ready for next baby steps

[Guest]

Hi lovely friends,
I ordered all my stuff today and think I am ready to move on and make it more serious (not that I wasn't dead serious before): like ACTION V WORDS. I have a short tolerance to things that are not going anywhere - I want to get out of this mess I created more than anything. I have had no desire to drink since I started this group. Definately no morning stuff. I AM BORED - and that is my incentive to drink - boredom is my owrst enemy. it is so amazing when i am involved and busy with things i like i don't even think about it. I have to recognize this in myself as a part of my personlaity - I will create excitement or distraction or crisis. who knows how long this will last is undetermined - but i know i am a lush and terrified of depression - i have to keep moving. i could totally see myself sitting before the telly having an EVIAN all day. i have an empty nest and am alone so very much aside from the problems of others which is my profession. lots of adjustments to make. i do not want to put myself down - but recognize myself as a person like all others. i also do not want to elevate myself b/c of other things. i am where i am for a reason - and i can seize the moment or wallow in it.
wallowing isn't like me..usually. i will be asking a lot of questions about this program once my packages appear. thank you for being here and your ever so suportive comments.el

[Guest]

ready for next baby steps

i totally understand about the boredom thing! its the no.1 reason i drink! i 'm a single parent at home with 4 kids and i'm still lonely! when they're in bed in the evenings i feel so alone and bored outta my skull(although there are always plenty of chores i could be doing!lol)i just sit and drink. i need something else to do i guess! good luck to you! jenny.

[Guest]

ready for next baby steps

I completely agree about the boredom, as well. My kids are old enough they don't minding....and it isn't that I don't have *tons* of things that could be done....it is just that they don't appeal as much as the booze. One of my goals to get engrossed in something interesting enough to keep my mind occupied in a healthy way!

I've been toying with a side business in desktop publishing, but don't have (currently) the ability to devote the time to it needed to make it work. In the meantime, if anybody has a form they want reworked, let me know, I'll do it for free!

[Guest]

ready for next baby steps

elle,

You sound like your serious to me. I think we are at the same starting point. I have read the book, ordered the supps and have decided not to take topa. I am replacing it with therapist assisted hypno(starts Tuesday). I have not had a drink in two days. I have cut back since I started posting on the 14th.

A lot of my friends have everything to do with drinking and so I get bored too. Last night, I was bored out of my mind. We need to find people in our lives that are condusive with our agenda and maybe have them over for dinner or a coffee.

Good luck and as the old saying goes..."one day at a time."
BW

[Guest]

ready for next baby steps

Looks like you figured it out!

It looks like you figured out how to start a thread. The flashing 'EZ' by a thread means it is a hot topic. Of course most of them are becuase we start a thread and keep changing the subject:lol

[Guest]

ready for next baby steps

Re: Looks like you figured it out!

jenny and beauty!
we should start a group called the boredoms! as i said before - boredom is thee worst thing fo rme - not like i dont have a whole pile of chars and paper work that stare me in the eye everyday since the holidays. There is plenty to do - and there was a day when i would be in a knot and do it.....now i know there is something that will tell me anyting i want to hear or feel....the alcohol. oh - that warm blanket that can find me an excuse for anything.
Forgive me if i get off course for a minute here - but i also think society and the way the country is and the HOPE it provides (ed) plays a facor in this too. i fell like nothing i can do will be significant or that there is just andother hurdle of meaningless duty arund the corner. i am (was) a HARD worker - and now I think - what the heck for? I have no control over things and the more work I get done the more ther is to do. hitting dead walls. sheesh i need a secretary just to get my own stuff done. so WHY am i bored? all i have to do is put on the hiking shoes, or dance shoe, or volunteer some more? why am i bored? is it that life has been so hard for me that nothing excites me or stirs me anymore? nothing surprises me. i feel like ther eis nothing to goal or work for. have i jus given up?
For all the times i was called B---- by the former spouse - I stopped being a B____. but I had a spark - have I just let it go to the wayside to please the comfort of others and not wanting to be seen as a witch? In former posts - I talk about how calm and able and positive I am. Has the cost been alcohol? I am th emost pleasant person in the world to be around - I wouldn't say SH__T if I had a mouth full. Even if it hurts. Peace love dove - but I don't always feel that way. In some ways I feel like I have lost myself...to never being abandoned or judged again. What is the better trade off?
Thanks for writing and being open. WRITE - write your hearts out and don't be affraid: it teh little parasites that we contain and wont allow to breath or exume that make this ...I believe tht for allof us.
El