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AF Daily, Monday December 29th

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    AF Daily, Monday December 29th

    Morning everyone

    Well the computer is still working, Mr Sausage has abandoned putting a new mother board in for now and says he's sorted the loose connection. He still intends to do so in the near future - because we can't get any sound on our computer at the moment, but at least the internet is up and running and it doesn't look like i'll lose my MWO connection over New Yr!!

    This might be a bit of a long rambling start to your day, so as DG says, grab a sandwich!!

    Did a bit of a count up last night and discovered (providing I stay sober up til and including new years eve, I will have had 272 AF days in total in 2008. Am really pleased with this because until the start of 2008 I was drinking every day (due to stress of 2 young children, post natal depression and depression regarding a hysterectomy) and it was only just over a year ago that I realised I had a problem (or more correctly - I decided I needed to do something about my problem) and so made one of my new yr resolutions for 2008 "to decrease or stop drinking alcohol - keep to fri and sat nights or special occasions only"

    Within days of starting 2008 I had broken it because I found moderation just wasn't working - surprise surprise ! and I came up with an excuse to drink almost every day. On Jan 15th (a tues) I woke feeling really rubbish after a bottle of 14% red wine on the monday evening (a day I couldn't even justify drinking anyway) and decided i'd do my 90 AF days and see how I felt after that. Apologies for those that have heard me ramble on this subject before, but I actually ended up doing 107 AF days because on day 90 I decided I wasn't sure if I wanted to quit for life or keep going longer. - Anyway on day 108 a friend pursuaded me to have a drink of wine occasionally, as "it's obvious you don't have a problem if you can do 107 AF days, so why miss out" and - well you know the rest , within days I was back to old levels as before and was v disappointed.

    Between May and end of Aug I had several half hearted attempts at going AF but it never amounted to more than a few days here and there, (except for a spell of 23 days in june- during which by sheer willpower I stuck at it but was really miserable). Around July I discovered MWO and researched more about it and started to read stuff on the boards but didnt' actually join properly and post until Sept 2nd (after I'd made a resolution to quit again on Sep 1st.)

    I've now been AF since Sept 1st (with the exception of when on holiday in Spain for 9 days end of Oct when I drank most days and which I now accept was a mistake - I jumped straight back on the waggon with the support of the MWO community when i returned home on 3rd Nov.)

    I'm finding it easier - the support of everyone here really helps and since Sept i've lost 16lbs in weight and am almost back to my pre-children, ideal weight - just need to lose another 7lbs or so. I feel so much healthier in myself - and people who haven't seen me for months comment on how well I look - (not quite as much a transformation as DG in her before and after photos, but I'm working on it!!) I have little support at home as my husband Mr Sausage is an almost daily drinker and "wine expert" - drinks 6 days a week, and we have 200+ bottles of wine in the garage. Even now he just doesn't get it and when I told him tonight about my 272 AF days he just said "well I think you can justify having a propper drink on new years eve can't you -i'll get a good champagne in"!!!!

    This has turned into a bit of a "my story" - sorry folks, for hijacking the AF daily thread - I always said to myself that i woudn't post a "my story" until i'd achieved 6 months sobriety, but I just wanted to sort my thoughts out as i work on finalising my new yr resolutions for 2009 which include "staying AF" True - i haven't had 6 months consectutive days sobriety but my AF days in total work out at almost 75% of the year which is a huge step forward and something I hope I can build on.

    Thanks again everyone for all your support - I wouldn't be where I am without you all, and have a great AF day!

    #2
    AF Daily, Monday December 29th

    Congratulations on you AF days. And being sober since Nov 3rd. I drank again last night so I now have a terrible hangover. I am determined to knock this drinking on the head. I don't enjoy any aspect of it anymore, not even the drinking itself. Got to wonder why I do it. I have been thinking about my brother-in-law a lot today. He died in november this year, he was drunk, fell over in the street and choked on his own vomit. That is my greatest fear, not waking up one morning and leaving my family behind.

    Comment


      #3
      AF Daily, Monday December 29th

      Morning Sausage,

      What a journey we are all on going AF. Congrats on your success so far and determination for the future.

      Today I am really proud of myself. I know it was all about silly little things that pale into insignificance next to DGs day, but yesterday I was so stressed that I was actually trembling. Pacing from room to room and up and down stairs not knowing what to do with myself. But..... wine only entered my head for a fraction of a second and I thought well that's not going to make it fit.

      I can't describe what a big step this is for me because I am not on antabuse any more. Until now I would have thought well you can't drink, so get over it. This is so much more positive.

