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**Guest** · March 30, 2006, 06:50 PM

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Boy do I feel your pain. I have been there and if you have read my posts I ended up in my bosses pool ahem.....

Dont get an ulcer. Talk to these people even if you dont want to hear it. Your stomach will knot, you will feel embarrassed and you will hear stuff you will feel awful about. This is part of the process, taking responsibility for when we are irresponsible, I have just started too and this much I do know.

The embarassment will pass I assure you but tackle it head on and believe me in a weeks time, although you may blush at the memory and get those stomach knots, at least you know you have faced it.

I remember one night we had a young couple come over and I got sozzled and started picking on my husband which is something I dont normally do. Must have had some inner frustration coming out with the booze, anyway I seriously embarassed them, him and me

. I got a big "talking to" the next day from my husband>: and surprise surprise they never came again!!! I look back with yucko but at least I have never done that again. If I feel myself getting narky I go to bed because I know it is the drink talking, not me (or maybe it is?.

Take heart, there really are some wonderful posts here and lovely people, it is my new refuge and hopefully we will all make some great and supportive mates along the way.

Julie

**Guest** · March 30, 2006, 08:05 PM

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Jools...
How many times have we done that?? I know that ulcer feeling... you want to know what happened, but then again you dont. You just wish there was a "rewind" button on the whole evening. It's especially difficult when you see those people, your husband, and no-one says ANYTHING the next day... everything is just "chit-chatty" and so you wonder if nothing happened or something really bad....

I think you should pull the person aside that you feel the safest with, whether it be your husband or friend, and just be honest. Tell them how in knots you are about how much you drank, and that you honestly dont remember, and that you feel terrible about it. Have them tell you what happened. As the above post said, YES it hurts, and its painful, but those are often the catalysts that launch us forward into the determination it takes to use willpower the next time we are in that situation to not make the same mistake. Remembering the embarrassment of the time before is often all it takes to make you stop at drink number two and say, "that's enough." I know it has been for me. Believe me... I have made a fool of myself a few times as well, and the memory is enough to make my face blush and that works better than Topamax or anything at times! Look at it as a learning experience and grow from it. Dont beat yourself up okay! We understand!!

Allie

**Guest** · March 30, 2006, 08:06 PM

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I meant to address the previous post to nomorewining... sorry!

**Guest** · March 31, 2006, 09:31 AM

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thanks

I just typed a very long reply to you all and when I hit add reply it said field were missing hit the back butten. Which I did and it wiped out my long heartfelt reply. What a bummer. I will try to give it another shot.

nomore

**Guest** · March 31, 2006, 10:11 AM

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Thanks

Thanks to you all for all the words fo wisdom. Jools I went and read your story afterwards and it was quite entertaining. You sound alot like me and I'd say it's a good thing we would never run into each other at a party. My husband too doesn't drink very much and hates the fact that I get out of hand sometimes. He has also commented on my wine breath. I wake up about 5:00 a.m brush my teeth and pop in a piece of gum which also helps with dry mouth.

I have blacked out a couple of times in the past couple of years and last weekend was the worst one. I have already imagined every possible senerio on what I have done so I don't think my friend could actually surprise me. It's probably not even as bad as I'm thinking. Who am I kidding?? Oh well I love being the Queen of Denial when it suits.

I do think we can all learn from each other though. I feel reading these posts have given me a reality check. My tolerance level has changed and so has the amount of alchohol. I sure love my red wine.

I should know better coming from a long line of alchoholics ( most now reformed). It seems to be a trend in my family. It's just not a good example for our children. I feel I need to grow up before she is affected. Right now she doesnt' know. I don't tend to drink around her and she has never seen me in bad shape. I don't what that to ever happen.

Last night was my first Thurs. not drinking my bottle of red wine. I missed it but not a huge deal. Out for dinner tonight and I'm the DD so no chance of slipping tonight. I'm pretty much trying to change my habbits. I think reading these posts before hitting a social setting will be a big help.

Have you all read Donna's post regarding privacy? It was an eyeopener for me. I now clear my history each time I'm done. This is a really private journey for me and I would be very sad if I thought someone was reading my personal feelings. I felt so bad for her. It was a lesson learned for me.

I feel great now that I have unloaded. I must go now and start my busy day with my daughter. It's a beautiful day here and I'm looking forward to making the best of it instead of dwelling on last weekend.

Thanks so much to you all. You are all an inspiration and a dose of happiness and fun as well.

TTFN.

**Guest** · April 2, 2006, 03:41 PM

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Re: Thanks

Hi there just thought I would stop by to see how you are going.

**Guest** · April 2, 2006, 04:56 PM

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Cringe

Hello Jools, and all. I cannot believe this site.It is so good that we have all these demons in common.These are experiences that we have tried to bury(probly with the booze)as they can be so humiliating,degrading that you really can't forgive yourself so who else can.My problem for a while now is falling asleep.I did not do myself any favours drinking on anti deppresssants i would pass out in a resturant, taxi -poor driver! i once last summer fell asleep on a trampaline with people boucing on it!! I mean who does that.You can make an excuse of it,try to laugh it off, but like you say you need to face it ,it really is not normal.And maybe the shame and self loathing is a catalyst that drives us to things like this.All we can do is except it, move on.Another day new beginings, and as you put so well new friends to share a very intamite life with. XXXXX

Ps i have to agree i would prefer to have these feelings kept to just us whilst we are still coming to terms.

**Guest** · April 5, 2006, 09:11 AM

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ask

if I may add my .02 cents.
More than likely what you think you did is 100 times less than what you actually did.. I have done this 100 times. When I finally got the nerve to ask my husband or whomever, they have looked at me and said what are you talking about you were fine. And even if you did do something, they probably know you well enough to know you were under the influence, and attributed it to that. Dont worry, people understand.
syd

**Guest** · April 5, 2006, 02:52 PM

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Re: ask

Hi all - I just realized that I posted my follow-up in a different section. I found out what I had done that weekend and it wasn't pretty. Can't say I have ever had a night like that. If you want to read it ...go to discussions and it's under
A Rude Awakening.

TTNF
Nomore

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