Today is the 3 week mark for me. I stopped counting days sometime last week, but have circled the "week markers" on my calender. It feels like it's been a lot longer than that. Not because it's been so difficult, simply because I feel like I haven't drank in a really long time. Last month, I was lucky if I could count one AF day in the week. I drank a bottle of wine EVERY day. If I went one day without it, it felt like HUGE accomplishment. And last month, it was a huge accomplishment. Now here I am, 3 weeks later, with 21 days of AF under my belt. I'm still taking Campral (anti-craving) 3 times a day. Not sure how long I'm supposed to take it, or how well it worked for that matter, but will discuss it with my doctor in a couple weeks. Can't remember who, but one of the AF Army friends told me that it doesn't take it completely way, it simply reduces the length of time you have the craving. Not taking any chances as far as going off it.
My focus has really changed. The first two weeks were the hardest. I was obsessed with the thought of "NOT" being able to drink. This made me want it more. It's kind of like being on a diet: The more you deprive yourself of those sweets, the more you want them. But if you wait it out, the body gets used to not having them. Same with alcohol. I recall my "stinkin' thinkin'" in regards to daily events in my life. I'd ask myself, "How do these other parents do it without drinking?" Pouring a glass of wine before I sit to play a game with the kids, pouring a BIG glass of wine before I sit down to watch television, setting the bottle next to me while I take care of things on the computer. Now, I don't even miss it. As my friend told me, you miss the escape from reality, not the alcohol itself. And then, what good is it escaping? That's only temporary. All you've done is post-poned dealing with your problems. And in some cases, you've just made your problems even worse. Bottom line: the next morning your problems are still there.
Well, I'm happy to be AF. And thanks to all of you at this website, I have my own version of AA classes right in the comfort of my own home. I might not post a whole bunch, but I sign on to this sight regularly throughout the day just to get some of the motivation you all provide. I love reading of other people's stories, struggles and joys. Thank you everyone for helping my on my journey.
My focus has really changed. The first two weeks were the hardest. I was obsessed with the thought of "NOT" being able to drink. This made me want it more. It's kind of like being on a diet: The more you deprive yourself of those sweets, the more you want them. But if you wait it out, the body gets used to not having them. Same with alcohol. I recall my "stinkin' thinkin'" in regards to daily events in my life. I'd ask myself, "How do these other parents do it without drinking?" Pouring a glass of wine before I sit to play a game with the kids, pouring a BIG glass of wine before I sit down to watch television, setting the bottle next to me while I take care of things on the computer. Now, I don't even miss it. As my friend told me, you miss the escape from reality, not the alcohol itself. And then, what good is it escaping? That's only temporary. All you've done is post-poned dealing with your problems. And in some cases, you've just made your problems even worse. Bottom line: the next morning your problems are still there.
Well, I'm happy to be AF. And thanks to all of you at this website, I have my own version of AA classes right in the comfort of my own home. I might not post a whole bunch, but I sign on to this sight regularly throughout the day just to get some of the motivation you all provide. I love reading of other people's stories, struggles and joys. Thank you everyone for helping my on my journey.
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