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    #1

    Making Mod a habit?

    Hi -

    I'm new here, just been visiting for 8 days (and on AF day 8 too!) and was wondering about changing habits. Clearly for all of us, drinking became a habit. What I am wondering is, does it get to a point where the habit is to NOT drink? I mean when, even if we mod, that it actually feels more "normal" to NOT drink than to drink? Or does it always feel like a conscious resistance of something you want?

    Thanks! Just trying to figure out what I should do. I'm AF and hanging in there day by day, but I keep wondering about trying modding and I'm not sure if and how it would work for me...
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    #2
    Making Mod a habit?

    If a person has a deeply entrenched habit that consists of engaging in a certain behavior, then the brain pathways and connections that are created by (and sustain) the habit are unlikely ever to be totally eliminated when one stops engaging in the behavior. It would not be accurate to say that "not" doing something that was previously a habitual behavior then itself becomes a habit! BUT one can create new habits that override the old ones! If instead of pouring a drink at home every day after work (part of the whole spectrum of alcohol-related habits), one goes to an AA meeting after work every day, or goes into the garden to tend to the plants, or logs onto MWO with a glass of iced green tea... those new habits can become quite strong as well (especially if there is some reward involved), and can help us to resist the desires and impulses that will continue to arise, to engage in the original habit.

    wip

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      #3
      Making Mod a habit?

      p.s. congrats on 8 days AF! Most people say one should stick with at least 30, and preferably 60 or 90, days AF before attempting moderate consumption.

      And, welcome!

      wip

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        #4
        Making Mod a habit?

        I second that.
        Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

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          #5
          Making Mod a habit?

          Thanks!

          Thank you, that makes sense. I have read about the 30 day AF rule. Haven't committed in my own mind to that yet, but I guess I realize that I should. I have been taking each day at a time, though not without counting :-) - I think I can do 30 days. (I think I can, I think I can....I think I can - gotta keep saying that to myself!)

          I've also thought that as part of a moderation plan, I should only drink on special occasions or when out. I read that elsewhere on a post on this site and I really think that will be key for me to not get back into the habit (e.g., of pouring a drink the minute I walk in the door from work, etc.). This is an interesting new journey for me. I've felt great so far and it is so nice to be clear-headed in the morning!

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            #6
            Making Mod a habit?

            Hi Frances!

            Have you read the MWO book yet? I think it is really important to have a plan in place. The book is very encouraging. I think the plan is very well organized and incorporates a lot of facets of mind, body, and soul.

            Congrats on 8 days AF!

            periwinkle
            Even baby mountain goats must learn to tackle the smallest mountains first. sigpic

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              #7
              Making Mod a habit?

              Hi Frances,

              Welcome and ditto on all the good advice WIP gave you on habit-building. I can tell you from my limited experience that after 1 or 2 days of allowing myself a moderate amount of AL, I am more than ready to enjoy several AF days. I was a daily drinker, and that was the first habit I sought to override. I've become accustomed to the wide-awake evenings, the fun time spent here, the ability to go to an evening class (currently doing one on Tuesdays and Wednesdays), leaving the household picked up and ready for the next day, and nights of good, solid sleep that I'm not willing to give up. So, while I do enjoy limited AL consumption, I really look forward to my AF nights which feel so normal and natural to me now. It took me some time, the hypnosis cd's, Campral, this site, the book and some mistakes to get to this point; and I don't take it for granted. Just sharing my experience. Go for plenty of AF days - that's when you start discovering all the good stuff you've been missing, and make it a plus step to be sober versus giving something up.

              Vera-b

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                #8
                Making Mod a habit?

                you ask a question really only you can answer,and only you can decide,some can stop and stay stopped,some can moderate,and some just fall into the old trap,but you will in both drinking and not always think about it,good luck to you gyco

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                  #9
                  Making Mod a habit?

                  Frances,

                  I am doing a 35 day AF - on day 3 - and I have to say that I too am a bit concerned as to how I am going to handle day 36 - am I going to be able to mod or will I over indulge, due to the fact that I went for so long without, I may crave it after 1 drink. For myself, all I can say is that I am going to have to figure it out when I get there. It may be that I choose not to have any AL at all. My plan is that during these 35 days, I am working on a healthier life style - eating healthier and working out - my hope is that at the end of 35 days I will not want to go back to over indulgence and I will enjoy my good health. Good Luck to you! This is a great site for support - I am working on making signing onto this site as my habit instead of the AL drink as WIP mentioned. Great advice.

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                    #10
                    Making Mod a habit?

                    Welcome Francis and jolly well done on 8 days!!

                    I don't have anything to add to what has already been said other than I do firmly believe that by doing 60 days AF has changed my habits. I am now modding but I am also extreemly vigilant.
                    I think it's actually easier to remain AF as in my mind I did not give myself an option to drink, now that I am modding I am forever thinking, "okay, what is happening this weekend, should I have a drink?" I am still very new at modding and there is a lot I still have to learn.

                    Wishing you the best!!
                    "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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                      #11
                      Making Mod a habit?

                      this is great

                      It's great to get all this feedback. :thanks: I told my husband last night I'm trying to make NOT drinking the norm, rather than the opposite. I've gone through two tests- one at a local rennaisance festival where I usually drink several beers during a day there and second at band practice - I play music with a group of friends and we usually have a few drinks. I'm proud and glad and feel very good these days! Coming here every day and intend to continue doing so. And great job everyone - I love hearing about your experiences!

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                        #12
                        Making Mod a habit?

                        good to hear from you, Frances!

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                          #13
                          Making Mod a habit?

                          Frances,
                          Everything's is better AF. Like Vera said, the quality of life is so much better, being able to do the normal, enjoyable things life has to offer is the icing on the cake. As for behavior mod, I used to teach special needs children years ago, and using behavior modification was how we trained the kids to make those positive changes in their behavior (I used the word behavior three times in one sentence!) is possible. What it takes is consistent positive reinforcement of the desired behavior (there I go again). When we consistently have those AF days, that's our positive reinforcement that so many of us have forgotten over the months or years or decades. It's a bonus to stay up and watch Lipstick Jungle! I've picked up three TV shows and who woulda thunk that a freakin' TV show would be such a great thing! It's the simple things that I missed in life that are just so incredible. Hope all is going well.

                          j-vo
                          Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                            #14
                            Making Mod a habit?

                            i dont no im bouncing around like a bunny,or a kangaroo you no where hahaha,wip words of wisdom,at least were all taliking from our heart,i dont think it could be explained any bettr,thnx W I P

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