Time to come clean

[Guest]

I won't even spill it all at one time, because it's the same story that everyone has. I, too, wonder when the point came where I lost control.

I drink at least a six-pack of beer every day, and on the weekends sometimes two. Only by myself, though. If we go somewhere, I won't drink. I think that maybe I'm trying to look like I'm not a big drinker, and feel so smug that I'm better than that (and better than THEM???) ... who knows what goes on in my head. No matter what, though, I know it can't continue. I obviously have a problem if I'm here.

So I found the site yesterday after doing a Google search on "how to stop drinking". I saw where l-Glutamine can help with cravings, so I bought some yesterday. I spent the most of today reading posts and started to feel like I might get a handle on this. But what did I do on the way home from work? Yep, I stopped and bought beer.

Tomorrow I'm going to get some Kudzu and add that to the l-Glut. I know that one day of taking anything won't show results, but I'm hoping to be able to cut down and eventually stop.

I fool myself into thinking that nobody notices, but I know my husband does. He feels guilty about my drinking, because I didn't drink until we met. I spent 40 years NOT drinking, and have spent the last 9 drinking more and more until now it's every day and I hate it.

So I'll stick around here and hope that tomorrow is better.

[Guest]

Time to come clean

time to come clean

Hi Pokey,

welcome to your way out. I know it's said alot, but really the first step to gaining control over your drinking is to realise you have a problem. You've found this site and many, many people here are doing really well controlling their drinking using this programme.

It may take a while before it all "clicks"; some of us seem to have a catalyst which finally motivates us to give it all we can. Certainly hanging around here, reading everyone's messages and posting some of your own will help, especially with figuring out some of the reasons for why you drink the way you do.

I think if you can take at least as many of the vitamins and other supps as possible (if not the topa - I've decided against that, but its a personal choice, many seem use it successfully) it will help with your general sense of well being. I have found the calms really helped me when I hit that 6pm full-on craving!! I am also going to get the CDs as I beleive they will help me to maintain control over my drinking long term.

By the way, I am on day 15 of complete abstinence - a record for me!! I haven't read the book, but as far as I know it recommends at least a month of complete abstinence before trying moderated drinking. Sounds scary at first, but for me not drinking at all really bought the clarity of mind I had been so desperate for.

So, whether you choose abstinence or moderation - good luck and be strong - you can do it!!

Lulu

[Guest]

Time to come clean

Re: time to come clean

I guess it doesn't really matter. I got my usual six-pack on the way home from work tonight, and have even drank 3 hot ones at home after those were gone. So much for my efforts.

I got the Kudzu at Vitamin Shoppe after work and took one. Of course, I washed it down with a beer.

We had a huge blow-up with my 28 y/o son last night. He came home drunk and started fights with his sisters at 3 a.m. My husband (not his dad) and him got into a huge fight, and I'm so tired today. The boy was in an apartment but lost his job last summer, then lost his car and has no money. He has joined the military but doesn't leave until August, so meanwhile he's sitting around the house. He's supposed to be running and getting in shape, instead he goes to the neighborhood bar and sits there drinking and smoking. We have had it with him.

I guess I'll use any excuse to drink, but today that's the one.

[Guest]

Time to come clean

Re: time to come clean

Hey Pokey,
sounds like things are tough right now.. so don't expect a miraculous recovery overnight!! just take it gently.
Everyone here has taken time to get themselves organised, get all the stuff, and some have had to make a quite a few attempts before getting the right strategy & arriving somewhere they're happy with.. so please don't feel sad just yet.. you've found a good place with good people who are here mostly for the long-haul.. and heaps of mutual support.
Just keep in touch and keep on trying.. you 'll be OK.
Love
MFM

[Guest]

Time to come clean

Re: time to come clean

Hi Pokey, MFM said it very well so lease don't be hard on yourself. We have many slips or falls along the way and I think each one teaches us something. The beautiful thing about the program and this site in particular is that it seems easier to get back on the bike and start riding again.

I think it is a combination of the support here and the effects of the suplements and other elements of the program. One day at a time is a really good way to live especially when you are starting. Many times I have found that I was living for a moment or an hour at a time as I couldn't see beyond it.

Really look after yourself during this time as the more you put into taking care of you and folllowing the steps the better set up for success you will be.

Good luck and take care

Yvonne