Sunday 23rd November

[Mackeral]

Good Morning all,

I have hit a bit of a bump in the road the last few days..Today is the start of my 5th week AF. But i have found myself lacking a form of escape..Dont get me wrong i love the new sober me and i wouldnt change it for the world..But what i did get from alcahol was a way to switch off my brain..Shut out the world..

Like anything this is good in moderation..But what i did was shut out the world every single day. I have started to miss this..On the odd occasion..I would like to escape..I just haven't found a way of doing this yet..That is legal yet anyway..lol

Also had another first last night..I fell asleep at 8pm..and woke up 4-30am this morning..I have never done that before( I was bathed and dressed by 5..Its a good job my wife was still asleep she'd of jumped out of her skin)..My advisor at D.A.T. told me i might get the jitters around the 4-5 week mark..She said this was normal..If so bring on week 6..I have had all the confidence in the world upto now and i don't want anything to change...

Hopefully thats all this is...Just a bump in the road..

Going away to visit family this morning and wont be back till Tuesday..Hope all are well and safe and in good mood this morning.

[startingover]

Sunday 23rd November

Macks it is just a bump in the road, any negative feelings wont last, just go with them. You are doing brilliantly.

[Doggygirl]

Sunday 23rd November

Good morning and thanks for getting us started Mack! And hello to you starting over.

Mack, this is one of many bumps in the road you will likely go through, so don't let it throw you. After years with our heads in the bottle, we go through SO many changes physically, emotionally, routine and habit wise, and more to get the monkey off our backs.

"Procrastinating things" was HUGE for me when my head was in the bottle - whether that was putting off stuff on the "to do" list or whether it was putting of dealing with emotional or mental types of things. Is that similar to what you mean when you say "shutting out the world?" I was putting as much as possible off until later - and of course later never came.

I'm not sure if we're even on the same page but if it's anything similar...I found it very useful (and still do!) to keep lists of things to do and to check them off (sense of accomplishment) when they are done. As far as giving my brain a rest from the world, exercise has helped IMMENSELY. No matter what is on my mind, it seems to clear right out while I'm working out, and often I feel a better sense of clarity when I'm done. Hobbies are important too and I'm not sure if you've found some new ones. Keep trying stuff if you haven't found something yet! I never thought I'd say that physical activity does it for me...but it does.

Not sure if any of that is useful. Main thing is to hang in there because this WILL get easier as you get further and further down the path.

Well, figure skating is about to start so I'm gonna toddle off. Is the Free Dance and there is drama - right now the Russian #2 team is ahead of the Russian #1 team. There will be stares and glares!!! And wedgies!! And tutus are in this year!!!

Later this morning I go to my SMART face to face meeting. I'm so glad there is one in my area. It's small but I like our eclectic little sober group.

Later all and Happy Sober Sunday!

DG

[Janice]

Sunday 23rd November

Morning Mack, DG and Starting from a wet, blustery, snowy England!!! Mack, staying positive is the key to staying away from the drink.......whether its a new hobby, a new interest, exercise, or whatever - go for it, throw yourself into it and you'll find your new "escape".

Well I got through my dinner party in one piece!! Hosting kept me busy......and, not everyone was drinking all night, ie the two wives were driving so I didn't feel left out. Food worked out well and everyone seemed to enjoy the evening. Didn't get to bed till 2am then woke up at 8am and.........went for a swim!!! Did 40 today, an improvement on yesterday.

Another xmas event coming up in 2 weeks time but not going to stress myself out about it.......I KNOW I can do it!!! Off for my coffee - that is one thing I am NOT giving up!!

Wishing everyone a happy, alcohol free Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!

Janicexxx

[Tom 4.0]

Sunday 23rd November

Good mornining everyone!

Mack, I certainly know how you feel about wanting to "shut off your brain". When the chores are done, the bills are paid, it's Sunday afternoon on the deck....we all know what happens next.

You got me thinking though; perhaps this is where we need to insert some yoga / meditation. I'm no expert on the subject, but I've dabbled in it in the past and I do recall that one of the goals of yoga is to "clear the mind". That seems similar to "shutting off the brain", but it sounds a bit more healthy. I do exercise pretty hard and it does clear my mind, but it also leaves me pretty jacked-up.

Perhaps this would be a valuable addition to the toolbox. Can anyone offer guidance or experience in this area?

Have a great day!

[retteacher]

Sunday 23rd November

I too loved that shut-off-the-brain feeling. I'm not sure about what could substitute for that. Meditation remains difficult for me, because I'm very active & don't like to sit. I find that when I do, my brain goes wild.

For me, active things like cooking or sewing are very absorbing & a kind of "active meditation." That seems to take my desire for a drink away...getting myself involved in something like that.

Yesterday, we had a wonderful day w/non-drinking friends: lunch & a great hike in the cold, sunny air. It was an experience that I can fall back on when I think that a drink might be a fun. Real fun is sober fun for me. I fell instantly to sleep last night & slept peacefully through 8 full hours. I feel like a new person today.

