sneaks up on us when our defences are down.

Have a great day everyone.

Rustop

[barebones]

Wednesday 16th April

morning everyone

happy bday seen the light, and good luck on ur AF days.

hi janice good going on 50 days, it will be ur bday soon.

im the same i dont think about al anymore really. i go out with a couple of AA ladies and we go to this bar restraurnt and im fine with coke. i do however need to find another soft drink to have. so maybe i should experiment. ive never had soder water in my life. not sure of fizzy water. but hey ho, i will need to try somthing else, cant live on coke for ever.

hi rust i hope u have a good day and everyone else who comes.

take it easy.

[Cinders]

Wednesday 16th April

Seenthelight, Janice, RU and all my AB friends to come,

First off, Happy Birthday, Seen the Light!! Giving yourself the present of an AF Birthday is a wonderful idea. You have jumped the first major hurdle of this journey. Day 4,5,6 are now your next one. They can be, in some ways, worse than days 1-3 because AL starts jumping up and down on your shoulder telling you, "hey, you feel better now, you can have just one, see, you made it, you don't have a problem.." Ignore the sob. He's lying. He will do anything to make you drink again. Kick him to the curb, tell him to get lost. Smile when he tries it and brush him away. Once you are past these next three days, AL starts getting quieter and quieter. Do it ODAT and stay motivated!!

Janice - Isn't it strange how we have been around alcoholics, seen what they can do in people's lives and still have become alcoholics ourselves? Such a strange, strange addiction. I am so sorry about your "mam" and what you grew up with and what you are dealing with now. I am also incredibly proud of you for finding the strength and courage to step out of that cycle and make your life better, and by example and deed the lives for your husband and albeit grown but still your children better. We can do this and we WILL be happier for it.

RU - I hope that you are doing great and like Mary's slips, your slips have little or no meaning other than a learning experience for how to beat AL at his game. You have maintained long periods of abstinence and freedom from AL and just jumped right back in. I pray I do the same if/when I slip. I am determined that any slip I ever have will not turn into a relapse but just a fall down and jump back up and off again.

Mary - I hope yesterday was a good day for you and your hubby. I think about you off and on during the day and hope you are able to get some good rest yourself. You definitely want to avoid that cold so that you can be strong and clear headed when hubby has his surgery. Hugs and Cindi prayers for you as you get through this.

Beck, Det and Everyone else, Have a wonderful AF day this "hump day" and let's keep on keepin' on!!

Love,
Cindi
XXXI

[Cinders]

Wednesday 16th April

Barebones,

Hi!! We were cross posting.

Like you, I need to find another drink when I go out. Some of the restaurants in our area carrry sugar free Lemonade, which is great for me. I love it.

However, most don't and I end up ordering diet coke, which is funny because I never drink soda at home. ??

Some say tonic water or soda water with lemon or lime. I guess I'll get adventerous and try that next time. What the heck, if I don't like it, I'll order diet coke, too.

Have a good day. It sounds like you are feeling somewhat better??

Love,
Cindi
XXXI

[retteacher]

Wednesday 16th April

Hi Everyone: In spite of my slip, I don't feel down on myself. I'm moving forward into day 1 & am going to stay AF today...no doubt about it! I've been feeding my husband soup & generally coddling him. The surgery is next week, & I've told the kids that Grandpa has a bad cold & can't see them for a while.

When I'm out, I usually have soda or stick to ice water. Chinese restaurants aren't a problem, because I love the tea that is served. At dinner parties, I usually have some kind of diet soda (which I actually like).

Janice, I've had dreams that seem so very real. You're so right...alcoholism is an absolutely awful disease. All you can do is take care of yourself & be there for Mam if she's ever willing to stop.

I'll check back later. I'm staying home today w/my husband. Tomorrow, I have b-sitting duties which I was going to try to cancel, but he told me to go. I think I'm driving him crazy w/all my hovering.

I love each & every one of you. This thread is such a gift. I can't imagine beginning my day any other way. It's a breath of fresh air...positive, supportive, caring. Mary

[cowgal]

Wednesday 16th April

wednesday

Hi all, Happy B-Day Seen the light!!

Great job on 50 days, Janice, you are doing so great!

Rustop, Barebones, Reteacher..........good to be back on board with you all, am honestly and humbly starting back, day 3 TOTALLY AF for me.................been trying af, but had a few beers this past weekend, NO MORE!!!

I have to really try to keep my job, things are like walking on eggshells here for me....

