Why I'm here at 2:43 am.

[Guest]

I woke up at seven thirty this morning, horrible headache. I pull my self out of bed go to make some coffee and I notice my husband is sitting at the computer. Then it hits me, it's seven thirty in the evening. I blacked out.
Then I remember, I remember we went to the beach around noon, I had two glasses of wine there, then we came home and I probably drank a bottle and a half of wine, the last thing I remember is sitting outside on the patio.
I went back to bed till nine then I got up because I couldn't sleep. I walked around my house and found a bunch of food I half ate, I remembered once I saw it and I am so grossed out by how much I ate.
I have to do something, this blacking out thing happens at least four times a week.
So I'm starting here, I'm going tomarrow to buy the book, I have tried stopping on my own but have not had more than one sober day in years.
I'll need your support, Thanks.
SSD.

[Guest]

Why I'm here at 2:43 am.

Hey ssd,
I just want to say hi and I hope you get the book and start backing out of this hole we've all been in! It's very dark down there!! And it is a bottomless pit!
You are understood here and I look forward to getting to know you through all this.. You are not alone.
Does your hubby drink also? Mine does and it's hard to stop with wine and beer around. I made the decision to stop though and have slipped up some but all in all I'm much better than I was...
Keep posting.
Nancy:d

[Guest]

Why I'm here at 2:43 am.

Thanks for all your support!

[Guest]

Why I'm here at 2:43 am.

Yes, but as time has gone by his drinking has become more moderation and mine has spun out of control. I'm not sure how i will react... we had made a pact to not bring home the big bottles of wine each night, just one small one. But i would pick up a small one knowing he would also, so we we were still ending up drinking a bottle of wine each every night. Now that is down from each of us drinking a big bottle a night, in essence two bottles of wine a night each so i think the progress is in the right direction.
I don't know if i will ever be the kind of person who can just have a glass of wine. I understand that alcohol suppresses the inhibitory responces of the body , some of those being the inhibition to drink and do incredibly stupid things....and i lose that inhibition after one drink, at this point, after one drink i will drink till i black out so... I don't know what is going to happen from here but, thanks for caring and responding to my post. It really makes it better knowing I'm not alone and other people are out there listening and also i like having the accountablility of logging on here and talking about it.
Thanks
ssd

[Guest]

Why I'm here at 2:43 am.

I could totally relate to your post. My boyfriend and I have a question we ask each other when one of us blacks out: "How did it end?" We tell each other what we know, but there are always those big holes in the story. Anyway, I just ordered all the stuff today to get started on the program and see if I can moderate. Here's to conscious living!

Jeanie