View Full Version : Coming to terms

February 2nd, 2006, 01:15 AM
I have been drinking steadily since the age of 14, I am now almost 32. It's been along run, fun at times and desperate at others. Sometimes almost costing me everything.

The last few weeks have been rough. I had a physical several weeks ago, just before going out of town on business for a week. You know, one of those trade show deals where everyone focuses more on drinking than working, and it is expected. After nights of endless binges, consisting of drinking rocks glasses of tequila waking up not knowing how I got back to my room, I returned home with a letter from my Dr. with blood test results. Let's just say the old liver isn't what it used to be not to mention a very high tryglyceride levels. After opening the letter I knew what I had to do, quit drinking. And quit I did, for a whole 5 days followed by a weak attempt at moderation.

Today, I went for my follow up appointment with my Dr. I really wanted to lay it out what was going on, but it was easier to say to him that I quit drinking and have been exercising the last 2 weeks since the letter came in. But he knows. As soon as I said that he said that is great, let's run some blood work to see if the liver panel has dropped at all, as if I really hadn't drank, it would show. I half confessed (more like 1/1oth) that I had a couple on the weekend. He said, that should still make a difference, and ran the blood work. He then followed up by saying no booze at all for the next 30 days, and we will retest. This was quickly followed up with, "Can you do it??" Even more proof he knows.

I returned home tonight to a message from his office saying I needed to call them to follow up on the new results. Never thought he would get 2 hour turnaround to call me on it. As shitty as I feel about it, I actually appreciate it. But I am scared. I have spent tonight, distant from my family. Trying to figure out if I can beat this thing. I don't know if I can. God knows I have tried many times, only to find a self serving reason to jump ship.

Tomorrow I will call him. Hopefully I will be smart enough to let him in, he is a great Dr. and I hope he can help.

I have started a blog to help me with this. If you are interested, check it out at stevesstruggle.blogspot.com/ (http://stevesstruggle.blogspot.com/)

February 2nd, 2006, 11:14 AM
Hi Steve,

Hi, I wanted to respond because your story touched my heart, not sure what to say or what your wanting to hear (or ready to hear...) That is very hard and eye opening news.

There are all different stories and people from all different back grounds here...some people have been able to stay sober for awhile and some are going for moderation. Some like you have liver problems.. we get though them together. Some of the supp's listed in the book may help you..I know milk thistle is good for liver tissue and cell rebuild... You will get through it one hour at a time, then one day at a time. Please except all the love and support your family is willing to offer. This site is also full of wonderful information and support.

Good Luck at the Doctors today. I will keep you in my thoughts and support. Please post back and let us know how it went.

Thanks for sharing,

February 2nd, 2006, 09:17 PM
Welcome to the board Steve;

You have come to the right place..It sounds like you've had a pretty rough time. We all have had different experiences in trying to abstain or cut back. But we all support whatever road you choose for yourself!


February 2nd, 2006, 10:38 PM
I am one of the ones Tammie was talking about with liver problems as well. I talked to my doc about my drinking before the liver thing came up, but of course I played it down. I said I drank 8-10 beers or a bottle of wine 3-4 days a week. It was really more like double that and every single day. I have been sober for 5 weeks now, she could see that by the proof in my blood tests(liver function tests close to normal now). See if I had lied about not drinking for 5 weeks, she would have been able to tell by my test results.

It's in your best interest to "come clean" with your doctor.
I admitted that I was drinking a lot more than I told her when I first saw her 2 months ago. She said doctors pretty much know that a patient is most likely underestimating any bad habits they confess. She also pointed out that they are only there to help us, the more honest we are, they better they(docs) can help.

I hope you called and told your doc the whole story or at least closer to it today. Best of luck to you. This forum is full of honest helpful people who have all been or are in the same place you are. It's a great program, you can do it like so many others have. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.


