I have just found this website and am tentatively typing about the worry I have about my wife's drinking. We have been married for 14 years and have 2 children aged 9 and 4. We are both in our mid to late 30s and have had what I thought was the perfect family life until recently that is. I don't drink much at all and never get drunk as I just don't like the effects, also having had to put up with my own mum drinking heavily as I grew up although not to the AL stage just being annoying really and seeing my teetotal dad put up with it has put me off. In all the years we have been together I hated when my wife drank but not because of how much as it was never more than a bottle of wine at weekends but more to do with the change in her behaviour where she always became abusive and sometimes uncontrollable towards me. I always forgave her afterwards and learned to put up with it. Its horrible having to ask her before we go out socialising not to have too much for fear of her arguing with me and exposing her behaviour to others.We have always been very private people and so I have never spoken to anyone about how this makes me feel, to the outside we are normal,happy with great kids who are never exposed to or have witnessed this in their mum. 2 years ago we moved house to a new town and she made friends quickly, gave up her part time job and stayed home, no serious money worries,all seemed perfect until recently. I have noticed her drinking more frequently and it seems like a bottle of wine a night is being drunk although she has made it appear that it is just sociable drinking. I have become accustomed to knowing when she has had a drink by the small changes in her behaviour, becomes loud, cheeky etc then goes to bed early leaving me alone with my worries and thoughts. Last week she has stopped eating regularly and when she does it's just very small portions or snacks which speeds up the alcohol effects, I couldn't understand that after 1 glass of wine she would change so dramatically and put it down to an empty stomach. I now know that she has been drinking more and things came to a head the other day when she became worried about irregular periods and bruises on her legs. I asked her to go to the doctors and she broke down sayng it was because she had a problem with drink. We have talked since and she starts a new part time job in 2weeks and that when that happens she will sort herself out putting the blame for the drinking on being lonely at home with the same routine.She does not drink during the day yet and hasn't let the kids down yet but I am frightened that she is on the absolute brink of going over the edge completely.
I have told her that if that happens we won't have a future and to think about how she will ruin her's,mine and more importantly the childrens lives. She has gone to a trusted friend for 2 days and has promised me that she will sort herself out and things will be different but I'm not sure.
I'm sorry for the long post but I feel punch drunk and am struggling to cope with it all, my job is suffering with the worry, I am terrified of being left on my own, frightened for my kids futures and scared for her. We have had our ups and downs and I have bottled up all my feelings of depression and frustrations and am finding it hard to forgive again although I know I need to if I am going to help her through this. I just feel helpless and very alone with my mind bursting with fears of where it will end, I used to be able to cry but lately I can't even do that.
I have told her that if that happens we won't have a future and to think about how she will ruin her's,mine and more importantly the childrens lives. She has gone to a trusted friend for 2 days and has promised me that she will sort herself out and things will be different but I'm not sure.
I'm sorry for the long post but I feel punch drunk and am struggling to cope with it all, my job is suffering with the worry, I am terrified of being left on my own, frightened for my kids futures and scared for her. We have had our ups and downs and I have bottled up all my feelings of depression and frustrations and am finding it hard to forgive again although I know I need to if I am going to help her through this. I just feel helpless and very alone with my mind bursting with fears of where it will end, I used to be able to cry but lately I can't even do that.
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