I have only completed 3 full days of sobriety, but I feel so wonderful that I never, ever want to drink again. I know you've all heard that before from me, but I'm determined. Yesterday's discussion about committment & determination has been food for thought for me. I won't let anything jeopardize my sobriety...not even the big Thanksgiving feast coming up or all the holiday festivities. I cannot feel festive when I'm drinking...it's an oxymoron (only an old English teacher would use that word).

Take care. We have plans today that do not include AL. BTW, Sundays used to be a real challenge for me, but now I've had so many sober ones that I no longer dread them. Some things actually do change & evolve.

Mary

PS: Thank you all for your patience.

[LVT25]

Sunday 23rd November

Good morning!

Macks, I wish I had some good advice for something new to "use" to escape. You've already gotten some great ideas here. Are you wanted to escape the stress of the day to day life or world situations or ??? I used to think I needed a beer and a cigarette to relax or for a reward. Now, I sit down, turn on the computer.....have a snack..... I think you'll find it gets easier with time. I think the supplements, exercise and cd's do help with some of that.

Janice--glad your dinner part went so well and now you know you can do this!

Tom, it's interesting you mentioned meditation. That subjects keeps coming up here. There are a couple of great threads about it if you search them. I'm sure when WIP rises and shines she can direct you there better than I. I love my yoga class, I did some yoga/meditation with the television yesterday, I might try to make that a habit!

Had a busy evening helping with a banquet last night. Usually a night of drinking because it's free. I had an Odoul's with tomato juice and olives--pretty tasty, and a Diet Pepsi!
Not hard to turn down the AL this time. YAY!

Well, I better keep moving along here, gotta teach Sunday School this morning and then Thanksgiving dinner potluck!! I've got to start biking/walking again! Anyone know anything about rowing machines???

REteacher--you don't require a lot of patience!! Love your input and love the word oxymoron.

Have a great day all!:h

[A Work in Progress]

Sunday 23rd November

Good morning all. LV I love rowing machines; the Concept 2 is a great machine. Wonderful workout. I need incorporate the rowing into my routine again.

Macks, I agree with Tom... meditation is a great way to deal with the upset in the mind. It does NOT "turn off" our thoughts, but teaches us how to gently detach from them so that we no longer feel the need to escape... or not nearly so much.

Lots of shuffling stuff around and moving stuff to do today. Hoping everyone has a great day!

wip

[Cinders]

Sunday 23rd November

Hi, Everyone.

I have just been reading a lot the last couple of days.

I had a very rough week at work last week and am in the contemplative mode.

Hubby flies out today and it is kind of a relief. I can sit back and relax tonight. Although first I am going to take my grandson to the movies. I hope it works out, anyways. I am looking forward to seeing Quantum of Solace, James Bond. I like all those action flicks.

Anyway, am licking my wounds from last week but did want to jump in and say "hi."

Also, a special shout out to WIP. We love you and care about you. Leave the bad and keep the good. There is an awful lot of good here. :l

Mary, like you, I just keep going. I am never going to give up and I am going to stay optimistic.

Love,
Cindi

[A Work in Progress]

Sunday 23rd November

Thanks Cinders. I'm still feeling pretty stunned and/but will do my best to follow your advice.

[Determinator]

Sunday 23rd November

Happy Sunday ABlanders!

Macks, thanks for the kickstart and for your honesty. that's how this program works....you gotta let us know how to help. bravo.
Agreed wit Tom on the meditation and yoga. see if there is a class nearby and give it a go. and there are tons of online resources as well and as WIP pointed out many links here on the forums.

I like to blur the lines between hypno and meditation and really enjoy laying down before bed with hypno and mental exercises such as visualizations. There are some hypno files you can download from music download sites I found out.

exercise has really helped me as well. Yesterday i did my jiujitsu class and that gives me a wonderful mental escape/battery charging. the endorphin rush is fantastic and then a feeling of serenity that lasts for hours.

Cinders and WIP you are two of my very favoritest peeps so I really feel it when you are down. Glad to see things are on the upswing with your good attitudes.

well, it's time to chop some garlic for breakfast.

be well everyone!

[vinophile]

Sunday 23rd November

Happy Sunday Absters,

Macks, I really understand the looking for an escape by drinking. One of the things I miss is the getting away from my own thoughts. Sometimes I don't even know what's bothering me!! Lately, I really have to dig inside my own head(not always fun) to find out what's eating at me. I was sitting in the hospital the other day( my son had a kidney stone... he's fine now.) when I watched the nurses at the triage station. They "sort out" the patients according to the urgency of their medical problem. I have set up a sort of mental triage station in my head. When something is bothering me I try to figure out where it belongs on my to do list. Some problems must be dealt with immediately or else they will fester in my brain, grow bigger and ultimately make me feel awful.Some problems can be put on the back burner and can be dealt with later. The main thing is to deal with them now and put them in their place. A niggling of irritation on Sunday can develop (in my mind) to a full blown crisis by Monday if I don't sort it out. It's not always fun to do but I have found it helps me from being sideswiped by out of control feelings. This dealing with feelings is a whole new thing for me. I'm used to sweeping them under the table, denying they exist or simply drowning them.

