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    #1

    New thoughts on moderation

    so I was sitting at home last night nursing a cold that I believe I've had for like 2 weeks.

    thoughts of going out to the local or the liquor store were buzzing in my head, but I actually felt way too lazy to get a coat and shoes on step outside in the cold.

    I just got up made some tea and started to think, "why was that so easy, and other times it's absolute torture".

    Early October for instance, I was wanting nothing but to get a couple of bottles and go home and invite my boyfriend over, I had to fight it like crazy, I took kudzu, drank water, I called my invisible booze beatin' angel to no avail. I ended up drinking about 4 glasses of wine.

    Then I started to notice that if I pay attention, the whole thing is like a cycle, like the seasons.
    you just have to be a bit ready for it, but at the same time it's not easy to predict.

    At thanksgiving I could just look at the wine and have the same reaction as I did with bread or nuts or whatever was sitting on the table.

    We can't neglect the triggers, but if I have a bad day at work and pass by the bar at one of my low craving moments, my logic is like "hey that is such a lame idea, to pay all that cash to get a headache and smell like hell the next day".

    And other times it's like the thoughts are not there and I find myself at the bar going, "damn I really need this drink".

    It's like waves I think, they come and go. like watching the tides.
    You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber
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    #2
    New thoughts on moderation

    Hi Trixie,
    Nice to see a post from you. I know you're around. I call those strong cravings my DRINK light. When it comes on, I just can't find the off switch. I can do something else, drink something else, but it still might be on. If it comes on early in the day, I am doomed to drink. Happily, I have not had a strong craving like that since early September. I have been drinking very moderately, less often than weekly, and that seems to do it for me.
    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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      #3
      New thoughts on moderation

      Hi Trixie,

      I agree that the drinking mood, or drinking light in Sun's case, goes in and out with the tides. But then doesn't that apply to most things? There are times when I can look a dessert or other treat and go "yeah, right - don't need the cals" and other times it feels like a birthright. Some days the mood is up, and sometimes it's not so up. Some days I feel like I can accomplish a gazillion tasks and other days can barely get my tush to do two. We used to talk about biorhythms for our physical, emotional and intellectual selves. I think there's something to that. I think ultimately if we keep ourselves within some measure of "curbs" we've got the battle won. Love your sea analogy.

      Vera-b

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        #4
        New thoughts on moderation

        Thanks for a great post Trixie -- it's especially relevant for me today. I'm heading out just now to a work function and I want to be AF this year. I have been argueing with myself all morning -- "come on Db one glass won't hurt" "maybe just ONE with lunch" "what if I just pur one but don't drink it!" OH PLEASE!!!

        You post has helped me today -- thanks
        "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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          #5
          New thoughts on moderation

          nc post trix,i to at times feel tht way,is the pain worth it the next day not for me,as ive found LIMITS,when we go over it it in anthing we do, there are consequences to be paid,good work keep it up,gyco im impressed with ya

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            #6
            New thoughts on moderation

            yup - the sea, sometimes quiet, sometimes stormy... and sometimes a tsunami... watch out for the high waves. Jeeeez.

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              #7
              New thoughts on moderation

              Nice post Trix: Good to see you.

              I too am finding a new pattern . . . developing a confidence to "go with it" if it feels THAT important to have a glass of wine tonight knowing that tomorrow will be OK. I've even had weeks where I've felt a strong desire to have a drink more than 3 evenings/week . .this urge is not a desire to drink in excess. . . more a desire to "test the limits" of the 3 nites/week rule as if to prove can I do it and go back to 3 nites the next week. And I can, and that feels good.

              This is all starting to feel like the whole dieting thing I've dealt with for 20+ years. Better to eat small amounts of what you really want than "deny" yourself and end up eating more of things you don't want trying to fill the void. I know I won't eat ice cream or cake (or drink wine) excessively, or I'll gain weight. But sometimes, just a taste hits the spot.

              Glad to hear you sounding well. Please drop in again soon!!

              G

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                #8
                New thoughts on moderation

                hello all. sorry it took so long to respond. I have had a huge workload. i am glad you guys understand my analogy.

                yeah zed. put on that foul weather gear and keep going. not sinking
                You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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