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Bunky
September 18th, 2008, 02:12 PM
My husband hates me ...need I say more
I HATE MYSELF so why do I keep drinking...:confused:

Waiting for his way out
September 18th, 2008, 02:20 PM
He does not hate you, he hates your drinking. If he is still there, he loves you.

Bunky
September 18th, 2008, 02:34 PM
he hasnt talked to me all week...and wont discuss my drinking problems anymore...
I made once again a total ass out of myself in front of family and as he told me not to drink I did...social anxiety! I hate it

A Work in Progress
September 18th, 2008, 02:37 PM
Bunky, it sounds as if it is time for you to quit drinking; only when you have been free of alcohol for a while will you be able to make a realistic assessment of your relationship with your husband.

best wishes,

wip

Waiting for his way out
September 18th, 2008, 02:59 PM
I can only tell you that I often stop talking to my husband for a while because I am so angry about his drinking that I feel as if I have said it all and there is nothing else to say. It is better to say nothing than saying hurtful things that you did not mean.

Bunky
September 18th, 2008, 07:18 PM
thanks..I guess I can understand the "not talking" thing...
thanks for listening..glad someone will

Preciouspinot
September 18th, 2008, 08:07 PM
These things take time Bunky and he probably has the right to be angry. I for one, would rather have the silent treatment rather than the yelling. ;)

Evie.Lou
September 19th, 2008, 08:54 AM
Bunky Dear,There isn't an instant FIX to our disease.In time he will see you Recovering and remember why he loved you,in the first place.Maybe ask him to help you by giving you Antabuse daily.Then he will know you are serious about getting and staying SOBER...just a thought..

Waiting for his way out
September 19th, 2008, 09:34 AM
I should have taken my own advise... goes to show you there is no instant FIX for the non-drinker either. I failed to follow my own new rules yesterday. I am trying, have to keep trying and handle things better. The anger won. Next time I have to win over the anger.

Bunky
September 20th, 2008, 08:33 PM
thanks everyone....the only thing about the silent treatment is I am having major anxiety...wondering what bad things I said or did...but one good thing...I didnt drink all weekend! That makes me happy...now I must continue!
THANKS

bestlifeldms
September 24th, 2008, 09:49 AM
Bunky,

There came a time when my words meant nothing to my husband, anymore. I had told him soooooo many times that I was going to quit, and then broke my promises. I finally realized that I had to show him through my actions. I could only gain his trust, again, through my sobriety.

Thank God, that he loved me that much. I am 169 days AF. He made me sooooooooo uncomfortable, many many times, by not speaking or telling me exactly how painful my drinking was for him. We drinkers can be so selfish. We don't want to made to feel anxious or ashamed. But we put our loved ones through unspeakable pain, when drinking.

You can see that the way in which he is treating you, has produced positive results for you. You didn't drink on the week end. The better thing would be for you to not drink, even when things are smooth between the two of you. Don't think of his treatment as meaning "He hates you". As said here, he must love you, if he is still around. Be grateful he loves you enough to want you to get better.

Hugs, Best

Waiting for his way out
September 24th, 2008, 11:38 AM
My husband thanks me everyday, now that he is on his way to recovery and has been AF for several days... for standing by him, for not letting the demons win, for loving him and loving us. Make sure you let him know you love him and appreciate him. Even if it does not seem so, he is listening and hoping and needs to hear it from you.