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    Faith is ...

    hey guys....

    I was away from the boards this weekend and today, I caught up on a few posts and I have to tell you that Allie's post really touched my heart. Thanks A, because it applies to so many facets of my life right now. It really helps me as I am really starting this new journey.Here it is for the ones who did not read it. everyone...2 days till March Madness!!

    Her post .....

    Sylvia,
    Your honesty has really touched me, and I thank you. You hit a chord that I think everyone of us struggles with... fear. Fear of life without alcohol. Will it really be better? Surely it must, but what will we do instead? We imagine a healthier life, but a more boring one. And like you, nothing seems to take its place. But, I think what we have to "re-program" ourselves to is TRUTH. I think the "lie" that we all believe, is that once we give up alcohol, we will somehow live a boring life and may never find anything to help us through the tough times.

    I honestly believe that so much of why we drink is psychological rather than a "physical addiction." We believe in our minds that we have to have it (which is a lie), so we drink it. We feel better, so we re-inforce the lie that we have always believed.

    But what if your bank ran an offer to you because you are a valued customer who has banked with them for years. The offer is this: If you will give them a ten dollar bill, they will exchange it for you and give you a hundred dollar bill back, simply as their way of saying, thank you for being such a valued customer. So you are standing at the bank, the teller on the other side, and she is offering the hundred dollar bill to you, and with her other hand is reaching out to take your ten. Well... we glady make the exchange, because we can SEE that hundred dollar bill. We know the value is so much more than our measly ten dollar bill. Is it hard to "sacrifice" our precious ten dollar bill? Of course not! Because we can know for sure that what we are getting in exchange holds much more value.

    So why is it so difficult to exhange our "ten dollar alcohol" for the hundred dollar life?? Because we cannot SEE this new life. But just because we cannot see it, has NOTHING to do with the fact that is TRULY exists. I dont mean to get spiritual, but I do believe that it is the truth that sets us free. One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is Hebrews 11:1. It says:"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Wow.... the evidence of things not seen. I tend to want the "evidence" BEFORE I will believe, but this is the opposite of faith. Faith is believing in that which you cannot see. I am trying to really change the way that I think, and just begin "deciding" that life is better without this encumberance on me, and just start acting like it. I trust my feelings will line up with my actions eventually. Its like putting a smile on your face and choosing to have a great day even when you feel like crap. At some point, I imagine it will be harder and harder to feel like crap with a smile on my face. I will probably feel a lot better by the end of the day, and there's a good chance I might even feel the way my face looks. But if I tell everyone who says hello to me my woes and how miserable I am, then I will probably end the day worse than I even began it.

    Having experienced the difference in value of having a ten dollar budget at the clothing store versus a hundred dollar budget, we know the difference in the rewards. We know in our minds that we are holding onto the alcohol just like the ten dollar bill, somehow locked into a myth we created that it will buy us more. We are like a child who doesnt know the difference in the value of a bubble gum ring versus true gold, and so we hold on with sweaty palms to our bubble gum rings, in fear that there is no ring more beautiful.

    So this is how I am mentally trying to break the stronghold of lies that I have believed for so many years. By "renewing my mind" in this way, and reading the posts, posting to others, I have noticed a HUGE decrease in the amount of alcohol I have been drinking. I have not recieved any of the supplements or Topa, so I am encouraged to see what a difference the support of others, and my daily struggle to believe truth instead of lies, has made.

    But I am not there yet, these are just the tools I am using today, and they are working little by little. I am sorry to ramble.... but that's part of the therapy right?

    Have a wonderful day, and remember hundred dollar bills... not tens!!!

    Allie

    #2
    Faith is ...

