Is this for me?

[Guest]

I am a 42 year old man from England, I live in New York City, My wife of 8yrs died from lung cancer a year ago and left me with my 6yr old son, we both watched her die over a year and I had always done most of the parenting with him so the transition to single parent wasn't too bad, I managed to quit smoking 2 yrs ago without a problem but my drinking has escalated, I have always been a regular drinker and I love it but now there is nobody to see how much I drink - it's getting out of control. My job has not been affected, I function pretty well and I don't drink until I get home. The problem is that when I start I don't stop until I go to bed, last night I drank 1.5L of wine by myself, other nights it's half a bottle of vodka or half bottle of Jack or 5 beers or any kind of combination.
Is there a way out there to moderate myself or even stop without feeling like I will never enjoy myself again

[Guest]

Is this for me?

Welcome!
I must be the only one replying to posts tonight... everyone else must be out since its Saturday night!

I think there is definitely middle ground as far as your situation is concerned. I think sometimes in order to bring balance to a situation that has swung way out of balance in ONE direction, it must then have to swing to the extreme in the opposite direction --- almost like a fast swing in order to finally slow down and find a gentle pace of moderation.

Sounds like the alcohol has been a place to grieve the loss of your wife, and understandably so. That is also where alcohol became a problem for me as well, except with a divorce. I drank before, but it was not a problem. Then when my husband left me, I turned to it for comfort and it became my best friend. Then even when life got better and years later I remarried, it was still a pattern in my life that later began to take it's toll on my current marriage.

You are still very young and have a very young son who is looking to you for his whole future, as well as an example of what a man is. You are all he has. I commend you for acknowledging this as a problem before it gets any worse, because you can get a handle on it! There is lots of support here and, and yes you may need to go through a season of abstinence, or maybe you can find a place of moderation, but either way, acknowledging that it is out of hand at present is the key to moving forward.

And yes, YOU WILL enjoy yourself with moderation or abstinence....much more, I promise!

Keep posting and getting support. I know everyone here will help in any way they can.

Allie

[Guest]

Is this for me?

TWilson..I am a newbie too.

Tonight is the first night in over two years I have not gotten drunk. I have always loved to drink, runs in my family. However for me, it has gotten way out of hand.

Alcohol makes me, and many, forget our problems for the time we are nice a buzzed. As we all know, we just wake up to them again and sometimes more because of things we might have done while drunk.

I hear so many conflicting stories about all or nothing.....moderation...so forth. I guess in the end it is all what works for you. Don't know where it is going to fall for me. However, it does not hurt to try a route, and if it does not work, then try another. Maybe I cannot achive moderation however I will not know until I try. Last time I tried I made it almost 14 days. Then got drunk for two years. This time, I joined this group. Will see how long I can make it and if I drink, I will try all to get the support to either work with moderation or abstain again.

Hang in there bro.

[Guest]

Is this for me?

I don't really know what to say. Because of the pain of loosing your wife I can understand why you drink...but you and I along with everyone else on this board knows drinking does not bring happiness it only covers up the sadness we hold deep in our hearts. The type of sadness is different for all of us and we all want to quit for different reasons. If you are ready to quit you are at the right place. Start off with the book. And yes, you CAN start enjoying your life again...good luck and keep posting.