I have taken advantage of your stories which have helped tremendously so I thought it appropriate to contribute.
I rarely drank in my early twenties - including not too much partying in college. Met my husband to be whose family enjoys cocktail hour; my father was a "controlled" alcoholic with some bad episodes and my mother didn't drink so it was not a "family thing" -- my in-laws have a giant bar in their family room. We'd get hammered at weddings and thought it was ok. Things started going downhill in my late 30's- difficult mother relationship and already a tough one with my father which continued to get worse. My husband didn't want children and flatly refused to discuss it. He is a wonderful guy and we have a lot in common -- still best friends...but the things that are complementary about us are really polarized. Long story short, there were a lot of issues building, causing friction and his way of coping is to stick his head in the sand and because I want to deal with them... it was a lot like being ignored, rejected... which was a lot like how it felt growing up in my household. I began to go out with friends and have 3-4 glasses of wine -- we'd start with a bottle just because we knew we want that and probably more. I think this was to avoid going home and being ignored. I have... had... a stressful job (bad boss, mostly unfulfilling assignments) and pretty much everything on all fronts just sucked. Things really kicked into high gear when (I'll make this short but it's a story that went on for three years) my mother's dementia got to the point something had to be done.... my brother had her living on her $600 social security and only supplemented with a $100 monthly draw on a reverse mortgage (He had power of attorney). She was living like a pauper and often didn't have enough money for food... plus she really couldn't care for herself... his answer was to have a senior service come in twice a month to check on her...Net/net, it became clear he was trying to keep equity in her home for inheritance. After my third visit (we both live far away from her), it was clear she had easily moved into Stage 4 so I hired an attorney who essentially took custody away from my brother and with a professional guardian in place was able to place her in a great place where she's well cared for. Obviously the house was sold and needless to say she was venemous with me.... That's when I really started drinking and got a DUI when I drank too much while on my anti-depressent. Thrown in jail overnight - not a pleasant experience. But didn't stop - essentially got fired from my job for being negative and combative (which I now understand are behaviors of an advancing alcoholic). My husband is also private and doesn't believe in rehab so I was pretty much told to buck up, grow up and start being responsible... the problem was the things I asked from him weren't delivered on... he continued his behavior so why shouldn't I? Crazy destructive. I fell drunk in the front yard once and passed out while gardening once... no doubt the neighborhood got a lot of fodder for the gossip circle. The drinking has been escalating and I realized I would die early if I didn't stop... In my last physical, I had a slightly enlarged liver... which I'm sure is worse a year and half later. I have an uncomfortable feeling under my right ribcage and I'm scared to death it's something serious. However, every doctor I've been to has lectured me and made me feel like a criminal so I'm going to do this program and straighten myself out before my next physical and then guage the damage. I have high hopes for the program -- my husband is also facing up to the fact he's got to change his interactions with me -- he never has showed any anger until today and actually that helped me as I thought he just didn't care what I did. I started all the classics behaviors in the past year - hiding bottles, sneaking off to the store to buy wine when just a few days earlier I promised to quit, I have blackouts, sleep a lot and have gained roughly 60 lbs (20 of which I've lost over my various programs so I'm a bit ahead here).
Anyway, long "My Story" but getting to this place has taken a long time.
I rarely drank in my early twenties - including not too much partying in college. Met my husband to be whose family enjoys cocktail hour; my father was a "controlled" alcoholic with some bad episodes and my mother didn't drink so it was not a "family thing" -- my in-laws have a giant bar in their family room. We'd get hammered at weddings and thought it was ok. Things started going downhill in my late 30's- difficult mother relationship and already a tough one with my father which continued to get worse. My husband didn't want children and flatly refused to discuss it. He is a wonderful guy and we have a lot in common -- still best friends...but the things that are complementary about us are really polarized. Long story short, there were a lot of issues building, causing friction and his way of coping is to stick his head in the sand and because I want to deal with them... it was a lot like being ignored, rejected... which was a lot like how it felt growing up in my household. I began to go out with friends and have 3-4 glasses of wine -- we'd start with a bottle just because we knew we want that and probably more. I think this was to avoid going home and being ignored. I have... had... a stressful job (bad boss, mostly unfulfilling assignments) and pretty much everything on all fronts just sucked. Things really kicked into high gear when (I'll make this short but it's a story that went on for three years) my mother's dementia got to the point something had to be done.... my brother had her living on her $600 social security and only supplemented with a $100 monthly draw on a reverse mortgage (He had power of attorney). She was living like a pauper and often didn't have enough money for food... plus she really couldn't care for herself... his answer was to have a senior service come in twice a month to check on her...Net/net, it became clear he was trying to keep equity in her home for inheritance. After my third visit (we both live far away from her), it was clear she had easily moved into Stage 4 so I hired an attorney who essentially took custody away from my brother and with a professional guardian in place was able to place her in a great place where she's well cared for. Obviously the house was sold and needless to say she was venemous with me.... That's when I really started drinking and got a DUI when I drank too much while on my anti-depressent. Thrown in jail overnight - not a pleasant experience. But didn't stop - essentially got fired from my job for being negative and combative (which I now understand are behaviors of an advancing alcoholic). My husband is also private and doesn't believe in rehab so I was pretty much told to buck up, grow up and start being responsible... the problem was the things I asked from him weren't delivered on... he continued his behavior so why shouldn't I? Crazy destructive. I fell drunk in the front yard once and passed out while gardening once... no doubt the neighborhood got a lot of fodder for the gossip circle. The drinking has been escalating and I realized I would die early if I didn't stop... In my last physical, I had a slightly enlarged liver... which I'm sure is worse a year and half later. I have an uncomfortable feeling under my right ribcage and I'm scared to death it's something serious. However, every doctor I've been to has lectured me and made me feel like a criminal so I'm going to do this program and straighten myself out before my next physical and then guage the damage. I have high hopes for the program -- my husband is also facing up to the fact he's got to change his interactions with me -- he never has showed any anger until today and actually that helped me as I thought he just didn't care what I did. I started all the classics behaviors in the past year - hiding bottles, sneaking off to the store to buy wine when just a few days earlier I promised to quit, I have blackouts, sleep a lot and have gained roughly 60 lbs (20 of which I've lost over my various programs so I'm a bit ahead here).
Anyway, long "My Story" but getting to this place has taken a long time.
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