      Anyway I said it was a silly little thing that stressed me out. Well it seems that I got carried away on features when ordering the new machine and this one dosen't fit properly in the slot in my fitted kitchen. So being calm I thought oh so what I'll just put the door up in the loft, So I let the installer leave, because it was all my fault! Only to find when I next wanted a cup of tea. That he hadn;t pushed it as far back as it can go and that I can't open the store cupboard next to the machine without opening the washing mqachine door first. Needless to say I am not strong enough to do it myself, which is what stressed me out because I felt so helpless.

      Anyway feeling really good today even though I am off to work shortly.

      Keep well (and warm) everyone.
      Learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for tomorrow - Einstein
      AF 8 June 2012

      Comment


        #4
        AF Daily, Monday December 29th

        Sorry ezzmae cross posted.

        Well that certainly does put things in perspective. That certainly is a strong motivator to stop drinking. This is a great site for day to day support from some members who are much wiser than me.

        If you can get away with a low maintenance day, I recommend a resolve and a duvet. Otherwise just try not to beat yourself up too much, today will pass. My heart goes out to you and the rest of the family left without your brother-in-law
        Learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for tomorrow - Einstein
        AF 8 June 2012

        Comment


          #5
          AF Daily, Monday December 29th

          I think that I should be in the Just Starting Out threads. Looks like I posted in the wrong place. My day is almost over, my head is still spilting and I won't have any AL today.

          Comment


            #6
            AF Daily, Monday December 29th

            Hello all,

            I overslept (hooray!), but now I'm running late (boo!) It's panto season over here.

            Sausage: I was disappointed about drinking a week ago after eight months AF, and then I sat down and worked things out... I didn't drink in Jan or Feb. On March 1st I was waiting to catch a plane home in Kathmandu airport (as you do), and decided it would be a good idea to spend my remaining rupees on beer. I drank for five days, stopped again for the rest of March, then had a six-day blitz in early April before stopping again until one day last week. So far this year I've had a drink on 12 days. It has to be 0 days for me because I know how dangerous it is for me to start drinking, but actually I've done amazingly well. (Even if I do say so myself. Ahem). And so have you!

            Loppy Lugs: How annoying about the washing machine! It happened to a friend of mine with her dishwasher, coz all the appliances are slightly different sizes apparently. Can you get it replaced for one that fits properly so you can have the door back on? I hate it when things like that go wrong too, it's always so much hassle getting them sorted out.

            Ezzmae: welcome!
            sigpic
            AF since December 22nd 2008
            Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

            Comment


              #7
              AF Daily, Monday December 29th

              3 hours into Dec 29th

              It is about 3 am here. I am af for day 2. I know I won't drink today. Day 4 is usually the day when I get restless. For the first time in months and months I went 9 days af. That was a few weeks ago. Had no desire for it, started walking again and lost 13 pounds right away. I don't know why I drank again. A lot of times I want to drink on Wednesdays b/c I have therapy on that day.

              When I am not busy, it is easier to drink from boredom. It's so stupid. I look at others who are so motivated and not tired. I know that when I am not motivated, organized, happy and tired all of the time is b/c of al but I don't dare say that. I am tired of the secret.

              I am determined to go af this week. Yeah, even with N.Y.'s eve. That really isn't a challenge for me. Drinking around people doesn't appeal to me as much as drinking alone.
              __________________________________________________ _


              Love yourself enough to walk away from what no longer serves you.

              Comment


                #8
                AF Daily, Monday December 29th

                Happy Monday!!! (is it Tuesday by now in NZ? Happy Tuesday to NZers!)

                Sausage, I love your "year in review." You have come so far. I didn't know all of the details from your pre-MWO part of 2008 and I enjoyed reading that. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Especially since Mr. Sausage still doesn't get it. You are one of our shining, shining examples that sobriety can be achieved even with a drinking spouse. I also applaud you for getting a handle on your health and fitness before it was over 50 pounds out of control!!!!!!!!

                ((((Loppy))))) I'm sorry about that dang washing machine. Back in the pre-Mr. Doggy days I would have been a bucket of tears over an appliance mishap like that. I'm with Marshy wondering if you can exchange it for one that fits better into the space? But still...the hassle of it all. It's great to hear that stinkin' drinkin' thinkin' wasn't a big part of the disappointment!

                Marshy, what's "panto season?" You too have had a really awesome year. I'm so happy that you got RIGHT back on the wagon after that decision after 8 months. My hat is off to you for that!

                ezzmae, you are welcome to post here and anywhere else that you want to on the MWO forum. This is a great threat that we start every day to help each other stay alcohol free. You will find a lot of wisdom in this group that might help you get going with your new, sober life. I am sorry to read about your brother in law. Sometimes we forget that alcohol addiction is DEADLY in addition to being expensive, embarrassing, risky, etc. etc. etc. We should never take lightly what alcohol has the potential to do to us. The road to sobriety is difficult, but it is SO worthwhile. I hope you will join us.