February 2nd, 2006, 11:23 PM
Thank you

Thank you everyone for the support. I called back today, and spoke with the nurse. She confirmed that the liver panel was actually higher again. She passed along a message from the Dr. saying that I really need to abstain from any alcohol. Plus he said to come back if I wanted to talk before my follow up in 30 days. I haven't had anything to drink in yesterday or today, so that is a definate plus.

I did take today off from work, I wasn't really sure if that was a good idea at the time. But it worked out. Things have been pretty tough there as well, and may have made things worse today. All in all I feel ok, but a little depressed. I kept my daughter home from daycare for the first half of the day to spend some one on one time with her, and that was great. After I dropped her off, I went down to the wildlife area about 2 miles from my house and just spent the afternoon exploring.

Next week is going to be tough. I will be traveling on business again, and those are the hardest times to control. Hopefully I can find something else to do where I am going to keep me busy in the evenings.

I haven't decided weather long term moderation is a realistic goal or abstaining is the better option. Right now, it needs to be nothing to get my health back.

February 3rd, 2006, 04:44 AM

Hi Steve,
My heart goes out to you tonight. (it's night here just now). I understand how hard it must be for you as I used to work in bars where working guys like you used to come. I know how the pressure is really on and all at those times when you're in a group with collegues.
Just thought you might be interested in the thread at the ask Dr Garcia part of the site called "Cold Turkey". I found Dr Garcia's comments pretty informative.
I am really lucky to have a Doctor I feel I can be truthful with.. and I think that is pretty much vital in our situation. So if you can't be that way with your Doc then maybe you should try looking around for one you can relate to a bit better? You shouldn't be ashamed because there are literally millions of people experiencing difficulty with alcohol. What a HUGE money-making industry it is!!
This is a great site for getting support and getting over feeling bad about the problem. I've only discovered it a little while ago but already I've found there are quite a lot of partial-solutions I'd never heard of.. add them all together and there's a lot more hope than I've ever had before!!
Years ago in one of those work party situations I remember a collegue who would come out to dinner with us but always said no thanks to drinks and he drank ice water and always went home before we started to get too drunk. I was young and wondered why. But I do remember the next morning it always occurred to me how much money he had saved by leaving early and how much healthier he was than the rest of us.. He probably had a wife, kids & a mortgage. I later learned he was a recovered alcoholic. I think of him these days with a lot of respect. Quiet & strong, he never got caught up in our silly circus. I imagine that being sober he could laugh at us and always remember what was important.. while my forgetfulness came with the first glass of wine.

Wishing you strength, good health, good memory,

February 4th, 2006, 01:00 AM
Hi Steve,

"Coming to terms" is a beautiful positive statement. It's a start to a better life. That was what I did ....4 1/2 months ago. For years I had tried and failed to stop drinking. I really began to think I was a hopeless alcoholic. With a great job and great family, I had no reason to drink like I did...I could never figure it out.
This program 'My Way Out' rescued me. You didn't mention if you are doing this program. I highly recommend it. The supplements suggested in the book really helped in reducing the alcohol withdrawl symptoms and cravings. You talked about being distant from your family and unsure if you can beat it ...I felt the same way when I tried going cold turkey because the thought of a glass of wine was always in the back of my mind. I was always moody.The entire program helped me over those hurdles.
If you haven't read the book you should.
I finally have my life back and so can you.

All the best....oh,and..the blog is a great idea.

p.s. the book recommends milk thistle (for the liver) 3X a day

February 14th, 2006, 04:45 AM
Coming to terms

Hi Guys,
Not sure if I should butt in again, but wanted to support CC's idea Steve that you can begin with the nutritional supplements. I've had no luck getting topa. I've also suffered severe depression related to drinking. It's an amazing experience feeling yourself get more & more completely out of touch with everything & everyone you ever cared about. In 'research' on this site I found reference to 'leaky gut' which helped me go on and look up dietary cures for leaky gut on the internet.. and more.
I'm feeling a lot better.. far less depressed. If you're interested, there's a post under people just starting out.. under 'the depression thing'
Wishing you both all the best,
It's really nice to hear from some guys too.