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Saturday 19th April

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    #1

    Saturday 19th April

    Well I guess you must be having a sleep-in Seenthelight????? Come on, wakey wakey, we've got a thread to open!!! Actually if you are in bed, I don't blame you....its a horrible, miserable wet morning here in England!!

    Hope everyone is doing good and having a nice weekend. We had people for dinner last night.....stuck to my tonic water, ice and lemon and it wasn't a problem. Enjoyed the food and the company so a lovely night. Though as we were tidying up later, my husband asked "did I drink that full bottle of wine to myself?" and was shocked when I said yes. Crikey, what would he have said if he'd known how much I used to drink??

    Got a lot to do today but will be back on later.

    love Janicexxx
    AF since 9 May 2012
    Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)
    Tags: None
    #2
    Saturday 19th April

    Good morning Abbsland,

    A thought provoking thread yesterday, the ODAT and never again models must be the flip sides of the same AF coin. Keep that coin in your pocket and rub the side that works this weekend.

    Janice and all to come today, I hope you have a wonderful Saturday. I'm up early and off for a run in the mountains. The resurgence of energy over the past several months has been remarkable and it feels good to get up and out to do something in the morning.

    See ya!

    July,

    Day 269 AF

    Comment

      #3
      Saturday 19th April

      Morning all
      Janice.....you are right...if hubby only knew how much booze this body could hold!!!...Even after 6 months I find he still stands in the foyer as I close the bathroom door for that last pee before we go out (I used to have my "get me through it" swig or two)...never says anything, but waits for the toilet to flush and the door to open!!!...I know he knows I'm not drinking, guess old habits just die hard!!
      Lots to do...work, afternoon wedding....everyone have a great weekend.....
      sobriety date 11-04-07

      Comment

        #4
        Saturday 19th April

        Morning all,

        Janice,
        sorry to hear it's raining in the south, it's nic and sunny in the north, very windy though, brilliant day for washing. Really pleased you had a lovely evening Janice. I had an ironic laugh at what your husband said about the wine, it's amazing what we can put away when we're drinking isn't it.


        Hi July,
        I'm guessing that your last drink was 23 July 07, correct me if I'm wrong. If that's the case that's fantastic, and you sound brilliant. A run in the mountains sounds gorgeous.

        I finished all my rubbish removal yesterday, it feels so good, I can actually walk into my garage now, something I haven't been able to do for a year, found things I'd forgot I had.

        Also had a good meeting with my alcohol counseller. She said I looked really well and fresh, which was nice cause I felt it :yay:. She said if I can stay AF for another week she will refer me for generic counselling to help me deal with the last 2yrs and other stuff from my past. She said emotions that I've surpressed through years of drinking might start to com up. I've been feeling really good at the moment but I am expecting this. What surprised me this morning is that I woke up crying for my friend who died nearly 2yrs ago. I haven't cried over her for quite awhile even though I dream about her a least 3 times a week without fail. I'm gonna go and see her mum on Monday, I haven't seen her since xmas ops!: I feel guilty about that.
        Wandered a bit off course there, anyway my counseller also said that if I can make it to my 30day AF target and if I feel ready I can move into the after care workshops. I'm walking my talk now as apposed to just chatting about a lot of stuff that sounds good. Actions speak louder than words hey.

        Hope everyone is having a good day
        take care
        want
        :l
        AF since April 8th 2008 :kudos::rays:

        Snake....... come crawling,
        There's fire in your eyes,
        Bite me, excite me,
        I'll learn to realize.

        The poison transmuted,
        Brings eternal flame.
        Open me to heaven,
        To heal me again.

        Comment

          #5
          Saturday 19th April

          Hi Charlee,
          we posted at the same time, hope you have a good time at the wedding.
          6mths, that's brilliant:applaud:

          xx
          AF since April 8th 2008 :kudos::rays:

          Snake....... come crawling,
          There's fire in your eyes,
          Bite me, excite me,
          I'll learn to realize.

          The poison transmuted,
          Brings eternal flame.
          Open me to heaven,
          To heal me again.

          Comment

            #6
            Saturday 19th April

            Hi Everyone: Spring has sprung here in the NE USA. I've been doing yardwork. Want: I have found that as I've given up alcohol the feelings are starting to come. I'm learning how to deal w/them. It isn't easy, because I used to avoid them thru alcohol.

            Take care everyone. I'll check back later. Mary

            PS: Cindi: how's it going w/the g-daughter. I'm sure you're doling out the TLC.
            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
            October 3, 2012

            Comment

              #7
              Saturday 19th April

              Hi everyone,

              Quick note as I am off to watch 3 of my kiddos play soccer. The 7 year old game is the most fun. Last week I had to yell to her that "if you are goalie you must play at least near the goal". She plays the whole box. She likes goalie as she has found a postition where she gets applause. Must be a youngest child thing.

              Barely made it past the liquor store yesterday...believe this would be much easier if I could just accept that I can't mod. Haven't yet, so I get to struggle. Anyway, day 76 today.

              Janice and Char, husband has no idea how much I drank either. Rather clueless, but I did hide pretty well. Char, I did the bathroom drink thing too. I had almost forgotten. In fact, my last 3 shots of vodka were on a train in Germany in early Feb.

              July, you sound great. 9 months is impressive.

              Want, the biggest surprise about getting sober for me was the emotional upheaval - stuff that I had (have) been avoiding. Learning from it though. Some lessons I would like to give back, some I will keep forever.

