AF Daily - Sunday December 7

[Doggygirl]

I'll "mark" the thread start and come back for some edits! Happy Sunday all...

DG

Good morning from the Midwest USA! It's a low key weekend here - not even any figure skating to watch. So I'm re-charging the old battery.

I was thinking in the wee hours this morning (fell asleep really early watching the tube so woke up early!) about something Brigid said recently. She was talking about it not being enough to desparately want to stop drinking - it takes even MORE to make that tough decision to actually quit.

I woke up early today because I had already had enough sleep and I feel really good. But for years I would wake up in the wee hours with night sweats and a bad hangover, and lay in bed thinking about all the guilt and shame and waste of my life with drinking. I would BEG for some higher power to please help me end the madness and I would desparately want to quit. But then I would drink again that day and every day. I never want to forget those lonely, desparate nights because that's a big part of life with AL for me that I do not ever want again. As our wise Brigid said, desparately wanting to quit is simply not enough. Laying in bed night after night HATING the drinking and what it brings to your life is not enough. It truly IS a huge step beyond that, and a very tough decision to QUIT and NOT DRINK. But it can be done as we are all proving and persevering through the rough beginning stages is SO worth it down the road.

I know it's a heavy topic, but that's what I was thinking about! So there you have it!

Today will be another low key one for me. Other than my SMART face to face meeting, there are no scheduled things or URGENT URGENT URGENT things. So I will relax and enjoy the day! Don't get those too often at this time of year.

DG

[Tom 4.0]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Good morning one and all,

Thanks to everyone for their support yesterday; feeling fine this morning. I didn't do any structured exercise, but got out of the house to run some errands / shopping and wound-up walking quite a bit. All's good.

AAthlete, your input inspired a thought about progress vs. relapse. Quoting Wikipedia, "A virtuous circle or a vicious circle is a complex of events that reinforces itself through a feedback loop toward greater instability. A virtuous circle (or virtuous cycle) has favorable results, and a vicious circle (or vicious cycle) has deleterious results."

As far as I'm concearned, improved health is both the path toward and the goal of sobriety. Hence...

Nutrition + exercise > better health > positive mood > no alcohol > better nutrition + more exercise > good health > more positive mood > no alcohol etc.

And conversely...

Poor nutrition + no exercise > poor health > bad mood > alcohol > worse nurition + still no exercise > worse health > more alcohol etc.

As Cindi said "... drinking always makes it worse." And I'll add "Not drinking always makes it better".

Thanks again everyone, I hope you have a good day.

[Tom 4.0]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

DG,

I had a similar thought bouncing around in my head this morning. Yesterday, when I was complaining about not feeling well, I said "At least I don't feel as bad as my last hangover." When I wrote that I was referring to my last hangover, the most recent of a countless number over the years. Upon reflection, what I really mean is that it is the last hangover of my life.

November 3, 2008 is the last hangover forever.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Tom, I like your description of the cycles of success and doom! I'm also very happy that you got through the day yesterday despite the funk. It will happen from time to time, and you now have some practice working your way through it. GOOD JOB. Certainly not worth drinking over.

Interesting reflection on "last hangover." Onward and forward hangover free!

DG

[momof3]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Good Morning,

A quick post before I'm off to church....

Tom, You sound so much better. I love the information on the cycles.

DG, Brigid, and others. Yes, being AF free is so much more than that (i.e., stopping the drink). For me, it means living a meaningful, honorable, and healthy life. I am working on goals in each of these areas.

We're going to get a Christmas tree later today.

Happy Sunday

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Cross posted! Momof3, Yes to the honorable and healthier life! Have LOTS of fun with your family getting your tree and decorating it and all that jazz! Christmas is for kids in terms of the fun stuff like that!!!

DG

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Hello, Friends!!

I really like this group. We have so many great thoughts and things to consider here on how to stay sober. It helps so much.

For some reason, today I feel much calmer about being sober. I have always been so afraid of failure, that I kept failing. If that makes sense?

Today, after going through the last few day's threads, I realize that I need to look at that fear right in the face and banish it.

Staying sober is a lot more than just not drinking. It is recognizing that our lives do not revolve around not drinking, our lives revolve around living. Being sober while living it is simply one aspect.

Thank you, everyone.

Love,
Cindi

[AAthlete]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Doggygirl;488893 wrote: ...I would BEG for some higher power to please help me end the madness and I would desparately want to quit. But then I would drink again that day and every day...

DG

DG, thanks for starting this thread today!

One of the things that I learned on my way to sobriety is that I have to accept the plan that God has for me; I can't just toss foxhole prayers out at him asking Him to do something for me. So, I can no more ask God to stop me from drinking then I can to help me win the lottery, or have that pretty girl fall for me.

What I can do is understand and accept the life that He wants me to lead. Does God want me to abuse alcohol? Does he want me to ignore my family? No, He wants me to be a caring and compassionate soul who puts the needs and welfare of others before me.

