AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

[beatle]

Ha! Bet you didn't expect to see me start this thread! But it is, in fact, quarter after midnight here, so I thought I'd grab the chance.

I've been rather absent on this abstinence forum recently, but not because I am drinking. No sireee, not me. I just dropped off a while ago when I drank a little, and never got back on after I rehabilitated.

It sounds like you all had good and successful AF holidays. We don't celebrate it here, which is just as well, since we (me and my family) are vegetarian! But I did get into the whole Thankful idea that was being bandied about. I AM thankful, and I DO love being sober, more than ever.

At the same time, I am dreading the Christmas holiday season because that's when the drinking really gets serious around here. I'm pretty sure I will be able to stay AF, but it won't be fun, if you know what I mean.

Have a great Saturday everyone!

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

G'day there Beatle, and congratulations on a superlative intro to today's thread. Yes, lot's of grog around here too, but i will be taking my own 'stash' of af supplies in the safe knowledge, there will be plenty left in the fridge through Christmas! Will be summer down here, so usually hot over Christmas. I'm going into this period with renewed vigour now that i'm sober, and while i have an understanding, loving family, i feel i need to almost 're-new' my being a part of my family...

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Good morning and BEATLE!!! Awesome to "see" you again - that's two days in a row for us! Thanks for getting us started today and hello to Guitarista too.

I would like to send a special strong vibe today to our AF friends who are dealing with parental loss physical or mental. Pamina, Janice and WIP - I can't imagine how difficult it must be to deal with your losses and especially having to make decisions about your parent's property and affairs. I am not looking forward to going through that one day. Janice - I think Pamina summed it up best - dig deep inside because you have what works FOR YOU down in there to stay sober during this time.

Beatle - you raised a very good point in your post which caught my eye.

I am dreading the Christmas holiday season because that's when the drinking really gets serious around here. I'm pretty sure I will be able to stay AF, but it won't be fun, if you know what I mean.

(emphasis mine)

What that brings to mind for me is the notion that drinking is fun, and not drinking is not fun. I used to have that notion as well. It's taken a lot of mental work on it, but I no longer believe that. The guilt and paranoia over whether I'm making an ass of myself, the worry about whether I'm controlling my drinking enough, the hangovers, etc. etc. are NOT fun. I'm starting to enjoy being in social situations and just being myself on a guilt free basis. This has been a VERY important perception for me to get through.

I'm not sure if that's really what you meant, that's just what came to my mind.

On a different topic, I didn't realize you are a vegetarian. You might be interested to know that the book we were talking about yesterday - The Diet Cure - talks about that and the special considerations for meeting protein requirements. I know you are all over that because you are all over the whole nutrition thing! Just thought you would be interested to know that the author addresses it, and so far, seems to do it in a supportive way. As a low carber I've read authors who seem to just not want to go there - "eat meat or be crazy" sort of attitude.

I'm up at this silly hour because I am watching figure skating. LOL the internet feed through Icenetwork.com plays this music between events that is like really bad 70's porn music. :egad: Well, the free dance is about to begin so I'm going to check out what the judges are wearing.

DG

[startingover]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Hi there DG, Mr G, Beatle and all to come.
I am definitely interested in improving my diet and had planned on getting that book DG. I too am a vegetarian and I know how difficult it can be to meet our protein needs, I also understand the detrimental effect an unbalanced diet has on my sense of wellbeing.
Re the drinking and not drinking, for some reason at the moment I am not too worried about Christmas (not sure if that will change) but like Mr G, I am looking forward to renewing my relationship with my family and not stressing about acting like an idiot for once!
Have a lovely day everyone x

[bear73]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Well day 7 AF for me here - I have resisted wine on thursday and last night.
agreed with friend that thu would be af so she turned up with wine (and nice af drinks too) I said no! I also went shopping for food last night (v tired, hungry and needing to unwind) with oh and we bought a bottle - didn't drink it! I have the coldy tired headache feeling, I am also producing a lot of gas!I had 2 cigarettes last night when friends arrived for weekedn visit at 11pm -- but I ddin't drink.

I'm off to the gym today and tomorrow - I've not made it there at all this week - will change that for next week.
Hope you are al ldoing well and enjoying run up to Christmas - worried about work Xmas do next Thu - know I will feel better if I don't drink - but I am tempted to moderate. Could drive to get round it?Am worried I wil ldrink too muc hand ruin stuff - funnily enough Christams and stuff with my closer friends I'm happy not to drink - don't want peopel to suspect anything.

Oh well back to focusing on today I guess and being af and smoke free.

