AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

[Janice]

Hi everyone.....good long thread yesterday!! Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

This will be my first AF one for a while. It was funny last night, couldn't help a smile as hubby poured his first glass, he said to me "....so, what's your policy then??" In other words, what's my plan about drinking or not drinking. I just said I'm being healthy all round and that didn't include drink. I didn't want a great discussion about it, he doesn't know the full extent of my drinking but he is aware its built up again. He ended up falling asleep on the sofa during a really good tv drama we like and missed most of it! He was then up in the night feeling bloated! He has however no problems with alcohol and will happily stop after 2/3 glasses.

Picked up some tips from Evie's thread yesterday on What we Believe re meditation techniques and being in the present moment. I've also been reading a book called Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn on mindfulness meditation. Spent some time yesterday and this morning and I can't believe how "busy" my mind is.......each time I tried, my thoughts just came crowding in. Its going to take some persistance but I want to do it.

A day catching up with jobs, washing etc Normally we have that first glass about 4pm on a Saturday and hubby still will but he'll be on his own today.

Be back later.....probably about 4o'clock!!

Janicexxx
day7

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Morning Janice - and all to come

Nice positive start to the day - pleased you're feeling so positive, congratulations on day 7 - Friday night's are tough at the beginning - I still find it my hardest night of the week, closely followed by Saturday - know the feeling about starting drinking a bit earlier on a Saturday!!!

I too have a bit of a catching up day - it's amazing how much I get done when I'm sober ie house tidier, paperwork / personal admin up to date, more time for the kids etc, i've so much more energy and time for myself instead of dragging myself round the house feeling like a slug for the first half of the day and then once I felt better resuming drinking agan!!! crazy isn't it!! Sounds like mentally you really are focussing on the benefits rather than seeing yourself like a martyr deprived of something - and this really is the key to it all otherwise you may stay AF but by sheer willpower and lead a miserable deprived existance. List all the benefits from being AF - there are so many and re read DG's my new story thread where she does her cost benefit analysis of al - and of course look at the photos!!

This advice applies to everyone else too still to come - i'm feeling very positive about being AF today myself and quite strong, my only really weak times now are for about an hr on fri and sat nights, the rest of the week being AF doesn't really bother me at all and that is huge progress, but if I'm honest it's taken me about a year to get to this mindset. I'm on day 83 today but must have had nearly 300 AF days in total in just over a year.

A bit of news, last night we booked ourself a little holiday (vacation for those of you in USA!!) for a week during the week school break, in February. Still in UK and not far away - should be very relaxing - however this will be the big test - will I drink like I did on holiday last October!?!? Hope not - i'm feeling much more positive this time.

Have a great day everyone - i'll be back later!

Sausage xx Day 83

[stargirl]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Good Morning Janice, Sausage, all you wonderful abbers to come!
I'm up super early today (?) I feel totally rested though, so I guess will chalk it up to the fact that now when I sleep it's quality sleep, not just the unconsciousnes (sp) as a result of passing out!
Janice-Happy al-free weekend. That's good your hubby now knows what your "plan" is. I had to when you talked about your meditation attempt. I'm just the same. My mind just won't stop racing!
Sausage- I too just booked a vacation for the end of February. I'll be flying to the Florida Keys. I must get out of this Wisconsin winter. Normally that's when I mentally snap from this cold. It's hard to picture a trip w/o al, so I wil have to start planning mentally soon.
It seems like a lot of us have spouses/significant others who drink. My boyfriend does everyday. Does it bother any of you? To me it's just annoying, but I do think I may talk to him about it. The big thing that bothers me is him leaving 1/2 full wine/booze glasses out. Before if I walked by one of those glasses he was "done" with, I would chug the rest and stick the glass in the sink. The smell kinda gets to me too. Just wondering because when I was in outpatient two years ago everyone was really freaking out that I was living with a "user"
Well it seems as of late everyone is in wonderful spirits and nippin the al in the bud!
Enjoy your weekends
Oh- DG your pictures are amazing! If that isn't inspiration, I don't know what is!

[stargirl]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Oh, got the results back from my physical yesterday. My liver levels were listed as acceptable. Yay! I was really worriend I had distroyed it. Big sigh of relief!

[cuckoosnest83]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Good morning all. Janice you sound so positive. I'm so excited for you. Stargirl congratulations on the results from the physical. Waiting for the results can be so nerve wrecking. Sausage, you sound where I want to be. I know we need to do this one day at a time but I so want to live the rest of my life alcohol free. I don't want to waste anymore of it in an alcohol induced stupor. You give me hope. Have a great day all.

[Janice]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Hi Sausage, Cuckoostargirl & Star - great news about your liver levels, so pleased for you Star!

Sausage, I'm sure you'll be all the more determined to get through half-term AL free this time round. If you can't get to MWO that week, maybe try writing a journal of your thoughts/feelings if you feel the need. Just a thought.

I'm going to spend some time today re-reading some of my old posts - I know for definite that my return to drinking after 120 days was not a slip; in my head I had already started romanticising about it some time before. I need to learn how to cope with those thoughts as I get further down this AF path. For me, this is the stage where I really get into it, the honeymoon of not drinking - it becomes almost another addiction - its when these feelings wear off that the real work begins.

Anyway, must get on.......be back later.

love Janicexxx

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Hi Everyone: We have some wonderful thoughts here on this thread already!

