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    #1

    newcomer

    Hi everyone, I just found this website. I have been toying with the idea of going to AA to get help but am petrified. I hope I have the strength to see this through - I'm pretty scared.

    I've been drinking for so long I don't know what my life will be like without it! I know that one of hte reasons I drink so much is out of boredom. I think I must be depressed because sometimes I just can't face the idea of a whole night without alcohol. I'm at the point now where I can easily go through a bottle and a half of wine in one night. And I've gained about 25 pounds! I look like a puffed up version of myself.

    Last night I drank too much, slept through my alarm, and called out of work. I have a Ph.D. and work with a lot of intelligent people - I know they are beginning to see through my "illnesses." I just can't believe I let my life get to this point. I can't believe where I am.

    I read a bunch of other posts and was surprised that there seem to be a lot of people like me! I really want to start getting better. Has the program been working for you?? Have you tried any other programs?

    THANK YOU
    OneMore:h
    Tags: None
    #2
    newcomer

    Know how you feel

    Hi onemore,

    I am new as well. Just got my topa today and the CD's and supps are on the way. I just wanted to say that I know so much how you feel. I think we've all been there - scared and wondering if there's a way out.

    I live alone and drank out of boredom, myself. I've also gained so much weight and keep looking in the mirror wondering what the hell happened. I used to be an attractive woman!

    I've been in and out of AA, in and out of treatment (using the 12 step program) and none of it ever clicked with me. I just hate the fact that God is supposed to cure me - that I can't cure myself. Well, I'm intelligent (as are you) and determined that I can beat this thing.

    Everyone has been so nice to me on this site. I don't know what the future holds but I do know that for the first time in a long time, I have hope again.

    Good luck!

    Marcia

    Comment

      #3
      newcomer

      Hi onemore and mnorgard,
      I to am a newbie. Iam floundering around the forum with confusion, yet intrigued by everyone's stories. I feel such a connection to everyone becuz we all know how each other feels, and wonder how we got here and want to feel better to get on with our life with that great feeling of freedom. I am glad we are able to share with each other. Thanks
      Lynni

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        #4
        newcomer

        hey onemore, I feel your struggle, I have a corked btl of wine on my counter calling me as it does every night at six pm..... I am trying to stay busy and put it out of my mind, I am completely with you! I do not like who I am becoming... my thoughts are with you and everyone else trying to tame this beast!

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          #5
          newcomer

          Thanks for your stories. . . tonight I am not drinking. . . second night for the first I can remember. My husband is out -- usually tonight is a hardcore drinking night - husband's poker night. Anyways, I'm so happy that I found this site and found people like you that are like me. . . please let's stay in touch and try to fight our battles together.
          OneMore:h

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            #6
            newcomer

            Hi there, Onemore, I too have found this site truly enlightening. I couldn't believe there were people who were exactly like me. I've tried for years the control my drinking - can still remember my daughter when she was 3 years old playing "waitress" and filling my wine glass. Done the AA thing, but could never bring myself to tell my story - too afraid I would break down. Done the rehab therapy and hated that - the psycho babble was terribly confronting. The psych's insisting that we were all damaged from our childhood etc. etc. and oh how happy they were when you finally broke down in front of the group!

            I was doing really well over the last weekend. I was doing the CDs, taking the supps and keeping busy. But, like you Pino, I had that half full bottle on the bench and it beckoned me on Tuesday night - that would have been my day 4. Have to start over now. I have to say that I haven't been to GP to get Topomax and I think that will have to happen soon. Topa may be the missing ingredient.

            Take Care.

            Rob

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              #7
              newcomer

              Hi onemore and welcome

              Hi onemore
              Yup, your story is very familar. I also am educated - I am a lawyer - and was desperate for help. I came across MYWAYOUT in May, 2006. At first, I hovered around the boards, toyed with different aspects of the program. It wasent until very recently (about a month ago or so) that I really threw myself into every aspect of it. I have been on Topa since July 10, 2006. Since then, I have been exercising about 3-4 times a week, I have been drinking waaay less (about 1/3 of what I was drinking before) and I have not been drunk ONCE. I have not had to call in sick to work ONCE. I have not felt that mental fogginess at work ONCE.
              I have been doing the moderation thing - but there are many people doing abstinence and succeeding at that as well if that is more of what you are looking for. I may actually turn to abs actually...
              Anyways, I am finding that this program really works. The people are FANTASTIC! Very supportive and caring and always there to pick you up when you are down.
              :w Jen
              Over 4 months AF :h

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                #8
                newcomer

                how did it go last night onemore? rob? what would have been my day TWO, wasn't. my husband brought friends over for dinner & wine.... however, I can say I didn't "pass out" on the couch & remember what I was watching on tv when I turned it off! for me, that's HUGE... going to keep trying though... rob, are you on the topa?

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                  #9
                  newcomer

                  just got the book

                  Hi all - the book just came in the mail - i'm excited to start reading and get on the program. how is everyone doing?

                  Comment

                    #10
                    newcomer

                    Hey unregisterd - why don'tcha register?

                    Hey unregistered>
                    Do you know how to register?
                    If you dont, let us know - if you register - you can then chat, recieve private messages, create a profile etc. How are things
                    Hope you are well - hope you are enjoying the book
                    Hugs
                    Jen
                    Over 4 months AF :h

                    Comment

                      #11
                      newcomer

                      forgot

                      Hi Jen -
                      Sometimes I forget to register - thanks for the reminder!
                      Lonely this week - husband is away and we don't really know anyone since we moved here not too long ago. . . have been drinking a little, but not as much as normal.
                      OneMore:h

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