[beatle]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Hiya all, I've had a good 10-hour sleep (!!!!!) since I posted this thread, and after bathing the kids, eating breakfast and cleaning up, writing e-mails, here I am back on the same thread!

Doggy, I've also gotten through that perception that I am missing out when not drinking (it took a damn long time, though)-- now the problem is that I find it so hard to relate to people who are drinking. It's like they are on another plane, in a parallel world. That's what makes it not fun. I feel like an involuntary observer, just waiting for the evening or event to be over. At the same time, though, I usually savour my sobriety, and watching others get drunk increases my confidence in my decision to be a non-drinker.

One of the great things about having kids though, is that a lot of the events at Christmas (if they are kid-related events) are AF. Funny, I used to think that was a disadvantage-- all those bloody dry parties where we had to clumsily make conversation and pretend to enjoy the childish fun. Now I really DO enjoy the childish fun and feel sorry for those few that I can see wish they had a few drinks to ease their discomfort.

Anyway, I think a positive attitude is the only way to handle this. I just have to look for the fun in any situation. In fact, I find that planning things ahead, like what to do and what to even think about when I'm bored at a drunken event, helps a lot. Anyone else do that?

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Good Morning!!

Beatle, Yes, I do that, too. I do that when I am going to have to be at the airport for a long time or if I have to go out with clients.

Luckily, my family gatherings are all AF these days, so those are pretty easy. When no one else is drinking, it is so much simpler.

I am starting to come out of my incredible funk. Not sure why I reacted so strongly to work stresses, birthday alone, etc. But I did. Of course, I suffer from SAD and had not been taking any melatonin. I did start that.

Unfortunately, the events in India have affected me very strongly and I am dealing with thosee emotions right now.

I have been reading everyone's posts, though, and jumping in occasionally.

Today, I feel better and wanted to say how grateful I am to have all of you. I don't think I would have made it without MWO through this mentally rough time.

Love,
Cindi

[beatle]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Oh, on the vegetarian thing, it is a huge American misconception that vegetarians have protein issues. Americans get about 3 times as much protein as they need in a typical American diet.

We have of course, very carefully researched this and we plan our meals to be fully nutritional. But let me tell you, getting enough protein is not a problem-- beans, lentils, nuts, seed, soy products, etc are all very high protein sources, not to mention that almost all food has protein in it, especially vegetables like broccoli, corn, etc. Granted, they are not as concentrated in protein as meat and fish, but then again, we eat a lot more of them, don't we?

[beatle]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Cindi, I am also upset and sort of obsessed with the India events. It confounds me that this is not being made more of in the media (at least where I live). I can't help wonder if there is a Western bias here-- I mean it's JUST India, not the USA (or London)! Holy shit (sorry)-- this is way bigger than the London 7/7 bombings (which was far less coordinated and "only" ended in 52 casualties). It's been going on for days, and targetted many different places and specific nationalities, and the terrorist are very well trained. As I understand it, over 150 people have been confirmed dead, hundreds injured and it's STILL going on! (Granted, London is just a hop skip and jump away from here, and India seems very distant, but still...)

OOPs, sorry Cindi, didn't mean to get you more upset. I hope you keep taking your melatonin, and maybe some of the essential oils (see post in Holistic Healing)? And keep coming back here when you feel upset-- that's what I do. It's very distracting!

[charlee]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Morning all
Losing most of my weekend.....again.....work and nephews b/day party this afternoon...My mind keeps going round and round with my mental "to do" list. I need to find a way to turn that mind off and learn that I am only one and can only do one thing at a time..superwoman I am not!!!.....I am working on telling myself that every one thing I can chip away at on that never ending list is one less thing I have to do.....somedays it works...today isn't one of them!!!...I am hoping to spend some time tonight reading yesterdays and todays thread.....Hope everyone has a great day......

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Happy saturday ABeroooos!

Beatle thanks for the loverly surprise beginning! it sounds like you are already on track for Christmas and have a great attitude.

Doggygirl this really hit home for me as well when you said:

What that brings to mind for me is the notion that drinking is fun, and not drinking is not fun. I used to have that notion as well. It's taken a lot of mental work on it, but I no longer believe that. The guilt and paranoia over whether I'm making an ass of myself, the worry about whether I'm controlling my drinking enough, the hangovers, etc. etc. are NOT fun. I'm starting to enjoy being in social situations and just being myself on a guilt free basis. This has been a VERY important perception for me to get through.

that was a great breakthrough for me this Thanksgiving happy to say.