Yes, I too am on the honeymoon of not drinking. I try to take my sobriety one day at a time, knowing that I made a firm resolution to have a sober 2009. If I feel really tempted:
-I can think about the miserable drinking experiences I've had...the more specific the better.
-I can review all the benefits of not drinking...especially that I'm free from all the deceit.
-I can look at DG's story...it's very inspiring.
-I can look at the toolbox on this thread.
-I can continue to clear up issues so that they won't push me into the bottle.

I give any & all of you a lot of credit who have partners & spouses who drink regularly. I don't have any open bottles of AL in the house which is better for me at this point in my recovery. I hope that some day it won't bother me at all being around it. When we have guests, I either give the bottle to someone to take home or pour the remainder down the sink.

We have a quiet Saturday ahead, & I'm glad of it. Take care.

Mary

[on my way]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Hi all, nothing major to report this morning. You all are sure wonderful inspiration to wake up to!!

Off to soccer, nat

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Hi again

Been on a 40 min cross country run this am - feel much better for it
Going to take my kids out later this afternoon and then do a bit of baking with them! - wouldnt have been motivated to to this kind of thing before when drinking.

I'm anticipating a tough hour tonight, but i'm prepared for it - as i've said before my only bad cravings now are for an hr on a Sat and Fri evening around 7.30pm - and if I walk down the wine section of a supermarket (so I try not to!) seeing all those colour co-ordinated bottles, white, rose, red etc.

Yes Janice, am going to try to be really tough this half term - internet access won't be easy so i may take a diary / notebook of thoughts with me and even print off some of the more motivational posts from MWO before I go!!

Good luck Stargirl with your AF vacation too! Yes I too live with a "user" - Mr Sausage is a daily drinker and we have 200+ bottles of wine in the garage. I've just learned to live with it. If I nag him to stop he just gets annoyed although he's definitely cut down since i've gone sober- am hoping he might quit for Lent - well I live in hope anyway!!

Hi to everyone else too - will drop by again later!

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Hello friends,

I had a lazy, kinda restless day yesterday. Couldn't get motivated to start a big project, so decided to give myself the day off. Towards evening, with the kids gone and hubby working on his project in his shop, I started getting bored. In the past I would have used the "opportunity" with the kids away to drink and smoke to my heart's content. The thought crossed my mind, but I knew it wasn't an option as I had to pick them up later. I guess it's better for me to keep busy, being unproductive seems to get me down.

Unfortunately hubby seems to be going back to his old ways since all his tests came back "normal". I'll be honest here and say that pisses me off a little and I'm disappointed. I'm glad he's ok, but the alcohol only makes the symptoms worse. All that money for tests and now he's not going to take better care of himself??? I wish I could just let it go, but I will admit, I was much happier and "calmer" when he was "on the wagon". Now I'm back to "irritated".

So, today, I have a plan to clean the bathrooms, tidy up the house and start some mending or one of my other projects I need to get started this winter.

Have a great day all.:h

[ready2change]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Happy Saturday abbers!! Congrats to all who made it AF on Friday nite, I know that is tough for some. I have been having strong cravings lately. I actually thought last nite when we went to pick up take out after the gym "if hubby wants to drink tonight, I will" and resume my AF tomorrow. How sick is that? Luckily, he never mentioned it. He is AF with me right now as he has to return to the doctors in March and they told him he needed to improve his health (I'm sure he didn't tell them how much he drinks).

So I am going to get some L-Glut today, I have been reading on the boards that it really helps with cravings. I must admit I have been somewhat lax with supp, hypno CD's and a general plan to be AF. Perhaps that is why I am struggling so? Ya think?

LVT...sorry bout the hubby thing. I can so relate. My hubby knows he needs to get healthy, and he does give it a pretty good go I must admit. It is so frustrating to realise we have no say so over their health and well being, when all we really want is the best for them because we love them. I fully understand your "irritation" just go on about your life, cause at some point we have to accept that the only thing we have control over is ourselves. Hard to accept, I know. Hugs to you.

R2C

[Mohun]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Here's something I didn't think I would ever say. Congrats on your liver test Stargirl! Do you think they make cards for this sort of celebration. Someone should check with Hallmark. :H
It's amazing how the body can heal itself.

Mary, congrats on day 24. I will always remember what day you are on. :goodjob:

Mo.

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Happy Saturday ABomatics far and wide!!

Stargirl, very glad your tests are ok, so now you really have to be careful as the 'beast voice' will try and convince you: "ok, so your fine...go ahead and have one here and there". sounds like LVT's hubby is in that same boat and I myself fell for that one too many years ago when I requested my first liver blood panel after having pains in my right ribcage. Don't fall for it hon!!

Mary, you are doing so well and I love the powerful resolve you bring to this thread.

well, off to kickboxing today even though I ripped up a painfully large peice of my big toe nail on Thursday's class. owie! just going to tape it up and go anyway. I don't want to miss todays' class since I'm traveling monday/tue.

I'd say it's time to grab my coffe and go snuggle with Dx on the couch.

be well my friends!

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Mo: I love that I have a partner. Excellent for both of us.

Deter: Thank you...I do feel grateful.

Mary

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Saturday 24th January

Morning!

Nothing much to say.

I get my cravings around 5pm now. Once it is past 7pm I ask myself, why bother? Between 5 and 7 is when I feel 'bored' during the day. It is really the boredom that gets me thinking about AL.

It is so not worth it for me. I get a buzz within minutes and after an hour or so, I am ready to hit the hay. What a waste of time, money and life.

AF life is great. I still am very upset about my f-up last Saturday. I am glad in many ways that I am still upset about it. It keeps me on my toes!

Have a wonderful and sober day everyone!