Cindi, I am soooooooooo happy for you on your 30 days, was there, look forward to going back again..................hope all went well w/ your daughter yesterday.

lots of love to each of you, and all yet to come!:h:h

HUGS,:l:l

MA:h

[retteacher]

Wednesday 16th April

Cindi: Was your daughter admitted to a treatment center yesterday? If so, how long will it be? It would be great if she could be in for at least 30 days, though 90 is the absolute optimum. Mary

[retteacher]

Wednesday 16th April

Is Doggy Girl away for a while? I haven't seen her posts. M

[Cinders]

Wednesday 16th April

Mary,

Bradford didn't have a bed yesterday. It was awful, I was with her all day and got to "see" how addicted she is physically. Shakes and tremors. She had to drink to keep them at bay and she turns into an angry, self-pitying person when she drinks..

Bradford promised a bed today. I am dressed and ready to go!!

The good news is, her hubby can also come today, it is his day off. So she will have the love and support of family with her when she goes in.

Thank you for asking!!

Love,
Cindi
XXXI

[retteacher]

Wednesday 16th April

Cindi: I'm just finishing up "Broken" by William Cope Moyers. It really explains the physical effects & also the pain the families go through. I'm praying for her.

I think my son's addiction is more psychological than physical. He's switched substances throughout the years. Until he gets into some kind of recovery program, I think he'll always have some sort of addiction.

Mary

[vinophile]

Wednesday 16th April

Good Morning Absters,

We are having a string of very nice days here so I have promised myself that I will get out and enjoy the sunshine as around here I know it won't last for long.
Seen the Light, A very Happy Birthday to you. Enjoy it AF. You'll be so much happier tomorrow!!

Janice, I felt for you while reading the post about your Mom. I, too, have an elderly "drinking" mother. If i ever used the word "alcoholic" around her she would scream. She was always very high-functioning but I don't remember a day in my life when she didn't have drinks at night time. Even now, with altzheimers so firmly embedded in her brain that she can't remember the name of her favorite drink (wine),she knows where to get it. It is actually watching how the alcohol has affected her(she buries emotions as soon as they surface,drinks, and then blames everyone else for things that have not gone her way) that has been the biggest encouragement for me to stop drinking. I hope you can get an early morning Dr. appt for her. Good luck!

Barebones and Rustop, you both seem so rock-solid in comittment to stay AF!!
Maryanne, good to see you again. You seem to be doing SO much better than you were a few months ago. It's good to see you so strong.

Cindi, I've been thinking about you. How's your daughter doing?

Mary, have a good time babysitting. You seem to wear so many caregiving "hats" (hubby, kids, grandkids and us) Please take care of YOU!!!! You are so precious here.

I hope everyone to come is in a good place.
I feel good and strong in the am but in the late afternoon I have begun to feel myslef getting a bit "wish-washy" about my comittment to stay AF. I've bought some more L-glut powder which I shall double -dose this afternoon. Maybe I'll re-start the kudzo which I had stopped taking because I didn't think it was assisitng me in any way. Of course coming back to the boards always helps.

Janet

[Beck]

Wednesday 16th April

Good Morning Everyone...

It's going to be a great one here. 65 degrees and beautiful. I'm finding that I need to make more time for myself. Right now I'm taking care of father who had hip replacement surgery - actually my Mom's taking care of my dad and I take care of her...4 kids who are all busy afterschool and husb. We are having a house built so that adds stress. These are all minor things. And I used to handle them all with AL. Removing AL from the equation has made all the difference for me. Anyone else finding that they have tons of energy?

Janice, sorry about your mom. When you and Cindi talk about the effects of AL on your families (from the non-drinker perspective), it gives me an awful lot to think about. For the first time I am actually considering NOT modding. Thank you.

Mary, glad to see you back up and at it. I love that you do that. I am afraid that if I slipped I would spiral.

Rustop, yes some of those drinking feelings - the one where it begins to feel normal to abstain really do happen. Takes a while - at least for me.

Cindi, hope your daughter gets in today. Sending prayers and happy thoughts that it will "take".

Don't know where DG is either. Liv posted last week that DG was busy but well. It's been a while though.

Seen - Happy Birthday. You'll feel great by the weekend.

Cowgal, glad to see you over here. This is something you can do.

BBones, good to hear you sound so positive. You are really doing great.

Hello to Aqua, Det and all to follow,
Beck

[Beck]

Wednesday 16th April

Hi Janet,

Cross posted. You asked yesterday if it gets easier. The good news is that it does - but it takes awhile. and it is different for each of us. And it may come back after you think it shouldn't. When I hit my witching hours and it is tough - I do whatever it takes to get through it. At Day 65 it meant nearly crying while telling the kids I needed them to quit bickering (disharmony tends to set me off), leaving the kitchen as soon as dinner was over, putting on my ipod and tuning them all out while I did mindless chores and drinking a few AF beers. I re-emerged at about 8:30 just in time to have my 7 year old read to me. All worth it. Hope you find that helpful rather than discouraging
Beck