                Welcome also to Nowandzen. Congratulations on Day 2 AF! They will start adding up quickly. Make a DECISION that you will not drink this week (including New Years) and make a PLAN as to how you will handle tempting moments and urges. Have you checked out the Toolbox thread? It is a "sticky" thread at the top of this section of the forum - the Monthly Abstinence section. That will give you something very productive to do reading that thread, and I think you will get some good ideas about planning for your AF status in the short and long term.

                My year in review 2008 will be about the only thing I've ever written that doesn't require a sandwich LOL.

                Jan 1 - May 21: A drunken haze with a very few AF days sprinkled in there - no REALLY serious AF commitment or attempt.

                May 22 - Dec 31: AF



                The decision is made that 2009 will be an AF year. I will not drink alcohol no matter what. I won't smoke cigarettes either. Take that AL and Nic!

                Well, I'm getting ready to head to Curves early today since I didn't get to work out Saturday and also had Christmas off. I'm ready to get back in the groove! Then I have some errands to run including a trip to Trader Joes - I like that store! (I don't know if they are outside the US, but it's a store that specializes in organic foods or at least foods that are not treated with so many chemicals and stuff). I haven't been there in awhile and I will try to resist the temptation to bring home one of everything.

                HEY!!! Here is a recipe for you! Five Minute Ice Cream in your FOOD PROCESSOR!!!! This is really quick and easy:

                Original recipe from All recipes ?€“ complete resource for recipes and cooking tips

                INGREDIENTS:
                1 (10 ounce) package frozen sliced strawberries
                1/2 cup sugar
                2/3 cup heavy cream

                DIRECTIONS:
                1. Combine the frozen strawberries and sugar in a food processor or blender. Process until the fruit is roughly chopped. With the processor running, slowly pour in the heavy cream until fully incorporated. Serve immediately, or freeze for up to one week.

                *end recipe*

                Here are my notes:

                Depending on what kind of blender you have, there were lots of user comments on this recipe saying it didn't work very well in a blender - I think it has to do with the sharpness of the blades to handle the frozen berries initially. So if you have a choice, do it in your food processor.

                Of COURSE I didn't use real sugar!!! I used 1/4 cup Erythritol and the equivalent of 1/4 cup sweet power (1/8 teaspoon of the brand I have) Stevia.

                I first chopped up the frozen strawberries in the food processor first. Erythritol is notorious for staying grainy, so I mixed the sweetners into the cream first, then gradually poured the cream & sweetener through the hole in the top of the processor container into the strawberries, then let 'r rip for 5 minutes. The ice cream is soft, but good! I tried some after about 30 min in the freezer and it was good too and a little more frozen.

                There were tons of user comments saying that people got decent results subbing things like part yogurt for some of the cream, or part half and half so if you don't like full fat cream you can experiment and see what happens. There were user comments that Splenda worked fine. There of course were lots of comments that other frozen berries work great, and also peaches and I think someone mentioned pineapple.

                I know it might seem odd since it's winter here to be making fast and easy ice cream, but I just look at this as practice for summer time.

                OK - so I lied. I bet now you wish you would have made a sandwich!!!

                OK - gotta run. Have a wonderful sober day everyone and hello to all yet to come!

                DG
                Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                One day at a time.

                Comment


                  #9
                  AF Daily, Monday December 29th

                  Good morning, all! Sausage, you're doing great. I agree with everything DG said. And I wonder... what would happen if you asked your husband to stop making little suggestions like the one you just mentioned? Would he be willing and able to honor and support your own viewpoint about your alcohol problem and your decision about how to deal with it (even though he has made it clear that he disagrees with your perception, and he wants you to drink with him)? I so admire you for your determination and persistence in pursuing what you know to be the best pathway for you and your family!

                  NZ, welcome, this is a great thread! I left you a post in your other thread about Buddhist practice, precepts, and alcohol... I teach and practice meditation, myself, and find it to be a very key part of my own work in staying free from alcohol. Among other things, it helps me to see (and step back from) my own distorted thinking about alcohol, and from urges/cravings.

                  LL, that homeowner stuff... appliances, pipes, roofs, all of that stuff can be SUCH a pain. I would have been bent out of shape by that experience, too!

                  Hi Marshy! Hi DG! EZ, welcome!

                  I've got a big old list of stuff TO DO today, including the Mother Visit. Looking forward to the Florida trip.... not sure yet when I will go, I have a couple of scheduling things to work out early this week, before I can carve out a week during January... At any rate, it'll be soon. Anybody here have a recommendation about scooters? I think I'll buy one while I am down there...

