30 days and looking over my shoulder

[Waiting for his way out]

Here we are, my husband has made it to the 30 days AF. Good for him !! Some days it feels like an eternity and others it feels as if the weeks went by so fast.
For all the families out there, I just wanted to let you know there can be a light at the end of the tunnel.
However, I am keeping my expectations to myself and not too high. He is ready to move on clean and clear. Not so easy for me, I still wake-up in the middle of the night thinking about the terrible events we went through and the voices in my head replay the words over and over in the dark.
I don't discuss this with him, don't want to do anything that would send him backwards, I know time is on my side and time will provide the healing needed.
Stay close by and stay close to the ones you love.

[Cinders]

30 days and looking over my shoulder

Waiting,

I can only imagine. My hubby is quite vocal about my behavior when drunk. However, I am not sure I really mind. I don't remember most of it and it is good to know what a complete b*tch I am drunk.

He is nowhere near as supportive as you are. I think he tries but he is tired of my failures and I seriously can't blame him for that. All I can do is keep on.

30 days is a great start but only time will quiet those voices in your head and that is all you can expect of yourself.

AA tells us that we make our families sick, too. It adds to my guilt but one thing I must learn to do is let the guilt go. The guilt only makes me want to drink to get away from the feeling.

Be honest with your husband but kind.

BTW, tell him we are proud of his accomplishment. We are rooting for him.

You are such a good, supportive wife. He is very blessed.

Love,
Cindi

[Waiting for his way out]

30 days and looking over my shoulder

Cindi, I was VERY vocal. But, now I am letting him find his way.
He tells me everyday how lucky he is to have me, that without me he would be probably be dead with a bottle of vodka near by.
The 30 days AF is his accomplishment. What I meant by my message is that I am still looking out for the possible trouble. That light at the end of the tunnel could be the train coming at me or it could be that day light I have been waiting for.. time will tell.
Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me.

[kriger]

30 days and looking over my shoulder

Waiting,
I am so happy for you....30 days is indeed an accomplishment for your hubby. What is his plan to stay sober? Does he do AA? Does he ever get on here and just read the posts? I am hoping that that light just keeps getting brighter for you...you deserve it! Letting him find his way seems to be working for you two right now. I would suggest that you keep communication between you open and honest. Best to you and your hubby, Waiting! Kriger

[Waiting for his way out]

30 days and looking over my shoulder

Thank you. No AA for him and he does not come here.
Topa and suppl have worked wonders. His plan is to stay on Topa throught the holidays "to avoid temptations and relapses". After the holidays I am not sure, I am not looking that far yet, I have learned to keep expecations at close range.
I will be extremely happy to survive the Holidays in Peace and Harmony.
We will be gone for 2 weeks in December for Christmas and New Year's Eve, retrieving from the busy world to our cabin in the mountains, where drinking has never been a problem, we are both looking forward to that time away. Between us... I will miss my eggnog

[thirdsister]

30 days and looking over my shoulder

Waiting,

Congratulations to your husband...that is fantastic.

I know what you mean about keeping expectations to yourself. Yesterday I spoke with my Mom and found out that my sister went out and found herself a therapist and asked for a print out of an application for an inpatient facility. I'm so proud of her for making these steps on her own...yet, as a defense mechinism I guess, I'm trying not to expect anything from this. Just appreciate it for what it is - steps in the right direction.

Anyway, I am so glad he made it through 30 days AF, that is a milestone to be celebrated. Hope you two have a fantastic time together at your cabin

Thirdsister

[Waiting for his way out]

30 days and looking over my shoulder

That is wonderful, it was just a short time ago she was so angry and desperate... creating such family feud. Now she is looking for help and taking steps on her own. I hope she finds peace and recovery.

[Cinders]

30 days and looking over my shoulder

Waiting and ThirdSister,

I happen to know first hand about the waiting for the other shoe to drop. Both of my children are alcoholics and were before I had a problem. I very well remember the constant worry and dread. It is horrible.

I know that is weird but it is the way it is. My son has been an alcoholic since he was 14 years old, my daughter started drinking when she was 20 and quickly became addicted. I remember asking them, why, why, why? I simply could not understand it. It made no sense to me.

Then I had my gastric bypass and found myself in the same boat.

In some ways I am glad this happened to me because now I understand what they are going through.

Third, tell Rachelita that I wish her the VERY best. It is a difficult step to take but one well worth taking. It may well save her life.

Love to you both,
Cindi