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    #1

    Disappointed!

    Just have to get this out, I drank last night, went out for the second Saturday in a row with hubby, did great last Saturday did not drink a thing but water and had a great time, danced all night, then last night went out with hubby and 3 of our friends, I was the designated driver so I drank mostly water but I did ended up having 2 glasses of wine with water in between, I think I drank because I told myself earlier in the day that I would allow myself a glass of wine and then I could not get it out of my mind and that has to be it because I wasn't really craving it at all. Then when we got home I had another glass and a half of wine, stopped after that because there was no more to drink - Thank God!! So disappointed in myself that I drank, I do not ever want to go back to my old ways. Really need to get to another 30 days. So far since Nov 10th I went 11 days and caved, then 33, 21, and now 14 days and caved, was not drunk or even buzzed but still I drank. The numbers in between are going down I so need to get them back up. Super Bowl Sunday and I know without a doubt I will not be drinking today!!

    Thanks for reading,
    Twosox :h
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    #2
    Disappointed!

    Forward motion...not perfect. Well done !!!
    sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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      #3
      Disappointed!

      Hey Twosox ---- Just look back at what you posted ... how many AF days you have had ..... and you didn't get drunk last night. So you had some wine ..... just remember how different that is from before! You've had real progress!

      Enjoy the Superbowl! (AF, of course)

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        #4
        Disappointed!

        It never stops does it. We try, we try,we try.

        The thing I tell myself is,.... that all those days we didn't drink, we could have been (if that makes sense?), what I mean is.... those 11 days, 33 days, 21 days and 14 days.....those 79 days!!!, are 79 days you would have dank on, if you didn't keep trying.

        I think, what I am trying to say is, just don't give up. As long as we don't give up, there is hope.

        I am day 16, and going out of my mind, for that warm, buzzy feeling.
        I miss it.

        Step
        Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way myself!!!

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          #5
          Disappointed!

          I must agree with Step. I have had more than 110 AF days in the past six months than I have in the past 4-5 years. We can never give up the fight. You sound very determined TS. Good for you. I am just 24 hours sober myself and am paying the price. It's not fun anymore, and I am certainly nothing pretty when I drink. Jump right back on track TS. We are here for you.
          "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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            #6
            Disappointed!

            we love you, twosox

            No one is perfect, so don't blame yourself for being a normal person. Listen to Step and the others--79 days AF is great. Now you have a new day and a new start. You can do it. :yougo:

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              #7
              Disappointed!

              Hey Twosox sorry your feeling low. Try not to beat yourself up you have done so well!!! (I've only managed 4 days AF so far) Don't focus on those 2 glasses of wine as much as the fact that you remember getting home, taking off your shoes, brushing your teeth and kissing your loved ones goodnight!! You sound like a very determined person with strong values but don't forget to give yourself a break too.

              xx Summer09

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                #8
                Disappointed!

                twosox, sorry you disappointed yourself. I can sure understand how you are feeling. But, you learned something from your experience. For one thing you learned how much you value your sobriety! Just get back at it. Focus on the positive.
                Dill

                Don’t forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

                If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

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                  #9
                  Disappointed!

                  The worst part of what you did is the guilt, I did the same thing 10 days ago. The beast tapped me on the shoulder and I caved. But everyone here gave me the support to pick myself up, brush myself off and start another 100 days AF. SO do what I did, focus forward not back. Guilt gets you no where!
                  DLW
                  Sobriety since October 2008 ( with a few bumps in the road ) - but I am still here, strong and fighting every day for my sobriety!
                  And every day is a challenge - But I am WINNING so far!



                  • Yesterday is History
                    Today is a Mystery
                    Tomorrow is a GIFT

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Disappointed!

                    Thank you all for your replies, I know I have got to stop beating myself up when I fall and just start again. Feeling better today, although, I dreamed I was drinking. I haven't dreamed of drinking in a long time, must be the guilt, at least it was just a dream.

                    I have to say to that every time I have fallen and started again, I appreciate how much I love not drinking, if that makes any sense. I am really starting to live and it feels great!

                    Love you all!
                    Twosox :l

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