No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

[trigger]

I'm an accident here (karma? fate?) but I guess I needed to unload and support others/get support. So. My father died a pretty horrific death last year, one week after a new marriage. The marriage fell apart- not because of me, of drinking, but the man chosen- 6 months later. My drinking has definitely increased in the past year from social to attempting the numb-effects. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't concerned about me. My health. What sort of terrible creature I could become. I don't drink daily. But when I have a so-called 'bad day,' it's truly bad. I feel helpless, angry, sad and powerless. Alcohol has been dulling the most acidic and painful emotions- or so I told myself- but I now think it's becoming problematic. I don't want to be a 'seasoned drinker.' I want to be me again. Which is why I'm here, baring my soul and asking for advice from people who may have had a bad year- used drinking to supplement or overcome emotion- and got out of it. I want to not only survive this but thrive. Any advice or kind words would be appreciated. Thank you. Trigger

[sunshine_gg]

No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

Welcome trigger and my condolences on both the loss of your dad and your marriage.
Alcohol can seem like such a good friend in bad times, can't it? Unfortunately, as we learn, AL is no friend at all.

I'd like to invite you to visit the Newbie's Nest and ask questions, read, post and learn. Have you checked out the MWO program yet? Read the book? Do you plan on moderating? Or swearing off Alcohol all together?

Again, welcome.. you've landed at a wonderfully safe and comfortable place.

[tlrgs]

No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

first welcome .. glad you are here .. well its all in your hands how you want to get what you want in life ..just dont give up and just do your best.. that all you can do ..read do what ever it takes.. the time is yours do it for you and only you ..grab it it there for the taking ..look deep within yourself and you will find the willpower and stenght to make it all the way ..stay strong and think positive

[universal]

No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

Hi Trigger,

I also turned to al after my mom passed away and my husband left 8 years ago to numb the pain. Now with a recents friends death and a good therapist, I am FINALLY working through a lot of the pain of my mom's passing that I originally numbed with AL. It does get better. Do you have someone that you trust that you can talk to? Do you believe in going to therapy (I know it's not for everyone). I have truely found that working through all that I suppressed is really helping me.

I hope that helps - you can pm me anytime if you have any questions about what my experience was like.

Take care,
Uni

[j-vo]

No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

Hi Trigger,
You've come to the right place for support. This is where we can help - I'm sorry about your father and your marriage. This is a rough time for you, but you can get out of it with strength from the people here and the information offered on this site.

[trigger]

No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. What I'd like to be is someone similar (not the same) as who I was: not feeling a need to drink. At all. I don't know, but I assume this means complete abstinence over a long time period, if not longer. I don't know how to start. I don't know if this is the right program, but I'm 100% certain AA is not. So I'm putting out 'feelers' to get a sense of what's being offered, success and general well-being. I don't have a lot of money to throw out for pseudo-treatments, or hypno-therapies that have a 30% success rate...I'm not looking for something easy that takes no effort on my part. I'm willing to work for it. I want a better life. With these pre-requisites, is this program, here, something I should pursue? And if so, why. And how. Again, thank you for your time- all of you. Trigger

[j-vo]

No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

Hi Trigger,
You can download the MWO book, but so many people here do not follow that exactly. Hence, the Name MWO. I've made a decision to abstain because that's what I have to do. I have never taken the meds, but I do take various supps that I thought would help me. I think this program can be tailored to meet anyone's needs. Read as much as you can, think about your goals, and then come up with a plan. Everyone's plans are different! Good luck.

[Evie.Lou]

No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

Welcome trigger, I know how sad the so called success rates look but...there is HOPE, you can do this...I know you can. There is no instant answer. It is a learning process. The MWO book gives you a great outline to begin your journey to create the life you want...
It is an important book and when i feel myself getting of track..that's where i go first. i read and reread what RJ wrote.
The next most important thing that has helped me along the way is coming to this site and READING THE THREADS...There is so much GOOD info that I will never be able to get thru it all. Along the way, i pick up ideas that seem to resonate to me..I then use that as part of my recovery program..making sense ???

[FloridaBoy]

No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

trigger;522561 wrote: Thank you all for the words of encouragement. What I'd like to be is someone similar (not the same) as who I was: not feeling a need to drink. At all. I don't know, but I assume this means complete abstinence over a long time period, if not longer. I don't know how to start. I don't know if this is the right program, but I'm 100% certain AA is not. So I'm putting out 'feelers' to get a sense of what's being offered, success and general well-being. I don't have a lot of money to throw out for pseudo-treatments, or hypno-therapies that have a 30% success rate...I'm not looking for something easy that takes no effort on my part. I'm willing to work for it. I want a better life. With these pre-requisites, is this program, here, something I should pursue? And if so, why. And how. Again, thank you for your time- all of you. Trigger

:welcome: Try the Kudzu from this site.... Just hanging out here and reading posts will help. The main thing is that you are not alone and you want to do something positive. You can do it and you will feel a lot better,

[cyclefan]

No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

Trigger, we all make our own road here. The MWO book is a guide that will help you develop your own plan (your way out). Everyone who posts here who is successful has developed a plan, and like everything else you need a plan if you want to change your habits that are associated with how you treat alcohol. The book itself is not expensive and I and others too (I can speak for them because I read it on the threads here) recommend that you buy it and read it. There is also a thread here called the Tool Box thread. It is located in the Monthly Abstinence section, you might want to read through that before you purchase the book. The toolbox thread has a LOT of excellent tips on how to develop ideas to put into your "toolbox" to help you with abstaining from alcohol and dealing with cravings. But developing a plan is important, remember, this is Your Way Out and no one can do it for you, we can only be here to support you.

In addition, by reading through old threads and staying current with new threads you will find support from folks who are in similar circumstances to yours. Because there are people from all time zones who post here there is usually someone around nearly all hours if you find yourself in need of someone to lend a hand. Poke around, there are threads that go on daily like One Day at a Time, the Army Thread, Newbies Nest, the AF thread in Monthly Abs, there will be one that strikes a chord with you and lots of supportive people. Hope this answers your question a little bit about success rates. Welcome.

[trigger]

No Excuses, Bare-Bones Why I'm Here

Thanks, everyone. I feel much more comfortable/confident about making choices. I've been reading threads and have to admit- I felt abnormal, but here I'm not. There are so many people that have stories I can relate to. The support is amazing. I actually think not only can I do this, but that I can do it successfully. I still need to do some research (again, not an excuse)- I've had tons of input and not enough digestion time. I just wanted you all to know that I am listening, and I appreciate your advice.