AL is after me - please help!

[Janice]

Its day 8. My husband's away tonight on business. My son's just gone out to football training. I'm home alone but I can hear 'his' voice. He's been around all night. He's whispering in my head. He's telling me to go downstairs and open the fridge where I'll find my husband's leftover wine from the weekend. "Go on, just one glass to relax you, you've worked hard all day. You can start again tomorrow". I can hear him. He's after me. I can't let him win. I need to hide. Please help.

Janicexxx

[startingover]

AL is after me - please help!

Yep Wally is right, you choose whether or not you take that drink and you know that if you do you will regret it.
Do something else, even tip it down the drain, dont let a circumstance like that ruin all your good work

[startingover]

AL is after me - please help!

Another thing that might help is the "Rain in my heart" documentaries. it is a hard hitting documentary from the uk about alcoholism. i'll bump it for you. Hang on.....

[SAUSAGE]

AL is after me - please help!

Janice

Can you tip the open wine away? - go out if you can or alternatively look on MWO - find some of the "What I really hate about drinking" type threads and read them - or look back at your old posts, ones when you were really low after you had been drinking - anything to motivate yourself, just anything......

[Janice]

AL is after me - please help!

I've put the wine outside in the garage. Its a box of wine and there's a lot left. I've ran a bath, its nearly 9pm here in England so going to get my pjs on. This has really caught me by surprise tonight. The thought jiust popped in my head and no matter what I did tonight, I kept going back and "hearing" those thoughts. I could almost hear "why bother? You know you'll be having a drink sooner or later". Where did that come from?? I have been so motivated.

[Guest]

AL is after me - please help!

Its not worth it Janice. Its a false escape... and you know in your heart where it takes you. Its a lie and just dont listen to it. Anything else is better than a drink.. anything.

Its taken you a long week to get to this point. It takes a lot of effort this first bit. Why give up on the effort it has taken so far.. Why give up on yourself?... Why give up on the hope that you want to give yourself.

I say tip the wine out.. stuff your husband. My husband drinks too and it was awful when I started, so I know what this is like. I poured his drink out several times when I felt very low and the angst that we had afterwards I dont regret now, even though it was not nice at the time. You do what you have to do. Its worth the angst... because you eventually get to a place where it does not matter if there is booze around cos you actually dont want it. So protect yourself till you get to that stage.

do you have stairs in your house.. walk up and down the stairs 40 times really fast. Do something physical.. get on the floor face down and then get up and jump 40 times, till you sweat. Go on. Do it. No one can see you... and its free to do. Go on, I dare you... take the chance on happiness. Its worth it.

Brigid

[SAUSAGE]

AL is after me - please help!

Oh and Janice- Forgot
I'm sure you've seen DoggyGirl's before and after pictures after 6 months AF - on the my story section - "my new story " I think it's called. Even if you have looked at them beofre, look at them again!

[startingover]

AL is after me - please help!

Well said Brigid!

Yes, you will get to a point where it doesnt matter if there is al about. But give yourself the time to get there.
In the meantime, do those star jumps!!!

[Janice]

AL is after me - please help!

Tried to load the video but of all the nights, this blinking computer is so slow. Thanks Starting, I'll keep trying. Thank you all for keeping me afloat, it would have been so easy to pour it, so very easy to drink it but so very hard tomorrow. I know I would regret it. Its not the 8 days I'd be losing, its almost like, it would be my mind. I would be letting Al back into it. I'm okay, its past, he's gone. I'm just a bit taken back when I thought I was in control.

[Janice]

AL is after me - please help!

Brigid, you made me smile - I've just had new stair carpet put down!! Brigid, I swear you should write a book about your recovery. You always "hit home" with me.

[Guest]

AL is after me - please help!

Yes, it would be losing your mind.. losing your hope and losing your life. This is the most honest I've seen you Janice... thats great.

High price.. and for what? A glass of wine?

Well done. Its serious business this. On to tomorrow now hey.
Brigid

[startingover]

AL is after me - please help!

Hey Janice, you have learned something tonight. 2 things in fact. One is from time to time cravings will jump up at you and secondly, you can beat them when they do!
Be proud of yourself, you have just done something amazing....
Try again with the documentary when you can, they really are worth watching.

and if you get a craving again, post, post and post some more.

Now, have you done those star jumps yet ??? :-)

[gyco]

AL is after me - please help!

hi jan i just read your thread hang tuff kid, you can do it, hav a hot bath, i wish you well gyco

[Janice]

AL is after me - please help!

Thanks Starting........I'm really glad I came back on tonight. You helped me get through this and I won't forget. Janicexxx

[gyco]

AL is after me - please help!

haah wish i was a gyco in the water, hahha