I'm So Cold

[Mags]

Yea. it's starting to get cold here. It is about 40 degrees Farenheit outside and of course my windows are open. I need fresh air all the time and love to sleep in cold air -as long as it it fresh air.

I am in a major transition in my life regarding my career which is so so much more than a job to me. But the time has come for me after my whole life in acadenia to leave that world. I don't want to go into a whole long story here since I have posted a little about it before, but it is going to be a major change in my life.

I don't think I would have had the strength or the wisdom to do this if I had not gotten sober in the last few years.

My question to you guys is, how do you think sobriety has changed your life in general? Your vision of yoursrlf? Your job situation? Your relationships with family and friends?

I know that for me personally, my sobriety has brought me and my husband of 25 years much closer together. Now I can talk to him and we can even laugh about my alcoholism problem and do this together now instead of me trying to hide it for so many years. How stupid was that? Now our relationship is so much better and more honest.

I could go on and on, but I won't.

Remeber that in science , change and boldness are good. Without those, we would have nothing.

[SKendall]

I'm So Cold

Mags, I've been thinking about you for a whle now. How is the job thing going? I think you were dealt a bad hand.

That being said, I recognize the scary part of transition. I live it and I'm still on the fence. I support you in whatever you do, you will do the right thing by looking inside of yourself.

You are a very special person, and I wish you love, success and happiness.:h

[tlrgs]

I'm So Cold

well where do i start .. for the past almost 11 months in two more day.. things have change ..family friends everything is so much better now .. me i can feel again .. i know what i want and it nothing very big but just life .. yes i have my ups and downs but hey thats all apart of the whole picture of life .. thats why i say riding the bull of life .. knowing what i want and how i want to be ..and things are all coming back to me ..and theres more .. but it getting late here have an awesome day everyone

[Heavenly]

I'm So Cold

Thought Provoking

So much has changed for me...most of it was out on the forum last year...so no need to go on....most things are better...some are being worked on ... but it's not easy...

Stopping drinking was the easiest... maybe too easy once I had decided .... I think it was Bear (MD Biker) that said staying stopped is the hardest part - true !!

I wish anyone good luck in becoming sober and don't want to put people off, but they have to be ready to run a whole gamut of feelings they may have been suppressing before by drinking and coming to a reality of pain that can't be dulled with alcohol. That's just me though... maybe others aren't drinking for personal problems ...just habit, routine etc

I am not usually one for major reflection about anything... maybe that's my problem...but I am an avoider in reality .... avoid things that hurt ... but fight if provoked too far .... nice person eh? But that was me as a drinker.

It's funny but my friend admires me for not drinking when I have major problems (the person has a drink problem too) but it is the small everyday pressures that have actually been tempting me to drink again....I suppose the daily pressures of life that I am now recognising will NEVER go away for they are what life is all about....

So is it me that has the problems or is it the outside (external of me) that is inflicting problems on me ?

Whichever, I have to learn to cope without alcohol as my choice of self-medication.

It is this transition period (which I wondered about - when others where describing it I didn't know what they were on about-but now I am feeling it...) that I have to be careful ....this is it for me .... last chance saloon as it were ....do I try and moderate once more or just stick with abstention ..... I think I know the answer (abstention) but that last final admittance of what or who I am is the HARD part... and no-one can answer the question for me....

[A Work in Progress]

I'm So Cold

Nice thread! Today is my 60th day AF, so I have a ways to go before saying I have experienced "long-term" sobriety, during the past couple of years. My longest period AF was 3 years, and that ended several years ago, with a few other AF periods of up year or so, as well. So, what changes are there, for me in an AF life?

The most important and overarching thing for me is the experience of freedom. Being in the midst of an active alcoholic life is very much a type of bondage, for me. I feel like a robot when I am in the grip of it. Much of life is or seems to be unavailable to me; the alcohol simply takes precedence. When I am free of it, everything begins to open up, and I see far more options and choices (both short-term, as in what I might do this evening; and long-term, as in what I might do with the rest of my life).

Next to that, and related to it, I suppose, is the realization that the things I dread to face in life are truly not as bad as I had anticipated. In my own life, the great difficulty of dealing with my elderly mother is something I have dreaded for my entire life; and this has intensified as she became more and more frail, and demented, and physically ill. Yet, in the midst of all that, I quit drinking, and found that once I had done so, dealing with all of that was only emotionally difficult: not impossible, and not devastating. That is quite an amazing thing, for me.

Other experiences within an AF life:

A feeling of confidence, a sense that I can handle what life throws at me. It's easier to be less reactive and to take things less personally.

Enjoyment of all sorts of things in daily life that I never even notice when I am drinking.

Thanks for starting this thread, Mags! I recently left the world of academia, too. Quite a lot of pain involved. Best wishes to you.

wip

[tlrgs]

I'm So Cold

bump

[tlrgs]

I'm So Cold

ok i was thinking about this ..and this would be a great time to bring this out here is a few words from the mother of my two sons ..on how things have change for me ..and them

Hi Roger, I'd be glad to. "Having Roger not drinking anymore has made a very positive change in many people's lives; especially his sons. They wanted a father who would be understanding, patient and non-judgemental. It seems to me that alcohol can turn the nicest people into mean, rash people. Before, I could not get along with him, and I had no patience for his attitude. Now, it's like I re-discovered one of my best friends and I am proud to call him the father of my children. I know it will always be a somewhat difficult road for him to stay on at times; but I know he will perservere and stay sober. If he doesn't, he stands to lose everything again. And I never want to see that happen. " How's that? Hope you havea great weekend. Talk to ya later. Margie

[Mags]

I'm So Cold

I know Roger. We've talked about this a little. Your sons are a little younger than mine. About the same age as mine when I had to start to let go of the booze cause I was losing them. I know exactly what you are talking about. It takes a little time to reconnect with them after years of drinking. But when they realize what you have done, they do turn around and respect you even more for it. I am so close to my sons now. But there was a big gulf there for years.

The great thing about kids is that they always want to love us - as long as we give them a reason to.

Talk to you again soon.

[bestlifeldms]

I'm So Cold

Great thread, Mags. I will soon be AF 6 mos. (Oct. 8). The positive changes in my life are far too numerous to list. Yes, my relationship with my husband has done a 180! My kids, my social life, my job. All better! But, I think the most precious thing that I value, is the new way I feel about myself. I am very happy and content with who I am at this moment and look forward to what I will become in the future.