    Allie, you are getting published now!!!
    Nice job!
    Wonderful words to contemplate this Monday morning. This is the stuff that gets me through the day. I wish I could write like that...
    Thanks and love to all,
    Becca

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      #3
      Faith is ...

      i always begin my posts with a 'thank you' - as i am so grateful for the presence of each of you here. i am expecting the delivery of my supplements today - i think my body need 'a healin' as well as my mind.

      my ten dollars is to NOT BE A BOOZER! if i am bored while drinking i know the other side holds much more. i am lucky. i remember the life of not drinking and had no problem being interested in things and making them happen. i have often writen that i want that old life back - where i had the motivation to do things that eventually ETOH has taken from me....i want to rephrase that "etoh has TAKEN nothing from me that I have not surrendered all on my own". ETOH is as innocent as any person we sit next to at a stop light. The person is just thre at the stop light ... unless I get out and make a problem of it. I will not blame ETOH for my problems - I have chosen to battle with it. Today - I am beginning to do something about my desire to either pick a fight with it - or leave it alone. The bottle doesn't come after me...I chase after it!
      It is a very hard time for me now - and I get another chance of choosing how I want to handle it. Do I want to handle it with a self inflicted stupor, or do I want to handle it? Period. My worst nighmare is to be a "boozer" - and I have been. OUCH! Not just every new day do I have a choice - every minute I do. I WANT to have my motivation back - my curiosity about new things....and follow through.
      NO ONE IS STOPPING ME! I know it sounds good - and is not so easy as it sounds. but it is also not easy when pouring the 2nd, 4th, etc drink - the shame and the tuggling NOT to do it: as it is no longer a PASSING choice....there are strings and consequences attached that take the ease away.
      I am just rambling now - but it does help so much to be able to share and have those who understand and know. Being in this group has helped me a lot and i look forward to it. It is also a great distreaction before I choose to drink.
      My love, prayers and whatever strength i might have to share to ALL.
      El

      Comment


        #4
        Faith is ...

        Thank You Elle,

        To Choose or not ot Choose....The Choice is ours to make is it not? Good for you on this day of all days. That really made made my day. I don't always have the words to say that are in me like others... but the feelings are always there and so close some times..just can't put into words.... so close....I will leave it at that!

        Thoughts and Love,
        Tammie

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          #5
          Faith is ...

          Thanks Beautiful Wreck for starting this thread, because you reminded me again of the inspiration I felt that day when I wrote that. You caused it to rise afresh again today, and I was able to live it!! Truly a hundred dollar day... and it felt SOOO good!!

          I just got back from a long run/ walk... a beautiful day, and I was thinking over so many things as I was alone. I began to literally count my blessings of all that I have to enjoy in life that alcohol steals from me. So many days I cannot get out and enjoy the exercise and the fresh air and just alone with my thoughts uninhibited by alcohol, because I feel too bad. I am robbed of that. There is so much that I have NOT been able to enjoy because alcohol has had me bound in chains. I was thinking too while walking... that I REALLY think that it is the FEAR of quitting that is worse than the actual quitting itself!! Because once you stop... the rewards are IMMEDIATE!! Think about it.... you wake up and immediately feel better than the day before. You are immediately more productive than the day before. Your self-esteem is immediately higher because you didnt drink the night before. You notice little things and enjoy life more because you dont feel bad that day... all of these are gifts that we steal from ourselves, all because we are afraid that we might feel anxious and agitated if we dont drink?? Yes... we probably will. I probably will tonight. But I can tell you that I had a FABULOUS day... and I feel on top of the world right now. A glass of wine sounds like a great way to wrap up the day, but it is all part of the lie I have believed for so long. I'm not buying it tonight... the wine or the lie.

          I'm believing for another hundred dollar day tomorrow, and a hundred dollar life to follow.... I'm actually getting excited about March madness and starting early!! Is something wrong with me???

          Allie

          Comment


            #6
            Faith is ...

            Nope Allie...You got that topa, dopa (excitement feeling going on feeling)..don't let it go! Hang on to it! It is great!

            Your are doing wonderful...keep it up, Lannie and I wish we were there to take our walk with you.

            Love ya,
            Tammie

            Comment


              #7
              Faith is ...

              Faith is....

              Allie, Becca, Elle & Tammie
              Boy are you guys an inspirtation, I wish I could write like all of you. Just read this thread made me feel sooooo good, just made me feel all gooey in side. Thank you, you have just made my day feel a better day. Lots of hugs to all of you from the UK
              Mary

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