There are all kinds of conceptions out there, and in fact are all kinds of Gods. Whatever one anyone chooses to follow is fine by me - but I think the underlying tenant of thinking of others first remains the same.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday.

[brittzak]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Cindi it makes perfect sense to me!!!!!! At times I feel almost obsessed with quitting and the fear of failing that I get so stressed that I do fail. Instead of putting that strength and focus into a AF life. Like DG said....lying in bed crying to God begging for forgiveness and to be healed of alcoholism, yet repeating the cycle. There is nothing wrong with pray, but you have to help yourself no miracle is going to occur. Staying sober is learning to live again. What do I now do with ALL THOSE drunk hours...and honey I have many hours free now...I started gardening...alot. I planted 70 roses bushes my first 8 months sober.....I was BUSY.

[brittzak]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

We cross posted AA goodmorning

[ready2change]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Good morning everyone...Happy Sunday!!

I too, love how this tread has evolved. I feels so "safe" over here, everyone with the same goals . I know with almost every post I read, I can see myself and my thoughts in there somewhere.

Being sober can be done, remaining sober is how we choose to live our lives and the changes we make to ensure our sobriety. Bless you all for your efforts to have a better life.

R2C

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Cinders - good morning! I saw your post earlier and it prompted some thinking about fear of failure v. fear of success. I think I'm more fearful about success because that sets a higher standard that I expect myself to live up to every day. More pressure on some level. There are times I think "I hope I can keep this up." Well, hoping ain't gonna cut it - I just have to DECIDE to keep this up (my sobriety and also smoke free, proper diet, exercise, etc.) in order to have a good life. I sure don't want that other life though. Maybe I'm a little fearful of both LOL! I good topic to ponder.

AA - good morning! I sure agree with the underlying tenant of being good to others!!!! Still confused about the rest of the God stuff. But I like the term "foxhole prayers" and I can sure see why THOSE don't work!

Good morning Britt - I'm gonna be all over you like flies on poop on that gardening stuff once spring gets here! (LOL, at least the warning is early enough where you have plenty of time to run far and hide well before that time comes.....)

Well, I'm off to my weekly SMART meeting for some weekly motivation and a really good omlette!

DG

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Good morning everybody! I woke up early too. 5AM. I stayed in bed awake and thinking about the early wake time. I too, thought about the bad nights, sweats,the prayers, swearing to never drink again, only to do so before noon. I lay there thinking about how I felt good, awake, positive, and thankful and got up. My neighbor who does the ice cream celebration with me is leaving town Thursday and we have to have it early (6 months is in a week). I said that was fine - there was no way I wasn't going to make it!

I went to a bar Friday night for a birthday thing and had soda and lime and it felt natural! And that was after estranged one was served court papers again.

[namaste]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Good Morning,
I do appreciate the topic this morning..I've been talking about it all week. I've definitely got a lot at stake this time around to have me serious enough to surrender abstinence. I've done it before..and at the time, it took something big then...my children's future. I quit for them. When my role as a mother wasn't my primary responsibility I defaulted to my way of coping with life because that is what is how I'm wired, I guess and I had to muster up something else, I suppose, to give me reason and purpose. It took me a while and all my fears have stepped in to present themselves to me at this stage in my life..and I've faced them. I'm not saying it's all alcohol related, I say it's life...I have just seen how I have used alcohol to try to escape it and it's not in my deepest nature to turn away so it's been a quandry and a real struggle, so I don't do it for very long, but when I do..it is hell. Sooo, I'm grateful for that part of me that is stronger than the addict, that points me in the right direction, that says I'm stronger than this, that I deserver better than this, that I know better ways than this and that I'm worth more than this. My body deserves good nutrition, hydration, love, care, rest...good meaningful work and relationships...I often drink because I'm not getting what I need and sometimes don't know how to get it, so I've been learning how to do it..that is the one day at a time thing for me..not so much one day without a drink, but one day of learning how to identify and ask for what I need, what my soul needs and to take some action around that, and when I have it, it's amazing how that void in me is filled up and the need to drown that thirsty empty bottomless pit subsides.

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Sunday December 7

Happy Sunday ABerooooos!

DoggyGirl, thanks for your early 'mark' here

Namaste what a great line: what my soul needs and to take some action around that, and when I have it, it's amazing how that void in me is filled up and the need to drown that thirsty empty bottomless pit subsides.

yikes I think I slept for 9 1/2 hours. like a rock. an no drinking dreams for the 3rd night in a row. whew! I have some home repairs to do so that stored energy will be put to good use.

Iv'e been thinking lately of how an addictions grip on us is very much like a bad dream. it seems so very real/powerful/frightening and yet when we wake up there is the instant relief that it was 'just a dream'. I was scared to quit drinking for so many years because I was still in this dream, and I really thought I'd be missing out on something if I quit. That fear was an example of how realistic a bad dream can be. It is truly grand to have awakened

be well my friends