              Okay, off to the soccer pitch. Great Day everyone!
              Beck
              Beck

              Sometimes you get there in spite of your route, losing track of your life and what it's about, the road seems to know when to straighten right out...Mary Chapin Carpenter

              Comment

                #8
                Saturday 19th April

                HI Everyone. Looks like it is going to be a beautiful day here today.
                Janice-I'm laughing at your husband's comment. I could easily polish off a bottle of wine in the past. You forget how alarming that would be for most people. It makes me realize just what an abnormal drinker I am when you see people react like that.
                Want-It sounds like you are really making some progress. It's true those emotions start coming up when you start drinking. I have discovered issues that I didn't really realize were causing me stress I think because I kept numbing myself up. But now I really have to deal with it. It's difficult but it can also be a very healthy liberating feeling to deal with those emotions. Keep up your great work!
                Reteacher- Hope your husband is on the mend. I think I will be doing yardwork also today, just don't know where to begin.
                Charlee- I have the same thing with my husband. If I say I am going to the store at a random time I know he basically knows I'm not going to drink or buy something to drink but there is still that awkward tension between us where he is not sure and he wants to know why I'm going then and what I'm getting. It actually gets me really angry but I have to tell myself that I probably totally deserve it since he he only feels that way because of my actions in the past.
                July- Wow, a run in the mountains , that sounds wonderful.Having that kind of energy back is priceless isn't it.
                Hello to everyone to come, be well and stay strong. Aquamarine
                NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF YOUR OWN DETERMINATION
                AF SINCE 3/16/2016

                Comment

                  #9
                  Saturday 19th April

                  Morning All,

                  Not much to say at this time, slept horribly last night. Just wanted to pop in and wave before I chug on with my day. Hopefully I'll perk up later.

                  -lorelei
                  Suddenly I see
                  This is what I want to be
                  suddenly I see
                  Why the hell it means so much to me.

                  -KT Tunstall

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Saturday 19th April

                    Good Morning Aber Friends,

                    Janice - I am going to have to try the tonic water, ice and lemon drink. I keep casting about for things to ask for in restaurants to feel "special."

                    July - I agree, we must all choose what works best for us. ODAT or AF forever. I truly do think it is one in the same, just how we approach it. So glad to see you jumping in once in a while. Enjoy the run.

                    Charlee - When you think about the things our men have had to do to "keep us safe," it really just breaks my heart. My hubby used to drop whatever he was doing to go to the store with me to make sure I wasn't buying anything on the sly. I've decided not to get angry with him when he maintains the old habits. It just shows he cares.

                    Want - Awesome news on the counselor and the progress!! Yay!!! You are truly piling up those days and ready to tackle the emotional baggage.

                    Mary - Granddaughter spent the night with son and family last night and is going to spend the night with "daddy" and his sons tonight. I miss her. Like you, Mary, I am learning to deal with my emotions without AL and sometimes it is so difficult!! Last night I had anxiety I could not believe. It was a rough night. Jumpy and nervous all afternoon. Really "missed" my painkiller but made it through.

                    Aqua - You have a great attitude about the hubby, too. I figure we all will have to let our partners learn slowly that we are beating this thing. The wonderful thing is, for the first time in years, I feel like I am truly beating it!!

                    Beck - 76 days and still struggling with the mods/AL issue. That is rough. I think my click came when I just accepted that AL was never going to be a part of my life again. Or at least shouldn't be, because I simply cannot mod. I went from feeling denied to feeling liberated. I sure hope I can maintain that mindset! It helps alot.

                    Love to Kathy and Det and all to come.

                    Cindi
                    XXXV
                    AF April 9, 2016

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Saturday 19th April

                      Morning everyone. 9 days AF and still doing better every day. Finding this site has been a godsend. We are all in the same boat on the rough seas, but the water is getting calmer and I appreciate those of you who have been rowing harder to get some of us newbies through the worst. :goodjob:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Saturday 19th April

                        Beck: I too know I cann't mod, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to escape into the bottle. I just try to turn my thoughts to other things. Also, I try to remember how rotten I'll feel afterward if I do drink. Mary
                        Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                        October 3, 2012

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Saturday 19th April

                          Mohun,

                          Day 9 and you are almost out of the worst!!

                          Once past day 10, I felt better and better every day.

                          Lorelei,

                          Hang in there. You are doing fabulously. Chug on.

                          Love,
                          Cindi

                          ps Mary, I, too would "love" to disappear into the bottle sometimes, but then I realize it is truly ME disappearing into the bottle. I have spent years losing myself. I need to spend years finding myself again. I am so glad to have you with me on this journey of self-discovery. We are not alone. We will learn to truly love ourselves. :l
                          AF April 9, 2016

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Saturday 19th April

                            Cindi: Thank you so much. Our lives (adult children + g-children) are so similar. Ultimately, I have to start putting myself first, & that means staying sober no matter what's going on. I cannot have any self-discovery or recover of any kind if I take even one drink. It does not work for me. Today I feel very strong & determined. Mary
                            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                            October 3, 2012

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Saturday 19th April

                              Thanks Cindi and Mary,

                              I just keep working toward 30 day goals making it work as best I can. Problem lately is that my keep hearing that voice that says...you came here to mod anyway, so why not start now? I'm not starting now b/c I don't trust that voice. When I decide to leave this happy wagon, I want it to be because I jumped off, not fell off. I'm also think the longer the AF stretch the more likely I am to make the mods work. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself. Beck
                              Beck

                              Sometimes you get there in spite of your route, losing track of your life and what it's about, the road seems to know when to straighten right out...Mary Chapin Carpenter

                              Comment

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