This week(Thanksgiving) will be a big challenge for me. I'm having 30 people to dinner on Thursday and typically I would get through the meal and dessert and then start drinking when it was time to cleanup. There will be none of that this year!!!!
I hope to get to a few f2f meetings this week as they do give you a clear sense of accountablilty (which seems to help me).
I love all your posts. We are truly not alone in this!!!!!

Have a wonderful Sunday!!

Janet

[Doggygirl]

Sunday 23rd November

Hi again AFers.

Janice - it is wonderful to hear that that dinner party was a hit!

Tom3 I keep getting intrigued by the notion of meditation, but have never taken that next step to learn more about it. I know there are a few people in these parts that know something about it - WIP who was already mentioned being one of them. Looks like she's got a busy day going today, but I bet she will weigh in - she's great with sharing. I'm guessing one could also use the Search feature (especially if you are better at it than I am!!) to find posts by WIP (or anyone) on the subject of meditation.

Mary your lunch / hike yesterday sounds like fun. Mr. Doggy and I were talking just a little while ago that we hope for one more "Indian Summer" type Sunday so we can have one more bike ride before winter sets in. It was NOT bike riding weather IMO, today though! (20 degrees this morning early, and probably 30 degrees right now)

OK. Now I will use the word oxymoron in a sentence.

Me to a specific ex boyfriend I have in mind: "You are not an oxymoron, you are just a MORON."

LVT - sounds like you have a busy day today too. Can't help you with the rowing machines but it looks like others can!

WIP. I saw the post that upset you, and I can certainly understand why you got upset. I LOVE your bare bones honesty. Unfortunately everyone can't seem to take it and I'm sure you don't expect them to. It's unfortunate that people get so nasty. Personally I choose to just ignore people whose opinions hold no interest for me - it's a big community and there is plenty of diversity for everyone to find what they need and ignore the rest. I hope you keep posting the truth as you know it because I certainly learn a lot from what you have to say.

Cindi I hope you are able to spend the day re-charging your batteries for the week ahead!

Deter I miss your garlic avatars. Are you having garlic for lunch too????

Janet - thank you for sharing your way of doing "mental triage" on things. I'm going to really ponder that one because I think that way of looking at it might really be helpful for me. I too have issues with allowing things to fester and become larger than reality if I'm not careful.

I went to my SMART Face to face meeting and that was good as always. We're a small group so things are VERY informal. One of the things we talked about today was dealing with urges to drink. Deep and slow breathing always seems to be a good idea. In addition to that, a suggestion was made to imagine a dial that is initially at a high level when the urge takes hold and feels strong. As you breath deep and slow and feel your heart rate slowing down, imagine the dial going down = the urge is getting weak. I thought that might be an interesting technique to try. The guy who suggested it was referencing a study done with cocaine users where they actually hooked people up to electrodes and monitored the brain activity during urges. Anyway, FWIW!!

OK - now I am off for the R&R part of the day. And maybe a piece of sugar free cheesecake that is calling my name, or some coconut oil / chocolate bark make with stevia. That would actually be the smart choice if I'm to dive into a sweet thing.

I hope I didn't miss anyone. Hello to all who are yet to come! Thank you to all for making my 6 months anni yesterday a special one!

DG

[SAUSAGE]

Sunday 23rd November

Hi everyone

Just read through the thread, interesting reading about how we get round finding a form of escape to replace alcohol. I agree with DG - exercise is a great form of escape - no matter how stressed / worried/ tired / depressed I am when I start my exercise, I ALWAYS feel so much better / happier / more energy when it's over. The only problem I have is motivating myself to get out there and do the exercise, particularly in cold dark days! Sometimes , with my children, it's just not possible for me to get out there and exercise if I have no-one to look after them and I can't get out, then I am in a very vulnerable situation and can feel very low. That's when it's good to come on here - theres' always someone who understands on MWO - any time of the day or night!!

Have a good AF day everyone

[southernbelle47]

Sunday 23rd November

Happy Sunday all!
Just a quick check in as about to go to daughter's for early Thanksgiving dinner.
Macks..........Have I told you today how very proud of you I am?
Everyone else also!
This week through the end of the year will be tough for all of us. Let's get our toolboxes out and use everything we have to stay sober.
There are certainly some good ideas here.
I'm off to the gym every day that it is open myself.
I love you all and hope you have a great week!
Cinders....I so understand that feeling of needing some "space"....

:lNancy