I don't want to start a big nutrition trend in the wrong part of the forums but must say I disagree with the notion that the US diet is too high in protein. The 1950's food pyramid is sadly still at the forefront of our government thinking about what is best for us, and it's so clearly and blatantly driven by the corporate food giants that profit from cereal/grain bases foods and just "happen to" lobby DC with huge sums of money.
the research of Dr Barry Sears on eicosanoid reactions in brain chemistry has bolstered what I have noticed personally about a higher protein (.75 to 1gram per pound of lean muscle mass) diet that controls carbohydrate intake. When I eat accordingly my moods are stable, I sleep like a baby and have very few tired moments in the days. anyway, find what works for you but check it out...

I'm off to a very long day of driving...better go start a car.

be well friends

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Cindi, so glad your funk is lifting XXXXXX

[vinophile]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Good Saturday Morning !!!
It is so nice to read all your posts. It makes one feel that we are not alone in many of our feelings..good, bad and ugly.
I survived having 25 for dinner on Thursday but really needed yesterday to recover. With Xmas coming we are constantly reminded (here by the media) of everything we have to do and all the fun we should be having while getting everything done. We are made to hold such high expectations for ourselves.I'm hoping that I can remember how grateful I should be for everything instead of feeling "let down" that I don't have the completely perfect life that we are supposed to have to feel content.

Beatle, it is good to see you here. I love all your info on the holistic thread. I, too, am a vegetarian. I would love to follow a vegan diet but have found it very hard to eat in restaurants.In reading labels of the foods in stores, so many products have casein, a milk protein, that is is very hard to maintain a strictly vegan regime.
Guitarista, I'm jealous of your Christmas weather. My dream is to move to the southern hemisphere for our winter
Doggygirl, were you once a figure skater? I absolutely love to watch skating !!
Startingover, I try not to stress over the holiday season but it's hard. When it's over I always look foward to the peace and tranquility if January. Of course by mid-January I'm looking for some excitement.
Cindi,I'm glad you're feeling better. It's was such a pleasure to come back to MWO after a few weeks and find your posts. Travelling as much as you do must be difficult. I hope you get to relax this weekend.
Bear, congratulations on day 7!!!
Charlee, good to see you again!.I wish I could get rid of my mental "to do "list. If I don't chip away at it I get stressed out. At this point I'm not organized enough to even have a to do list
Pamina, Janice,and WIP, having elderly parents and losing them is so hard. I lost my father, who was the glue in our family, three years ago and my mother has alzheimers.
At times, dealing with her is so depressing as she is very combative. I often feel as if I'm on a seesaw of guilt(when I don't spend time with her) and despair(when I do spend time with her). My heart goes out to you all.

I'm a little slow to get going this morning. Usually I'd be returning from the gym by now but I thought that since the sun is shining i should exercise outside to take advantage of the sunlight, which we don't get much of at this time of year. I'm dragging my feet but I'll make myself do it.
Have a wonderful day all.

Janet

[vinophile]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Hi Det, I cross posted. It's good to see you. Enjoy your drive today. You and Cindi are always in airports so enjoy your travels on the ground.

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

vinophile;480493 wrote: With Xmas coming we are constantly reminded (here by the media) of everything we have to do and all the fun we should be having while getting everything done. We are made to hold such high expectations for ourselves.I'm hoping that I can remember how grateful I should be for everything instead of feeling "let down" that I don't have the completely perfect life that we are supposed to have to feel content.

Pamina, Janice,and WIP, having elderly parents and losing them is so hard. I lost my father, who was the glue in our family, three years ago and my mother has alzheimers.
At times, dealing with her is so depressing as she is very combative. I often feel as if I'm on a seesaw of guilt(when I don't spend time with her) and despair(when I do spend time with her). My heart goes out to you all.

Janet

Janet, I am on the same wavelength, with Christmas (I never did enjoy it and find it oppressive, now) and a "difficult" mother with Alzheimer's. The issue for me right now is not that I want to drink... right now, I don't, although I know there is no guarantee that the impulse/thoughts won't come roaring back at any time. For me, now, it is just battling the sadness and a sense of meaninglessness.

So, what do I do? Exercise and meditation. Daily. And eating right. Mindfulness of my thoughts and emotions, throughout the day. Refusing to get aboard the "trains of thought" that go nowhere, and refusing to read the "postcards from hell." Watching a lot of movies! Netflix will possibly save my life! And staying out of the threads here that are not healthy for me to be reading. I joined the SMART online recovery board, and I think it will be helpful, too.

wip