                  Comment


                    #10
                    AF Daily, Monday December 29th

                    Hello everyone! Did you miss me?? :H

                    Sounds like most everyone did quite well getting through Christmas AF! :goodjob: For those that didn't or had some depression problems--there's always hope!!

                    My holiday was good, nothing went as planned, but it all worked out. The surprise party for my sister's birthday fell through--she wasn't feeling well--so it got called off. She felt terrible when she found out--but we celebrated with her on a smaller scale.

                    I'm coming down with a cold, and the combination of that and spending a little too much time with my immediate family I'm feeling a little too bitchy. My SIL is one of the sweetest people we know and I often wonder why I can't be like that. I'm sure she has her days too, but it seems like I have MORE than my share. I guess I am still a little bummed out about the fight hubby and I had before Christmas, since I thought I had changed and that it showed, but evidently not. I'm having a little trouble with the usual post Christmas depression plus I can't stop thinking about how incredibly sad and hurt that last fight made me feel.

                    Anyway, it still feels good to be in the company of so many that can understand how I feel. Especially with the drinking spouses. Mine drank Christmas with his family, but did not get drunk. If it was like that all of the time, it wouldn't be a problem for me at all.

                    I will be glad to get though New year's. We have no plans yet, but I fear hubby will think I'm a TOTAL fuddy duddy if I don't want to do anything. We'll see. Sometimes it just feels like so much work. And I am getting tired. But the good news is, I don't want to drink OR smoke.

                    DG, if you start a blog, would you be posting about your sugar free lifestyle? I would like to do a food detox. The sugar thing seems like a big roadblock--availability, cost, time and effort....... I do need to get off the diet pop though.:upset:

                    Well, enough for now. It's good to be back. I bought myself a Blackberry and I finally figured out how to log on here on our way home yesterday! That was pretty cool!:h
                    _______________
                    NF since June 1, 2008
                    AF since September 28, 2008
                    DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                    _____________
                    :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                    5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                    _______________
                    The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                    Comment


                      #11
                      AF Daily, Monday December 29th

                      Doggygirl;505019 wrote:
                      Marshy, what's "panto season?"
                      I'll send you a PM. I don't want to hijack the thread!
                      sigpic
                      AF since December 22nd 2008
                      Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

                      Comment


                        #12
                        AF Daily, Monday December 29th

                        Marshy;505255 wrote: I'll send you a PM. I don't want to hijack the thread!
                        awwww!!! Marshy! I wanna know, too!!!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          AF Daily, Monday December 29th

                          Top of the Monday ABeroooos!

                          Sausage, you are so organized! people like you that are very serious minded about this WILL progress very well. congrats to you.

                          yes LVT of course we missed you! and welcome to the electronic addiction of the crack-berry! mwahahahaha!. hope you feel better soon.

                          big welcomes to Nowandzen and EZZmae

                          DoggyGirl, the thought of icecream in wintertime is fine by me! since we are not drinking the calories now a little treat here and there is A - OK in my books.

                          back to the gym tonight and I'm all fired up from seeing the last UFC. I just have to be careful and remember I'm not a 22yo steroid junkie, LOL.

                          glad to say I'm feeling well, resolved and happy in my AF lifestyle and wouldn't be dead for quid!

                          be well friends and all to come
                          nosce te ipsum
                          (Know Thyself)

                          Comment


                            #14
                            AF Daily, Monday December 29th

                            A Work in Progress;505259 wrote: awwww!!! Marshy! I wanna know, too!!!
                            OK, hang on, I'll send you the PM I just sent DG!
                            sigpic
                            AF since December 22nd 2008
                            Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

                            Comment


                              #15
                              AF Daily, Monday December 29th

                              Hello Everyone!
                              Congratulations on the AF accomplishments and to those for coming back!
                              The holidays were interesting..I survived AF, but did have an enlightening moment..enlightening because I experienced a feeling that definitely had me want to drink for the first time in close to six weeks, but the good news is that I was willing to just be there with the feeling and recognize it for what it was, acknowledge wanting to run from it and even letting my husband know..."at this moment, I wanted to drink and this is why..." and we moved right past it. That felt good.

                              I traveled for the holidays..first time EVER away from my family to visit his...very strange for me, and I'm glad to be home. A very stressful month last month. I really pushed myself to the edge and saw where I need to rest and take care of myself and didn't, so I hope to do much better going into the new year. Of course part of the challenges of the past few months were getting some things in place that will allow me to have more control over my daily life, but I swear, it was either going to make it or break it and so far, I think I'm going to make it.

                              Hang in there everyone!!!! 2009 is going to be FINE!!!
                              Namaste!
                              Dilayne
                              It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

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